OoT Link's TP Parody

I got Grass' approval to use White
Chap.1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Orange: Boy, I'm tired
White: You didn't even lift a finger
Red: Well, I'm the STRONGEST!
Rusl: I have a quest for you three to--
Red: Make us wash your underwear?
Rusl: No, I need you to--
Orange: Make us wash your dirty socks?
Rusl: No just let me tell you--
White: Wash your cat?
Rusl: NO!!!! I need you to deliver this sword to Hyrule Castle
All three Links: Oh
White: Ok, I'm tired, Lets go home
Fado: GUYS! GUYS!!! I NEED YOU TO GET EPONA, QUICLY!!!
Orange: Huh?
Fado: DO YOU NEED TO HEAR THAT AGAIN????
Orange: Well, actually--
Red: Shut up!
White: C'mon Lets go get her
*The three links walk to the Ordon Spring*
Illia: I washed your stupid horse!
Orange: Hey! Don't call her stupid! *Rushes toward Illia*
Red: This should be interesting....
Illia: I don't care!
Orange: Oh, right, I can't hit girls
Illia: *Punches Orange*
White: C'mon, Lets go
The Ordon Ranch
Fado: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?????
Orange: Well, um--
Fido: I DONT CARE!!! GET THOSE GOATS IN THE BARN!!!!!!!
Orange: Get in! *Whips Goat* Get in!
Goats: *Charge at Orange*
Orange: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Two Hours later*
Orange: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Red: Get up! Those goats are gone!
White: I'm going home, Anyone with me?
Red: Me
Orange: Me!
White: Good, Lets go

I really liked it, and it was funny!
There are things you can improve on it though.
Here are some things: try making it longer, like an entire one of Links adventures, except in 20 minute reading form. You got the funny stuff out and good! Example for Oot:
Orange: Ah! It's a Deku Baba!
Deku Baba: Gwa!
*Orange slices Baba*
Deku Baba: HA! *dies*
lol!

I'll do that when we fight a monster, Right now, I'm thinking of ideas
EDIT: Got one
Chap. 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Red: zzzzzzz
White:zzzzzzzzzzzz
Orange: zzzzzzzzzzzpuddingzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*malo and Talo get a blowhorn and scream on the top of their lungs*
Malo and Talo: WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Red: Leave us alone! What is this the military?
Malo: hup! hup! hup! ten-four! Give me 50 push-ups!
Red: No way am I gonna--
Talo: NOW!!!!!
Red: All right! Sheesh!
Malo: now look , there's a slingshot at the store!
Red: And??
Talo: we want you to buy it!!
White: And just why would I do that?
Malo: cause, cause, WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!
White: Ow! Ow! okay!
Orange: Pie!
The Ordon Village
White: Now where would we find a slingshot?
Red: How sbout there?
White: Ah! The fat lady! Yeah!
*The three walk into Sera's Sundries*
Orange: Hi we would all like some pie--
Red: Shut up!!! Let White say it!
White: We would like a slingshot plea--
Sera: Sorry I'm too depressed.
White: Why?
Sera:I lost my cat
White: Oh,, So Can we buy the slingshot?
Sera: Look, I can't sell you it, I'm too depressed
Red: Let me handle it, GIVE US THE SLINGSHOT!
Sera: NO!!!!!!!!! I'm too depressed!
White: Fine!
Jaggle: Red! You're a sissy!
Red: *Turns into Fierce Delity* What did you just say?
Jaggle: You're a sissy!
Feirce Delity: GAHHH!!!!! *Runs over to Jaggle*
Jaggle: WAIT! WAIT! I meant to say, Sera's cat is over there!
Feirce Delity: *Turns back to Red* Fine.
White: Good! Let's grab it!

Hm...

I'm sorry to say that I'm not sure that I can read this until you put a space between each line.

Like this:

Kid 1: Hello.

Kid 2: Goodbye.

Man: Blah.


Really, walls of text aren't cool.

I struggled through the first chapter- it was very hard to read, but still pretty funny. Try to put a space between each line, and then I can give you a better evaluation.

Originally Posted by Grass

Hm...

I'm sorry to say that I'm not sure that I can read this until you put a space between each line.

Like this:

Kid 1: Hello.

Kid 2: Goodbye.

Man: Blah.


Really, walls of text aren't cool.

I struggled through the first chapter- it was very hard to read, but still pretty funny. Try to put a space between each line, and then I can give you a better evaluation.

Grass here has a point. It would be easier for everyone's eyes if you put spaces between lines. The story's good, I like how Malo and Talo force the Links to get things for them.

Word. It's very hard to read, but it should get better. Anyway, trying to become another grass, eh? Good luck with that, but there's only one grass.