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| View Poll Results: So, how is it so far? | |||
| WOW! This is incredibly funny! I love it! |
   
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12 | 35.29% |
| Hey, that's pretty good! |
  
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16 | 47.06% |
| Eh, it's alright, I guess. |
  
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2 | 5.88% |
| Could use a little work... |
  
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2 | 5.88% |
| Could use a lot of work... |
  
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1 | 2.94% |
| Not good at all! |
  
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0 | 0% |
| OMG This is absolutely HORRIBLE!! |
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1 | 2.94% |
| Voters: 34. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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#1
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06-13-2007, 02:28 PM
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(com) Majora's Mask Parody (T)
Yo, I thought I'd try my hand at writing a humorous parody of my favorite Zelda game, Majora's Mask. I've not really writen any comedic stories before, so this is my first time. I hope you like it, and I hope it's funny. It's pretty crazy at times with lots of character stupidity and overall eccentricness. And the "T" rating is there for a reason. Well, several reasons actually
 And for future reference, things in ()s are thoughts. Anyway, enjoy... _____________________________________________ Prologue In some strange forest, Link begins his journey to find whoever parted ways with him in his last adventure through space and time… Or was it just time? I think it was just time. Let’s leave it at that. Link: Hmm… *stops Epona* *looks around aimlessly* Link: …Where am I? *rides off again for a while* *stops and looks around once more* Link: …What am I doing again? *shrugs* Oh, well, getting lost in the woods is always fun. *rides off* Meanwhile, secretly following him is a masked Skull Kid by the name of… Erm, Skull Kid along with his crew, the fairy siblings Tatl and Tael. Tael: Dude, did you guys hear that? Tatl: Huh? What? Skull Kid: *shrugs* Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t care. Tael: Dude, it totally sounded like some… I dunno, cheesy narrator or somethin’. Tatl: What did it say? (Like I really care...) Tael: It said, “Meanwhile, secretly following him is a masked Skull Kid by the name of… Erm, Skull Kid along with his crew, the fairy siblings Tatl and Tael.” Pretty freakin’ weird, huh? It’s talkin’ ‘bout us, man! Skull Kid: You’re delusional, Tael. Tatl: …Look, we’ve went over this before time and time again; YOU. ARE. CRAZY! Tael: Yeah, but dude, I could have sworn I- Skull Kid: Just shut the hell up and do my bid- er, I mean “favor”. *Skull Kid points at Link and Epona in the distance* Skull Kid: See that guy on the red pony thing? I want you to- Hey, where’re ya going!?! Tael: To check out that voice! Skull Kid: WAIT!!! Ow, crap, he’s gone. TATL! Tatl: YES, YOUR HIGHNESS!!! Skull Kid: Fetch me your psychotic brother AT ONCE!!! Tatl: YES, SIR!!! *flies off* Tatl: *whispers* Stupid ugly wooden dead kid thing that likes to think he’s the freakin’ boss of us! He was all cool and all at first, until he stole that mask. I told him that mask had strange, evil powers but NOOOOOOO! He had to go and steal it from that weird maskophile guy and become all possessed and stuff. Now he acts all high and mighty, like he could destroy the world any minute with the- *flies in front of Epona* *turns in surprise and screams* Epona: (HOLY CRAP!!!) *bucks and throws Link off her back* Link: WAAAHHH! *hits nearby tree* *falls and hits his head on a large rock* *is knocked unconscious* Skull Kid then approaches the unconscious Link and starts digging in his stuff. Skull Kid: Nice job, Tatl. And for that, I may actually feed you today. Tatl: Gee, thanks