(Com)The BK Mis-adventures (T)

I just rediscovered how diffrent and Fun BK was so I thought I would make fun of it!
~~~

Chapter 1:
Kazooie: Hey Banjo! Hey Banjo, Wake up!
Bottles: Yeah Banjo, You silly sleepy head wake up
Banjo: Uh…
Banjo: Oh gosh you guys this better be really important. Is Grunty back?
Kazooie: No Banjo. We found a Map to candy mountain, candy mountain banjo!
Bottles: Yeah Banjo, were going to candy mountain! Come with us banjo!
Kazooie: Yeah Banjo, It’s going to be an adventure, were going on an adventure Banjo!
Banjo: Yeah, Candy Mountain right… Yeah… I’m just going to go back to sleep now
Kazooie: Nooooooooo!
Kazooie: Banjo, you have to come with us to candy mounta…
-Tooty walks in-
Banjo: Uh… Hi Tooty
Tooty: Do I even want to know
Bottles: Probably not
Tooty: Wait! Have you been using Ding Pot to watch dumb flash movies again?
Kazooie: … Um… Maybe
-Tooty takes out a video camera from behind a flower vase. –
Banjo: What’s that?
Tooty: I warned you big brother… Now your little act is going on You Tube
Tooty: Muhahahahahahahahaha
-Grunty watches from the window-
Grunty: Wow, that’s wicked. Hm… I do need another servant… I mean companion
Grunty: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Chapter 2:
-Tooty, was on her way home with the camera-
Tooty: Oh yeah, this is great. In fact it’s so good I think I’ll watch it again!
Some Random Tree: Hehehe, yes I do think I’ll take her to be my lackey
Tooty: Hey… That tree just talked
Tree: No I didn’t
Tooty: Oh… Wow I’m so use to have things like honey combs and light bulbs talking to me, I’m starting to imagine talking trees.
-Then all of the sudden the bodiless skull of Grunty jumped from the tree and landed on top of Tooty! –
Tooty: AHHHHHHHH!!!
-Else where-
Banjo: Well this Stinks
Kazooie: Yeah… I blame Bottles
Bottles: What!?!
Banjo: … Well while you to battle it out I’m going to get the mail
-Later-
Kazooie: Bill, bill, bill, bill, Jury Duty, bill, bill, bill, The News Paper, bill, bill, bill, bill, A subscription to under the mound weekly, Man why does the Mail man always deliver this magazine to us! It clearly says Bottles on it, Bill, bill, bill… Hey! It’s a letter from Grunty’s Tower!
Banjo: Hey, Let me read it!
Banjo: Hehehe, I captured your sister Tooty! I’m going to keep her here until you come here and let me beat you up for revenge!
P.s. Bring Cookies! Chocolate Chip is preferred… If it’s Peanut butter I’ll hurt you more!
~Grunty~
Kazooie: That’s Evil!
Banjo: I know… Who doesn’t like Peanut Butter Cookies!

Chapter 3:
Banjo: Huff, Huff, Kazooie, Is it just me or does spiral mountain seem to get taller every time we come up here
Kazooie: Shut you’re whining, were almost here, I’m not even breaking a sweat
Banjo: That’s because you installed an air conditioner in my backpack
Kazooie: What was that?
Banjo: Nothing…
…
Banjo: Where here your loud mouth highness…
Kazooie: Well go in
Banjo: I can’t… Grunty finally got around to installing a door instead of an open mouth as an entrance
Kazooie: Then open the door!!!
Banjo: It’s locked…
Kazooie: Oh…
Kazooie: Well all we have to do is wait…
Banjo: Why
Kazooie: Because when the milkman comes we disguise are self’s as milk bottles and sneak in
Banjo: Really!!!
Kazooie: No! Stupid! We just wait here until bottles comes and tells us what to do
Banjo: Oh ok…
…
5 minuets later
Banjo: Got any threes?
