(com)Windwaker: Link n' Tingle [T]

Ok, welcome to my new Parody. I hope you like it, and please post critism so I can get better! This is also taking the place of Hero of cheese, so forget about it.

Chapter 1: Outset Island

Long ago, there was an ancient kingdom full of people with really pointy ears. I don't know why I don't just call them elves. I guess that's because they're not elves, but more of humans. But they're not really humans either, so I'll call them Hylians. So the kingdom got attacked by a big bad guy who thought he was really cool, even though everyone made fun of his long nose. Hehehe, stupid long nose... Back to the story. There was a hero who traveled through time just to defeat him, and he did, and saved the princess. He dissapeared and everyone was happy that there wasen't a loser in a green tunic running around anymore. But then a foul wind blew across the land, and no, it didn't come from the garbage dump. The evil rose up again, and caused major pain because everyone still made fun of his nose. The people pleaded for they're freaky hero to return, but he ditched them, so they prayed to the gods. The gods were too lazy to smite the evil, so they sat in the clouds drinking water. Nobody knows what happened to that stupid kingdom.

On one island, it is custmomary to dress they're kids in a stupid green tunic and laugh at them, in honor of the Hero of Time, when they come of a certain age.

Outset Island

Ayrll: 'HOY! LINK!
*Looks around the Island*

Ayrll: 'HOY! LINK! IT'S TIME TO LAUGH AT YOU!!!

*Goes up to Ayrll's lookout, where Link is sleeping*

Link: *Wakes up* Whaa? What do you want?

Ayrll: Don't you remember? It's your birthday! (Maybe I should stop knocking him off here on his head)

Link: Uh, so? It's just a birthday. I come up here every birthday.

Ayrll: But it's your thirteenth birthday today!

Link: Uh, your point is?

Ayrll: TODAYS THE DAY WHERE YOU COME OF AGE!

Link: Ok then. I don't really care.

Ayrll: Just go see Grandma. She has a present for you.

Link: PRESENT?! YAYAYAYYAYAYAYA!

*Link climbs down tower and sees snot nosed kid*

SNK: HEY LINK!

Link: *Stares at snot*

SNK: What is it Link?

Link: You've got something on your nose.

SNK: Yeah, it's snot. It's my thing, ya' know?

Link: But that's really gross...

SNK: So, what are you gonna' do about it?

Link: *Rips off snot*

SNK: MY SNOT!

Link: *Throws snot into ocean*

SNK: I'M COMING! *Jumps in after it, and drowns*

*Link is almost at house*

SNK's Mom: Hey Link, have you seen my snot nosed kid?

Link: His name is actually Snot nosed kid?

SNK's Mom: Yes, now where is he?

Link: Last I saw, he was drowning in the ocean

SNK's Mom: Oh. At least I still got my other kid! *Runs home*

*Link arrives at Grandma's house*

Link: Hey Grandma

Grandma: Hey Link. I've got you a present!

Link: OOOH! IS IT A XBOX 360 LIKE I ASKED FOR?

Grandma: Nope, even better! It's a green tunic!

Link: *Holds up Tunic* I'm not wearing this.

Grandma: DON'T DISOBEY YOUR GRANDMA!

Link: What are you going to do?

Grandma: I would put you in the electric chair like they did in my day, but now that's illegal...

Link: I'll just put it on now. *Puts on tunic*

Grandma: There! It looks *chuckles* nice! *Rolls eyes*

Link: But it's so hot in this!

Grandma: I guess that's your problem then. Now go find your sister so she can laugh at you!

Link: I hate you so much.



Well? Do you like it? What did I do wrong?

Hehehe, that's pretty good, definately something I'll frequently read. The intro was, in my opinion, the funniest part, simply hilarious (ganondorf's long nose, Link's tunic, garbage dump, lmao!). I also liked the part with the snot nosed kid and his mom.

Link: Last I saw, he was drowning in the ocean

SNK's Mom: Oh. At least I still got my other kid! *Runs home*

Lol!

So far, I haven't anything to complain about, maybe other than the fact that the chapter was kinda somewhat short, but that doesn't matter, it was funny. Very good. I certainly can't wait to read the next chapter.

