Link: The hero of... cheeze?

*Somewhere, deep in the lost woods, a dog and a fairy are wandering*

Dog: Come on, stupid fairy

Fairy: Hey, shut up!

Dog: Just hurry up, we need to get this legendary blade to the town.

Fairy: Yes, i know. So then we can find the chosen one, and find the one who can save our land with the "Blade of Evil's bane 2.0".

Dog: Yes, and we don't have time to mess around.\

Fairy: Ok, i'll be back in a second

Dog: We don't have time to- OH MY GOD!

Fairy: DON'T LOOK YOU PERVERT!!

Dog: *Shudders* That's something i didn't want to see....

Fairy: Shut up, fatty. Lets go, before I eat you.

Dog: Jeez, your a violent little fairy, aren't ya?

Fairy: I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR HEAD!

Dog: EEK!
*Dog runs away, and fairy chases*

Dog: Wow... we've been running for hours... and we still haven't found the town...

Fairy: Well maybe if you asked for directions!

Dog: THERES NOBODY TO ASK!!!

Fairy: Oh yeah, excuses excuses.

Dog: PLUS! Humans can't hear me!

Fairy: Yeah, that's what they all say.

Dog: I'm gonna attack you.

Fairy: You wouldn't dare.

*Dogs attacks fairy*

Fairy: OW! That wasen't very nice.

Dog: Well I'm tired of you being so annoying!

Fairy: *Crys*

Dog: *Sigh* Here we go again... Hey, somebody's coming.

Fairy: wha? Who is that?

*A Dark Knight speeds by on a black horse, knocking the fairy and the dog over, and smashing them into a tree*

Dog: *Wakes up* Huh... where... am I???

Kid: *Jumps back* AHHHHHHHHH!!! YOU CAN TALK?!

Dog: WHAT! YOU KIDNAPPED ME! AHHHH! HELP! HELP! Wait... you can understand me?!

Kid: Yeah, why?

Dog: No reason.... whats your name kid, and did you grab my fairy pal?

Kid: My name's Link. And your annoying fairy friend is in a bottle over there.

Dog: *Walks over to bottle* Um... You do know that when you put a fairy in a bottle, your supposed to take the water out first, right?

Link: !!!!!!!!

Fairy: *Half suffocating*

OK, lets try chapter 2.

*After link gets the fairy out of the bottle*

Link: So, how come you can talk, and why are you two wandering around in the forest alone?

Dog: Well, an Oracle once gave me a magical item called the voice of the Hyrulian. It allowed me to talk, but only Hyrulians can hear me. And we were wandering the forest to deliver a sacred blade to Hyrule Castle.

Link: WAIT?! I'm not Hyrulian! I'm just from an unamed town!

Dog: That's strange...

Link: So you never told me what your names are.

Dog: Oh, sorry. I'm scruffles, but you can just call me scruffs.

Link: Scruffles? What kind of name is that?

Scruffs: Shut up. The Oracle of Ages named me!

Fairy: HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME! I'm Naggey.

Link: Wow. You guys sure have strange names. -_-

Naggey: You're one to talk.

Scruffs: So, where's that blade?!

Link: When I found you, there was no blade.

Scruffs: Oh no. This is bad!

Naggey: OH YA! THE ORACLES ARE GONNA' BE MAD!!!

*Knocking on door*

Link: *Opens door to reveal a purple haird girl*

Girl: HEY LINK! GUESS WHAT?!

Link: What is it now, Soria?

Soria: I found a sheathed blade in the forest! But it's too hard to pull it out.

Scruffs: MINE! *Snatches it*

Soria: So when did you get a dog?

Link: Oh! Um.... hahahhahahaha.... uh.... yesterday? OH! I think your mom's calling! By! *Slams door* Phew

Naggey: Oooooh! Somebody has a crush

Link: DON"T MAKE ME SHOVE YOU IN THE BOTTLE AGAIN!

