(Act/Fan/SH)The Unnamed Superhero Short Story (T for 10+)

Okie-dokie then! The Unnamed Superhero Short Story is for English. We had to write a short story about a superhero (or superheroine). SH, obviously standing for SuperHero. Or not so obviously. Anywho, I'd really like feedback. I'm handing it in tomorrow, but ah well.

Oh yeah, and it's Unnamed because I can't think of a name.

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Tony’s feet thudded on the ground, nearly tripping over the ripped edge of his jeans as he sprinted away from Sawyer the bully. He was running anywhere that would get him away from the bulky bully. Wherever his feet took him, he wouldn’t care.

Tony was 14, tall, and thin, and made a good runner because his long legs. He was lucky that he was fast, or else Sawyer would’ve had him by his legs right about then.

Tony groaned in announce, seeing a large rock wall ahead of him. Then he smiled. He could do so many things with his superpower, and that was shapeshifting.

Tony fell to his knees in a slide, gazing at the wall for some sort of nook or cranny. Then he found a hole, about the size of a mouse hole. He thought quickly. “Come on, small, quick...” he began muttering, placing his hand over the small entrance to size it up.

Then everything hanged before him. He blinked in the over saturated light, everything slightly blurry. He knew this form from previous adventures. It was a mouse.

He scurried through the hole, but squeaked in fear when his whiskers couldn’t feel anything solid around him, but it was still dark. His whiskers quivered, offering him a mental image of where he was. He was in a cave, long and narrow, seeming to never end, but his whiskers picked up traces of light. There was an opening somewhere. A jagged shape blocked his view.

One more shapeshift, Tony though. His mental picture vanished, and he felt an odd itch in his arms. He lifted one to feel something stretch. He poked at it with his nose. He was a bat, and a small one.

Tony sprayed out sound, ears twitching as it bounced back as an echo, a silver image. He took off, wings beating gently, stirring the windless air around him.

A throaty rumble surprised him. He sprayed out more sound.

“Hungry... Food, eat... Hungry,” the rumble repeated, as a silver wolf came into view.

“I didn’t run just to be thrust into the jaws of a wolf like you!” he muttered furiously. His eyes blinked as he noticed the dappled bright light. The entrance!

Tony flapped harder, angling forward. The wolf barked, but Tony ignored it. He had to get out before the wolf got to him, and he didn’t have long to get out.

Tony faked one way, then the other, trying to dodge around the wolf. It stared at him, not letting him slip from view.

“Oh, go away, you filthy little mutt!” Tony hissed, frustrated with the wolf.

Its eyes widened in surprise at Tony’s remark. It watched him, ears pricked lowering itself for the killing bite.

Tony’s wings flapped, pulling up before the wolf even jumped. Tony lowered himself, and flew towards the silver light of the entrance. He felt a tear in his tail and looked back to see the wolf clinging to him the leathery skin of the tail ripping at the touch of the grey canine’s claws.

Tony franticly flapped his dark wings helplessly, the wolf’s weight pinning him in mid-air. He stopped flapping, knowing he had lost.

The wolf yipped in surprise as it dragged Tony to the ground.

“I don’t mind playing a little longer,” the wolf barked. It lunged onto the small helpless form, crushing it.

Tony grunted, feeling himself fall apart. He braced himself for the feel of the wolf’s jaws to close around him.

Them it happened. Tony let out an ear-splitting squeak, as the thorn-sharp teeth dug into his body. Tony didn’t want to give up. He’d have no chance of beating the wolf as a human. He knew the extinct dire wolf had always beaten the more recent ancestors. But he didn’t want to risk it. Dire wolves were extinct. Something bad could happen if he transformed! But on the other hand, it was his only chance.

Next thing he knew, the silver wolf had let go in surprise.

“You know dire wolves, then?” Tony growled. The wolf whimpered slightly, then looked around as if looking for the bat now gone.

Tony let out another snarl, backing towards the entrance he had come from. I was strong against a wolf. I can beat Sawyer! he thought.

His tail brushed up against the hole in the rock wall. He spun around, changing to a mouse again.

He pelted out of the hole, human again. Tony looked around for shelter and ducked under some low-hanging branches of an evergreen.

Just in time. Sawyer was appearing up a slope, panting (another reason Tony was so lucky to have long legs). It wasn’t long until he was there at the back of the cave, looking around.

Tony jumped from his shelter, facing Sawyer. They made eye contact, and then Sawyer ran with a yelp of fright.

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Okay. One last request. Grade me!

1. Character (that I used two ways to develop Tony, and that the superpowers were needed) - 5 pts
2. Story stucture (that it's clear) - 5 pts
3. Details (sensory details, specific) - 3 pts
4. Dialogue (punctuated correctly) - 2 pts
5. Fight scene (is purpseful) - 3 pts
6. Writing process (including feedback) - N/A (you don't know if I have the stuff, though it's worth 2 pts)
7. Completely edited - 3 pts
8. Description (detailed, clear) - 2 pts

Totalling to 25 pts. Geeze, that means if I only get 20 I get an 80. Harsh, teacher! :glare