The Stupid Sages (a play written by Darkus Triforce)

Hi guys! It's me, darkus triforce(), and I have written a play about the sages from OoT. It takes place about 5 years after the adult end of OoT, in the chamber of the sages, right after the sages sealed away anothwer evil that had nothing to do with ganon-doofus. Well, here goes:

Nabooru: Well, that was easy!
Impa: Yes. That was quite an easy task.
Nabooru: And I can sleep well at night knowing that I, Nabooru, was the most important one in the defeating that scoundrel!
Impa: That's a lie!!! How could you do anything important? YOu're just the Sage of Spirit. Spirits cant do anything! I, on the other, am the sage of the most powerful of forces: Shadow.
Nabooru: Pssssh! Shadow's just when a candle goes out. I am the embodiment of LIFE!!!
Impa: Oh yeah! Shadow's WAAAYYY more important than spirit, right Rauru?
Rauru: Well, I don't rea-
Impa: *whispers to Rauru*Without shadow there can't be light...
Rauru: Err... as I was saying, I don't really think spirit is very important at all. Yes. That i what I was going to say!
Nabooru: Oh no you didn't sister! Trying to get the others on your side??? Well, two can play at that. For instance, Saria, arn't plants full of life? And spirit is the root of all forest life. Don't you see, spirit made forest!
Saria: That is a very fine point! I go on your side spirit-gal!
Ruto: *mutters* Idiots...
Impa: Hey, ruto, didn't you know that the majority of the ocean is covered in shadows?
Ruto: Errrmmm... ummm... of course I did! Thats why I'm going to your side, Impa!
Darunia: I'm the only sage left... don't get me nto this!!!
Nabooru: *whispers to Darunia* I'll get you a top-quality rock sirloin...
Darunia: On second though, fire is a metaphoric term for life and warmth, so I will go with spirit!
Impa: SO it's all tied up now, Nabooru...
Nabooru: Guess so, Impa...
Impa: LET US DO BATTLE!!!

Narrator: After many long years of fighting, he sages decide to make a truce, and leave the sacred realm to ask the people which was more important: Shaodw or Spirit. But they didn't know that in the time they were fighting, the wrath of the Twilight had come and gone, and the Temple of Time, the one portal between the two realms, was in ruin.

Nabooru: Well, here goes. Rauru, open the gate to Hyrule...
Rauru: Of course. *Rauru attempts to open the door by muttering an incantaion*
Rauru: What? It isn't working... Maybe something is wrong with the temple? I shall use my powers as the sage of light, the only sage capable of this spell, to look into hyrule and see the temple.
OH, *****!!!
*everyone gasps*
Ruto: What's wrong?
Rauru: The temple is in ruins, and the gates between realms destroyes...
Saria: But then, how do we end this fued?*everyone pauses and thinks for about 5 seconds*
Everyone: LET US DO BATTLE!!!!!!

Narrator: So they fought forver, and ever, and ever... those sages have no life, do they?


THE END
Darunia: Hey, where's my rock sirloin???

Moved to Fan Fiction.

sorry about that. i though it would qualify for the 64 area, cause it has the sages. my bad.

Haha, that's actually rather entertaining.
Props to you, man!

Improve your grammar. I's are always capitalised, and you only need one exclamation point/question mark per sentence.

For example, ending a sentence with one question mark, one exclamation point, or one of each is acceptable as long as it used correctly (IE don't do something such as put an exclamation mark at the end of a question). However, ending a sentence with more than one of each is not acceptable. Remember, it's either one or none!

There are also several comma errors.

I suggest running this through a spellchecker.

Overall, I'd say this is pretty mediocre.

who do you think you are? a language arts teacher?
(if you are really an LA teacher, sorry)

lol heh, that was ok I guess. I agree with silver. You should watch out more for your grammar. Having the sages fight over who is more important sounds like a good idea, but you should've taken more time on this. It feels a little rushed and you could've worked a little more on the humor...

i had to leave for a scout meeting ,like, two minutes after i posted it!

Now, my little adoptee. :3
I guess the idea of this is pretty good, but you really should listen to the things what Silver said, and respect his opinion. Anyway he was helpful, really, and said you important and good things.
You received quite positive opinions as well, so be happy, and try to be better by taking others advice! Good luck! ;3

sorry pplz!

Originally Posted by Darkus Triforce

who do you think you are? a language arts teacher?
(if you are really an LA teacher, sorry)

I am not a Language Arts teacher, although tests show I am at University level English. I am, however, a grammar Nazi, and if you post things on the internet, you can expect grammar Nazis like me to pick out every last grammar mistake.

I'm not trying to put you down here, mate, I'm just giving you feedback on how you can improve as a writer.

*insert porky pig here* univer-sasi-ty, univer-sasi-ty... MOMMY!!!!!
and thank you very much!

Well I thought it was really cute. ^^ I liked it a lot. I'm typically a grammar Nazi too, but I could read this just fine. As long as it's readable, I really don't care. Anyway, that was a cute little story and I enjoyed it.

thank you, romanomnomnom!

That...was...hilarious! I do have a few pointers, being the critic I am, though. One, play scripts tend to have stage directions. You could put the "whispers to so-and-so" as "(whispering)" and include "(leaning in toward so-and-so)". This might be a little too technical though so only do it if you really feel like it. Two, just be careful with spelling and even spacing. It was pretty good, but there were a few spelling mistakes and a few more spacing errors, which made it a bit difficult to read. Other than that, this gets my full approval (a.k.a. 5 out of 5 stars)! Great effort! I would love to see more from you in the future!