Naggey: Sorry....

Scruffs: This is the sword! This is the ancient blade!

Link: OH.... so i guess you'll be leaving now?

Scruffs: Yes, we have to hurry. Why?

Link: Well, you guys are my only friends...

Naggey: Wow. Your a loner.

Link: *Holds up bottle*

Naggey: EEK!

Link: Hey, its a very long a dangerous road to Hyrule castle, and you guys can't fight!

Scruffs: Oh yeah... hey, can you fight?

Link: Well, i have been learning my swordfighting... I'm not very good...

Scruffs: Well, show me what you can do!

*Link does slashes, spin attack, and jump attack*

Scruffs: That's pretty good. Do you want to come with us to Hyrule castle?

Link: Sure! At least it'll keep me away from Soria!

*Opens door, and Soria is right there*

Soria: OH LINK! I was just staring at your door! You have a very lovely door! I just love your door! Its so nice, and shiny, and refined... HEY! Have I ever told you that your door is very nice?

Link: Oh... My... GOd...

Hahaha! That's pretty funny! I like how the dog gets so angry at Link, and how Link threatens to put the fairy in the bottle again.

I just think it's a little bit rushed though, you know?

Sooo... Metal mouth, you finally decided to come to ZU, hey? (He's my friend form school) Dang, you logged off.... anyways, what do you feel is rushed about it?

Ok! Thanks everyone for not posting.... again.... Like you guys never doo. you never post...

So anyways, to my zero readers, I have but another chapter that, yet again, nobody will read. I don't know why I'm making them... Oh yea! I'm making them for you, no readers!

So Link, Scruffs, and Naggey left off into the forest, on their way to Hyrule field. Yet did they know, somebody was following them…


Person: Link… I need to tell you something…. Link…

Link: Huh? Whas that?

Scruffs: What’s what?

Link: I thought I heard a voice!

Naggey: It was just the wind…

Link: I don’t know…

Person: Link… It’s me.

Link: Wido?

Wido: Yes Link. I heard that you were leaving. Soria told me… Well, here’s a gift from the Maku tree…

*LINK GOT…. Bagpipes?*

Link: Bagpipes?

Wido: Oops, wrong instrument.

*LINK GOT….. and Ipod?*

Link: What’s an Ipod?

Wido: DAMMIT!

*Link got………. The Orcarina of cheese! This Ocarina is made of 100% Mozzerella cheese. YUMMY!*

Link: Cool! Now we have food!

Wido: That’s not food. That’s to play songs that may help you.

Link: Oh…

Soria: LINK! LINK! LINK! I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR DOOR!

Link: Oh my god.

Soria: I even have a song to teach you!

*Soria plays a really bad song*

*YOU LEARNED… THE SONG OF DOORS!*

Link: Uh…. What does it do?

Soria: Oh, that’s easy! It makes it so you can see pictures of you door, and talk to me about your door whenever you want to!

Scruffs: Wow. She is really an Idiot, eh Link?

Soria: Hey Link, your dog’s barking.

Link: I know.

Wido: Yes… barking…

Naggey: LINK! DITCH THE ANNOYING GIRL! WE HAVE TO GO!

Link: Ok, come on Scruffs! Time to go on your leash!

Scruffs: You come near me with a leash, and I swear I will rip your knees off.

Link: EEK!

(BTW, LINK HAS A WOODEN SWORD)

Ok, new episode. Ok? Ok. OK, heres we goes.. OK? OK? OK?! ok.

*So Link, Scruffs, and Naggey are traveling through the forest*

Scruffs: So, Link; do you know where we’re going?

Link: Of course I do!

Naggey: But we passed that rock five times already!

Link: Oh… SHUT UP!

Naggey: Sorry… Don’t put me back in the bottle!

Scruffs: Wait… I smell something.

*2 evil cuckoos jump from the trees and attack Link*

Link: AACK!