Kazooie: Go fish
Banjo: You liar, I can see that 3 hidden in your feathers
…
1 hour later
…
Banjo: I spy with my little eye, something blue!
Kazooie: The sky
Banjo: Are you like reading my mind or something
…
8 hours later
…

Kazooie: OK THIS IS NUTS!!!! WHERE THE HECK IS BOTTLES!!!
Bottles: Here I am
Kazooie: WHERE WERE YOU!!!
Bottles: In that mole hill
Banjo: Then why didn’t you come to us?
Bottles: Because in the game guide it says I have to wait for you to come to the hill and shout “B”
Banjo: Game guide?
Bottles: Yes?
Banjo: Since when did life get a game guide?
Bottles: Well it does say on this page that it was published in 2002
Banjo: Sweet…
Kazooie: Stop goofing around and tell us how to get in the lair!!!
Bottles: Fine Ill tell you… After you go to the hill and shout “B”

Chapter 4
-After an hour or two-
Kazooie: So we have to find this so-called “Mystical Key of Ultimate Love” To open this door!!!
Bottles: Yes
Kazooie: So where is it
Bottles: Uh… I’m not sure…
Banjo: Wait… The Mystical Key of Ultimate Love… Where have I heard that before…
Bottles: …
Kazooie: …
Kazooie: Well!
Banjo: OMG I remember…
-Flash back mode-
Banjo: Gosh, Kazooie, wanted me to get so many groceries! Why can’t she come and get them herself!
Banjo: Oh that’s nice, a 7 person line
Banjo: Well I guess ill scan some of these magazine titles while I wait
Banjo: Hm…
The Spiral News: The Pie factory exploded… More on page 62
National Inquirer: The Mystical Key of Ultimate Love found… Details inside
Celeb Word Search: Tenth edition
-End Flash Back-
Banjo: And that’s where I saw if before!
Kazooie: I don’t believe in half of the stuff in that magazine!
Banjo: Then why do you have a bunch of issues under your bed?
Kazooie: I read them for the ads!
Bottles: Stop bickering and listen! We don’t know if the article with the key is real but we can’t be sure! We have to look for a copy of it!
Kazooie: So Banjo where’s the nearest place to pick up one of those magazines?
Banjo: Well the closest place would be…
Kazooie: No way!!!!
Banjo: But Kazooie!
Kazooie: No! There no way I’m going there
Banjo: But we have to get that magazine!
Kazooie: There is no way in the world your going to get me…
-Later-
Kazooie: There…
Jolly: Hi all! Welcome to my bar!
Kazooie: Banjo I hate you!

Chapter 5
Banjo: Fine! Just get in my backpack
Kazooie: THANK YOU!!!!
-Later-
Banjo: So Jolly, where might your magazine rack be?
Jolly: Are you sad
Banjo: No? I’m just looking for you magazine rack
Jolly: You look sad
Banjo: What? Just tell me where your magazine rack is!
Jolly: I think you need a man hug…
Banjo: What eww… No!
Jolly: Well I think you do
Banjo: Get away from me
Jolly: Not until you get your hug
Banjo: No… Get back… No… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jolly: Hehehe
-Later-
Jolly: Do you feel better now?
Banjo: I feel so dirty…
Kazooie: I saw things that I can never un-see…
Banjo: Just… Just… Tell me where your magazines are… Please
Jolly: Sure they’re right over there
Banjo: Thanks! Hey here’s the one I wanted, so how much is it
Jolly: Three man hugs
Banjo: Please repeat
Jolly: Not, repeat… Show…
Banjo: What… Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


Chapter 6
-Outside of Jolly’s bar-
Banjo: Never… Ever… Again…
Kazooie: And that’s why I hate coming here
Banjo: What ever, at least we have the magazine
Kazooie: Well find the article!
Banjo: Fine… Hm… Hm… Oh! I found it!
Banjo: … Just Sunday the “Mystical Key of Ultimate Love” was found! But later was discovered fake…
Banjo: That’s all it says…
Kazooie: YOU MEAN I WAS SCARED FOR LIFE AND WE STILL DON”T KNOW WHERE THE KEY IS!!!!!!!