a lot. Skull Kid: Ooh! What have we here? *pulls out bow* Skull Kid: *plucks string* Boring *tosses bow* *pulls out boomerang* Skull Kid: Hmm… *throws boomerang* Tael: *off in the distance* Where are you, narrator voice dude! *gets caught on boomerang* *boomerang retruns to Skull Kid* Skull Kid: THERE you are! Tael: Dude, that was fun, man! Do it again! Skull Kid: Well, if you really liked it so much… No. *Tosses boomerang away* Tael: *sulks* Skull Kid: *pulls out deku sticks* Meh. Good for whacking people with. *whacks Tatl* Tatl: Ow, that hurt, you son of a- *whacks Tatl again* Tatl: … Skull Kid: How DARE you almost call me that! *whacks Tael* *deku stick breaks* Tael: Owchies, man… *cries* Skull Kid: WHAT!?! They BREAK! Ugh! *tosses piece of deku stick* *pulls out Ocarina of Time* Skull Kid: Ooh! *toots on Ocarina* Skull Kid: Heheeheheehehayahahaha! *toots on Ocarina* Skull Kid: Heheeheheehehayahahaha! *toots on Ocarina* Skull Kid: Heheeheheehehayahahaha! *toots on Ocarina* Skull Kid: Heheeheheehehayahahaha! Tatl: I wonder when he’ll stop? Tael: Dunno, but it is pretty funny watching him play random notes on that blue potato. Especially since he’s wearing a mask. How do you play that through that mask, anyway, dude? There’s no mouth hole. Tatl:… How is he doing that? Link: *getting up* Ow, my head. What just hap- *hears Skull Kid playing horribly on his Ocarina* Tatl and Tael: Ding ding ding ding! Skull Kid: Ding ding, wuh? What the hell was that? Tatl and Tael: Look out behind you! Skull Kid: Behind me? What could possibly be- *turns around and sees Link* Skull Kid: Wah! *looks at Ocarina* *quickly hides it behind his back* Link: Do you think I’m some kinda idiot, or- Skull Kid: What Ocarina? Link: …! *tries to tackle Skull Kid* Skull Kid: *poof!* Link: What the- Skull Kid: *falls down and lands on Epona* Giddy up, ya stupid horse! *strange energy radiates from his mask* Epona: (Yeeeees, maaaaaaster) *begins to run* *Link jumps and grabs on to Epona’s hind end* Link: Ow! *smack* Ouch! *smack* Ack! *smack* Oui! Epona: *FART* Link: *sniff* ARGH!!! *smack* Ow, That’s just not right! *smack* Skull Kid: Haha, now THAT’S some serious comedy there! Tatl: Too cliché. I saw it coming the minute he jumped on. Skull Kid: … Shut up! Tael: Hahaha, lolzers! Link: Agh! *smack* Oof! *sees big rock up ahead* Link: Oh crap! *SMAAAAAAASH!!!* *gets knocked off Epona* *rolls around on the ground* *hits a giant stump* Link: *getting up* Woah… What just happened!?! *looks around* Link: It seems that weird mask-wearing guy disappeared. Along with my horse… My horse! That bastard! He’s gonna pay! And so Link, with many a fancy somersault, jumped the many giant stumps necessary to progress through the gam- I mean, story. What will happen to Link? Where will he go? Who in the world cares!?! Find out on the next episode of… Wait, that’s not right. I mean, “Chapter”, yes, find out in the next “chapter”. ____________________________________________ Well there you have it. This'll give you an idea of what the story will be like. If you thought this part wasn't very funny, the next chapter will be. (It's kinda hard to get the humor going good at the start) If you thought this was funny, then the next chapters should be funnier still. Any and all constructive criticism is welcome.
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  Last edited by Yottabyte; 07-20-2007 at 11:45 AM. 
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#2
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06-13-2007, 10:13 PM
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Re: (com/act.) Majora's Mask Parody (T)
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 Last edited by theGA/\/\Er; 06-13-2007 at 10:30 PM.
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#3
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06-14-2007, 08:18 AM
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Re: (com/act.) Majora's Mask Parody (T)
Your wish is granted!
