(ZGen/Adv/Rom)Legend of Link II: Adventure of Caleb[T]

Sorry I just re-read it I was just confused that Lucia got teleported there.

I've recently started writing a story based off of Firah's character. Many of his experiences are the same, except it doesn't happen in Legend of Zelda terms. In other words, some of my characters are so developed in my mind that I'm gonna make them have their own original story which I will, one day, publish. Some things are gonna be different, but you'll still recognize them.

Now about this story. I probably shoulda thought out the timing better, cuz currently they have so much time and so little to do. I've slightly remedied that in ch.11, but...meh, I'll think of something. It's also getting hard to remember that Eleah can't say "Malon" unless she's the only one who can hear him. If you spot him going against his Censor Spell, please tell me, lol. And if Laura does magic, or has magic done to her, also report that impossibility. Pretty much, I've noticed a lot of forgetfullness on my part, so help me whenever I slip up, 'kay?
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Chapter 10

The living room was now very crowded. Laura, Paul, Sara, Lucia, Cole, Hannah, Caleb, Qn. Zelda, Prs. Zelda, Anju, Kafei, Jill, Kate, Mikau, the Deku Princess, and Dark Link were stuffed in, more sofas summoned to accommodate them all. Dark Link stood in the middle, pacing.

"Evol'll probably want to send Sutar into one of the few races left for us to search. The Zoras of Termina, the Gerudo Pirates, and the people in Ikana. He won't attack the Hylians or Clocktown, since they're our headquarters of sorts. He'll expect us to stake claim to those places. So, Hannah, how many people do you have left to find?"

"If Termina's Gorons are also out of the picture...about twenty-one. Termina's Zoras don't have many warriors, and Ikana's still a developing region, so if there's anyone to search there, they'll be descended from Clocktown's residents."

"Overall, that should be...fifty-four to check before we know who it is, excluding Caleb, Mikau, and...what is your name, by the way?" Dark Link asked the Deku Princess.

"Sally."

"Sally? That's a Deku name?"

"Of course it is. I don't know what you were expecting..."

"Oh yeah, Termina's different... Anyway, in all there're fifty-seven possible White Wizards. That should take a few days then..."

"Why are we waiting?" Laura asked. "Why don't you hurry up and get that out of the way?"

"Cuz putting one person in the Dark Realm takes a bit over a month to prepare for. Putting more than one, on the other hand...almost two. We can't risk sending only one to find out it's the wrong one, so we're gonna narrow it down as much as possible, and send them all. I haven't heard from Eleah, so I don't know if he's been captured yet. But we have to proceed as if he has. In which case, we should just make it, no matter how quickly we find them."

"So why not get it out of the way?" Zelda agreed with Laura, half out of spite.

Dark Link looked at her, puzzled. "I thought I explained this already. Evol expects our search to be much broader than it is. He doesn't know what the Prophecy said, and he can't sense people like I can. He doesn't know we won't search in Hyto. Thus, he might waste time attacking here. If, however, he finds out that Hyto houses none of the candidates, he will do exactly what we're trying to prevent. Plus, we have to extend every possible courtesy towards the other races."

Neither Zelda nor Laura could see how that answered the question, but they decided to ask him later.

"In the meantime?" Mikau yawned.

"Rest here. I'm sure Laura would be glad to host a sleepover. Unfortunately, I don't think it would be wise to include Zelda, since she'll be needed in Hyrule, nor Anju and Kafei, since they run an inn by themselves." He was glad that he had a reason to exclude someone more than Zelda, or she might've thought he just wanted her gone. Yet, it seemed that was still the case.

"I need to talk to you before I leave," Zelda said firmly, as everyone broke apart to eat lunch, use the bathroom, watch T.V. (while Caleb and Prs. Zelda stepped aside, where no one noticed them; if he had not been dating her, he would certainly have demanded to use the T.V. for playing Halo), or follow Laura on a tour of the house (though she seemed to change her mind once she saw Dark Link and Zelda alone). Hannah looked reproachfully at Zelda's back, and pretended to be watching the news along with Paul and Sara.

"Zelda, I already told you--"

"Not about that. It's Eleah. Malon says he used some weird spell that makes him her servant or something..."

"Voluntary Servant Pact..." Dark Link mouthed, admiration in his voice. "So Evol can't use him anymore... Well, he can still make that weapon, but he can't make him do anything else. I presume he's Censored her name so no one can attack her. 'Course, while he's her bodyguard, there's not much chance of that happening anyway. But a good absolute defense. Other benefit is he gets to reconcile."

Laura suddenly appeared by their side. "What's this, Darky? Dumping Hannah?"

"We were discussing Eleah. Apparently, he's placed himself under Malon's control by use of the Voluntary Servant Pact to avoid Evol--"

"But we were getting around to that," Zelda interrupted, glaring at Dark Link. He raised an eyebrow.

"Not much left to say. I still haven't changed my mind."

"Ooh, whaddaya say to that?" Laura laughed. She was enjoying herself, not even caring for how they really felt.

"I'll just have to make you change your mind," Zelda persisted. She disabled and bound him, then forced him into kissing her. Laura wasted no time in taking out her cell phone and taking a picture of the scene.

"Finally, I got Darky and Zelda!" Laura exclaimed with glee. Hannah was ready to explode, and nearly did, before Dark Link pushed Zelda away, looking just as enraged.

Dark Link, hardly able to control himself, slapped Zelda. Using his superior power, he whisked away her spells and stormed out the door, slamming it as hard as he dared without breaking it. Laura shrugged and continued rambling on.

"So now I've got me and Link,--both our first and our wedding--Firah and Malon, Juyk and Jessica's wedding, Caleb and Angela, Lucia and Cole,"--(She had made Sara take the picture of Lucia and Cole because she knew they might do it when she was gone, as she had warned them not to do)--"and finally...Darky and Zelda. Ah, if only Link were here to stop me!"

Zelda felt her cheek, and ran off to the bathroom, crying. Hannah gasped, but couldn't help feeling satisfied. Laura, seeing that no one was paying attention to her anymore, sighed and followed after Zelda, closing the door behind her.

The bathroom was pretty large. The tub had a quarter of the room all to itself, almost like a jacuzzi. The rest of the room was taken up by a separate area for showers, a sink with a counter around it for placing things usually put behind a mirror in normal bathrooms, and, of course, a toilet, which Zelda was sitting on, sobbing into her hands.

"Get out!" Zelda shouted, pointing.

"This is my house, remember?" Laura walked forward, smiling still. "And since you're in my house, I have to make sure you're not sad. Benefit of being a guest. So let's talk about it."