LOL! A POSTER!!! back on topic

I thought that last chapter was long, so I stopped writing, but then it ended up being short. So to make up for that, I'm writing another chapter right now!!

Chapter 2: Stupid Bird

*Link arrives at Ayrll's lookout*

Ayrll: Link, you look like such a retard in those clothes... AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!

Link: T_T I hate you.

Ayrll: Well, I have a present for you too!

Link: It had better be that Xbox!!!

Ayrll: You can borrow my telescope for one day!!!

Link: Why would I want a telescope?

Ayrll: Because it's my most prized possesion!

Link: Uh, so? Why don't you just give me your diary for a day so that I can read all of your secrets?

Ayrll: Um... ok? But first just look through the telescope.

Link: Fine. But as long as I get your diary! *Grabs and looks through telescope*

Ayrll: So, what do you see big brother?

Link: I see... a really hot chick! Let's just zoom in there a bit on her chest... oooh yeah!

Ayrll: 0.0 HEY! Look over at the mailbox!

Link: No thanks, she's falling over! Oooh, her white shirt got all wet!

Ayrll: Look at the mailbox Link! LINK! MAILBOX LINK!

Link: Ooh, now she's taking it off! Ewwww... She's fat!

Ayrll: LINK! LINK LINK LINK LINK! LOOK AT THE FREAKING MAILBOX!

Link: FINE DAMMIT! *looks at mailbox*

Rito: Hmm... Now where do I put this letter? There's only one big hole in this strange box that says to put the mail in here, but I think it's a trap... Hmmm... Where oh where do I put this letter? *Eats it* Yummy letter... Hey, I think I'm being watched... Oh well.

Link: Ok then. What a freaky bird...

Ayrll: OH MY GOSH LINK! LOOK UP IN THE SKY!

Link: Too... busy... making...fun... of... bird...thingy...

Ayrll: T_T There's an Xbox up there.

Link: WHERE?! *Looks up in the sky, where a rainbow bird is holding a girl*

Ayrll: WHAT IS IT?

Link: I think it's a ho-oh wearing a mask.

Ayrll: This is Zelda, not pokemon.

Link: Oh, then it's a bird that's going to kill and eat that girl.

Ayrll: Look, a boat!

Link: Yeah, and it's firing stuff at the bird. Wait, it's firing cakes?

*Bird drops girl in forest*

Ayrll: Link! You have to go find her! But you don't have a sword!

Link: Oh, I have a sword alright...

Ayrll: Ewww! Link, that's gross!

Link: I was talking about this sword that Orca gave me before I came here.

Ayrll: Ooh. Then in that case, go up to the forest and find her!

Link: Whatever. *Gets off Ayrll's Lookout*

Stupid Kid: HEY LINK! YOU SHOULD GO SAVE THAT GIRL THAT FELL UP THERE!

Link: That's what I'm doing.

Stupid Kid: What's a doing?

Link: Wow, what a stupid kid.

On the bridge overtop of Outset Island...

Link: Eeek! Scary bridge! *Takes a step* AHHHH! IT'S ROCKING! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? *Runs to half way mark of bridge, where a board is missing* Noooo... WHHAAAA! WHY ME?! *Jumps over, and runs to other side*
Well, that wasen't so bad!

*Link enters the forest, where a strange green man is sitting*

Link: Heh, I see that they forced you to wear the stupid tunic too, didn't they?

Strange man: No, I wear it because I like to. I'm just like my dad!

Link: Who's your dad?

Strange man: Tingle the 33rd. And I'm Tingle the 34th!

Link: Ok then. I have to go save this girl that fell right now.

Tingle: Oh, that girl. She's hanging from that tree.

Link: Well why didn't you save her?

Tingle: Because she wouldn't pay me.

Link: Wow, you're kind of selfish, aren't you?

Tingle: That'll be 50 rupees to answer that question.

Link: I'm just going to leave now, and save that girl.

Tingle: Maybe I shouldn't be so selfish... Oh well!




Now what's wrong with it? Anything? Anything not wrong with it? What?

Nothing I saw except the word fine, you spelled it find. Otherwise, IT'S HILARIOUS!

Ok, new chapter because I'm bored... ?

Chapter 3: Meet Tetra

*Link is walking through the forest*

Link: GIRL?! GIRL?! ARE YOU HOT? I mean WHERE ARE YOU?

