(Com) Link Goes To School [T]

This idea has been in my mind for a while and I'd like to see how it plays out with the good folks of ZU. ***Rated 'T' because of mild language***

Prologue

After defeating Ganondorf, Link was sent back in time and discovered a place called Clock Town. Soon after, defeated the wretched Skull Kid who was causing a lot of trouble and put an end to the chaos there. After that was done with, Link had a barrage of masks in his sack(don't be immature about this word) and a brain that needed learning. He received a letter from Zelda, it read:

"Link, good news has arrived. We just finished building a school for learning and stuff and it's open to everyone in the general area. So bring all of your friends and have them sign up so we can learn together, I trust I can meet you there? Travel back to Hyrule ASAP."

Link looked over at Navi.
Navi: What?
Link smiled.
Navi: Not the pedophile smile...

Chapter 1

Link arrived at Hyrule within a day of riding and had begun registration.

Link: What's sex?
Registration Officer: You're joking right?
Link: Joke?
Navi: Put Male down.
Link: I don't have any mail.
Navi: No I mean M-A-L-E male.
Link: Male?
Navi: Yeah
Link: ...
Navi: Are you retarded?
Navi smacked Link on the head.

Minutes later Zelda arrived.

Zelda: Link!
Link: Heyy Zelda!
Link blushed a little bit.
Zelda: You already registering?
Navi: This the girl you told me about?
Link: Uhh yeah, Zelda this is Navi, Navi this is Zelda.
Zelda: Cool, what classes are you taking?
Link: I just got to that now.
Zelda: Don't you want to know what I'm taking?
Link: Yes.
Zelda: Well since there is a maximum of 5 per day I chose history, language, literature, courteousness class and mathematics.
Link: Okay I think I got it. I'm going to take history, physical education, sparring, running and then I have one more...
Navi: Take magic class.
Link: Are you gay?
Zelda: Take courteousness class with me!
Link: Are you gay?
Zelda: WHAT!
Link: Okay I'll take it with you.
Navi: Are you gay?
Registration Officer: Thank the good lord I'm not a teacher.
Link: Okay I'm all done.
Registration Officer: Okay let me just assign you a teacher and destination for each class and then come back next week when school starts.

Registration Officer goes inside the shack.

Zelda: I think my uncle is teaching a class but he didn't say which one.
Link: Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy.

Registration Officer returns with some papers and hands them to Link.
Link looks at the list and reads the names of the teachers.

Link: Okay for history I have The Happy Mask Salesman? Oookay then. For physical education I have... GANONDORF!!?!? Oh man how did he survive? For sparring I have your uncle, hmm so that's what he is teaching. For running I have an unassigned teacher and for courteousness I have Malon's aunt.
Navi: I can't wait to watch you fail.
Zelda: Great so we have the same teachers for the courses we are taking together.
Link: I'll see you in school, I'm going to go invite some people.
Zelda: Bye.
Link: See ya.

Link begins running in the direction of Kakariko village.

Navi: Okay just hold up one minute. Where's the drop-dead sexy woman you are dating?
Link: Errr, that was her.
Navi: You prune.


End.

Work in progress. I realize its very shallow and 'story-less' but that's all I'm reading online now anyway.

Not too bad not too bad.

Navi: Okay just hold up one minute. Where's the drop-dead sexy woman you are dating?
Link: Errr, that was her.
Navi: You prune.

My favorite part!

It's very good but the plotline is a little, uninterresting but I'll read on and see how it improves.

Interesting, Hero. Seems to be a good storyline.

However, you should do some stuff to improve readability.

1. When you do action lines, like:

Navi smacked Link on the head.

Either do this:

Navi: *smacks Link on the head*

or

Navi smacked Link on the head.

The second one is preferable, because it looks better.


2. Put a space between each line of dialogue.

That's all. Good job; I'll wait for more.

Alright thanks, I'm used to writing the novel way so I'm like an immigrant to this kind of writing. Anyways here's more:

Chapter 2
Invitations

Link had arrived at Kakariko village in no less than 10 minutes.

Link: Time to look for some people I can invite.

Link begins knocking on people's doors, naturally a parent answers and Link explains about the school.

Some Parent: Hmm, what do YOU want?

Link: I was hoping to extend an invite to your son.

Some Parent: Invite?

Link: Yeah.

Some Parent: To what?

Link: School, the new one that was just built outside of Hyrule castle.

Some Parent: Really? Sounds fascinating, sure I'll register my son.

Link: Great thanks.

Some Parent: Slams door shut

Navi: You just got owned.

Link: Owned?

Navi: Yeah.

Link: Nobody owns me.

Navi: Nevermind.