______________________ Chapter 1: A Wooden Fate Link: *approaching cave* Hey, look! A cave! I bet that’s where that guy went! *runs into pitch black cave* *suddenly realizes that he’s falling* Link: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! *Sees neon images of random things like masks, clocks, ocarinas, etc.* Link: … I knew I shouldn’t have bought those mushrooms from that mustached- *SLAM!* Link: *gets up and looks around* Then, bright spotlights began to shine on Link, blinding him temporarily. Link: *Shielding eyes* Agh! What the…? Skull Kid: Well, well, well, look who dropped in! Tatl: *cough* LAME JOKE *cough* Skull Kid: *Smacks Tatl* Link: *Eyes begin to adjust* Hey, it’s you! Give me back my horse! Skull Kid: Oh, THAT worthless thing? Pfft! That lazy-ass horse won’t do a single thing said to it. So I thought I’d do you a good deed and simply killed it. Link: GASP! Skull Kid: PffffHAAAAhahahahahahahahahaaahahayeehahahehehahae haehaheheahhahehehaeha Link: … Tatl: … Tael: Oh, no, man, ya didn’t! Not that poor little horse! *cries* Tatl: *nudges Tael* You moron, he’s just joking! Link: Oh, phew! Thank goddesses. Skull Kid: *Smacks Tael* Thanks for ruining my chance to watch a guy emotionally suffer. Tatl: No problem. Skull Kid: … *Smacks Tatl* Tatl: … Link: So, if she’s not dead, then what did you do with her? Skull Kid: Terrible, horrible, insane, sick, twisted, perverted, awful, nasty, unheard of things a mind as pure as yours could not BEGIN to COMPREHEND! Tael: Dude, I thought you just sent it to Ramoni Ranch Animal Shelter. Skull Kid: *Smacks Tatl* Tatl: Ow! That was Tael, you son of a- Skull Kid: *Smacks Tatl* Tatl: Grr… I hate you. Skull Kid: That’s a relief. Now, as I was saying- Link: *charges at Skull Kid* HYAAAAAH! Then, as Link was about to open up a extra large can of “Deluxe Hylian Whoop-Ass®” upon the crazy imp, Skull Kid twisted his head back and forth, made a weird energy thing and made Link go into a deep trance-like state… Tael: Deluxe Hylian Whoop-Ass®? Sounds cool, man! Tatl: Who are you talking to, idiot? Tael: The Narrator! Tatl: A.K.A “The Voices in your Head”? Tael: Uh-huh! … Wait, wha? ~~~~~~~~ Link: Whoa, blackness. Complete and utter… Blackness. I'm not trippin' again, am I? Ugh, I'm really regreating those- Deku Scrub: Hiya! Link: WAAAAH!!! HOLY-! Deku Scrub 2: Hiya! Link: No… No… Deku Scrub 24: Hiya! Link: *puts head in his hands* NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Millions of Deku Scrubs: Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Link: GET BACK!!! GET BAAAAAACK!!!! *Runs off in fear (yes, the wielder of the Triforce of Courage is actually scared)* *Looks back* Link: A-Are they gone? Ridiculously Huge Deku Scrub: HIYA! Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ~~~~~~~~ *Wakes up from evil magic-induced trance* Link: Whoa! I just had this TERRIBLE dream! I was being chased by a bunch of Deku scrubs, and then this really really huge one appeared and I was all like “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” and stuff! Skull Kid: Yeah, that usually happens during the transfiguration stage. Link: Come again…? Skull Kid: Just look at that pool of water over there. Link: *walks over to pool* Hey! I can walk on water! Tatl: That’s just a shallow puddle, moron. Link: Oh, so there really isn’t a Deku scrub that bares a striking resemblance to moi under me, is there? Tatl: Uh, no. Link: … Oh… AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! *Starts running and screaming* Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I’m a freakin DEKU SCRUB!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH Skull Kid: Alright, this is getting REALLY old. Let’s go push an old hag off a cliff, shall we? Tatl: Eh, sure, why not? Like I have a choice or anything… Tael: Heheh, lolzers! This’ll be hilarious! Skull Kid: Hehehehaehehehehahehehaehyeehehehehehehehheheeeheh eehehhheee! *very slowly floats backwards out of the door* Tael: Yo, Tatl, ya comin’ dude? Tatl: *Smacks Deku Link in the face* Just a minute, I need to vent my anger on this guy! Tael: But sis! The door’s gonna- *SLAM!