[com]PH Parody[T]

[LinebeckTheGood]

Okay heres the deal. Someone (or no one) may have realised I have been off the forums for a while now (about three weeks if your intrested, which you aren't). This is 30% because of school, 20% because of camp, and 50% because I'm lazy. So I thought I'd write something for ZU. 20% because I'm bad at serious fiction, 80% because I'm lazy, it's a script-format parody.

NO!!! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!

Sorry, but I wanted to write this for ZU and everyone on it. So, before you start saying:

NO!!! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!

plese take your time to read my parody. It is on Phantom Hourglass, which I believe has not been done before. If you don't find it funny (and you probably won't) that's okay. I'm no stand-up comedian (well, I'm sitting down aren't I?). When your saying how bad it is (which you will) try to use constructive critism.
Oh and this is rated (T) for teen, so I would sugest people over the age of 10 read it. Now lets begin.
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Our story begins not long ago…
There was a young girl, savvy to the seas and head of a band of pirates
Her name was Tetra.
She was…wait what is this?
Oi! Keep saying the story!
But I’m not saying this rubbish! I don’t even know what “brash” means!
I don’t care! Just continue.
Oh what ever.
She was pretty *cough* sarcasm *cough*
I heard that!
Well I mean come on! She is not beautiful at all!
I don’t care! Just say it!
Well I guess she’s pretty compared to Chewbacca!
Han thinks I’m beautiful.
...
…
Roar! *runs away*
Please continue…
Okay…
She was pretty, brash, whatever that means…
For God’s sake! Look it up in the dictionary!
Okay whatever…
Let’s see b…
Now where’s br…
Are here we go! It means to be hasty and stubborn, and…Okay. Now that you know what it means, get on with it!
Whatever, oh and that describes her perfectly.
*Rolls eyes*
She was pretty, brash, and brave *snorts*
Tetra and her handsome band of pirates set out to explore the vast seas.
One day at a stop at an island, Tetra met… Wait “met”? Link was saving her from the Hermlock!
So what? This is just a short intro, it does not matter.
Whatever.
Tetra met a young boy dressed in what apparently was a tunic…
Get on with it!
After a series of unfortunate events…
Get on with it!
The two began sleeping together…
Get on with it!
Later, they found old ruins, which were called Hyrule, but this could not be bothered to be entered into the script…
Get on with it!
Look! Now you’re just copying Monty Python!
I. Don’t. Care. Just say the damn script!
All right. Calm down. Calm down. I’ll say it.
Light enveloped Tetra, and she transformed into a beautiful princess.
She was Princess Zelda of the kingdom of Hyrule.
But then an ominous king suddenly appeared! His name was Gannondorf, but that could not be bothered put in the script either.
Niko!!!
Okay, okay calm down I’m saying it.
The boy chased him down, hoping to rescue the princess.
Then a lot of crap with a talking boat and a triangle thing happened.
Shut Up!!! Just say the script!!!
Okay, okay.
Finally the boy killed the loving crap out of Gannondorf and saved Zelda.
Bloody hell shut up!
Alright! I’ll shut up.
Later, they set out together with the band of pirates in search of a new Hyrule. Yes they set out together! A happy pirate ending.
But this short of it was really bad. So if you want to hear the story better, why not play the Wind Waker?
GAH!!!

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Chapter 1: on the pirate ship

Niko: So wasn’t that a crap intro? And these paper cut outs are real bad! Hey! Link! You sleeping on deck?

Link: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Niko: You know saying “z” doesn’t make you asleep.

Mario: *claps* Mamamia! That-a was the best-a story I-a ever heard!

Link: *pretends to wake up* Yawn, oh hey Niko, what’s going on? Did you slam the toilet seat on you’re… Wait who’s that?

Mario: It’s-a me Mario! Surely you know-a me. I’m-a Nintendo’s star, mascot and best-a ever character!

Niko: And you’re trespassing on our ship.

Mario: Oh-a I’m-a sorry about that. Hey-a wait why-a are you surrounding-a me? Why-a are you moving a-me towards the edge of the ship? Why-a you pushing me-a against the railing. Why-a are you-a pushing me-a off the… AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Water: Splash.