After many unsuccessful attempts, Link decided it would be best to find his actual friends in the lost woods and invite them. He turned around to leave and there was Sheik.

Link: Gets shocked

Sheik: Going to school are you?

Link: Yeah.

Navi: Who's this?

Link: Some hardcore dude.

Sheik: Right, I thought you might want to know... I might be taking school with you.

Link: Okay.

Navi whisper: He doesn't seem hardcore.

Sheik: Throws a nut and disappears.

Link: That's so hardcore! I want to be able to do that.

Navi: I'm pretty sure he's gay, did you hear his voice?

Link: Shh.

Navi: I think I was better off with the Registration Officer.


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Link traveled with Epona down into the lost woods where before reaching his old home, was stopped by Saria.

Saria: Link! Long time no see!

Link: Yeah.

Navi whisper: Okay stop saying 'yeah', it's really getting on my nerves!

Saria: I heard they opened a school now?

Link: Yeah.

Navi: Smacks Link across the head.

Link: Umm, I came here to invite you to take classes at the school.

Saria: Really? Can I?

Link: Yeah.

Navi: Flies away somewhere

Link: Just go down there, registration is up and it's free and everything.

Saria: Who else is coming?

Link: I'm here to invite everyone I can so if you want afterwards we can go as a group.

Saria: Okay I'll wait by your place then.

Link: Yeah. Bye.

Saria: Bye.

Link heads off in the direction of the great deku tree. As always he expects to and does see Mido standing around.

Link thinking: Look at him, thinks he is so tough.

Mido: Link! Is that you man?

Link: Yeah.

Mido: Yo, you a real playa now!

Link thinking: what the hell...

Mido: So wassup bro, what you doin' here? You done killin dem dragons and stuff?

Link: I am going to school next week and I wanted to know if you were going to come sign up as well.

Mido: School? Aight sure if you'z is goin then I will too.

Mido thinking: Finally, a place to distribute my weed.

Link: Is it possible for me to take a look at the great deku tree?

Mido: Actually I ain't allowed to let ANYONE through right now, so no playa.

Link: Yeah.

Mido: When are we going?

Link: We are all meeting at my place in a little while.

Mido thinking: Is he gay?

Link: Notices Mido staring at his body parts.

Mido: Notices Link noticing him checking Link out.

Link & Mido: Awkward silence.

Link: Leaves.


End.



More story-ish than comic, but the real comedy starts when they begin classes at around chapter 4/5.

Sorry, internet messed up and I posted it twice.

Hey, that's not half bad! I enjoy reading it. Although...

"Mido thinking: Finally, a place to distribute my weed."

o_O You really made a huge character change for Mido, huh? Well, it is different, but that good part is he keeps character the whole time. ;]

The entire thing is mildly funny, too. I can deffidently see this story going somewhere. Post s'more soon, kay? :]

real comedy starts when they begin classes at around chapter 4/5.

Cool, can't wait to read it.

Alright here's another part because I might not be able to get around to writing more for tomorrow's post.

Chapter 3
Bringing The Gang

Registration Officer: Who are all these people?

Link: They're my friends, they are going to register.

Registration Officer: Okay, how many papers do you need.

Link: Umm, let's see... There's Saria, Mido, Malon, Princess Ruto, Some hot chicks, some gorons and some hardcore zoras. Oh and there's this sexy gerudo girl but she can't make it so I'll bring it to her.

Registration Officer: So how many is that?

Link: Four?

Navi: Nineteen.

Link: I'm pretty sure when you add one, a lot of times you get four.

Navi: I'm pretty sure when there are nineteen ones, you have nineteen.

Link: When did you get back, I thought you deserted me in the woods.

Navi: I had... things to attend to.

Registration Officer: So I'll get you nineteen forms then.

Link: Yeah.

Mido: Yo Link dem some hot chix you brought eh?

Link: Yeah.

Mido: Yo somebody is calling your name eh.

Link: Who?

Mido: That chick on the hill.

Link: Oh Zelda, COMING!

Link: Approaches the figure on the hill.

Zelda: Hi Link.

Link: Yeah.

Zelda: Throws costume off, and reveals Ganondorf underneath.

Ganondorf: We're gonna have a fun time in school aren't we?

Link: Gulp... Yeah...

Ganondorf: You know they're allowing corporal punishment for extremely stupid behaviour...

Link: Stands confused. What?

Ganondorf: Corporal punishment...

Link: blinks repeatedly.

Ganondorf: Is he retarded?

Navi: That's what I said.

Ganondorf: Whatever, it means I can take things into my own hands. Muahahaha. Throws a nut and disappears.

Link: That's so hardcore!

Navi: Rolls eyes.


--------------------------------------------------------------


Link returns to the bottom of the hill to the registration shack.

