Link had a bad day :[

"Link..I" whispered zelda,"You know we can never..be together..."Link stared at Zelda sitting on her jewel embroidered seat around with pics of all the Hylian heroes and Kings.
"Zelda..."said Link,"I will never forget you.." Link shuddered with fear and doubt.
"Link..you know its best if.. we pretend we never met...things will be much better." he felt as if a rope tightened his throat as he gritted his last words to zelda.
"Good..day..mam" Link turned around and walked out too fast for zelda to say anything back to him..he didnt want to know what she thought or said.He didnt care anymore..his heart was dreadfuly broken.....
He went back to Kokiri forest to break the news to Saria and everyone else that he and Zelda will never be.He avoided any cruel Kokiri's.He was not in the mood..not today.
"Link!!"Saria squealed,"how was it with you and Zelda??When is the wedding?? Ohh I cant wait!! flowers and roses cakes and..."
"SARIA!!!" Link yelled,"we are not to be wed.."His face drooped down.
"WHAT!!Why not!! is that princess crazy!!"Saria shrieked.But as she replied she lowered her tone...too many nosy Kokiri's were about to get up in their business."What happened Link?" She gave a nodding concern.
"She decided that she would rather marry a wealthy prince and live a life of luxuary.." Link snifled.
"Ugh!!what a snoty princess!!A life of luxuary!!I would give up any luxuaries in my life to be with you!!" snooted Saria
"Well..umn...I kinda think..its..umn...for the best." Link tried to be agreeable through his misery.
"I have a great idea Link!!" giggled Saria.
"What?" asked Link with a concerning look.
"We shall get married!!That will show that old stubborn princess!!" Link stared at Saria in shock and confusion...they were bff"s,but wouldnt that seem weird marrying someone you are totaly unattracted to(link thought)Then reality popped right back in his face.
"Soo what do ya say??Is it a yay or a nay."Saria asked anciously.
"Nay." said Link trying not to hurt his friends feelings too bad.
"WELL!!"Saria said,"No wonder why Zelda doesnt want you!!"she stamped off angrily.
Link just stood there for a few seconds then he walked to his tree were he lived.He took all his needy belongings.He left old pictures of everyone on his walls..they reminded him of his past...his journeys...his adventures.He slammed his wooden suitcase shut and took one last glance at the empty wooden room.He left slowly taking in every single memory.
Outside of Kokiri he grasped Epona and quietly rode out of Hyrule.To were he was going...he had no idea...all that he longed for was a trustworthy and faithful friend.Someone he could rely on and maybe love.Tears filled his eyes as he took his last glance at the land he saved from evil.
"good...bye." He winced keeping back dreary tears as he steered toward new worlds that were soo strange and new to him.The hero of time has left Hyrule...Forever....

poor link and good story are you gonna continuing it

DeviantLinkx, I can see that you've put in some thought to your story. What could have been a really wonderful oneshot about love gone wrong has been undermined by grammar, spelling, punctuation, and wording errors.

1) Paragraphing. Every 4-8 sentences, put a space in between each paragraph, and start a new paragraph. If it's a line of dialogue, just put a space in between each line.

2) Punctuation. You do not need multiple exclaimation marks at the end of a sentence- same with question marks. When you use an ellipses (...), it typically signifies that the character is trailing off in speech. Sometimes it is used when the narrator of the story is also trailing off, but with the way you've used it, you're trailing off Link's thoughts in the middle of description. Either separate the two or get rid of that sentence.

If you want to better emphasize a character exclaiming something, either bold or italicize the sentence. Oh, and you need to put in a space after every sentence. You should also do that after someone is speaking.

3) Spelling. This is a fanfiction, not an internet chatroom. The term "bff" has no place in a story. Find the proper term to use instead, or just don't use it at all. In fact, I found several instances where you mispelled words. Most word processors come with a spell checker; if you don't feel like using that, use this instead.

4) Description. Your story desperately needs it. All we have here is a bunch of well known faces and not a lot of imagery. Sure, you had some when Link was packing up his things, but beyond that, there is little else to go on. Details are what can make a story good or bad. When you write something, paint a picture in the reader's mind of what something looks like. Try and use the five senses in description as much as possible next time- sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.

5) Verbs. No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to shudder a sentence. When using dialogue, stick primarily with said. You can occasionally get away with a replied, whispered, muttered, ect, but anything beyond that throws readers off. Not only does it not flow well, but it looks quite silly. The same goes for asked.

6) Characterization. You had the right idea with making Link and Zelda angsty in the beginning, but you really took Saria out of character. Saria, being a kokiri, probably wouldn't understand the concept of marriage. As such, she likely wouldn't understand relationships either. With that in mind, she wouldn't be asking Link to marry her, or even speak to Link regarding that. I hardly see Saria as someone who would get angry at Zelda. She would have no understanding of what was going on between the two of them. I suggest you replay OoT to get a better idea of her character next time.

There are several resources online for help with grammar, but one of the biggest grammar books out there is The Elements of Style by Strunk and White. I've mentioned it to other readers, but it really is a great resource to have when it comes to double checking grammar. It is your annotated writing bible. Pick up a copy and study it.

Aside from all of this, this has a lot of potential. :3

It's too sad for a Zelink like me!!! link and zelda are supposed to be together!

so u had a bad day

but great story, i hope there will be more

I think Veyrael covered pretty much everything here.

Now this could be an entertaining little oneshot if you were to redo it and fix everything up (my ant-ZeLink stance notwithstanding), so don't give up on it. Improve your writing skills, (Veyrael suggested something, but I personally prefer Stephen King's On Writng myself.

sorry guys! I should of checked over my grammar and punctuation and stuff! I wrote it up on my deviantart account, and that doesn't have spell check or any of that fancy stuff.

It's really interesting but it does need some work. I like the idea, but try to be grammatical and stick to how the characters are. Most the stuff has already been said. I hope you keep writing.

I really like it but try to improve your grammer and add a bit more detail

awww how sad!

Please don't revive old threads.