* Tatl: TAEL!!! Great… Now I’m forever cut off from my idiot brother and stuck with a weird Deku scrub guy. Deku Link: De-De-Deku scrub!?! *starts running in a frantic frenzy screaming* Tatl: Knock it off, already! *Smacks Link* Deku Link: Hey, that didn’t hurt! Tatl: No, duh! You’re a plant now. Deku Link: Hmm… *rubs chin thoughtfully* I guess there are some advantages of being a Deku scrub! Tatl: Very good, guy! Now that you’ve stated the obvious, OPEN THE FRIGGIN DOOR FOR ME, DAMNIT! Deku Link: My, I’ve never heard such language! Tatl: Shut up and open the door already. Deku Link: OK, OK, jeez. *opens door* Tatl: Whoa, how’d you do that? Deku Link: What, open the door? Tatl: You did it without lifting a finger! Deku Link: Well, I did have to press A. Tatl:… What? Deku Link: Never mind. C’mon, I gotta get my Ocarina back! Tatl: What’s so special about that ocarina, anywho? It’s just a stupid little flute-thing that’s ultimately pointless. Deku Link: POINTLESS!?! I’ll have you know that the Princess of Hyrule gave that stupid little flute thing to me! Tatl: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. Deku Link: And you wanna know why? Tatl: Do tell, do tell [/sarcasm, yo] Deku Link: It’s because she’s crazy about me… Tatl: What difference does that make? Deku Link: *Shrugs* Tatl: Well, since Skull Kid had something we both need, or in your case “want”, and we both hate his guts- Deku Link: Or in my case “the fact that he turned me into the into the only thing that I fear”! Tatl: … OK, so I was thinking we should ban together, form an alliance so-to-speak, and vanquish the evil that is “SKULL KID”! Deku Link: YEAH! Just don’t smack me again, ‘kay? Tatl: Yeah, sure, whatever, now lets GOOOOOO!!!! Deku Link: Al-freakin-RIGHT! And so the newly transfigured Link and the beautiful fairy Tatl join forces for a common goal: to get back what the damn Skull Kid took away from them, plus to inflict as much pain on him as possible. Will they succeed? Will they get along OK? Will I keep writing this parody? Stay tuned to find out! Tael: There’s that narrator again! Skull Kid: *Smacks Tatl* Tatl: HOW THE HELL!?! Sigh… Deku Link: … Huh? ______________________ So, how is it? Funnier than the last? Not as funny? Any form of feedback would be greatly appreciated.
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#4
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06-14-2007, 11:43 AM
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Re: (com/act.) Majora's Mask Parody (T)
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I think it's a lot better than the prolouge, keep up the good work.
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#5
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06-14-2007, 11:43 AM
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Re: (com/act.) Majora's Mask Parody (T)
Oh, this was funny. I liked the bit where Skull Kid was playing the 'blue potato' in the Prologue. xD I'll look forward to seeing the next chapter of this.
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You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you? My allegiance lies with Majora's Mask. Pulvis et umbra sumus.
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#7
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06-14-2007, 03:08 PM
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Re: (com/act.) Majora's Mask Parody (T)
Bolded names = awesome!
Anyways, this is very, very well done. Great job, Yottabyte; definitely continue with this one, okay? This has lotsa potential I would suggest not putting in lines where a character begins swearing but is cut off, like "You son of a-" It's not that funny when used repeatedly >_> But all your jokes are very original and quite funny. Looking forward to more. 
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   My OOT Parody Thread. "Chapter 68: The Shadow Temple, Part IV- It's Hard to Get a Tan When There's No Sun Anyways" has been posted 4/13/08. [Best Parody Fic S07/W08]
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#8
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06-14-2007, 03:31 PM
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Re: (com/act.) Majora's Mask Parody (T)
Wow, people like it! I happy now!
