My OOT parody

[heroman]

Chapter 1

Narrattor: We begin with Links dream...

Link: Hey where am I why is it all dark? Hey princess!
Zelda: Get away Link you idiot Ganons coming to kill you!
Link: Huh?
Ganon: Prepare to die Link!
Link: Dang I only came here to buy some bread and now I'm going to die!
Ganon: (shoots orb)
Link: AAAAH!

Narrator: Now the Deku Tree is talking to Navi

Deku Tree: Art thou going to goest to Links house to help him?
Navi: Why should I listen to you, you old-english speaking tree?
Deku Tree: Why you little! I wish I could strangle you!
Navi: But you don't have hands Homer Simpson imatator!
Deku Tree: Forgot it. Jost go to Links house.

Narrator: Now Navi is flying to Links house and ends up hitting a fence.

Navi: Stupid fence made my head hurt!
Navi: LINK YOU FAT LAZY KID WAKE UP!
Link: Stupid Fairy! (Strangles Navi).
Navi: But you need to save Hyrule! *choke*
Link: (stops strangling) I don't need to save Hyrule! Leave it to someone else!
Navi: Listen Link, the game can't countinue until you say yes.
Link: What game?
Navi: Who knows? You may be able to slash some cuccos.
Link: I LOVE SLASHING CUCCOS! Lets go!
Navi: That was easy...

Narrator: Now Link runs up to Mido.

Link: Let me through you jerk!
Mido: Sorry, but you can't get past, boy without a fairy!
Link: For your infomation, I have one!
Mido: The Deku Tree let you have one? Still, you must have a sword and sheild.
Link: I hate you! (strangles Mido)
Mido: *choke* If you want to live against the monsters, find the sword! Its beyond the hole! *choke*
Link: (stops strangling) Okay...

Narrator: Link finds the hole and goes through it.

Link: Okay so I have to get through the maze. Simple enough. AAAAH! A rock! (Runs)
Link: Hey a treasure chest! It contains...a rupee?! Wheres the sword?
Navi: HEY! Its over there!
Link: I got the sword! Now to find the sheild!

Narrator: Link walks into the shop.

Shopkeep: You'll need 40 rupees!
Link: Give it to me! (Unseaths sword) Or else you will die! After all, I'm only trying to save the world from desruction!
Shopkeep: OKAY! Here it is!
Link: I got it! Now to see the tree!

[heroman]

Chapter 2

Deku Tree: Link, art thou ready to gost inside and fing the evil that has cursed me?
Link: Yeah, but first learn how to speak proper english!
Deku Tree: Just get in!
Link: Whoa! All this stuff can exist in a tree?
Navi: Apparently, you need to go up to the door.
Link: Dang, I hope there is a computer in this tree. Then I could go to gamefaqs and find out how to get through this dungeon!

Narrator: Link fights the Deku Shrub.

Link: Stop running away!
Navi: HEY!!!
Link: Oooooow! You make my ears hurt!!
Navi: You need to slash him with your sword!
Link: I know!
Navi: HEY!!!
Link: What now?
Navi: Slash him! Aren't you listening?!

Narrator: Much later...

Link: Finally! I got the slingshot!
Navi: HEY!!! Set it to C!
Link: Stop saying hey!
Navi: HEY!!! Snap that web in half!
Link: Stop! This is not amusing!

(to be countinued)

[Link20045]

Now, I just want to be clear on something, because this is becoming problem on these boards. Do you want honest, but friendly and constructive criticism, so that you can improve where you need it and be praised where you have earned it?

[heroman]

Originally Posted by Link20045

Now, I just want to be clear on something, because this is becoming problem on these boards. Do you want honest, but friendly and constructive criticism, so that you can improve where you need it and be praised where you have earned it?

What do you mean?

[Malo and Talo]

Link means that if you're willing to take critism without freaking out like other authors do, he'll give you some. We gave another author some critism and he completely flipped out- so if you just want to write and you're convinced it's already good and don't want to change anything, that's cool. But if you want verteran authors and critics to help you make it better, that's even cooler. So it's completely up to you, heroman.

[heroman]

I accept critism.

[William]

alrighty...the first chapter has no point. The "jokes" aren't funny. Also, there are several grammatical errors. Type it out in Microsoft Word, then transfer it here.

Edit: I just read, and chapter two means nothing as well! Woo!