(Com) The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker: A Parody [T]

[Adam_148]

I've seen a few of these, and I thought I would try my hand at it, here are the first two chapters, Read and review.

Chapter 1
Aryll: Hoy, Big Brother!
Link: *Wakes up* Aaaaaaaaaaargh! Don’t creep up on me like that, you creepy creeper-person you!
Aryll: O…K, well, do you know what day it is?
Link: …Um, Tuesday?
Aryll: No, it’s Wednesday, and your birthday.
Link: Oh, is that all, well, let me go back to sleep… wait a second… *begins thinking*… BIRTHDAY! Woohoo! *Begins punching air above his head* Present time!
Aryll: Actually, no.
Link: *Stops in mid-air punch* … what? *Eye begins to twitch* Why not?
Aryll: Well, Grandma spent all the Rupees we were going to buy your presents with on gin and soup mix.
Link: … Noooooooooooooo! Life isn’t worth living anymore! I shall throw myself from this very high place you call a lookout, when not even the scurviest pirate type person would recommend this place to his friends.
Aryll: *Eyebrow raised* Thanks. Anyway, Grandma wants to see you, don’t get hurt, remember the last time she was hung over, and she thought that the bruise on my left arm was a pig, and she started smacking my arm with a stick.
Link: Vividly. *Link jumps* Goodbye cruel world! *Crash* Owww.
Aryll: *Looks over side of lookout* You still alive?
Link: Unfortunately.
Aryll: Well, go to Grandma, she has something to give you.
Link: I thought you said she didn’t get me anything, on account of her being alcoholic.
Aryll: Hey, I said she didn’t buy you anything, I didn’t say she didn’t get you anything.
Link: *Begins swimming towards Grandma’s house because it’s faster that way* Why do I have a sense of terrible foreboding?

Chapter 2
Link: Now, I’m out of the filthy salty sea water, I’ll go to Grandma’s, and if I remember rightly, the only reason I was out there last night is because when Grandma gets drunk, she not only thinks I’m grandpa, she also thinks she is a teenager. *Shudders* But, I could be wrong; the fumes of the alcohol could have had an unknown affect on my mind. *Opens front door* Grandma, I’m home! Where are you? Did you get stuck up there again? You know you’re not allowed to climb ladders anymore!
Grandma: Come up here, Link, I’ve got something to show you.
Link: This doesn’t sound good. Umm, no, that’s OK Grandma, I’d rather live.
Grandma: Come up here now, or face the wrath of an irritated old lady with two kids to look after because their parents decided to go on a world tour and not come back!
Link: OK, OK, I’m coming *climbs ladder* Now Grandma, what is… *sees empty drinks bottles* Oh Din, Grandma, how much did you drink?
Grandma: Never mind that now, I’ve got something to give you, now as Aryll may have told you, I spent a bit too much of the money I was going to buy your presents with on gin, soup and toys for Aryll.
Link: She didn’t mention the toys, if they were expensive; I am going to be so pissed.
Grandma: They were.
Link: Damn. So, uh, what did you want to give me?
Grandma: Well, last night, I wandered out of the house because Aryll was at Zill’s and Joel’s, and you were in that treehouse thing.
Link: Who are Zill and Joel?
Grandma: That weird kid who hasn’t heard of tissues and his brother, the one with the stick, they follow you around like lost puppies.
Link: Oh yeah.
Grandma: Well, I wandered out of the house in my drunken state, and fell into a bush, when I had pulled myself together; I found your present under a bush.
Link: *Now interested* Present?
Grandma: These clothes, which are supposed to look like the Hero of Time’s clothes, but chances are these couldn’t protect you from the weakest of bad guys.
Link: Thanks for the vote of support Grandma.
Grandma: Shut up, take your clothes. *Gives Hero’s clothes to Link*
Da da da daaaaaa! You got the stupid Hero’s clothes that Grandma found under a bush. They smell of alcohol, but I’d put them on or Grandma will get angry, and who knows what she’ll do then.
Grandma: What the hell?
Link: I don’t know.
Grandma: Well, whatever, go find Aryll.
Link: For my birthday party?
Grandma: No, I want her to clean up all these empty bottles, what on earth has that girl been drinking?
Link: Uh, Grandma, those bottles are yours…
Grandma: NO THEY’RE NOT! NOW GO GET ARYLL, OR I WILL KILL YOU!
Link: Aaaargh! *Runs screaming from house*

[72hours192]

Oooookaaaaayy...

[Adam_148]

^ is that a good ok or a bad one?

[Layton]

Hehehe...
That's funny!
I like how Grandma's drunk, keep up the funny stuff!

