a new comic idea

Originally Posted by Sir Calibur

Uh, me or him?

Project.

Heed these warnings, Project, lest you face the wrath of angry Zelda fans and canon nazis.

*Sighs*

Ok, maybe you just need general writing lesson then because most people will instantly turned off by the script format. I would recommend just tryin to imitate the writing style I used in my above story segment (you know, with descriptions and stuff). If you want to learn how to write, though, just try reading some stuff from some of the good writers on Fanfiction.net or Fictionpress.net.

Originally Posted by Sir Calibur

*Sighs*

Ok, maybe you just need general writing lesson then because most people will instantly turned off by the script format. I would recommend just tryin to imitate the writing style I used in my above story segment (you know, with descriptions and stuff). If you want to learn how to write, though, just try reading some stuff from some of the good writers on Fanfiction.net or Fictionpress.net.

The Elements of Style by Strunk and White is your annotated writing bible. Pick up a copy at your local bookstore, and read it. Seriously, read it, and possibly take notes. If people have to nitpick at grammar and spelling errors, no one is seriously going to read what you write. Granted, I've seen some funny Script Format stories out there, but those were eons past, when that was still a popular storytelling method.

You cannot hope to write anything good unless you actually learn how to write. Grammar and punctuation is your starting point.

Originally Posted by Veyrael

The Elements of Style by Strunk and White is your annotated writing bible. Pick up a copy at your local bookstore, and read it. Seriously, read it, and possibly take notes. If people have to nitpick at grammar and spelling errors, no one is seriously going to read what you write. Granted, I've seen some funny Script Format stories out there, but those were eons past, when that was still a popular storytelling method.

You cannot hope to write anything good unless you actually learn how to write. Grammar and punctuation is your starting point.

you people are mean i have never written a story like that before and i just need to practice i know but u don't need to tell me i can't write

No, we're not saying you can't write, we're saying you shouldn't use a script format. If you saw, use a basic style of writing similar to the chunk a posted on the previous page.

Originally Posted by phantomfan959

you people are mean i have never written a story like that before and i just need to practice i know but u don't need to tell me i can't write

Getting upset at us is going to get you nowhere. When you post something on the internet, you are implying that you want people to take a look at it and post their thoughts on the story. If you don't want to know what people think of your story, then don't post. It really is that simple.

With an attitude like that, you will never get any better. With that, I'm out.

Originally Posted by Sir Calibur

Uh, Phantom, if that story of yours was a serious attempt at a serious fanfic, that was pathetic. Don't use the script format for real stories.

Project Hyrule...I don't know how you can call that a chapter. There's hardly anything there. And your descriptions...wow, kind of lack luster. It will need some serious, serious work before you even think of getting it turned into a comic.”

ok 2 things 1)im working on improving it 2)i am not considering the comic thing

Uh, you know that comment was directed toward Project Hyrule, right? He wanted to have his story made into a comic.

Originally Posted by Sir Calibur

Uh, you know that comment was directed toward Project Hyrule, right? He wanted to have his story made into a comic.

sry accidentaly missed the project hyrule part

That was just the start of a chapter to let you guys get a feel for where im coming from there is still more . call it a teaser if u will.

Yeah, but we have been suggesting ways of improving what we've seen of it so far. You've got more potential though since you're not using script format. Work on your details and characterization though. And maybe your plot while you're at it. It still feels to generic to be interesting.

i rewrote the first chapter of my fan fic into a 3rd person but i lost my grammar in the reformat

Couldn't you just put it back in...?

no i could not its not a script format anymore and i dont have the script version with grammer

here is the other test piece. I used some of your ideas and suggestions
Project Hyrule
Story 2
Soldier Version

"Hey Link!" said a voice "Where you going?"
They asked.
Link turned around and saw Saria. "Oh I'm going to Hyrule Castle. Why?" Link said.
Saria was a Kokori child. Kokori children lived in Kokori Forest and wore green tunics. As a general Rule the males had bright orange hair and the gals had blonde. but saria has different. she had green hair that mathched her tunic.
"Just wondering." She said "Oh Link before you go can you do me a favor?"
Link was also part Kokori. But then again not even realy that. he was actualy a hylean was raised by the Kokori children.
Link looked at her and thought of all the times he had heard that and it had turned into a side quest. Navi useing the telepathic bond between her and Link said " Link you dork! Say yes you know how much you mean to her. Be nice. Or next time your attacked by somthing you dont know I wont help."
Link sighed. "Ok what do you need" he asked?


This has been a preview brought to you from Project.

Ok…now it seems you’re putting in a lot of unnecessary details. For instance, you don’t need to describe how the Kokiri look. Most people who read Zelda fanfiction already know that. Same goes for saying that they live in Kokiri Forest. The whole paragraph describing that and their appearance could be replaced by something more useful if you can think of anything to add in. But remember, only described what needs to be described. Take this line for instance:

Jake plopped down on the barstool and swiveled around the face the barkeep. “Gimme a Corona!” he demanded, he speech slurred.

I don’t describe what the stool is like that Jake sat down on, that would be a waste of time. Everyone can imagine what that looks like and describing it would only artificially lengthen the line.

true true. ill remember that and finish the chapter. so which start you guys like? personaly i think with a little work the second one could be the better one

sorry computer crashed and cant post story wait till next week not that any one seems to care