 And Grass, thanks for the advice, I'll keep it in mind. (by the way, LOVE YOUR OOT PARODY!) Anyway, thought I'd post yet another chapter! w00t... ________________________ Chapter 2: Wood-Boy’s Destiny Deku Link and Tatl are proceeding through the cave with doors. Deku Link: *checks back* Hey, where’re my sword and shield? Did that Skull Kid guy take that from me as well? Tatl: I don’t think so, unless he’s ploting to decapitate everybody in Clock Town, but of course, that would render his “Soopuh Granddady Mastuh Plan of the Millennium” utterly pointless. Deku Link: What’s this “Super Granddaddy Master Plan of the… whatever”? Tatl: This is the codename of his plan to wipe out the world by hurling the moon into Clock Town. Deku Link: Wait, hold up; wouldn’t that wipe him out as well? Tatl: That’s what I’ve been telling him these past couple of days, but does he listen? Deku Link: Well, obvi- Tatl: NO! HELL FRIGGIN NO! OF COURSE NOT! Deku Link: A simple and polite “No” would have substituted nicely. Tatl: Yeah, you’re right… But, how did you get so calm and less dumbass-like all of a sudden? Deku Link: *shrugs* Dunno. Must be the fact that I can’t feel pain. *walks by a lighted torch* *catches fire* Deku Link: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I’M ON FIRE! I’M ON FREAKIN FIRE!!! Tatl: OK, just shut up, stop, drop, and roll. Got it? Deku Link: *Jumps in random puddle* Ahh… *sizzle sizzle* Tatl: … Or that. Moving along, Deku Link and Tatl come across a subterranean chasm. Deku Link: Hey, look! A subterranean chasm! Tatl: Thanks, Captain Obvious. Deku Link: Any time! Say, I used to call my old fairy friend Captain Obvious. Tatl: You mean you had friends? Deku Link: Yeah, some are still my friends. Anyway, how are we gonna cross the subterranean chasm? Tatl: DING DING DING! Deku Link: AND LITTLE MAC WINS AGAIN!! Tatl: ... What!?! No, no, DING DING DING!! Deku Link: Wait, lemme guess, I got this. Tatl: *hovers around nearby Deku flower* DING DING DING! Deku Link: Ooh, ooh, I love charades! You’re a… Uh, bee? A fly? Tatl: No, idiot! It’s a hint, DING DING DING!!! Deku Link: How are you making that sound, any- Tatl: IT’S A HINT!!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO USE THIS FLOWER TO CROSS! Deku Link: Well, you could’ve just said so. Tatl: Yeah, I think that’s what I’m gonna do from now on. Deku Link: Good idea. *Sinks into Flower* *Pops out with two giant flowers* Deku Link: AWESOME!!! *Flies to the other side* Tatl: Hey, a chest! Deku Link: Really… *Link opens chest* DAH DAH DAH DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You got Deku’s Nuts! Throw them at enemies to piss them off! Or throw them on the ground to make a blinding flash that would more than likely blind the user. Also while flying with two giant spinning flowers you can crap them out onto your enemies to piss them off, and the funny thing is that they probably can’t do anything about it! And if they could you’re probably dead meat, or in your case, wood! Ultimately rendering this item completely pointless! Deku Link: … Tatl: What’s the matter? Deku Link: I dunno, it’s just that… Well, as a human I thought nothing of Deku’s nuts, but actually being a Deku, it’s just… Awkward… Ya know what I mean? Tatl: … Deku Link: Think about it, I’m holding in my hand a Deku’s nuts… Tatl: …? Deku Link: C’mon, it isn’t that hard to figure out… Tatl: … EWW! GROSS! GET RID OF THEM! Deku Link: *Throws Deku’s Nuts into the chasm* That feels much better. Man, I’d hate having my- Tatl: OK can we just forget this whole thing and continue!?! Deku Link: Yeah, sure, don’t see why not? And so Deku Link and Tatl continue through the cave… Tatl: WHOOOOOOOOA!!! Deku Link: What is it? Tatl: That tree! Deku Link: What tre- Oh! Tatl: It looks surprisingly similar to you… How sad… Deku Link: Ooh, that was soooo cold! Tatl: Haha! Skull Kid: *Smacks Tatl* Tatl: HOW DOES THAT KEEP HAPPENING!! Deku Link: … Let’s go. So finally Deku Link and Tatl come across the exit… Deku Link: *Walks through swirly room* I