*Swings and kills one Cuckoo, the other attacks Link’s face*

Link: AHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

*Naggey jumps at Cuckoo, and gets knocked into tree*

Scruffs: LET ME TRY!

*Jumps at Cuckoo, and bites Link’s face by accident*

Link: AHHHH! IT HURTS!

Scruffs: AHH! MY TEETH ARE STUCK IN YOUR CHEEK!

Naggey: AHH! I’M KNOCKED OUT!

Cuckoo: Wow. These guys are even more demented then me. I’m leaving!

Naggey: HEY! I’M NOT A GUY! Oh wait, I’m knocked out. *Falls over*

Scruffs: Well, at least I haven’t been fixed….

Link: Um…Random….

Scruffs: Well, we were on the subject of girls.

Link: Want me to do it?

Scuffs: OK! LETS JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT RIGHT NOW!

Link: Good plan…Good plan…

Chapter 5: Enter Hyrule Feild

*So Scruffs ran ahead of the group soon after this little… experience…*

Scruffs: HEY! GUYS! I found Hyrule field!

Link: REALLY?!

Naggey: Uh, it’s not that amazing…

Link: I was being sarcastic.

Scruffs: Now, all we have to do is cross this monster infested field to get to the famed New Hyrule Castle, and speak with the princess.

Link: *Looks in field only to see thousands of monsters*

Naggey: Uh, we’re supposed to make our way through that?

Scruffs: It’s the only way.

Link: Crap… That sucks… I guess we should go?

Scruffs: Yes… Let’s go. Hey, were did Naggey go?

Naggey: *Flying away* I’ll meet you at New Hyrule Castle! I just remembered that I can fly!!!!!

Link: OH YOU STUPID LITTLE FAIRY! *Chases*

Scruffs: WAIT! LINK! COME BACK! It could be dangerous!

Link: I’m gonna’ kill you little fairy!

Scruffs: LINK! YOU IDIOT! LOOK OUT FOR THAT CLIFF!

Link: WHOA! *Almost falls off cliff* So, now what do we do?

Scruffs: We have to find a way around…

Deku: Hello! Hello! I’m Deku deku! Who are you? I do not care! Who who who! What shall it you want it?

Link: Whaaaaat?

Deku 2: I’m Deku Deku number two! Need a bridge? You buy a bridge? Only 222 rupees!

Deku 3: Is that I deal I here? Deku deku 3 is in rear! Time to get a deal for you! Just remember, it’s only 222!

Deku 1: 222?! Great deal! 222 is better then 224! Better better better! Better then butter! Better then chedder! Better then cheese….

Deku 2: Ok! Ok! Here ya’ go! Here’s your lovely bridge, now pay me my 222! *Reaches in pocket to find that the giant bridge is gone* Huh? Bridgey oh bridgey? Where art thou gone?

Deku 3: Hey? Where art thou child and thou dog?

*Link and Scruffs stole the bridge and ran over the cliff*

Link: So just a question, but why did those freaky pieces of wood have a giant bridge in their pockets? And how?

Scruffs: Don’t ask me. It’s uh, magic?

Link: OOH! ME LIKEY MAGIC!

Scruffs: T_T

Okey, Big, not very funny chapter

Chapter 6: The story really begins
*At New Hyrule Castle*

Naggey: PRINCESS! Oh, we’ve finally found you!

Princess: Naggey? Were is Scruffs? And the sacred blade? Didn’t the Oracle of Ages send you to bring me that blade so that I can find the hero, or the wielder of it?

Naggey: Oh, yes Princess! Nayru sent us! Scruffs and a boy named Link are on their way right now!

Princess: Link? This is turning out just like it has in the past, many times… A hero named Link must find a way to save the land from the incoming evil… The Gannondorf, wieldier of the Triforce of power… And there’s Link, the wielder of the Triforce of Courage. And finally, the Princess, wielder of the Triforce of Wisdom. *Looks at hand, which has a glowing Triforce on it*

Naggey: Princess? Princess Zelda? Are you ok?