Zelda stared, disbelieving. "Talk? With you?" She snorted.

"I'm gonna ignore that... So yeah, go ahead. Tell me all about it."

"Like you care..."

"But I do! Look, Zelda, no jokes. Completely honest. From one woman to another." Zelda still wasn't going to talk to her, so she started instead, sitting down in front of her. "Okay, I'll go first. I haven't seen Link for a few days, and it's been really lonely here without him. I mean, sure, I've got Dad and Sara for company, but...I just feel so incomplete without Link. It's depressing... I keep thinking...what if we can't get him back? Then what'll I do? Well, besides killing myself..."

Zelda looked up. True, Laura was going through worse times than her...

"Your turn," Laura invited. Zelda remained silent. "Okay, pass. Me again. My Dad hates Link for no good reason. Just cuz he's not royalty. Suggested I get rid of our next kid and leave with his cowardly group of lords to Xeria, to escape this world's destruction. He accused Darky of cursing me to love Link in the first place. Can you believe that? And he has the nerve to say I'm a disgrace to him. I'm telling you, the day he dies won't be a sad one... Your turn."

"J-James..." Zelda forced herself to say. She calmed down and steadied her voice. "He was my first crush, back when I was really little. I never knew his family...only him. Might've been an orphan. We used to play together all the time. That's when he told me of his twin brother, Link. Don't think it was the same Link, though. James had green hair, but I guess he could've had it dyed or something...maybe even a wig. But he looked fairly different. Anyway, he...he was k-killed. They never found his murderer."

"Well now we're getting somewhere... My turn. My old friends, Sara and Lucia, died when I won the Trivulian Tournament. Just so I could make a wish. Their families didn't know they'd entered, and they got mad at me. And rightly so. Their daughters for my choice of anything in the world. My best friends killed in my desperate quest to gain Link's affection... When you think about it, they were some pretty loyal friends. They knew the risk they were taking, and tried to make it easier for me at the last round...but...they were killed... Your turn."

"My daughter hates me. She does everything she can to get away from me. Sneaks out at night. Talks back. I really need Dark Link's help...but he keeps pushing me away. I've tried absolutely everything I can think of, but he just won't..." She started to cry again.

"My son hates both me and Link. Just as impudent, if not more. Always does stuff without our permission. Never tells us anything; waits for us to figure it out. So demanding too... Link says it's a phase, but I think it's been going on too long for that to be true... Sometimes I think he just enjoys being so self-centered, so arrogant, so...so unlike Link, I guess. I always thought that any child of Link's would get his caring attitude, but obviously I was wrong. I'm fine with his hair and his eye color, it's just his personality that's disappointing... I wish he'd realize that we both love him."

"Dark Link doesn't love me anymore," Zelda spat out in a rush, and Laura waited for her to compose herself. "He says we're just friends...that we should keep it at that. But he's just gonna go with Hannah. I can tell. He's abandoning me, even though it wasn't my fault we divorced. I mean, what would you do if someone threatened to kill your child unless you did? He just...he just acts like it was the right thing to do! Like he'd been meaning to get rid of me. It's just...not...fair..."

Laura looked upon her with sympathy. "Zelda... Ya know what I found out after I stalked Link for seven years? Here, in Hyto, they made a video game about everything he did...without even knowing it was real. They were dead accurate too. But they didn't name the game after Link. The title didn't have 'Link' in it at all. They called it 'The Legend of Zelda'. After you."

Zelda smiled. "W-what does it m-matter?"

Laura stood now. "I thought at the time that they should've named it 'The Legend of Link', but now I think...it couldn't have a better name. Besides the fact that your name sounds better in the context. You're a great person, and it's Darky's loss if he doesn't take you. But if you want him that badly, I can offer some advice." And, knowing Zelda wouldn't ask for it, she spoke it anyway. "First of all, be assertive, but not aggressive. Hang around him a lot. Be his friend. If you're lucky, he'll change his mind. It's a lot better than taking him all-or-nothing. With him, I'd wager slow increments are the way to go. He's not a man of rash decisions. So...slow down, let him get used to you again. If you do it right, I guarantee he'll fall for you again, even after what you just did."

Zelda slowly stood as well, and hugged Laura. "I...I never thought I'd say this, but...thanks, Laura. You're right, I've just been pressuring him too much. I guess you're not too insensitive."

Laura, taken aback, returned the hug. "Don't have to thank me, we're friends." She pushed Zelda off and said, "Well what're you waiting for? Go get Darky! I'll be rooting for you." And Zelda, laughing, disappeared.
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Dark Link stared at the high ceiling of Hyrule Castle's throne room, sitting on his old chair with his legs up on Zelda's. If she wasn't gonna come here, he might as well take over for her until she returned.

"Why'd you slap her though?" Eleah asked, having arrived a minute ago upon Dark Link's request.

"Cuz she forced me!" Dark Link replied angrily. "She's so damn naive... I told her--well, I told both of them--that I don't like either of 'em. Yet she thinks one kiss'll win me over. Same thing with Hannah, 'cept she's a lot better at forcing people, if ya know what I mean."

"What a pickle," Eleah sighed, staring out the window at the beautiful day, which seemed much darker to them. Eleah was only here because he had requested that Malon send him to meet Dark Link after he got the summons (at the time, he had been milking cows with less...traditional...techniques). "And what do you want them to do?"

"Leave me alone, of course."

"But then what? Would you force someone to deny their desire?"

"And what d'you want me to do, then?"

"Whatever you feel is best. Choose one of them, or find another."

"Doesn't anyone care what's going on outside their love lives? I mean, this world is on the brink of destruction, and no one's really, truly trying to help me stop it."

"They are, they're just using their free time wisely. If you hadn't noticed, we have a little less than two months to do this, and that's a pretty big chunk of time. Desperate times call for desperate measures, right? This is just taking it to another level: desperate times calling for desperate decisions. They think they're gonna die anyway, so why wait? Probably why there're couples like Lucia and Cole. See each other once, think that they're never gonna love anyone else anyway, and run off with each other. You see it all the time during periods when an area knows of its imminent doom. All you can do is either go with the flow or at least put up with it."

Dark Link laughed. "Put up with it? Easy for you to say."

"Me? Do you know how disgusted that woman's making me? I never knew just how much stuff I can do with my mouth, and frankly I don't think I want to find out the extent of its abilities."

"Yeah, I bet you'd rather do something else with it when you're near Malon, huh?"

Eleah looked back at him. "Is that what you think? Ya know, if I liked her I wouldn't hide it, would I? Surely I'm not such an enigma that that's what you'd expect of me?"