think I’m gonna be sick! *Walks through cast iron door, and it closes tightly behind him* Deku Link: *turns around* Huh!?! *bangs door* Tatl: Uh, what are you doing? Deku Link: WE’RE TRAPPED!! Tatl: Uh, no. Deku Link: Well then, where are- *sniff* Deku Link: Aw, Tatl! That was awful! Augh! *cough cough* Tatl: Uh, no. Turn around. Deku Link: *turns around* *suddenly realizes he’s in a sewer* Tatl: We’re in a sewer, idiot. Deku Link: What’s a sewer? Tatl: What? You mean to tell me you don’t know what a sewer is? Deku Link: *shrugs* Tatl: *explains to Link in great detail what a sewer is, how it works, the history behind sewers, etc. Deku Link: Huh. That’s pretty clever. Back where I come from we take our dumps in chamber pots and chuck the crap out into the streets, or at least that’s what they do in Hyurle Castle Town. Don’t wanna travel the back allies, whew! Oh, hell no! Tatl: That’s just… Wrong, on soooo many levels. Where are you from, anyway? Deku Link: … Uh, Hyrule, I think. Tatl: I kinda guessed that already, but, OK. So the dynamic duo goes to the top level of the sewers… Deku Link: Hey look a door! Tatl: O rly? Mysterious Voice from Behind: ya rly! Deku Link: *turns around* no wai! Happy Mask Salesman: Ya srsly… Deku Link: WAAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAAAAA!!!!! Happy Mask Salesman: Eh? Me confused... Deku Link: Where the...? What the...? Wait how did...? Where did you come from? Were you following us? Happy Mask Salemsan: Uh, Ya, ya. Me follow wood boy and glowing ball with wings. Tatl: AHEM! Happy Mask Salesman: Oh, ahh, ya, me see. You magical firefly! Tatl: Grr… Happy Mask Salesman: Anywho, I stalk wood boy and glowing bug. Deku Link: … Stalked? Happy Mask Salesman: Saw what happened to Wood boy, ya? Got cursed, ya? Deku Link: Oui oui! Tatl: I’m not a bug, you- Happy Mask Salesman: You see masked skull of kid, ya? Deku Link: Skull of kid? He must mean that SKULL KID that put that CURSE on ME! Tatl: You’re a real genius… Happy Mask Salesman: Tank you many much! As was I say, dat skull of kid, took precious mask me of, ya? Deku Link: Is that a trick question? Happy Mask Salesman: Dat mask, Majora of Mask, evil, bad, much of many bad and evil has it. Once made by ancient tribe, ya? Mask used for hexing of rituals, ya? Tatl: You mean “rituals of hexing?” Happy Mask Salesman: You smart bug, ya? Well, da mask mine is, da mask him took from Guy Happy Mask, self which I’m are. Deku Link: … *rubs chin thoughfully* *has brilliant idea* Deku Link: Yo, why don’t I go on a quest to fetch your lost mask from that Skull Kid? He’s already got something of mine, so after I kick his ass I could get my ocarina as well as your mask, ya? Happy Mask Salesman: Ooh! Goodie goodie! Many a good that like sounds! You get mask mine of and ocarina yours of, I curse break from you, ya? Deku Link: Oh, yeah! I’m so glad! Finally I won’t be forced to be a Deku scrub for the remainder of my life! I mean, how’s me and Zelda gonna- Tatl: OOOOOK let me get this straight; we get your Majora’s Mask and my friend’s Ocarina from Skull Kid and you can return him back to his original shape and everything’s going to be alright, right? Happy Mask Salesman: Uh, ya, ya! Get mask, return normal to you of friend, deal, ya? Tatl: Uh- Deku Link: DEAL! *Shakes hand with Happy Mask Salesman* Happy Mask Salesman: Goodie goodie! Now possible me to sell mask on EBay! Make big bucks, ya? Get all da ladies, ya? Tatl: Uh, ya? Deku Link: Oui oui! Tatl: What’s that mean? Deku Link: *shrugs* Tatl: Sigh. Oh well, let’s go get Skull Kid. And so Deku Link and Tatl went out the door, on a quest to retrieve the Majora’s Mask. Will they succeed? Will they fail? Do I have to keep asking such pointless questions at the end of each chapter? Please, stay tuned to find out! Tael: OK! Skull Kid: STFU! Tael: Dude, what does that stand for? Skull Kid: Dunno, but it sure as hell sound offensive! Tael: Wooooooord… ________________________ So, good? Not good? Kinda good? Not good at all? What do you think?