Link: Shut up water, you can’t talk.

Water: Oh right. Sorry about that.

Tetra: *lands beside them*

Link: Awww, crap.

Tetra: Ouch my legs! @$%!&#! hell that hurt. What are you two doing standing around? Your meant to looking out for that @$%!&#! Ghost Ship!

Niko: What? You never told us to do that!

Tetra: …Er yeah I didn’t but your both are being @$%!&#! stupid anyway!

Link: And that’s a problem how?

Pirate #2: What’s-your-name! We’ve reached that place you wanted to get to!

Tetra: For God’s sake my @$%!&#! name is Tetra, er, what’s your name again?

Pirate #2: Pirate #2.

Tetra: I @$%!&#! new that! Now where is this @$%!&#! Phantom Ship …

Link: It’s Ghost Ship.

Tetra: That’s what I @$%!&#! said!

Niko: Now, Tetra may I ask you a question?

Tetra: NO!

Niko: Okay thanks; tell me, why are we looking for a ship that will surely kill us?

Tetra: I don’t @$%!&#! Know. I just @$%!&#! feel like it!

Pirate #1: Un, wouldn’t that duh, er, spirit dude the Ocean Queen protect us?

Link: It’s Ocean King.

Pirate #1: Duh, isn’t dat what I, er, said?

Pirate #3: Captain! There is an unknown ship approaching 2 hours away. They’re hailing us!

Link: Shut up you Star Trek freak.

Niko: And it’s not 2 hours away, I can already see it!

Tetra: Both of you shut up!!! I give the @$%!&#! orders around here!

Link: *thinking* Jack ass.

Niko: *thinking* Donkey.

Fog: *Surrounds ship*

Niko: Ahhh! Fog!

Fog: We have you surrounded! Come out of the ship with your hands up.

Pirate #1: Duh… We didn’t do nothin’.

Fog: Save it for the judge!

Ghost Ship: *pulls up beside pirate ship*

Unknown person on Ghost Ship: Fog! Stand down! I’ll take care of this lot.

Fog: Okay boss. *unsurrounds Pirate Ship*

Tetra: Hmmm… The leader of the Fog is on that @$%!&#! Ghost Ship… I’ll go and talk to him and see if he will drop the @$%!&#! charges. He may need a bribe. *steals a rupee out of Link’s pocket and jumps over to Ghost Ship*

Link: Hey! That’s my rupee!

Tetra: HOLY %?#!

Pirate #3: Gasp! They’ve captured her!

Link: *jumps onto railing of Pirate Ship* Why did you say “gasp”?

Pirate #3: I don’t know… Ahhh! They’re taking her clothes off!!!

Niko: I knew getting you that telescope was a bad idea.

Ghost Ship: *starts pulling away*

Niko: Link! Where are you going?

Link: To get my rupee back! *jumps towards Ghost Ship but misses and grabs the edge*

Band: *starts playing evil organ music*

Davy Jones: *comes to side of ship* Muhahahahahaha!

Link: Gasp! Awww crap, now I’m doing it.

Davy Jones: Muhahahaha! *swipes at Link’s hands with his sword*

Link: *lets go* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *falls into water*

Water: Ouch!

Davy Jones: Muhahahaha. *coughs* Gah! Got to do something about that cough…

End of Chapter 1





Now remember Constructive critism.

[Jeaulm]

not bad, coulda made the intro a bit better, (without the get on with it... that was kinda boring.) but other than that and the script format, its pretty good.

[LinebeckTheGood]

Since what you said was constructive, and you got the first post, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Yeah... didn't think the intro would come out to good... Meh. At least you said it was pretty good. So I shall continue writing!!!

[72hours192]

LOL. I liked the creepy organ music, but when the organ played that nice song that always plays when Link does something epic in the game...that was better. And why do the inanimate objects talk?!

[LinebeckTheGood]

Originally Posted by 72hours192

And why do the inanimate objects talk?!

Spoiler (Highlight to read):

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They talk because they want to, but Link always tells them to stop. But they don't listen. This will happen through-out the adventure.

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