"Then why pick her? Why not Matt, your daughter, or even me? I think it's a lot more like you to hide it, because the idea that you'd fall in love with a widow whom you'd wronged is so unlikely. No one'd think it possible. Not even Laura. But the fact that you chose her of all people makes it that much more evident. Helps to pretend to hate her though. If you don't want anyone else to figure it out, you should just keep the punishment stories up."

"You know she's punishing me. And if it weren't me we're talking about, I'd agree with you. But I'm serious. Firah was probably my best friend. I had no control over myself at that time, otherwise I wouldn't've done it. I'm making it up to him by serving the closest person to him."

"Or so you tell yourself. I think you want to be punished just so you can erase that from your conscience and feel justified in loving her. Plus, being her bodyguard when she's so depressed means a higher possibility of frequently ending her suicide attempts, which demands touching her. See, then you have a reason to. I don't know when, but I'm sure that at some point in those sixteen years this plan just popped into your head, and you've been developing it ever since."

Eleah shook his head piteously. "Ah, Dark Link...so many things you think you understand. One day those assumptions are gonna cost you something, if you're not careful. And anyway, this discussion was about you and your refusal to participate in a love triangle, not what insanity you'd concocted to try and get me to reveal things that don't exist."

"I thought that part was over," Dark Link said, unnecessarily raising an eyebrow, as Eleah couldn't see it anyway.

"Nope, you're not out of the spotlight yet. I still have to ask the ever so aggravating question, which hardly ever really unearths any useful information: Out of Zelda and Hannah, who would you date, and/or marry, if you absolutely had to?"

"Tough question. Though the age group which usually asks it doesn't take certain things into account. I'm guessing you expected their sort of answer?"

"No, I expect your sort. Hopefully you'll keep it nice and short though."

"Well, if I was being forced beyond my will...Hannah."

"Out of anger?"

"No. I just know Hannah better, being with her for what's technically been fifteen years. They've both forced me to kiss them, so that part about it's even. Zelda's a bit more--"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. No details, please. Second question: Which do you think looks more attractive?"

"Easy. Zelda. I may not be infatuated anymore, but it's still true."

"Yes, of course, you're not one for falling in love over looks anymore. Into personalities, like a reasonable person. That being the case...why Hannah? You don't seem the type to love one as emotionally fragile as she."

"Who said I loved her? You just asked who I'd pick if I had to. Doesn't imply I'd particularly enjoy my decision."

"Yeah, true."

"And if you feel that way, why'd you go out with her before?"

Eleah chuckled. "Yes, why... Basically, I was just like her back then. We shared a lot of interests, and were able to see the great qualities we both owned, yet failed to show because of our...shyness. It was very strange, I must admit. But, were I there again, I wouldn't change a thing."

"But what about Laura? I mean, her style of love seems more like your approach, only a bit more salient. I'm surprised you didn't at least ask her out or something. While you were in the Wizards of Termina of course, and before she saw Link..."

"Actually, there's a very good reason for my restraint from that..." Eleah opened his mouth to continue, but stopped when he saw Qn. Zelda in the reflection on the window.

"What're you doing here?" Zelda asked, as the Nearby Teleportation spell, used so often to bring a person next to another, never warned the user where they'd end up.

"Standing in for you," Dark Link replied, not looking at her.

"Oh..." Zelda hadn't thought of this, but it only made sense that someone should when she was gone. "I... Dark Link, I'm sorry. I shouldn't've--"

"I know you shouldn't have. Doesn't change the fact that you liked it."

Eleah turned to face the scene, his arms crossed. "Do I have no effect whatsoever?"

Dark Link continued. "You're only apologizing cuz I slapped you. If I'd taken you back, you wouldn't care if what you did was wrong. You're not sorry; you're disappointed."

"Uh, my job to point that out..." Eleah butted in again.

"No, I really am sor--"

"No you're not!" Dark Link exclaimed, finally sitting normally and glaring at her. Where had this rage came from? No matter, his mind told him. Go with it. "You only care for results! To you, it doesn't matter if I'm uncomfortable, as long as you get your ex-husband back! You don't even care about our daughter! You're just using her to try and reel me back in!"

Zelda had started to cry as Dark Link advanced on her, and Eleah rushed over to comfort her. "Dark Link, calm it!"

Dark Link growled, standing. He didn't know why this anger was there, but it felt so comforting... "I will not calm it! I've been dealing with her idiocy for too long!" He searched for a spell to harm her, but was stopped by Eleah. He no longer cared that this new feeling was making him do stuff he wouldn't normally do; she deserved it, didn't she? "Why don't you take her then?! Or at least knock some sense into her!" Frustrated, he thrust his middle finger at both of them and teleported to the Crystal Chamber. How, he pondered, had Link put up with Malon, Ruto, Saria, Nabooru, and Zelda back when they'd all liked him?
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Link awoke. This never-ending barrage of dreams, nightmares, and, more recently and more irritating, wet dreams, was draining his sanity. He could never tell when he was asleep or not, and it didn't matter much, because he was almost immediately emerged in one whenever he did get rest.

Link unzipped his jeans and urinated on the edge of the platform, where he usually did (though he never knew if it was the same spot). This realm seemed to make sure his pants were on at all times, so the thought of removing them to avoid his most hated of dream types was pushed aside as quick as it came.

As he zipped up again, he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. Resentfully, he turned to see Nabooru. Beside her were Ruto, Saria, Malon, and Zelda. They quickly surrounded him, and Nabooru stepped forward. "Link..."

"Link..." the others repeated, in a dreamy voice, staring mischievously at him.

"Link..." reiterated Nabooru. "I'm sorry for sending you to do my dirty work for nothing. I'll make it up to you by giving you what I offered back then." And she leaned forward to kiss him. Link tried his best to punch, slap, or kick her. Nothing he did affected her. Eventually, she faded away for no apparent reason. Maybe hitting them only worked after a while?

Saria swooped in, but Link was ready for her. He punched her in the forehead, and momentarily she too dissipated. But now, it seemed, the illusion was getting smarter. Malon pushed him to the ground, holding his limbs so he couldn't retaliate. "Link...I only dated Firah cuz I wanted to make you jealous. But now I've got you all to myself..."

Struggle as he might, he couldn't throw her off as she kissed him. Link refused to allow her to kiss his lips, and soon she too disappeared. Then did that mean they were also on a timer? Zelda now stepped towards him, somehow paralyzing him (most likely some sort of spell being portrayed). "Link... I only married Dark Link cuz he reminded me of you. But now I'm free of him, and you of that hideous Laura..."