Zelda: Yes… I’m just thinking about the prophecy…

Naggey: What’s wrong?

Zelda: It’s just like the past…

Naggey: Yes… and it’s strange… I’m friends with a boy named Link, just like my ancestor Navi was…

Zelda: So that’s were you get the annoyingness from.

Naggey: SHUT UP!

*A loud explosion from the garden*

Zelda: What was that?!

Naggey: It sounded like it came from the garden! Isn’t that where the great evil was sealed?

Zelda: Two great evils were sealed inside the monument to the Hero of Winds!

Naggey: LETS GO!

*Run down to garden, only to find that the guards are all dead, and that the monument is destroyed*

Zelda: WHO DID THIS?

???: We did.

*Gannondorf appears*

???: Yes, the evils that have once again, been awoken.

*Vaati appears*

Zelda: You two are the evils from years ago!

Naggey: But why are you working together?

Vaati: While we were sealed, the Triforce of Power split into two halves. One stayed in him, and the other came to me.

Gannondorf: Then we found out that we both want more power, and the other two pieces of the Triforce.

Vaati: So we teamed up and used our power to break free of our prison, and the seal was weakened because the eight monuments have not been brought back this year yet.

Zelda: OH NO! I was too busy playing MapleStory to get the monuments!

Vaati: Now prepare to die!

Link: NO! STOP!

Naggey: LINK! SCRUFFS!

Link: *Stands in front of Zelda* Don’t worry Princess, I won’t let them hurt you!

Vaati: “Burns Link’s blade*

Link: OH NO! What do I do now?

Scruffs: We need a new blade!

Zelda: Link, let me see your hand!

*Grabs Link’s hand, and sees Triforce on it*

Zelda: Take this blade Link, you are the hero. You have the Triforce of Courage!

Link: OH. I thought that was just a prank somebody pulled on me, and the ink wouldn’t wash off….

Scruffs: Just take the blade.

YOU GOT, THE SWORD OF CHEESE! THIS LEGENDARY BLADE IS MADE OUT OF HARDENED CHEESE! ONLY A TRUE WARRIOR CAN WEILD IT, AND IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN DESTROY TRUE EVIL!

Zelda: You must find the eight monuments to seal Vaati and Gannondorf once more!

Link: But why are you telling me this now?

Zelda: Because, I cannot allow you to get hurt.

*Knocks Link, Scruffs, and Naggey unconscious*

*Gannondorf grabs Zelda*

Gannondorf: Let’s go, Vaati!

*Fly’s away*

Zelda: Goodbye Link… And good luck….

Chapter 7: The moldy cheeses of FATE!

*Link wakes up two hours later, and Impa is standing over him*

Link: What happened?

Impa: Zelda was taken away by those creeps, and she stopped you from being killed…

Link: Wait, who are you?

Impa: I am Impa. Haven’t you seen me in the supermodel magazines?

Link: Oh! I saw you in that fattest fatty of the year magazine!

Impa: Oh….. >=(

Link: Sorry… So, where’s Scruffs and Naggey?

Impa: Over there…. Sleeping…

Link: Oh… So what was Zelda talking about with me being the Hero and giving me this cheese sword?

Impa: Over the years, there have been many heroes. There was the Hero of Time, who stopped Gannondorf. Then there was the Hero of Winds, who stopped him once more. Then there was the Hero of Four, who stopped Vaati. Now it’s your turn to be that hero, and defeat Gannondorf and Vaati, and become the Hero of Cheese!

Link: Why cheese?

Impa: We couldn’t think of any better names…

Link: Oh… And what about these monuments?

Impa: There are eight monuments that hold the power to seal the great evils once they are together. These eight monuments are Feta, Swiss, Gouda, Limburger, Cheddar, Cream, Blue, and Marble.

Link: So they’re named after cheeses?