Bokoblin: Ooga boogga!

Bokoblin 2: Attacka waka!

Bokoblin: Oke oke

Bokoblin 2: So, uh, we going to attacka waka?

Bokoblin: Oke oke

*Attacks Link*

Link: ACK! *Slashes Bokoblin in face*

Bokoblin: Ouchie muchie! *Dies*

Bokoblin 2: Oh oh no no! *Dies for no reason*

Link: Ok then.

Girl: *Falls off tree*

*Pirate appears at entrance to the forest*

Pirate: Ms. Tetra! Ms. Tetra! My love, my sweet!!! I've been looking all over for you! And I found you a place in my heart!

Tetra: Ye' argh Gonzo? What are they talking about, ya' scurvey dog?

Gonzo: Tetra! Oh buetiful Tetra! I thought that bird had killed you, and eaten your soul!

Tetra: Argh!

Gonzo: Ok, talk like a normal person now, you're not that kind of pirate.

Tetra: Sorry. Now let's go find us some treasure!

Gonzo: YEAH! TREASURE!

Pirates (far away on pirate ship): YA! TREASURE!!

Tetra: *Chuckles* I love being with idiots! I mean, I HATE YOU ALL!

Gonzo: What about this boy? He's seen us, shall we kill him?

Link: ACK! DON'T KILL ME!

Tetra: Nah, just leave that loser. I don't want our blades getting touched by some loser in a green skirt.

Link: HEY! STOP LAUGHING! It's a tunic, not a skirt!

Grass: Uh, that's my sig. You can't say that.

Stoopidmahn: Hey, get out of my Parody!

Grass: Fine...

Stoopidmahn: Continue

*All leave forest, and Ayrll is outside across the bridge*

Ayrll: LINK! You saved that girl! And I got my diary for you!

Link: DIARY! SECRET!

*Run to each other, and the bird takes Ayrll*

Ayrll: LINK! BIG BROTHER! SAVE ME!

*Diary drops from hand*

Link: MUST FIND SECRETS!

*Jumps off bridge, and is saved by Tetra*

Tetra: HEY! You fool! Are you trying to commit suicide?

Link: Maybe. If I was, would you date me?

Tetra: Ewww... *Lifts up onto bridge.*

Later, on the beach

Link: Hey, I have to like, save my sister and all. So can I go with you?

Tetra: No.

Link: Please?

Tetra: No.

Link: PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP?

Tetra: No.

Quill: Hey, Pirates, you should take the loser.

Tetra: Stupid eavesropping bird. Go away.

Quill: I'm just saying that if you big bad pirates hadn't come here, Ayrll would still be here. And also, Link, I thought you hated your sister!

Link: meh. She's ok. I know she's annoying and all, but I still love her.

Band: *Plays a sappy love song*

Link: And I know that I have to save her, even if she's annoying! And- can somebody shut that band up?

Band: *Stops*

Quill: You have to go take him to Forsaken Fortress, because that's where girls with pointy ears have been being taken too.

Tetra: Yeah, well the loser can't defend himself with just a sword. And plus, he's going into the dangerouse forsaken fortress!

Quill: Yeah, well if he wants to commit suicide, let him!

Link: Suicide?

Quill: Don't worry, you'll be fine!

Link: Meh?

Quill: But go find a sheild... Right now.

*LInk goes to Grandma's house*

Link: HEY! OLD LADY! I NEED A SHEILD! *Goes up to find sheild is gone*

Grandma: Link... They took Ayrll... Didn't they?

Link: Yeah, but I'm going to go save her.

Grandma: *Cries* Why would they take a sweet young girl?

Link: Oh, Quill said something about girls with pointy ear getting taken away.

Grandma: Yeah, she's kind of a freak with her ears like that... I mean, *Crying* Take the sheild..

*LINK GOT, A SHEILD!*

*Link exits the house to find Tingle with a sword, and Link's blue and Orange clothes on*

Link: Uh, what do you want?

Tingle: I saw what happened to your sister, and I want to kill- I mean save her!

Link: Ok. Whatever. As long as you act cool.

Tingle: Oh, thank you fairy boy!

Link: I'm not a fairy.

Tingle: Sorry Fairy boy..

Link: MY NAME IS LINK!