Zelda knelt down and kissed him passionately, as he was now powerless to stop her. Hoping against hope that her timer was shorter than Malon's, he tried to wipe his mind clean of this happening, and imagine as if it were Laura kissing him. This Zelda didn't really exist, did she? So it couldn't be too bad to just think of his wife in her place, right? There wasn't anything he could do to stop it anyway.

She was done soon, and Link braced himself for what he knew would be the worst. Ruto sat beside him, stroking his hair. "Link...I've become mortal again. Now you can fulfill that vow you made twenty-three years ago..." And she did worse than he had imagined she would. Even if it was a dream, he couldn't help but feel revolted as she forced upon him an act which he reserved for Laura.

And, thankfully, he awoke, to see with dismay that the dream had indeed been his least favorite kind. With overwhelming fatigue, he slid to the floor, lying defeated. He couldn't resist anymore. He'd been completely worn out. He failed even to laugh at himself, and felt rather useless. Why wasn't he having another dream yet? It felt extremely lonely not to have some figment of his imagination either scaring him, enticing him, or doing something that made no sense. He had become accustomed to it, and this absence made him strangely let down.

"Laura..." Link pleaded absentmindedly. The only versions of his wife that had ever come here were the cat, and a really annoying tick. Why was she the only one to not have fair representation? "Laura..."

Suddenly, the same women appeared again. They looked upon Link with lust in their eyes, and forks and knives in their hands...
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Oh, and before I forget...what Laura said was the reason I called it "Legend of Link". Was gonna say it back in The Fatal Game, but I forgot to.

Edit: I just checked, and The Fatal Game has over 4,000 views!

Great chapter Sekal. We're getting into the maturedness now. 4000 views? CRAZY.

This is a pretty good non-action chapter. Seeing as everyone is having emotional issues.

To repeat my question from earlier, is Sutar my guy? (dragon what ever)

Originally Posted by Forseti

This is a pretty good non-action chapter. Seeing as everyone is having emotional issues.

To repeat my question from earlier, is Sutar my guy? (dragon what ever)

Thanks. Yeah, they do have a lot of problems, lol. And yes, I editted my other post and said so. I had no idea what to call the dragon before. I thought Sutur would sound a bit weird when you say it out loud, so I changed a vowel. Hope ya don't mind.

Nah it's awesome the way it is. I love dragons so it's even more perfect.

Well, sorry for being late today. Here's 11.
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Chapter 11
Dark Link kicked Rulm's dead body in anger. He'd never gotten the time to bury him, and eventually decided not to, just because it wasn't necessary. He punched the rock wall, and his arm went straight through. Pulling it out smoothly, he saw that next to his new anger marker was a dent which he had punched sixteen years ago...the one he had made because the Prophecy had said he'd never be with Zelda...and here he was, enraged at the fact that she was trying to win him back.

Dark Link turned, not willing to face the irony. He now punched The Crystal, and his hand bounced off, unable to penetrate. Rubbing it, he cursed, as Eleah appeared. "Go away."

"What the hell was that about?"

"I don't know. I just...hate her...for some reason."

"Uh...why?"

"I just told you! I don't know!"

"Yeah, well that ain't gonna cut it. If you were an Emotion Wizard, I'd understand. But I don't think an unwanted kiss warrants such blatant outrage. Two minutes ago you were calm, and then you explode. What gives?"

"I. Don't. Know. I just hate her."

"I'm sure she'd love to hear that, but don't you think you should...I dunno...check yourself? Make sure there aren't any spells on you? Seeing as I'm a lowly everyday immortal and invincible guy, I don't have the power to do so."

Dark Link checked his magic, and found a Mood Manipulation spell on his brain. He threw it off, and pulled at its cord. "Evol. But why's he trying to make me mad at Zelda? Maybe...maybe he doesn't want me to like her..."

"Or maybe he's counting on you to think that, therefore making you believe you're defying him by liking her. Or he's expecting you to figure that, and then you'll stay away just to avoid--"

"So, basically...it could work either way. But which do you think is more likely, since you know him better?"

"Are you kidding? He's a mystery. Half the time he fakes stupidity--or, at least, I hope that's what he's doing--and the other half he's confusing me with long-winded schemes that involve at least ten deaths for each step. And he can talk in logical circles for days, finding reasons for making them so long. The fact that he squanders his intelligence by using it for evil is the main reason I hate him, see."

"Whatever. We'll find out what it is in the end. For now, I gotta go apologize."

"Hilarious," Eleah commented. "You have to apologize for not letting her apologize. That's why I like following you around: your life is so damn poetic."
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"And how do I know that it wasn't what you really felt?" Zelda asked, skeptical. "I mean, what if it was an Emotion Manifestation spell?"

"Do you want me to hate you?" Dark Link raised an eyebrow. "I told you my magic identified it as a Mood Manipulation. I guess it depends on whether you trust me or not."

"Of course I trust you! It's just..."

"Just that you love him, and the fact that he slapped you before makes you think he isn't interested in you," Eleah explained for her. "So you're most likely of the opinion that he's sidestepping responsibility by avoiding your affection. Or maybe you think he sees you as foolish for trying such a thing, especially with Hannah on our side. Rulm, of course, told him that Bonded Matter Wizards weren't to be trusted. Thus, if she were to be angry that Dark Link hadn't even given her a chance, she might become enraged and stop helping us, proving Rulm correct. Any way you think it, Dark Link's in a difficult position, whether he feels towards anyone or not."

"Yeah, thanks for the summary," Zelda said in a tone that clearly declared her displeasure at his presence. "As you've probably guessed, Laura tried to comfort me back there. Gave me advice which I don't entirely intend to take... I'll be blunt with you. I love you. But you were right. I'm only sorry cuz you refused. Eleah's right too. Hannah's near to leaving our side already, and I don't want to risk that happening. As much as I desire, I can't endanger others for my own enjoyment."

Dark Link nodded. "I understand. I'm quite pleased you didn't suggest living a--"

"That's my line, thank you very much," Eleah interrupted, clearing his throat loudly. "I'm quite pleased you didn't suggest living a lie. Not only would it be very obvious that you didn't comprehend the implied reasoning against a relationship between you two at this point, it would also show that you're a bit of a hypocrite. Choosing, however, to abstain from it...is one of the wisest choices you will ever have made.

"So, you are now both on the same plane. You understand each other's position, and respect it. I must admit, though, that it's gonna be a lot more boring this way...and Hannah's still gonna be annoying as hell."

"Fine by me," Dark Link said dismissively. "Now Eleah, can you tell me where Sahara is?"