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#9
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06-14-2007, 04:10 PM
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Re: (com/act.) Majora's Mask Parody (T)
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 I laughed so hard at the whole "Deku's Nuts" thing, that was hilarious. I hope I don't get a hernia from laughing so much. *sits and waits until next chapter*
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#10
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06-16-2007, 11:17 AM
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Re: (com/act.) Majora's Mask Parody (T)
ANOTHER CHAPTER! OH NOEZ! Beware, this one's gonna be LONG! ________________________ Chapter 3: Clock Town Conundrums, Part 1- Fetching Fatheaded Fairies And so Deku Link and Tatl walk out of the door and into Tatl: Could you understand a word that guy said to us? Deku Link: Of course! He spoke so… Fluent. Tatl: Well, I couldn’t understand him. I was straining just to listen, let alone actually understanding. Now I think I pulled a muscle trying to. Deku Link: … Who are you? Tatl: I’m the sweet little fairy that’s been following you, remember? Deku Link: Duh, I meant what’s your name? That is, if you have one. Tatl: My name’s Tatl. And you are…? Deku Link: Link. I saved the Land of Hyrule from a guy who wanted the three holy triangles as well as the world, but he was no match for my awesome might! With my trusty Master Sword I stabbed him in the head and BOOM! He got sealed away into a magical realm place… Thing. Tatl: … Anywho, we’re here. Deku Link: *looks around* Hey, so we are. Cool little town. *Little message appears in the upper right hand corner of Deku Link’s Vision* Message: Clock Town Deku Link: Yeah, Tatl told me that on the way here, sorry. Message: *cries* Tatl: …? Sigh. Let’s go, Link. Deku Link: Sooooo… What do we do? Tatl: I bet the Great Fairy knows! Deku Link: The… Great Fairy? Tatl: Uh, yeah, the Great Fairy. Deku Link: Oh, I hope they don’t look like the ones in Hyrule! I mean, sheesh, some actual CLOTHES would be greatly appreciated! Tatl: Oh come on, they can’t be that bad, can they? Deku Link: Oh hell yes they can… *Slips into flashback…* Link: *reads sign* Great Fairy? Must be important! Navi: Uh, I don’t really think you should- Link: *Runs in cave* … Deku Link: I forgot the rest. Tatl: Because it was such a traumatic experience that your brain simply erased it from memory in order to sustain proper sanity? Deku Link: Well, I never said it was a bad experience… Heh, heh… Tatl: … But you did imply that it was- Deku Link: I REMBER NOW!!! *Strains to produce another flashback* Deku Link: Aw, man. Tatl: What is it? Deku Link: I just remembered that it was a bad experience. Tatl: Greeeeat, now let’s just go already, OK? Deku Link: Sure, sure. Nearby Dog: Grrrrrrrrr… Deku Link: *Stairs at dog* Dog: *Stairs back at Deku Link* *Pounces and grabs a hold of his arm* Deku Link: *waves arm frantically* Get off, you stupid- *slings dog against nearby wall* Dog: BWORFF!! *corpse dissolves in a light blue fire* *Defeated Boss fanfare plays* *Heart Container Lollipop appears* Deku Link: Well, that takes care of that! *Takes and licks Heart Container Lollipop* Tatl: You didn’t have to kill it, ya know… Sigh. So Deku Link and Tatl walk through Clock Town to find the Great Fairy’s Sanctuary. Deku Link: Hiya! Carpenter Guy: *looking at soldier poster* HUBLEAH! These fools are so lazy! SO lazy, in fact, I want go give them all urine snow cones! *looks at soldier guarding exit* Carpenter Guy: YOU HEAR ME!?! *Raises middle finger* Soldier: WELL, I never! Tatl: Let’s get out of here, shall we? Deku Link: Aw, I wanna see