(Fan/Act) The Great War (T)

This is my first fan action ever...so bear with me if its kinda bad...and comments will help.

By the way, this takes place in TP's version of Hyrule...

Prologue

There is a war raging between Hyrule and it's neighbor the Gerudo's. Ever since Ganandorf was killed, the Gerudo's wanted revenge by waging war on Hyrule...

Chapter 1

*inside of camp in Gerudo Valley*

Captain Nirbeth- Ok, were going to attack Lake Hylia first. We are going to send in the 22nd Infantry with half of the 45th (archers) for support.

Captain Alyia- Don't you think that's too agressive? I mean, i don't think that they are gonna fortify Lake Hylia so weak.

Captain Nirbith- Does it look like i care? Anyways, if we take the Lake, we have a good foothold in Hyrule for our operations.

*meanwhile in Hyrule Castle*

Soldier-...huff huff...Sir.....

King- Catch your breath soldier.

Soldier- Sir, the Gerudo's are mobilizing their troops!

King-...mhhmmmm....Get back to your post!

Soldier- YES SIR!

*In the throne room*

King- Ok, the Gerudo's are moblizing, but we don't know where they're attacking yet.

General Wallace- I think they're going to attack Lake Hylia, just because they can gain a foothold in Hyrule for their operations.

General McHenry- No, they're going to attack Zora's Domain thorugh the Snowpeaks because they can take a shot at Castle Town and then attack the rest of Hyrule.

King- Let's set up the 2nd Infantry at Lake Hylia and then the 41st Archers and the 5th Calvery at Zora's Domain.

General Wallace & McHenry- YES SIR!!!

*At Lake Hylia, with the Gerudo Army over looking it*

Captain Nirbeth- Well boys, it's go time...CHARGE!!!

The 1st climbs down the Lake Hylian Cliff while the 2nd Infantry of the Hyrulian Army sets up to defend it's land...

I know the characters are kinda bad right now, but i'll develop them, and i'll have some soldier characters for both sides.

I really liked it all...Except the prologue...It was way short...

EDIT: AWSOME! I'M YOUR FIRST FAN THATS POSTED!

It's good. There are a few things you could fix though. I mean you could read over it and change what doesn't make sense. Try not to say things like 2nd, try spelling it out, like this: second.

thanks! yea, i know the prologe was short, it's enough to lay down somewhat of a scene for the rest of the story though.

Originally Posted by Pinto545

thanks! yea, i know the prologe was short, it's enough to lay down somewhat of a scene for the rest of the story though.

Yeah I guess your right...It did serve its purpose....so...

When will the next chapter come out?

Originally Posted by Zeldadudetp

Yeah I guess your right...It did serve its purpose....so...

When will the next chapter come out?

Yeah, when? I want to see how it improves and how the story progresses.

um...honestly, im working on it right now, but probably tommorrow.

Please and try to make it longer. The story right now is a little short but you have a lot of time to make improvement!

Originally Posted by Pinto545

um...honestly, im working on it right now, but probably tommorrow.

That's a bit early, but I guess these kind of fics (script way) are a bit faster to write.

Originally Posted by Hyrule144

That's a bit early, but I guess these kind of fics (script way) are a bit faster to write.

I always like stories in script form...easier to read. Not that that has to do with anything!

(heh heh.That that.)

Originally Posted by Zeldadudetp

Please and try to make it longer. The story right now is a little short but you have a lot of time to make improvement!

yea, i'll make the second chapter longer. and it's going to develop, but if you read and think through what the captains from the gerudo army say, you'll see some character in them, but you see their full character later in the story.

yeah its only the first chapter.

Ok, the battle scenes are not that greatly done, but i'm working on it.
__________________________________________________ ___________________________
CHAPTER 2

*As the First climbs down the cliff....*

Sergant Kelso- ATTACK!!!

*The Second starts to throw spears at the advancing Gerudos.*

Gerudo-AHHHHHH!!!! *spear strikes him in the back* *falls on other Gerudo*

Gerudo 2- @#$#!!!! *falls to the ground*

The 1st Gerudo sets foot on the ground.

Sergant Kelso- HOLD THE LINE!!!!

*The Gerudo's are pushing the Hyrulian Second Infantry back.*

Hyrulian Soldier- NO, NO, NO!!!!! *get stabbed in the chest and face by two Gerudo soldiers.*

Hyrulian Soldier two- Sir, we're losing too many men, we're gonna lose this fight!

Sergant Kelso- HOLD THE DAMN LINE! MAKE A PERIMETER AROUND THE DOCKS!

Captain Nirbeth- Good. Keep pushing foward. We have them boxed.