"No clue. I'm leaving her on her own now. She's the Black Wizard, so she's been smart as you and me for years. Doesn't really need to be looked after, so I cut it short at sixteen."

"Yeah, and she's blocking me. At the moment, the only way I could find her is if she approached me directly. Can't you tell her to help us?"

"Sorry, she's beyond my control. You'll just have to wait 'til you find the White Wizard to overrule her."

"That's the problem. If she'd just show herself, we'd be able to find the White Wizard immediately."

"Can't blame her for wanting to get away from it all," Eleah said thoughtfully. "I'll give her your request, but I can't make her follow through. She's rather rebellious towards me, just so ya know. Might not do it..."

"Are there any other ways to find the White Wizard?" Zelda asked patiently, not wanting to get kicked out of the conversation. "I mean, how'd we find out you were a Wise Wizard?"

Dark Link slapped his forehead. "That's it!" Why hadn't he thought of it before? The way Tylk had seen what he was those sixteen years ago... "Eleah, give her this." He handed him one of the Crystal Swords. "If it turns black when she touches it, then we can use it to find the White Wizard."

"Ah, I see," Eleah said, taking it. "Yes, even if it's hidden, it may show... I'll be sure to do that."

"No, don't 'be sure to do that'. Do that now. It'll save us a whole lot of time if that works."

And so, Eleah disappeared. Dark Link and Zelda, now alone, became silent. "I'm really sorry," Dark Link said after a while.

"No, it's okay. I shouldn't've tried to--"

"No, not that. I'm sorry for allowing our divorce."

"You mean you--?"

"I mean that if I hadn't gone through with that...our daughter would've grown up with a father as well. Hannah would only be a little disappointed, and I never would've had to hurt you. It's my fault, so I'm not blaming you for trying to get me back. Just know that now it wouldn't work."

"Right."

"Excuse me for eliminating embellishments, but why do you two even like me?"

"Well...you're... For me it's probably just cuz you were my only husband, my only lover. And she's going off your concern for the Bonded Matter Wizards. And you're brave, self-sacrificing..."

"Believe me, there're many better people than me," Dark Link said bitterly. "'Self-sacrificing'..."

"I meant that...you know, if we succeed, if we do stop Evol by fixing time...you'll--"

"I'll cease to exist. Yeah, I know. But by no means is that a selfless goal.

"What d'you me--"

"When I first learned my destiny, first heard Rulm tell me of my future, I wanted to die. I tried to commit suicide, but Eleah stopped me. Obviously, the Prophecy at work. Later, I asked Firah to change my wish to being able to defy the Prophecy. That was before you and I started dating. I was on my last resort at the time. Still am. If this works, I can be wiped from existence instead of killed while leaving behind regrets. So...make of that what you will, but don't call it 'self-sacrificing' like it's noble."

Zelda hesitated, then hugged him. "Oh Dark Link... Why must life be so unfair? I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"Zelda, I already told you, it's not your--"

"I know. But the goddesses aren't going to apologize. And if not them, then who will? I'll find a way to fix your situation, I promise."

Dark Link, accepting, hugged her back. "Thanks."
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Sahara looked out over the Gerudo Desert from atop the Spirit Temple. She let the harsh wind blow around her as she pondered. Caleb was in Hyto again. The attacks made by Sutar meant the good guys were meeting to discuss the situation... What a foolish move. If Evol wanted, he could've continued to ravage the other races while they sat there doing nothing. Didn't they see that?

But just who was the new White Wizard? She had tried to find him since the moment Rulm had died, but there were no traces. Yet, she had a feeling that this person had magic already. So, definitely not Caleb. It made it a whole lot less interesting, but he was still fair game. If only he would dump that girl, she knew it would be all too simple to win his heart...or at least, win his hormones' interests.

What was he doing now? What was he thinking about? Closing her eyes tightly, she tapped into his immediate area, using a spell granted to her by being both Black Wizard and daughter of an immortal Hytoian. She smiled. He was singing. Obviously, he'd gotten his band together to practice...perhaps also to show off to his...well, to that girl. She couldn't help but imagine him standing before her, singing this same song ("For Your Love" by The Yardbirds) for her entertainment. And he will, she told herself. When you have him, all you'll have to do is ask, and he'll sing the song for you...

"Good afternoon," Eleah said, making her jump.

Sahara turned to see her father standing there, holding a Crystal Sword. "Ah," she sighed, pointing at it. "Gray's suggested that method?"

"Yup. He also invites you to join the cause. Save the worlds and whatnot. If you combine your power with his, you can find the White Wizard quickly. If not, at least help test his theory."

"The theory being that a Crystal Sword draws power from the user's magic, even if it's hidden? I think it's doubtful, but nevertheless..."

Sahara grabbed the sword's handle and waited. It was clear, and she could see her reflection in it. Nothing happened. "Well there goes that idea," Eleah shrugged. He took the blade back, but Sahara stopped him.

"Wait... Tell him it worked."

"What? Why?" Eleah asked, utterly perplexed. "That would cause him to use this as a basis for his search; slow it down."

"Exactly."

Eleah raised an eyebrow. "You sure about this?"

"Absolutely. My plans call for a hold-up on their part. Luckily for me, Gray's just provided it. Take it back to him and say it worked."

"And if I don't? If I'm honest?"

"VSP's don't guard against poisonous substances in a person's food or drink, as I'm sure you know."

Eleah gaped. "You wouldn't--"

"Oh, wouldn't I? I am the Black Wizard, after all. Killed a room full of Iron Knuckles in two seconds, three faster than you--"

"Two point nine seconds--"

"Be that as it may... I deciphered the human genome at the age of eight. I created cures for incurable diseases without so much as a hint to the answers. I figured one million digits of what the Hytoians call 'pi' without a technological device of any kind. I wrote five thirty-minute symphonies in one day, and performed them all, to your honest applause. Believe me, there's not much I can't or won't do, if I really want to."

Eleah grimaced. "So you're allying with Evol, are you? It's with him that your loyalties lie?"

"'Loyalties'? I depend, and am loyal to, myself. No one controls me. My plans, however they may seem in favor to another party, are for my benefit and mine alone. I'm the Black Wizard; I need no master."

"But you're only sixteen!" Eleah blurted.

"So is Gray. He just looks like he's older. You respect him as an equal."

"Right... But you're my daughter!"

"If everyone obeyed their parents, crime rates would be much higher. Adults make bad choices too. It is silly to think me obligated to follow your every whim. Plus, you said you trusted me to make my own decisions. Even if you don't know my plans, need you? Which would be better? Gray wasting a portion of his humongous amount of time, or Evol gaining control of you again, using your inside information to thwart Gray?"