Banjo: Yes.
Kazooie: ARGGGGGGG $#^$##&@&W$%*&#%*#*#%^*#%&#%&#&%#&#(*
Banjo: … Kazooie!
-Then all of a sudden Captain Blubber Shows up-
Blubber: Like… Zomg, the bird has a voice like a sailor
Banjo: Why Are you talking like Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Blubber: I don’t know…
Blubber: But maybe a present will cheer bird up
Blubber: The merchant said it was some “Mystical Key of Ultimate Love”… I don’t love so you can have it
-Blubber leaves-
Kazooie: What just happened
Banjo: … I don’t know… I don’t know…

Chapter 7:
So Banjo, and Kazooie got the Mystical Key of Ultimate Love” The two companions and bottles are now in front of the gate to gruntys tower.
Banjo but the key in the lock and turned…
…
…
Nothing happened.
Banjo: What the *Bleep*
Banjo then saw writing on the hilt of the key it said…
Banjo: This really cheap fake was made in China!
Bottles: So this isn’t the real key
Kazooie: Nope… …
Bottles: Uh Banjo, Kazooie didn’t go off… I’m scared.
Banjo: Oh don’t worry we’ve been taking some anger management classes.
Kazooie: Hey what’s that?
Kazooie was pointing to a piece of silver poking out from under the welcome mat.
Banjo bent down.
Banjo: Hey guys it’s a key.
Banjo but it in the door and turned…
The door swung open.
Banjo: Wow, how did we not notice that before?

Chapter 8
-In the castle-
Banjo: Gosh darn’t, she had to replace those dang note doors again!
Kazooie: Yeah well, at least we know where the notes and the jiggys are.
Banjo: Hey… Wait! This place looks totally different
Grunty: It should, I remodeled my whole lair, with new worlds and everything
Kazooie: Ah! Gosh darn’t! Every time Grunty uses her loudspeaker it scares me to death.
Grunty: Ha! Oh, and the first land is too your left!
Banjo: Hey thanks
Grunty: Don’t mention it… I mean, You will die soon!
-Later-
*Land #1: Night Club Theme*
Banjo: Woot! Yeah, This is one rocken world.
Kazooie: Yeah! Hey look at that poster!
Banjo: “ Welcome all to the 25th Song and Dance Competition! We have a rocken prize. It’s this gold paperweight! What an awesome prize. So come on down and Join, Join, Join!”
Kazooie: That sounds a lot like a Jiggy
Banjo: Yeah, I guess we both have to join; maybe one of us will win it!
-Later-
D.J.: And now, for are next competitor… All they way from Spiral Mountain, Welcome… Banjo!!!
*Music starts playing. Banjo is on stage with mike in hand…*
Banjo: …
Banjo: Peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly
Banjo: Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly
Banjo: Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat
Banjo: I LOVE YOU AMERICA!!!
D.J.: … Wow… He even memorized that creepy banana dance.
D.J.: And now the time you’ve all been waiting for… The Finalists are… Banjo, Kazooie, Miles, Nic, and Massie!

Chapter 9
Miles: Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Miles: I'm just too white n' nerdy
Miles: Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
DJ: That was one rocken performance Miles, Now get your nerdy self on the stage.
DJ: Now we have… Nic!
Nic: 'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling
Nic: And every time we kiss I swear I could fly.
Nic: Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Nic: Need you by my side.
Crowd: *Cheers*
DJ: Rock on forever hot stuff!
DJ: Next we have… Massie
Massie: …
Massie: …
Massie: Im sorry I’ve got stage fright
DJ: Aw to bad… anyway Next we have Kazooie!
Kazooie: …
Kazooie: Ay, Ay, Ay, I’m your little butterfly!
Kazooie: Green, black, and blue, make the colors in the sky
Kazooie: Ay, Ay, Ay, I’m your little butterfly!