the fight between- Tatl: *drags Deku Link* C’mon! Both enter East Clock Town Deku Link: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!!! Tatl: What is it? Deku Link: *points over to a pair of juggling men wearing makeup and miniskirts* Tatl: Oh, them. Don’t worry about them. Deku Link: Why not? Juggler 1: Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Don’t be afraid of us, little Deku boy! Juggler 2: Goodness, no! Wanna know why? Deku Link: Uh… Jugglers: Because! *Strike disturbing poses with vibrant backdrop and confetti flying everywhere* Jugleres: We’re the GORMAN GENDER-BENDING JUGGLERS! Deku Link: Uh… Good… For you…? Juggler 1: We tell jokes, too, ya know. Juggler 2: Oh, my, funny funny the are! Juggler 1: Would you like to hear one of our jokes? Deku Link: I, uh, really have to- Juggler 1: Alrighty then! Juggler 2, have you heard about the kidnapping in the Swamp? Juggler 2: Oh, my, yes! Juggler 1: Well, then the kid woke up! Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Juggler 2: Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Juggler 1: Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Juggler 2: Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Juggler 1: Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Juggler 2: Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Juggler 1: Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Juggler 2: Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Juggler 1: Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Tatl: Hmm, I wonder when they’ll stop? Deku Link: Let’s go, Tatl! These guys are weirding me out! Tatl: Gotcha. Deku Link and Tatl continue forward… Tatl: Hey! Look, it’s Gorman! Deku Link: Why does that sound familiar? Tatl: *gives Deku Link sarcastic look* He’s the guy who runs the Gorman Circus. Deku Link: Gorman Circus? What’s a circus? Tatl: It’s where a band of misfits come together and use their bizarreness to rip people off. Deku Link: That explains a lot about those *shudders* jugglers over there. Tatl: Uh huh. Deku Link: *talks to Gorman* Gorman: Eh? Bother, bother! I’m busy! Deku Link: … Weird. *talks to Gorman again* Gorman: Eh? Bother, bother! I’m busy! Deku Link: But you’re just walking around; slowly at that. Gorman: Eh? Bother, bother! I’m busy! Deku Link: Very well, then. You’re of no significance, then. Good day, sir! *Turns around and leaves* Gorman: Eh? Bother, bother! I’m busy! Tatl: Uh, yeah, we kinda caught that already… Gorman: Eh? Bother, bother! I’m busy! Tatl: … *flies away to catch up with Deku Link* Moving on into North Clock Town… Tatl: *sees giant Majora’s Mask balloon* … Wow, what an ego that Skull Kid is… Deku Link: *sees elaborately clothed man floating on a diamond-studded balloon* Hey, look at that guy! What a pimp! Tatl: Pimp? I don’t follow… Deku Link: *runs over to guy on balloon* HEEEEEEEY!!! Tatl: What are you doing? Deku Link: That guy obviously makes maps, and we could use one! Tatl: … Wait, how’d you know that? Deku Link: Just looks like that’s what he’s doing. Tingle: *looks down at Deku Link and Tatl* Ooh! *floats down* Tingle: What’s this, yo? Green clothes… And a fairy ho! Tatl: HO!?! Tingle: Hey, Deku man, I thank yo be a Fairy Pimp! Deku Link: Not exactly. See, me and- Tatl: NO! He’s certainly not! And who are you? Tingle: Why, I be da Great Tingle “the Tingler”, da very reincarnation of a Fairy Pimp! Wanna know why dey call me da “Tingler,” honey? Tatl: HELL NO! We have no time for your adult themed shenanigans, either! We need to go see the Great Fairy and you’re just- Tingle: Da Great Fairy? She my best ho, yo. Tatl: SHE’S NO FRIGGIN HOOKER!!! YOU’RE CRAZY!!! Tingle: Ooooh, sassy, ain’tcha? I like dat! Say, why don’t you come w |