Eleah stared at his daughter in disbelief and fear. "...Okay, I'll do it." He disappeared, and Sahara closed her eyes again, sensing her plan being put into action. Eleah, Gray, and Zelda stood in Hyrule Castle for a few minutes. Gray teleported to Caleb, Eleah to Malon. Gray passed to different people in the house to see the sword's reaction, and then teleported to Hyrule, no doubt to get a start on checking everyone else.

She focused on Caleb again. If she could just see him, have a picture... Duh! She snapped her fingers and a circular slice of The Crystal materialized in her hands. She thrust her desire to see Caleb into it, and his body came into view on it. He was talking with Cole, no doubt about his dating Lucia. She listened in.

"...a few things you oughta know about her," Caleb was whispering to him, as Lucia had just left the room. "First of all, she'll do anything--and I mean anything--for chocolate."

"Figured that for myself," Cole said, laughing.

"Second, she's got claustrophobia. 'Course, I don't think you'll be in any enclosed spaces with her for a long time..."

Sahara sighed longingly. His voice was...gentle, but firm. A music of its own. She was no longer hearing what he said, but paying attention to the way he said it. Inflections, pace, his wonderful emphasis on certain words and syllables... She involuntarily swooned, dropping and breaking the Crystal Mirror, and her magic swiftly chastised her, bringing her back to her senses. "I want him now!" she exclaimed, as a child who couldn't wait until Christmas for a present they knew they would receive.

Then why not just go to Tulpar? One minute there's about six days here.

"Don't be stupid, don't be stupid..." Sahara pleaded with herself. "He's an infatuation, but he will be mine. And that will only be true if I go through with the plan. Stay focused, don't make rash decisions...and stop talking to yourself, dammit!"

She pulled at her hair like a madman, and, with a cry of rage, flopped down on the stone.

"Calm down... Set Caleb aside for the moment. Return to Xerian... The word 'tfil' is the standard form of 'lift'. Changes are made using the first vowel in the next word. The phrase 'lift the rock' translates to 'ofil teh kcor'." She paused, as a thought interrupted her. "Caleb would be Belac...no, wait...he's still a teenager. So...using first vowel of his father's name...Belaic..."

She absentmindedly searched the worlds. Belaic was the name of forty-one Xerians...no, forty-two. It was annoying when new people were named something while you were checking it. It was one of the less popular names. There were also some travelers named Belaic found in Hyto, Holodrum, and Labrynnia.

Sahara sat straight up. Why hadn't she thought of this before? It fit... So, if he was...then...

She could do exactly what Gray was trying to accomplish. If she just stepped away from these happenings...hid in Tulpar...then time would redirect itself. She doubted whether she had the willpower to do such a thing, but theoretically she could, now that logic no longer applied to the time line.

But why stop it all now? If she went ahead and finished the task, she would never exist. No, it was best to take advantage of her knowledge...
----------------------------------------------------------------
Eleah grudgingly bowed to Malon. "Ya know, if I weren't under this spell's power, I'd slap you for that."

Malon laughed. "Sorry, it's just...it makes me feel powerful to be able to force you to do that."

"I don't think it's necessary to feel powerful, in your position..." Eleah growled, as he stood and saw her beautiful smile... Mentally, he kicked himself. What had he thought that for?! Dark Link just had to accuse him of this... Apparently it was his fault. Eleah wouldn't have thought that himself, that was for sure... Before he could stop it, a part of his brain immediately latched onto the perception. No matter how many times he yelled at it "It doesn't matter! She's too young!", it would not detach. If love had any setback, this was it: if you considered a person once, no matter how small the affection, a bit of that would stick with you forever.

"So what's their decision?" Malon asked eagerly.

"Zelda loves Dark Link, but she's gonna treat him like a friend now, just so Hannah doesn't envy her and stop helping us. And then Dark Link came up with the idea that we could use the Crystal Sword to find the White Wizard, so I went to see if it would work on hidden magic, and it did." He said this before Malon could ask him. As long as she didn't, he could lie to her as well. "So now he's out there, checking all the possible people."

"Ah. Well I guess that's settled then..."

"Who d'you think would be better for Dark Link?" Eleah asked. He didn't know why he was asking it. What did it matter what she thought? Hannah was the best choice, since he had even said that he would choose her if he had to.

"I dunno. Zelda, I guess. Why're you asking me? You're the big expert on love."

"Yeah, Zelda... She's a hell of a lot more desperate than Hannah, and she's dated and married him before, and, knowing him, he hasn't changed much, especially in the area of showing his affections. Technically, though, he's younger than both of them. Sixteen... I mean, if we're going by his physical form, he's closer to Zelda. Hannah's twenty-eight, but technically forty-six, like me. So if we go by actual years, he's only a bit older than Sahara. Disconcerting that he had a daughter at age one, but oh well..."

"Whatever," Malon sighed, annoyed. Must he ramble on about it?

"Oh, and before I forget... I have a request."

"A request?"

"For something you can make me do. See, Evol broke my iPod, and I can't summon a new one, since they cost so much. Impenetrable Wizard Law Number 22 says we can't summon anything with a value over a hundred rupees. And iPods don't come quite so cheap. Yet, I believe that if you force me to, I can do practically anything, as long as it's in the realm of possibility. As it's completely possible to summon an iPod once you've already bought it, it should also be possible to force me to summon one, even if I haven't paid a rupee. Oh, and don't bother asking what an iPod is; you wouldn't understand."

"Well...sure... Summon an...eye...pod."

Eleah snapped his fingers and a black iPod, identical to his old one, appeared. "Thanks. I can finally listen to my music again..." He magically applied songs onto it, remaining silent for a minute. "There, that oughta do it. That'll teach Evol to mess with my entertainment, eh?"

Malon rolled her eyes and laid down on the table, boredom soon following her. "Yeah, whatever..."

"Who d'you think would be good for me?" Eleah questioned awkwardly after a while.

"Outta who?"

"Anybody."

"I dunno...Hannah?"

"Nah, she hates me for marrying Nahara."

"Well...I dunno! Stop asking me these kinda questions!"

Eleah sighed. Why was Malon so... Well duh, Firah... But still, she was being very unreasonable. For no reason, he said, "Ya know, Dark Link seems to think I like you."

"Yeah, so does Zelda. You don't, do you?"

"Of course not. But Zelda too? By chance, did she say that I'm allowing you to punish me to clear my conscience and justify it?"

"Yep."

"Damn copy-and-paste-er..."

"Copy what?"