Impa: Actually, they are cheeses!

Link: Ewww…. So there’s moldy cheeses around the world?

Impa: Yes! And you must find them!

Link: Uh, why again?

Impa: So that you can find the princess, and save her!

Link: What does that have anything to do with cheeses?

Impa: Duh! First of all, they weaken the dark ones, and second, when you defeat them, you must seal them in the cheeses!

Link: So where are these moldy cheeses?

Impa: In the eight temples.

Link: That narrows it down *Sarcastically*

Impa: They’re in Labrynna, Holodrum, Termina, the great sea, the abandoned Windfall Island, Death mountain, the seventh Deku Tree, and the Temple of Time.

Link: Oh… So which one do I get first?

Impa: I’d say, the ones on the great sea. There’s some pirates that can take you around. Just talk to fishey the fisher.

Link: Fishey the fisher?

Impa: Yes, Fishey the fisher

Link: Does he smell like fish?

Impa: Why yes. Oh, you can also speak to the muffin man.

Link: The muffin man?

Impa: Yes, the muffin man

Link: Does he live on druery lane?

Impa: WHY YES! THE MUFFIN MAN LIVES ON DRUERY LANE IN THE OLD PORT BESIDE FISHEY THE FISHER WHO SMELLS LIKE FISH!

Link: I think I broke my brain.

BTW: If all the posts here keep on getting deleted, and people don't post usefull stuff, I might close it...

This is like an odd mix of Zelda games with some randomness... and strangely, I like it. You could check over your work though. I see things like where spelled as were. I await the next chapter. I want to see Fishey the Fisherman who Smells like fish. *waits*

WHOOO! POSTS! POSTS! *My precious posts*

It's so nice in here now! I'm not alone! I"M NOT ALONE!!!

Already a new chapter, because I got really really bored:

Chapter 8: Uh, welcome to Port Hyrule

*Scruffs and Naggey wake up*

Scruffs: Zelda is gone, isn’t she…?

Naggey: She’d better be! She was going on about fate again. Jeez, she’s so corny!

Scruffs: DON’T TALK ABOUT THE PRINCESS LIKE THAT!

Naggey: Why? She thinks she’s so popular, and she thinks that she’s so pretty. She always gets all the boy, and *Goes on about high school girl stuff*

Scruffs: Ok then. I’m just going to go talk to Link…

Link: So, you’re awake. We have to go around and find some moldy cheeses.

Scruffs: Ewwww… Moldy Cheeses?

Link: We already did that joke.

Scruffs: ooooooooooooooooooh…. I’ll just shut up now…

Naggey: And she’s so pretty, and blah blah blah

Link: So, does she ever shut up?

Scruffs: No. Let’s just go. Where to?

Link: We have to go to Port Hyrule.

Scruffs: Oh, so we’re heading out onto the great sea?

Link: Yep! We need to talk to fishey the fisher who smells like fish.

Scruffs: Fishey the- wait, was this joke done too?

Link: Yep… Yes it was…

Scruffs: Ok, then lets go!

*On the way to Port Hyrule*

Naggey: Hey! Did I ever tell you that Zelda is blah blah blah?

Scruffs: Want to run?

Link: Ooooh yea!

*Run there*

*At Port Hyrule*

Fishey the fisher: Ello, dearies… What would you like?

Link: I was told to talk to you about pirates…

FtF: Oh yes, do you have a flute?

Link: No, but I have an ocarina!

Ftf: you know, back in my day we didn’t have ocarinas, and…

Link: Just teach me the song

*Pulls out Ocarina of Cheese, which is all stinky and moldy*

Link: Eeeew…..

FtF: *Plays pirates of the carribean song*

Link: *Copies*

FtF: STOP COPYING ME!

Link: You told me too!

FtF: Oh yeah.

Black Pearl: *Comes up to dock*

Jack Sparrow: You call?