Registration Officer: Here you are, nineteen forms.

Link: Takes the forms and distributes them with his friends.

Mido: What's sex.

Link: Apparently you write 'male'.

Saria: Like M-A-I-L?

Link: No no, the guys write that, and it's spelled M-A-L-E.

Saria: What do girls write?

Link: Good question.

Link: Turns to the registration officer and opens his mouth but is cut off..

Registration Officer: Female.

Link: What?

Registration Officer: Girls write female.

Link: Girls write--

Girls: We heard.

Link: lol.

Navi: What did you just say?

Link: I said 'girls write' and then I was cut off.

Navi: No, after that.

Link: I didn't say anything.

Mido: Did you'z actually say 'lol' ?

Link: I did?

Navi: I'm starting to doubt this as a good idea for you.

Mido: Iz you comin out the closet?

Link: What the hell are you talking about? We're outside on a sunny day.


End.


Next time: "Visiting the gerudos."

Before I posted how it improves and your taking leaps of improvement. Good work and you have an new official fan. (ME!)

Oh my gosh, this is so great!

Ganondorf: Whatever, it means I can take things into my own hands. Muahahaha. Throws a nut and disappears.

Link: That's so hardcore!

Hahahaha, I love how you tied that back into the story from the origional referal to Shiek when she threw the nut. You are a very good writer. ;]

Seriously, I want to read this stuff. It's really funny. Keep up the great work, Hërŏ.

you have an new official fan

Yeah, me, too. ^_^

Woohoo fans!

I found time to write some more, here it is:

Chapter 4
Visiting The Gerudos

Link had just arrived at the entrance to Gerudo valley, when he was stopped by Kaepora Gaebora.

Kaepora: What are you doing here young one?

Link: Giving an invite to my friend.

Kaepora: Okay. flies away.

Link: Okay then... continues walking.

Navi: What the hell was that all about?

Link: I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes but it's only me and I walk alone.

Navi: Okay you're not alone, I'm here and this road leads us to Gerudo valley...

Link: My shadow's the only one that walks beside me.

Navi: Do you hear me?

Link: What?

Navi: What do you mean what? You started singing about being lonely and on some road...

Link: When did this happen?

Navi: Just now.

Link: You fail at tricking me.

Navi: Ugh...


---------------------------------------------------------------


Link: Excuse me, where can I find Sheila?

Gerudo Guard: Who are you?

Link: Link.

Gerudo Guard: Oh.

Navi thinking: Wtf... is everyone retarded?

Link: Yeah.

Gerudo Guard: #$&@%>?@#<@?^^#$!!!!!

Link: What?

A girl appears running towards Link.

Gerudo Guard: What do you mean what? I just called her for you.

Sheila: Hi Link.

Link: I have your invite.

Sheila: Thanks like a bunch I was soooo lazy you know I just like didn't wanna go get it.

Link: Yeah.

Navi whisper: This that sexy gerudo girl?

Link: Yeah. Navi this is Sheila, Sheila this is Navi my fairy.

Sheila: That's pretty cool I guess.

Link: Yeah.

Sheila: Can I have my form now?

Link: Oh right! Gives form to Sheila.

Sheila: Thanks. I'll fill it in now, do you have like that thing you like write with?

Link: Nope, what's it called anyway?

Sheila: No idea.

Navi: I think it's a pencil.

Link: I think that's a gay word.

Sheila: There done.

Link: That fast? Let me see. Grabs paper.

Sheila: That's all right, right?

Link: What does it say beside sex here?

Sheila: 'Yes Please'

Link: I don't get it.

Sheila, Gerudo Guard, Navi: Rolls eyes.

Link: I don't get it.


End.



There now that everyone is introduced and their character is somewhat shown, Link will be ready to start school next chapter!

Here's some more:


Chapter 5
Part One
First Period Of The First Day Of School

Link arrived at his first scheduled class of the day: History

Happy Mask Salesman(HMS): Welcome class, welcome.

Link: It's you!

HMS: Yes, it's me.

Zelda: You know this guy?

Link: Yeah.

HMS: Go ahead and pick out your seats children.

Zelda: Sit with me Link!

Sheila: Sit with me Link!

Saria: Sit with me Link!

Mido: Sit with me Link!

Link: Errr, why don't we all sit beside me?

Mido: I call behind him!

Sheila: I'll like sit in front.

Saria: I'll sit on either side.

Link thinking: Boo yah!

Navi whispers: Careful, don't get too deep with chicks.

Mido: Throws paper at Link's head. Ahha it bounced back.

Link: How long are we here anyway?

HMS: One hour.

Link: WHAT!?!

Zelda: What did you think?