"Nothing." He could never love Malon. Why was Dark Link so damn sure about it then? Evidently, he wasn't as smart as Sahara... But he'd never gotten her view on the subject... But why bother? The truth was solid, clear, and unchanging. She was now his master, and the only reason he felt anything towards her was because his mind was searching frantically for a new lover. Unless...

"Oh yeah, and I figured out how to--" Malon started, suddenly sitting up.

"No way..." Eleah muttered sharply.

"What?"

"Uhh...nothing, nothing."

"As I was saying, I figured out how to get you to tell me your secret. Here it goes..."

"No!" Eleah exclaimed forcefully, putting a hand to her mouth. She said something muffled, and his hand retreated, the spell not caring if he heard the command or not.

"And so I'm not interrupted...don't speak until I tell you what to do." She looked smugly at him, and continued slowly. "Describe, specifically, the contents of your darkest--"

Eleah, desperation peaking, lunged at her, kissing her full on the lips to stop her from finishing. It was heaven. Granted, it only lasted the three seconds it took for Malon to react, but it was still heaven. He had forgotten what it was like to kiss a woman like this, and was saddened by the reality of its short duration.

Malon pushed him off, blushing. Then, as angry as she had been the day they made the pact, she punched him to the ground. Looking as though she had been possessed, she seemed to emanate evil. Closing her eyes, she said, through gritted teeth, "Get out."

Eleah got up, not leaving, since she hadn't said a location to go to. Then he stared in horror as Malon blanked out. No...why hadn't he thought of that? Why had he pushed her into this? Hadn't he told himself not to let it happen? His secret wasn't worth this...

Staring into space, Malon said blandly, "Go to the Dreamer's Dimension."

And the house vanished. Instantly, he was sitting on a round platform made of tan stone, and Link lay on the ground a few feet away, groaning while clutching his stomach. He glanced up briefly, but resigned himself to trying to rest again.

"Guess they don't feed ya here, huh?" Eleah laughed bitterly. Link still didn't acknowledge him. Catching on, he said, "Just so ya know, I'm the real deal." Nothing. Oh well... He checked his magic. The VSP didn't guard against mind control... But why had it stopped? If Evol was behind this, why hadn't he made Malon tell him to return immediately after arrival? Someone must've stopped him...
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Oh yes, and I'm writing ch. 13 now. It's getting harder to think of stuff to write, since the plot was pretty much just full of the beginning and end of this story. Oh well, I'll make it through somehow...

Edit: Oh yeah, and I'm gonna explain Xerian fully later. For now, I thought it would be funny to make "the" be "teh", since that's how people misspell it when typing.

Err...hello? Quiet in here all of a sudden...
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Chapter 12
Sahara canceled Evol's mind control, putting a dark blade to his bone throat. The Death mage turned slowly to face her, grinning (or at least, as much of grinning as is possible when your mouth is nothing but bones). "Surprise, surprise..." Evol touched the sword, pulling at it. It would not yield, and he was lucky to catch the curse attached to it, shielding his magic. "How sweet. Protecting your father..."

"He's not the one in need of protection," Sahara breathed. Evol looked a lot more menacing than her father had implied. Like Death; the Grim Reaper. And the way he carried himself suggested he was as such. She felt weird, being scared of someone she currently had power over. "You sent him there to get rid of Link by having Malon bring him back. Don't think I didn't notice that. My father's traceable again, you know."

"What quick instincts!" Evol complimented. "Even for me, that spell is now impossible to perform for another five years, long beyond the time you mortals have left to save those worlds. How ever did you find this place?"

"My father told me where it was five years ago."

"Hmm...you are a very bright girl. How much have you discovered of my plans so far?"

"All of it. From forcing my father's parents away to Nal, to making Rulm take Hannah to the Dreamer's Dimension and easily picking my father up as an apprentice...all the way to the point where you will let a select few enter the Time mage's realm. The entire thing's admirable, at the least. Predicting people's actions based on their personalities and past experiences...and almost flawless in the execution."

"So you also know why I allowed you to know this location, and to notice that I was attempting to kill Link? Why I, in a matter of speaking, brought you here?"

"Yes. But I shall refuse, as you knew I would. I will also refrain from giving you any information you hope to gain from this encounter. Though if I'm not mistaken, you expect me to hide it, and instead analyze your movements, as I have already done."

"Do you know who the White Wizard is, then?"

"Yes. It seems Gray is wasting his time after all."

"If you know, then why aren't you helping them?"

"I have my own agenda. If I am to cease existing, I'd at least want to do some things before I go."

"But Gray will not prevail. Surely you know this? I have set things up so that it will be impossible for him to do so."

"Yes, you did. But another set things up so he would."

Evol gripped his scythe tighter, getting ready to attack when her guard was down (though it never was). "And who might that be?"

"Funny, I remember saying I wouldn't give you the information you were hoping to gain... Perhaps it slipped your mind. But just so you know, your own plan incorporated the use of this enemy. You are a true fool, Evol. Wisdom, Power, and Courage are nothing without the purity of Love. Not even Hyto's added Truth can get around the need for the emotion."

"I didn't take the Quadraforce..." Evol said tentatively.

"I know you didn't. You failed to. But now you believe that destroying these three worlds will give you those divine artifacts. You have no use for them other than becoming ruler of a world, removing your curse, or fixing the Prophecy's hold on time. Maybe all three. Maybe those and an unlimited supply of wishes for the rest of your immortal life. Whichever it is, you will not be satisfied in the end."

"Like father, like daughter. You owe your life to me, you do realize?"

"No, I owe it to a being much more powerful than you, who predicted what you would predict, who planned that this would be your plan, who knew more than you will ever know."

"'A being'? And you use past tense at the end. Not a human, then, and dead?"

"Humans are beings. I'm merely referencing the large category of existing organisms which have human intelligence. I'm a being, you're a being. I called them 'another' before, and you assume the use of 'being' suggests it's not a human? 'Being' has been used even for some of the greatest historical figures, as well as lowly insects. Logic, Evol, logic."

"Well aren't you a tricky one? I'll just have to expose your weakness... You love Caleb, correct?"

"I don't know if it can be classified as love. More of an infatuation. And for future reference, that's not my weakness."

"Why do you like him? What quality can he possibly possess that draws your attention?"

"He's handsome...and he has a beautiful voice. If you're going anywhere with this, please do hurry it up."

"Are those things worth it? If you're going to be erased, will those small things about him really have made a difference? Why bother try for him if neither of you will end up existing? Why not join my campaign, and live with him for a normal length of time? Live together in harmony for years, instead of a few days before eternal extinction?"

