The Legend of Link: 100 Years?! ('The Chase' chapter)

[LinkThatRemains]

(This is my first time writing a Fan Fic of Zelda....no....any category. So please read and enjoy!)

The Chase

It was a fine day, very hot. The sweat on his face ran down faster than he can run. Link, already finished with his goat herding chores, ran to his home. As he passed by the Mayor, he waved a quick bye and sped along the trail. He climbed the ladder, burst through the door and frantically looked around. He searched under his bed. Nothing. Main room. Nothing. There was only one place to look for his Wooden Sword. The basement. He grabbed his Lantern and climbed down to the dark basement. Lighting up his lantern, he waved it around, making sure it wouldn't run out soon. First, he walked to the left and searched over the dusty items scattered across the table. He sighed and ran to the other side of the basement. He found the chest where he usually put the Wooden Sword, and gently took it out of the chest. He closed the chest and climbed out of the basement. He put out the lantern and hanged it on a hook. Then he exited his home and jumped down the ladder. Three young kids watched as he trained on the scarecrow-like dummy.

"Hey Link! Are you trying to learn a new move or something?" Screamed one of the children.

Link simply shook his head as he jump attacked the dummy's head, bursting the pumpkin replaced as a head.

"Um...Link. Do you think I can try out the sword?" Colin, the middle aged out of the three, stepped up to Link and Link suddenly stopped. He wiped his forehead with his woven shirt. Then he handed it to Colin, and with a smile, Colin swipped away at the dummy. Link stepped back as he watched Colin train.

"Ok Colin, it's my turn!" The tallest young child walked toward Colin and Colin didn't stop swinging.

"No! I'm still training! You're just a girl, so why should you train?" Colin shot back.

Link rolled his eyes and spotted a grey figure moving violently atop a tree, then jumped to the one closest to the two fighting kids. The monkey jumped down, snatched the sword away from Colin, and took off faster than an arrow.

Colin and the child stood frozen. "HEY! THAT'S MINE!" The both shouted at the same time. They too shot off after the monkey.

"Well, I guess we have to go after them, right Link?" The smallest one said. "....Link?"

He ran as fast as he could going after the kids. Suddenly, he stumbled against a rock and got knocked out. All he could heard was the violent screams in the distance, and everything else faded away.....

[zelda1994]

I think its weel written but you are missing some adjetives and i dont think a period goes here:

He searched under his bed. Nothing. Main room. Nothing.

.Also, it kind of looks like a twilight princess parody at the start..

[Tazryl]

First off... reading dark blue on a even darker background is just painful. Had to switch my color scheme to just read it. Now the screen is to birght.

Secondly, I think Link should talk. Unless this Fanfic was created for the purpose of mocking Link's silence. Its up to you whether or not he talks or not. I just think he should talk. Another annoying thing is Collin's attitude, completely unlike that of the game. This is another thing that is up to, but as a fan of Collin I detest this change.

Link simply shook his head as he jump attacked the dummy's head, bursting the pumpkin replaced as a head.

Well I suppose there might not be anything wrong with it. I think it could be stronger if you said.

Link simply shook his head as he jump attacked the dummy, bursting it's pumpkin head.

Shorter and to the point. *shrugs* well I think its better.

Also Zelda1994, it IS a TP parody.