04-21-2008, 08:34 PM
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Goron
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 293
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The Legend of Zelda: Total Linkage
My turn at a Parody...
Prologue… Random Voice: Long, long, ago, the land of Hyrule fell into a deep darkness. All the land was controlled by a humongous pig that had the power of darkness, lightning and rolling which came in handy when he took over the muddy swamps of the Duku. Anyway, when hope was lost, a boy clothed in green garb appeared and confronted Gannon. The boy ended up nearly dead crying in pain on the floor. The pig thought he won but the boy had one more trick up his sleeve… Link: Hey Pig Look! Gannon: What? *Turns around* Link: *Stabs Gannon in the back of the head* Gannon: Ouch… That was mean *Dies* Link: SUCCESS! Random Voice: So anyway after the land of Hyrule returned back to normal Link headed into Castle Town for a big festival or something in his name… Link: I defeated Gannon guys! Time for celebration! Villager 1: Shun the cheater Charlie… Charlie: Shhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn Villager 2: Shuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnn Villager 1: Shuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnn Random Voice: And that’s how it went on, since he didn’t beat Gannon fairly nobody loved link… not even Elmo. Anyway, centuries went by and a new Link was born, but he was also shunned, because he was a descendent of the old cheater. And so this continued for 10 generations… Then, when people found out that half of the Gerudo population were illegally imported Mexicans everyone lost interest in the Link descendents and moved on. More years passed… and the evil returned… ~~ Gannondorf: *Enters Hyrule Castle* Guard: Halt in the name of the Royal Family… Please state your business Gannondorf: Well I’m the delivery boy for Pizza Hut, and I’ve come to deliver a pizza to the scared items hidden away in the castle… Can you show me to them? Guard: Well I’m not really suppose to… Gannondorf: I have candy! Guard: OMFG CANDY! Right this way kind sir. Guard: *Shows Gannondorf where the scared items our hidden* Gannondorf: *Gets Shown* Guard: And they’re right through that door! Now what candy do you have! Gannondorf: Jaw Breakers! Guard: Oh goody!!!! Gannondorf: * Reaches for pocket then Punches Guard in the jaw* Guard: *Falls to ground in pain* Wow you missed your pocket completely… you must have some real “butter fingers”. Ha, Ha… *Passes out* Gannondorf: Time for my “pay day”… *Blast open door and “snickers” Random Voice: That’s four candy puns in three lines… stop it you “Nerds”… Sorry couldn’t resist…. Please continue. Gannondorf: *Walks over to pedestal with a glowing orb… Zelda: Stop Fiend! *Jumps in front of pedestal with 5 knights* Gannondorf: No… I don’t feel like it, what are you going to do to stop me! Guard 2: He has a point. Zelda: Shut up… Oh wait I know… I’ve seen how to stop him on Nick Jr.! Guard 4: Nick Jr… Zelda: Yeah Watch! *Puts out hand* Gannon no swiping! Gannon no swiping! GANNON NO SWIPING! Gannondorf: Tough **** princess! *Blasts everyone with thunder bolts* Zelda: Dang you Nick Jr. Betrayed me again… I am migrating over to Playhouse Disney! Guard 3: So what are we going to do? We can’t beat Gannondorf alone… Zelda: Well there is a show on Playhouse Disney Called Higgly Town Heroes… Maybe stuff from that show will help us… *In Song* Someone Special who could it be? Guard 5: This job’s to big for you and me… Guard 1: We need some help but never fear-o… All: This looks like a job… For a Hyrule Town Hero! Room: … Zelda: … Um Link was suppose to magically appear out of no where and sing and defeat Gannondorf… Gannondorf: Phail… You lost princess! Zelda: *Sob* Link! Where the hell are you! Random Voice: Miles away at the Milk Bar Link: Hic! Another cold one Bill! ~~ Bill the Bartender: Hey Link… Link wake up! Link: Zzzzzz Bill: Please get up… Link: Zzzz Bill: Link you better get the **** up or I’ll **** You To **** Where you will **** with my **** Mother in law … **** Link: … Wha? Haz I brought *Hic* Sexz back yetz? Bill: Ugh… *Drags Link out of the bar by his feet* Link: *Falls back asleep* Random Voice: Hey I’ve seen this story before but where… Conker: Me too… But where?