Tingle: Sorry Link.

Link: That's better.

ON THE BOAT...

Tetra: Say your goodbyes now.

Link: GOODBYE!

Grandma: *Still crying*

Everyone: GOOD LUCK LINK!

Tingle: GOODBYE MY MANY FANS!

Everyone: *Silent*

Tetra: Why did I even let you bring this freak?

Link: Because he's going to help me. Even though he is a freak who thinks he's a fairy. And He did copy my clothes... OH well. I guess the more the merrier... *Rolls eyes*


How's that?

Hey, this is awesome!

Nice job, SM. This made me chuckle quite a bit. You're doing an awesome job.

One thing I noticed:

Originally Posted by Stoopidmahn

Link: GIRL?! GIRL?! ARE YOU HOT? I mean WHERE ARE YOU?

Originally Posted by Stoopidmahn

Grandma: Yeah, she's kind of a freak with her ears like that... I mean, *Crying* Take the sheild..

Originally Posted by Stoopidmahn

Tingle: I saw what happened to your sister, and I want to kill- I mean save her!

Try not to overdo lines like that.

Otherwise, fabulous. Keep up the good work.


(Smooth cameo, by the way )

Good to see Grass isn't mad though he dosn't own that. Before I joined the site I was Link for haloween. Now i have to say that to my friends all the time! But keep up the good work stupid man.

Lols. Cant wait for teh next one.

Thank's for the comments.

Chapter 4: Niko's challenge

On the pirate ship

Tetra: 'Kay, so you two go to the basement and find a guy named Niko.

Link: You keep him in the basement?

Tetra: Where else to keep the freak?

Link: Okay then... You scare me... alot.

Tingle: TINGLE TINGLE KOOLOO LIMPAH!

Link: Wanna' keep Tingle in the basement too?

Tetra: Yeah, but then I would have to have the tortures of being with him.

Link: You do have a point there.

In the basement...

Niko: Hey guys! You must be the new meat! Isn't that right guys?

Link: Wow, you are ugly....

Niko: Guys? That's not very nice guys.

Tingle: Well, the truth hurts some times.

Link: Shut up Tingle.

Tingle: Me sorry...

Niko: Hey guys, want some treasure?

Link: TREASURE?! WHEREOHWHEREOHWHEREOHWHERE?!!!!

Tingle: Treasure could be alot of rupees.... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Link: Shut up Tingle.

Tingle: Me sorry... again.

Niko: Guys, you have to do my challenge guys. You have to swing from rope to plateform, guys, and then you have to reach the end guys. But guys, there's a time limit too guys, because of the switches.

Link: Ok, we'll try it.

5 minutes later...

Link: Ok, this should be easy.

*Jumps to first rope, slides down, get's rope burn*

Link: AHHHHHHH!! IT BURNS! Let's try that again.

*Link jumps on the rope, and swings forward. Then as he swings backwards, he jumps off*

Link: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I DID IT!

Tingle: Uh, Link, you jumped backwards.

Link: Awwww... Shut up Tingle.

*Link keeps on trying and trying, until he reaches the last platform*

Link: YAY! I made it! *Misses rope* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

*Link goes at it again, until he reaches the last platform again*

Link: Ok, I'm gonna' do this! I just gotta' jump to that rope!

*Platforms go down.*

Link: THE TIME LIMIT'S OVER?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

*Repeats, and makes it to the last rope*

Link: Phew. I actually made it.

Niko: After about, three days.

Link: Shut up.

Niko: Bleh. You're now my squabbie!

Link: No.

Niko: Too bad, I need a squabbie, and you fit the part, shorty.

Link: I'm not short, I'm just veritcally challenged... *cries*

Tingle: Hey Link.

Link: Wait, how did you get over here?

Tingle: I have a balloon...

Link: Shut up Tingle.

Niko: Ok, time to go get your treasure! It's in that box guys, but guys, I'm not suppossed to give it to you guys. So guys, just take it anyways guys.

*Link walks into room, and opens chest*

YOU GOT, THE SPOILS BAG!!!

Link: YOU CALL THIS TREASURE?!

Niko: Guys, it's great treasure guys.

Link: THIS ISN'T EVEN WORTH ANYTHING! I used these as a lunch bag!!!