Link: I thought we came, talked for like fifteen minutes and left. I can't afford to be here for half a week.

Zelda: ....... An hour isn't half a week.

Link: Is it LONGER?

Saria: No, multiply fifteen by four and you get an hour.

Link: So it is longer.

HMS: No, an hour is like fifteen minutes, after fifteen minutes, after fifteen minutes, after fifteen minutes.

Link: Which is ...?

HMS: An hour.

Link: HOLY----


----------------------------------------------------------------


Later:


HMS: So then, in this history class we are going to cover two major topics. Our world, and what is known as "the world of the past", earth.

Link: What's earth?

HMS: It's like our world, but more violent and with extremely unbearable stenches.

Mido: Link's azz is holdin an unbearable stench.

Class Laughs

HMS: A rule we have at the school here, is to NOT swear.

Mido: Why?

HMS: It's not good to do.

Mido: Why?

HMS: Swearing doesn't solve anything, there are proper and civil words we can use instead.

Mido: What?

HMS: Instead of "ass" you could say his bum or his bottom.

Mido whisper: Teacha is a fagz yo.

HMS: Also there is no eating in class, no drinking except for water, you speak only when granted permission and to treat one another fairly.

Mido: Dat'z a little strict yo

HMS: Those are the rules. You agreed to them when you signed up.

Mido: Aiight fine whatevz.

HMS: Alright, so everyone take out your notebooks.

Mido & Link: Notebooks?

HMS: Yes, the registration form should have told you everything you need.

Mido & Link: Crap.

Zelda: Here Link you can have a---

Sheila: Puts a paper and pencil on Link's desk here ya go.

Link: Thanks, Mido could use a page there Zelda.

Zelda: Unreluctantly hands Mido a page

Mido: Thanks yo.

About an hour or so later.

Link: Okay I don't get it.

HMS: What don't you get?

Link: Creationalism says we just appeared out of no where?

HMS: Well, not no where.

Link: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Sheila agreeing with Link: Yeah that's like pretty stupid.

HMS: That's what people believe in. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Mido: Yo creationalizm is the shiz, so trippy.

HMS: Hey! Watch the language.

Zelda: It makes sense though, I guess it's because that creationalism is the easiest option to believe in.

Mido: Ahaha datz so funky.

Link: You're out of line, I just find it impossible.

HMS: Take it easy Link, our world is different. Just Earth has this theory. I am not a religious person in many ways, so please take this dilemma of yours to places outside of my class.

Link: Yeah, kay. Throws a nut on the floor. Damnit, didn't work.

Navi whispers: Owned.

Link: I told you already, nobody owns me.

Mido: Holy shiz youz got a fairy!

Some Zora in the back: Can you people please shut the hell up! I'm just trying to friggin' learn back here, you're all so full of it!

Link: Look what you did Mido.

Whole class stares at Link.

Link: I said Mido, not Link. What's wrong with you people?


End.

Okay I almost finished moving houses, I'll write up the next part tomorrow. Let me know how it's going guys!

Haha, just as great as always, Hero. Every character is still in character, and it's commical.

Again, keep up the good work! ;]

Alright here's some more:


Chapter 5
Part 2
Second Period Of The First Day

Link had arrived in the gymnasium to find just one other person there, "some hardcore zora" as he'd say.

Link: Hey.

Zora: Yo

Link: Where is everyone?

Zora: There's supposed to be at least ten people in our class.

Link: I'm Link.

Zora: I'm Ulifus.

Link: Hardcore.

Zora: What?

Link: I think I see some people coming now.

Through the gym doors, about ten other students walked in followed by Ganondorf.

Ganondorf: Sit.

Class: Where?

Ganondorf: The floor. NOW!

Class: Sits.

Link: Why are you a teacher.

Ganondorf: Shutup.

Link: Why?

Ganondorf: Want to know why?

Whole class: Shaking head.

Link: Yeah.

Whole class: Smack head in disbelief.

Ganondorf: Never question the teacher, twenty pushups now!

Link: Pushups?

Ganondorf: Yeah, are you deaf?

Link: What's a pushup?

Ganondorf: It's like when you get down on the floor, almost lying down but palms flat on the floor about shoulder width apart, feet standing on your toes, then lower to the floor as far as you can without touching the ground and then come back up and repeat.

Link: Idiot stare

Ganondorf: Do it!

Link: Right.. you're whack.

Ganondorf: Whack? Backhands Link in the face.

Link: Falls to the floor You want to fight?

Ganondorf: No, I'm enforcing corporal punishment.

Link: Corporal Punishment?

Ganondorf: Oh my god you're so stupid, just SHUTUP! Every time you open your mouth without permission, you do twenty pushups.