Kazooie: Green, black, and blue, make the colors in the sky
DJ: Yes, DDR remixs are always a hit here. Anyway, last but not least we have Banjo!
Banjo:Oh when your all and down and need some cheering up
Banjo:Just head on down to the candy mountain cave
Banjo:Inside you’ll find lot of candy Wow!
Banjo: (Something, Something) to brighten up your day
Banjo: (Something) Oh charlie won’t you come into the cave.
Banjo: *Explotion Noise*
Crowd: *Goes nuts*
Dj: Wow, now lets hear the results from are judges
Simon Cowwle: Well most of the acts were the worst singing ever
Simon: But we couldn’t decide between two contestants. So it’s a tie between Banjo… and Kazooie!
DJ: Whoo! A tie, you all know what that means right!
Crowd: RAP OFF!!!

Chapter 10
*Weird Beat comes from Boom Box*
Banjo: Yeah, what’cha doin in my home dog, liven like your in a bog Woot! Woot!
Kazooie: Question back at you, at least I’m not the one that smells like poo!
Banjo: Ya, well why, your mom cry, oh its yeah your face it’s a discrace
Kazooie: Wording out, you now, living near a cow, wow…
Banjo: Popsicals, Stoppable, your intelegintace is impossiable…
Kazooie: Hi, pie, your bright, YEAH RIGHT!
D.J. : Stop right there you two. Wow I never saw rapping like that since the Dixi Chicks
D.J: Anyway it’s your time to vote… Who was the better rapper?

Chapter 11
D.J.: I would like to annouce the winner…
D.J.: The winner is…
D.J.: BANJO!!!
*The Crowd Goes Wild*
Banjo: YAY!
D.J.: Congrates Banjo, Heres your Prize!
*Hands over a Jiggy*
Banjo: Yes! Thanks!
D.J.: Hold up there kid… Due to budget cuts and taxes… And the cut of the profit you have to give to the government…
D.J.: You have… Nothing left of your prize.
Banjo: What!
D.J. *Swipes Jiggy*
Banjo: Hey!
D.J.: Sorry, Blame the government…
*Banjo and Kazooie suddnely dissapear and re-apper in gruntys tower*
Banjo:… Damn you government… Damn you!

Chapter 12
Banjo: Well where do we go next then?
Kazooie: Hey look some bathrooms! Maybe Loggo is in one of them! He always has a jiggy for us!
Banjo: Yeah!
-Banjo run’s to the boy’s room door and tries to open it-
Banjo: Hey this door is smelted shut!
Kazooie: Lets try the girl’s room
-All of the sudden noises started coming for the girl’s room-
Bathroom noises: Arrrgghhh… My fingers have just went through the paper!
Banjo: Um… Is everything all right in there?
Bathroom noises: Ohhhhhhhhh… that one really stung on the way out
Kazooie: I think I’m going to be sick!
Bathroom noises: Aieeee… Splash Back!
Banjo: Ugh… That’s just sick and wrong!
Bathroom noises: Oh no! There’s no tissue roll left!
Kazooie: … Hey Banjo look the doors opening…
Banjo: Yeah… We can finally see who it is…
Banjo and Kazooie: MUMBO!!!
Mumbo: Uka! Me Mumbo, best *****er in the game!
Kazooie: Ok, I’m going to go barf. Excuse me!
Mumbo: I wouldn’t go in there for another hour!
Banjo: Ugh… Um… Mumbo, was Loggo in there?
Mumbo: Oh yeah! Loggo hate Mumbo now....
Banjo: Um thanks for sharing that
Mumbo: Oh and he told me to give you this Jiggy
Banjo: Whoa thanks… Um… Where has this been?
Mumbo: Bear doesn’t want to know that…
Mumbo: Excuse Mumbo. That curry is coming back
-Mumbo goes back in the girl’s bathroom-
Kazooie: I don’t feel so good…
Banjo: At least we have another Jiggy!