[Adam_148]

And here is chapter three

Chapter 3
Link: *Climbs up ladder to lookout faster than a speeding monkey* ARYLL!
Aryll: Calm down. What?
Link: You made Grandma buy you stuff with the money that was supposed to buy ME stuff for my birthday, now all I’ve got are these stupid itchy hot clothes.
Aryll: Sorry, *doesn’t look sorry* well, I suppose I can get you to borrow my telescope.
Link: No way, I don’t want your stupid, GIVE IT!
Aryll: Alright, alright, keep your elf cap on.
Link: Hey, don’t mock the elf cap.
Aryll: Just take the damn telescope.
Da da da daaaaaa! You got Aryll’s goofy baby telescope. With it, you can see far, far away, but are you sure you want to?
Aryll: Why the hell did you lift it above your head, and who said my telescope was goofy?
It wasn’t me… oh crap… um, never mind!
Link: Grandma wants to see you now.
Aryll: I don’t care, she can rot in hell for ten minutes, and I’ve got to teach you the proper way to use the telescope first.
Link: Aryll, it’s a telescope, all I have to do is look through the smaller end, and move the larger end further away from me to zoom in.
Aryll: Well, if you’re so clever, look at the post box, you might be getting some birthday cards, so you’ll probably see Grandma raiding them for your birthday money.
Link: OK, looking now. *Adjusts telescope towards post box*
Aryll: Hey look, it’s the postman, he looks kinda funny.
Link: Don’t be racist; he probably thinks you look funny too. Hey, he’s looking at something in the sky.
Aryll: Well, why don’t you look at what he’s looking at?
Link: OK. *Adjusts telescope, and sees a big bird carrying an insanely hot girl* OMG!
Aryll: What?
Link: IT’S A GIANT PARROT!
Aryll: What’s it carrying?
Link: An insanely hot girl, and, wait, what the heck?
Aryll: What?
Link: Large black spheres are flying towards it from… that pirate ship over there!
Aryll: PIRATES! OH NOES, WE IS GOING TO BE KILLEDZ BY THE PIRATESES!
Link: Shut up, you neurotic nut, why, I’d slap ya if you weren’t a girl.
Aryll: Yippee for me.
Link: Hey, one of the large grey spheres hit the parrot, and it dropped the insanely hot girl into the forest.
Aryll: Well, she’s doomed now, let’s go home to Grandma, and pretend this never happened.
Link: No, you don’t let a girl that hot perish in a forest, it’s just unnatural, no hot girl deserves to die in a creepy forest.
Aryll: OK, whatever, but you’ll need something to defend yourself with.
Link: To old man Orca’s place! *Jumps from lookout* Owww.

[zeldace6400]

hehe... i like it
tetra being insanely hot lol

[Adam_148]

and I still haven't got past the first 10 minutes of the game
edit: new chapter

Chapter 4
Link: *Goes towards guy on ground, and stops* OK, I know it might sound odd, but, what the hell are you doing?
Guy on Ground: That’s a pig over there *nods in a general direction*
Link: *Looks in said general direction* Yes, yes it is, why are you looking at a pig?
GoG: I’m thinking of catching that pig for my wife.
Link: You want to get a pet, and you are getting a pig?
GoG: Yeah, why not? Hey, could you catch that pig for me, all you have to do is crawl towards it, and grab it. My wife would pay you.
Link: Pay, hmmm? Let me go and see Orca, and I’ll think about it.
GoG: Thanks Link!
Link: Just a question, why are you getting your wife a pig? Because I have heard that people get pets that look like them, are you trying to imply to your wife that she is fat?
GoG: *stares at Link*…hey, I just noticed that…
Link: OK, goodbye then.
GoG: Thanks Link.
Link: *walks away* *under breath* Weirdo *walks past Orca’s and Sturgeon’s house*
Sturgeon: Hey Link! L-target me!
Link: *Yells* Sturgeon, for the last time! L-targeting only happens in video games, you have to stop playing those Legend of Zelda games, they’re not real!
Ironic Silence
Link: Whatever *walks into Orca’s part of the house* Hey Orca! I need a sword!
Orca: Hyaaaaaah! I am not Orca! I am crouching cucco, hidden moblin!
Link: And I am, in need of a, sword. Have you been watching those Kung Fu movies again?
Orca: … Maybe.
Link: Dude, just give me a sword and some lessons.
Orca: What’s in it for me?
Link: …ummm, the pride of helping a young plucky boy with a dream involving hot babes and pointy swords?
Orca: *doesn’t appear to be buying it* … DEAL!
Link: OK, gimme the lessons!
Orca: OK.