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04-21-2008, 09:19 PM
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#2 |
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the cake is a lie!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: retaking the Black Pearl
Posts: 240
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... welll, um... It needs a tittle for the chapter xD heh, that's just me trying to find something bad to start with (I always start with the bad things). I cant really find anything bad about this chapter. It's so funny! This looks like it's going to be a really good parody (who knows, maybe someday you'll make Grass fear you xD). This chapter/prologue/whatever the hell you wanna call it was great. One thing I must say though...
Quote:
I'll give it a 4/5. This parody looks great so far, DONT SCREW UP! xD (my way of saying good luck) One final thing: when you said "my turn at a parody" does that mean this is your first parody? |
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04-22-2008, 08:07 PM
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#3 |
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Gerudo Thief
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: An attic in Russia.
Posts: 71
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Great beginning to what will definitely grow into a very funny parody. I liked pretty much all of the jokes and references. The only thing I would say to stay away from is racial comments, as Trickster has pointed out. People get offended by that, so keep it that part only to the "Director's Cut." Er, the lunch table.
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Morgan Freeman? You mean the guy with the crowbar? |
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04-22-2008, 08:54 PM
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#4 |
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Goron
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 293
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Thanks for the comments guys. This chapter will mark the last racist joke... Hopefully. Anyway Enjoy, not as long as the last one but the third one will be longer!
Chapter 1: “Wait this isn’t Final Fantasy” Random Voice: The Next Day… Link: Jeez, that was one nasty hang over… Cell Phone: *Dings* Link: Oh I have a message… Phone Message: Link Help Me… I’m Trapped and… Link: *Slams Phone* Again… Seriously what will be different this time? Link: Well First I need to go get my usual Crap… *Link Heads to Lon Lon Ranch and bar, and finds the ranch owners daughter on a stripper’s pole* Link: Um’ Excuse me Miss… Malon: Well, Howdy Dowdy Howdy Doo… Link: Um Hi? Malon: Well what can I get’cha Partner? Link: Um I’m looking for a horse… And do you always talk like that? Malon: Are you being racist against my type… I’m sorry I’m not like your damn city folk with their cement buildings and lamps… Link: No I’m not, now how about that horse… Malon: Sure… Wait I know you, your that no good rotten apple, cheater Link: Well actually I’m a decedent of him... Malon: Same thing! I don’t want to see you around my parts again! Epona get him! Epona: *Gets on hind legs and kicks Link out of the area* Random Voice: And so the day went on, the same as that. Link being recognized and shunned by everyone he needed to start the quest. He was now at a loss with nothing to help him continue on… Cell Phone: *Rings* Link: Hello? Sale’s Person: Hello little boy are your Mommy and Daddy there? Link: Hey! Mommy told me not to talk to you people you creepy Stalker… Sale’s Person: Stalker? I just want to sell you something Link: What do you have? Sale’s Person: Well I see your needing some Rpg crap Link: Rpg crap? This isn’t Final Fantasy… and wait how did you know I need stuff like that… Bush: *Rustles* Sale’s Person: Um… Lucky guess! It’s not like I’m hiding in a bush or anything… Link: Oh ok! So where can I come buy this stuff? Sale’s Person: Secretly come to 3523 Drury Lane and tap three times on the back door of the left building. Then say, “ Do you say the Muffin man?” Link: “Do I Know the muffin man?” Sale’s Person: Yes… Now come and we'll help you… for a price *Hangs Up* Link: Mommy was wrong, these guys are nice people. Anyway I should start cutting things for some extra cash. I might be needing it… *Starts Slicing Things* Bush: Get’s Sliced Sale’s Person: *Dies* Link: Ew… Who puts a sliced body in a bush?
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04-27-2008, 01:01 PM
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the cake is a lie!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: retaking the Black Pearl
Posts: 240
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Well, this wasnt as good as the other one, but still pretty funny. The cellphone thing sounds kinda familiar... um... I cant remember where I saw it... oh wait I remember, I was using that joke in a parody I was writting with a friend (prince deity's fs link in mm parody) but just decided to discontinue it! Great minds think alike huh mate? xD oh and I really loved the sales man thing. If only it could be that easy to get rid of them in real life...
You know what this parody needs... NAVI!!! I'll give this chapter a 3.5/5
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If you thought Navi was annoying, wait 'till you hear this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPxY8lpYAUM click if you dare... 98% of the people who post they're on the 2% of something on their signatures do it because they think it looks cool. If you're of the 98% of the people who thinks being on the 2% to look cool isn't cool, copy and paste this on your signature. |
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