FtF: That’s the song of sailing! Use it to call these pirates to take you around the Great Sea!

*YOU LEARNED THE SONG OF SAILING!*

Jack Sparrow: Come aboard, and we’ll have some rum!

Link: I’m to young to drink… *Steps on board* But oh well!

Jack Sparrow: ooooh! You so gonna’ get cursed now!

Moon: *Comes out*

Link: *turns into skeleton*

Scruffs: HA HA!

Naggey: Uh, you’re a skeleton too.

Scruffs: Yah? Well you’re a freak!

Naggey: *Cries*

Jack Sparrow...cool. This is random. I wonder what cameos will happen next? Capitan Barbosa? Was the skeleton thing at the end a joke or was it a plot thing?

It was kinda both. This is just a random Zelda thing made of a mix of a bunch of things.

Termina: (New) from Majora's Mask
8 Monuments: 2D games
Labrynna, Holodrum: (NEW): Oracle games
Vaati: FOur swords
Gannon: OoT
Zelda, Naggey: OoT
Pirates: PotC (parody of WW pirates)
Great sea, windfall: WW

YA! Another Ammazzing chapter (not really)

Chapter 9: Journey on the black Pearl

*On board the Black Pearl*

Link: So, how long do I have to be a skeleton for?

J.S.: Until we find the end to the curse

Link: Wait, but you didn’t re-become the captain of the Black Pearl until after the curse was over!

J.S: Yeah, well- wait, how do you know that?

Link: I watched all three movies

J.S: Oh… So I don’t know. Maybe you should get the first cheese?

Link: Where is the first cheese, Scruffs?

Scruffs: Ask Naggey. She has the map.

Naggey: WHY CAN’T YOU EVER DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF?! IT’S ALWAYS ASK NAGGEY! ASK HER! ASK THE STUPID FAIRY! WELL I’M TIRED OF IT!

Link: What’s her problem?

Scruffs: She’s mad that she didn’t become a skeleton

Link: Do you even have bones?

Naggey: I don’t know

Link: *Smashed Naggey with sword*

Naggey: *Dead*

Link: Hey, I think I killed her… Eww! There’s a puddle of blood. And it doesn’t stop coming out…

Scruffs: So, Jack, where is the first cheese piece?

J.S: It’s Feta, and it’s on the deserted Windfall Island… *Hic* Oops! I’m *Hic* Getting drunk!

Link (In background): OH NO! THE BLOOD IS RISING! AHHH! DROWNING IN BLOOD!

Scruffs: Abandoned Windfall Island? Where’s that?

J.S: *Hic* I think *hic* it’s somewhere *hic* on the great sea

Scruffs: T_T

Link (Still in background) OMG! NAGGEY! YOU’RE ALIVE! Naggey? NAGGEY!

Naggey (In background): Brains! Brains!

Link (In background): Oh my gosh! Get away from me!

Scruffs: So where is the feta?

J.S.: Its *hic* inside the old windmill… *hic* it’s a hard dungeon

Scruffs: How do you know?

J.S: I *Hic* Read the game manual

Scruffs: This is a game?

J.S: I don’t know, I’m drunk! Oops, I mean I *Hic* don’t know, I’m *hic* drunk!

Link: AH! Don’t eat my brains! I was just checking if you had bones!

Naggey: Gotcha! Ha ha ha! I can’t die, I’m a fairy!

Link: *Shoves Naggey in bottle filled with lava*

Naggey: AHHH! IT BURNS! I WISH I COULD DIE RIGHT NOW!

Scruffs: Where did you get the lava?

Link: I don’t know…

Naggey: *Is let out* I need some ice Link, can I chip it off your heart?

Link: *Shoves her back in bottle*

J.S: Ok, *hic*, we’re almost there!

Scruffs: Great… Wanna’ pass some rum?

J.S: MY RUM!

Scruffs: Sorry…

J.S: You’d better be!

Scruffs: Ok then…