"Because I could never forgive myself for that, nor would I allow him to. A Wise Wizard should not be selfish. I am to do my duty, and fade away. No matter how much I yearn to be with Caleb, it is the people's safety I must put before my own. So, as I said I would, and as you knew I would, I refuse your offer. Temptation, thou art rejected."

"If that be the case..." Evol sighed, and threw her sword from him, slashing at her side. She summoned a second blade and blocked, beginning to fight as Eleah had done. Her attacks had less edge to them, however. Evol couldn't help but get the awful feeling that she was holding back... And then, when he finally thought he'd gotten her fighting style memorized, she summoned a third sword.

Before he could stop her, Sahara sprung into the air, and he felt swords stabbing down on his head. When she landed on his other side, she grabbed one sword as it fell, and threw another above her. With a speed Evol had never seen, she assaulted him from every side, undoubtedly using some sort of juggling act to hold each sword. Ingenious... She truly is Eleah's daughter...
------------------------------------------------------------

Thurs., August 22

Malon sighed. It was all her fault... If she commanded Eleah to leave the Dreamer's Dimension, Link would die... But Evol had made her say that, right? And why had Eleah kissed her? Had he been lying about not liking her? Or was he that desperate to keep a secret?

Laura had taken it a lot easier than anyone had expected. She had invited Malon to stay with her while she was protected from Evol. Everyone had finally left the house (Sally joined Hannah and Lucia, and Mikau joined Dark Link and Caleb). She sat cross-legged next to Malon on the couch, watching a soap opera on TV intently, clutching a pillow to her chest. "Aw, come on Lucy!" she exclaimed exasperatedly at the screen. "It is so obvious he's cheating on you! Please don't fall for that... Malon, keep your fingers crossed..."

Malon smiled at Laura's wide eyes as she willed the fake Lucy to dump the fake Kevin. She was crazy... But she was the last of the Wizards of Termina besides Eleah himself. Maybe she knew? "Uh...Laura? I have a question."

"Not now! C'mon, c'mon... Yes!" Laura practically jumped a foot in her seat. "Take that, Kevin!... Aw, it's over... What'd you want to ask me?"

"I...I was trying to get Eleah to tell me his darkest secret. That's why he kissed me; to stop me from finishing saying it. I just thought, since you were in the Wizards of Termina with him, you might know..."

Laura blushed. "Oh...that... Well...it's nothing that interesting. If he means what I think he means, that is... But never mind that! The fact still stands that he likes you!"

"But he only kissed me to--"

"Pfft. If he didn't like you, he might've not cared so much if you knew about that. Believe me, I know Eleah."

"So what?! He killed Firah! I could never--"

"But he didn't want to," Laura pointed out. She thought it cute that Eleah liked Malon. "Like Darky said, he probably just made you his master so you could punish him and clear his conscience. Now he thinks it's okay--"

"Well it's not! I still hate him!"

"He can't be such a bad kisser that you didn't feel anything from it."

"I want to kill him."

"Yeah, that'd help, but it's not what I was asking for. You feel attracted to him a little bit, don't you? I mean, since he kissed you."

"No!" Malon said with disgust. "First of all, he's ten years older than me--"

"That's first?"

"Second, he always acts like I'm stupid. And he keeps telling me to get over Firah! What if I don't want to?"

"It'd be a good idea, ya know. He's probably just saying that cuz he was depressed over Hannah for longer. Just giving you advice."

"Oh, it's fine for him! She was alive anyway!"

"Yeah, but think about it. He probably felt bad for giving up on her at first, and then once he found out, it made it worse. He's had it a lot harder than you."

"So what, that means I shouldn't be sad?! What the hell does it matter how bad he feels in comparison?!"

Laura frowned, looked upward, then put a finger up. "Aha! I got it! How about...I tell you what his secret is, and you give him a second chance. You gotta do your end first though, 'kay?"

"Wha...no! I--"

"Great! In the meantime, got any gossip to share? I haven't forgotten how you kept your engagement from me back then, so you gotta make it up to me."

Malon sighed. Was there any way to make Laura understand anything? She was always denying opposition... She must've known she couldn't be right all the time... Yet, her points did have some credibility. Eleah was alone now, and in a worse state than her. He obviously felt something towards her, and he would only do that if he felt it was acceptable. Even so, Malon could never love anyone besides Firah. She might give him a chance, but he would have little hope.
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Eleah paced the small platform, whistling an improvised tune that didn't seem to have any direction. Link had caught on to the situation, and was grateful to finally have company. Not one dream had interrupted since Eleah's arrival, and they guessed they were being held in there differently than the Bonded Matter Wizards had been.

"So, how's Laura?" Link asked anxiously. He knew she'd be devastated, but he just hoped she wouldn't take it too far.

"Cried for a few days, but she's back to her old self again. Twitches when your name comes up," Eleah added, grinning. "You're a lucky guy, ya know that?"

"Jealous?" Link laughed.

"Somewhat. I no longer have a woman to love, and that's really horrible for me. My whole life, I've never had a lasting relationship. And I'm the one telling everyone else what they oughta do..."

"What about Malon?"

"Don't even start that. I don't like her, she doesn't like me. End of story."

"'Kay, I won't bother you then. What about my kids? Laura's hooked them all up by now, I presume. I can just imagine Dark Link having trouble telling her that Sara's too young..."

"You know Kafei's son, Cole? He's dating Lucia."

"Ah, Cole... I remember when Kafei first told me about him, and Laura got angry, saying they were beating us... I think she wanted to have Lucia around that time just so their ages would be close enough for them to date in the future. Set the stage, basically. 'Course, they way things are going, I don't think it'll matter."

"And then there's Caleb..."

"What now?" Link groaned. He'd grown accustomed to associating Caleb with tales of wrong-doing.

"He's dating the Princess. I--"

"What?!"

"Princess Zelda. You know, Dark Link and Queen Zelda's daughter. I saw them kissing."

"And they're letting him?! They're okay with it?"

"Well, I wouldn't think so. I didn't tell them."

"Why not?"

"No reason to punish him until he's actually done something wrong, is there? Dating the Princess ain't a crime. It's just uncommon. But Dark Link married the Queen, so it's not unheard of."

Link shook his head. "Eleah, you don't know Caleb. He's nothing like us. He doesn't take his time in relationships...doesn't wait...I'd go so far as to say he doesn't love. Only a matter of time before he does something wrong."

"Ah, he's into the Popular Practices? I see..."

"The what?"

"Hmm? Oh, that's what I call it. Doing anything you can to be popular, including going a