Tingle: AND THAT'S NOT WORTH ANY MONEY!

Link: Shut up, Tingle.

Tetra: HEY! LOSERS! WE REACHES LAND! GET UP HERE!

Niko: Sorry guys, you gotta' go guys. Bye guys.


Hope you like this chapter...

So this is replacing Hero of Cheeze, eh? Well, at least it seems to have a better plot. Plus, I love Tingle!! You need to give him more speaking parts.In total of all your chapters I give it..... 4/5. It's good, but you can do better. I know it'll improve as you continue. So... *waits*

The last chap. is four, not 5. Overall though, IT'S HILARIOUS!

OKe oke. New chapter.

Chapter 5: Forsaken Fortress Part 1

On the deck of the Pirate ship

Tingle: Pretty lady? Pretty lady? Where are you?

Link: Her name is Tetra, Tingle. And she's mine.

Tingle: I don't know, I think she likes these clothes that I stole from you.

Link: YOU STOLE THOSE FROM ME?!

Tingle: Why yes, yes I did.

Link: I'm so going to kill you.

Tetra: HEY! I'M UP HERE!

*Link and Tingle climb ladder to watch tower*

Tetra: You see that? That's Forsaken Fortress.

*Tetra points to a castle like place full of spot lights*

Link: Well, where's my sister?

Tingle: Yeah, where is she?

Tetra: I'm not- HEY! There's a bunch of birds crapping on that moblin! ahahahhahahahah!

Link: Wait, those are seagulls! My sister loves seagulls! And the way she cooks them is just great!

Tingle: You eat seagulls?

Link: There's nothing else to eat, besides people.

Tingle: And you thought I was crazy. *Eat a bomb*

Tetra: Now, if only there was a way to get up there...

*Five minutes later, Link is stuffed in a barrel*

Link: What the- HOW DID I GET IN HERE?!

Tingle (muffled): Well at least your on top.

Link: Oh no, Tetra! What are you doing?

Tetra: I'm just going to send you flying at Forsaken Fortress, where if we miss, you could smash into the wall and die a horrible death.

Link: Ok, I thought you were doing something dangerous. Wait- WHAT?!

Tetra: Bye!

Tingle: NO!!!! I LEFT MY MONEY!

*Sent flying into the wall of Forsaken Fortress, where Link loses his sword, and Tingle loses his balloon. Link and Tingle fall into the small lake below, but climb out. But then Link's pocket starts shaking, and Link pulls out a necklace*

Link: How did this get in here?

Tingle: You wear girl's jewlery?

Link: Nope... At least I don't think I do.

Tetra: Looks like we missed. We were supposed to send you into the spikes! STUPID STUPID GONZO!

Gonzo: Sorry...

Tetra: And your sword landed all the way up there... Oh well, sucks to be you!

Link: I hate my life.

Tingle: I love my life.

Link: Don't you care that nobody likes you?

Tingle: EVERYONE LOVES TINGLE!

Link: Name five people that do.

Tingle: Uh... um...... Hyrule144!

Link: OMG! YOU BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!!

Tingle: Hey, while we were talking, we walked up those stairs.

Link: WELL NO DUH!

Tingle: And now there's a big room with spot lights and OOH! Rupees!

*Tingle runs out to get rupees, and is almost caught in a spotlight, until Link pulls him out of the way*

Link: Wow. These people must be really blind if they need a stupid spotlight to see a bright outside.

Tingle: Most people are stupid.

Link: Including you?

Tingle: Yes-No-MAYBE!!!

Link: Okey dokey then.

*They cross the room by sticking to the wall, and making it through the door*

Link: Now we have to go up to the very top!

Tingle: Ok then, but we need to be very very quite!

Link: LIKE THIS?!

Tingle: You really are the retard, not me.

Link: Yeah, whatever. Let's just go.

Bleh, not one of my better chapters...

Also, fixed chapter numbers. Thanks.

Originally Posted by Stoopidmahn

Tingle: Uh... um...... Hyrule144!

Cameos are... well mentions of people, are fun! I'm glad that you split up the Forsaken Fortress, it gives room for content. Like you said, not one of your best chapters, 3.5/5. I don't really like the fact that Tingle is greedy in this, but at least you're not killing him off. *waits*