*The Gerudo Army is now surrounding the Hyrulian Second Infantry*

Sergant Kelso- SECOND BATTALION! PROTECT THE FIRST BATTALION AS THEY LOAD INTO THE BOATS!!!

Captain Nirbeth- Archers, fire at their escaping soldiers.

*The archers start to fire at the First Battalion*

Sergant Kelso- LOAD UP INTO THE BOATS EVERYBODY!!!!!

Hyrulian Soldider-AHHHH!!! *get shot in the back of the head, falls into the water.*

*As the First Infantry escape, the Gerudo Army is celbrating*

Captain Nirbeth- Someone get back to Command, we've taken Lake Hylia.

*Back at Hyrule Castle*

General Wallace- Sir, the Gerudo's have taken Lake Hylia.

King- Son's of a @#$%@'s.

General McHenry- We need to se...

General Wallace- NO! IT'S YOUR DUMB@$# THAT THIS EVEN HAPPENED IN THE FIRST PLACE! I SAID LAKE HYLIA, THEN YOU HAD TO SAY ZORA'S DOMAIN! WHO WOULD GO FOR THE KILL IN THE BEGINNING?

King- Wallace, calm down, we can recover.

General McHenry- Yea Wallace, chill out.

General Wallace- What should we do McHenry? Should we shove our thumbs up our $%# and let them march right through Hyrule? Or mabye just let them kill our men, because it's certanly looking like it right now.

General McHenry- No, we should send out Thrid Battalion in the cliffs near the Bridge of Elden and set up camp in that abandoned town, and set bombs on the Great Hylian Bridge, just incase they take that too.

King- Good idea McHenry, and mabye we can flank the Gerudo's by sending two battalion's of infantry and one company of archers to Snowpeak.

General McHenry- I'll go with the troops to the Great Hylian Bridge. *leaves room*

General Wallace- I hope he dies.

King- Don't say that. Just because you guys don't get along dosen't mean he should die.

General Wallace- I just didn't think you should have promoted him so early. He can't predict enemy movements well.

King- Ever since Link retired, we needed someone to fill in for him.

General Wallace- I guess your right.

*Meanwhile, over at Lake Hylia*

Captain Alyia- Nice job, didn't think you could do it.

Captain Nirbeth- See, being aggresive isn't bad.

Captain Alyia- Until they see your tatics and stop you.

Captain Nirbeth- I'll start going different dircetions then.

General Bazarth- Good job Nirbeth, you did well.

Captain Nirbeth *with smirk on face* Thank you sir. *Glances back at Alyia, still smirking*

General Bazarth- Now, what should be our next move.

Captain Alyia- We shou..

Captain Nirbeth- We should send some troops to Snowpeak, just incase if they attack from there.

Captain Alyia- Mabye we should keep pushing foward from the Great Hylian Bridge and then go to Ordon Village, since it would be a good spot for refueling our troops since it's a farming town.

General Bazarth- Ok, Nirbeth, you lead the attack across the Great Hylian Bridge. I'll give you the sixty-fifth and the seventy-eighth (both archer companies), and a infantry regiment. No reinforcements, because that should be enough man power to push to Ordon Village and set up camp there.

Captain Nirbeth- Are you crazy?!? No reinforcements? What if I lose to many men?

General Bazarth-I'm not crazy, if you start to lose a lot of men, just come back here, we have a base here now.

Captain Alyia- Do you want me to go to Snowpeak then?

General Bazarth- No, I want you to stay here. I'll send Sergant Elea to Snowpeak..

*At Zora's Domain*

Hyrulian Soldier- Man, why do we have to go to Snowpeak? It's cold there.

Hyrulian Soldier 2- Because, if they Gerudo's attack from here, they can start to surround Castle Town, so we have to defend Zora's Domain and push foward through Snowpeak.

Sergant Kelso- Anyways soldier, it shouldn't be that hard, i mean, whats the worse that can happen to us?

*Marching through Snowpeak*

Sergant Kelso- Man, I can't see anything right now. FORM UP IN CIRCLE FORMATION!!

*The infantry form a circle around the archers*

*Meanwhile, over at Yeti's Castle*

Yeti- U mean we kill Hyrule people, we get thei land?

Sergant Elea- Yes sir, you get anything you conquer, but you have to let us put it under our country.

Yeti-DEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LET GO MEEN!!!

*Yeti start charging foward at Hyrulian Army*

Sergant Kelso- What's that noise? *Yeti smacks him in the face, gets knocked-out*

Hyrulian Soldier-RETREAT!!!

*The Hyrulian Army starts to run away, as the Yeti's are throwing their bodies like rag dolls around.*

Hyrulian Soldier- NO, NO NO!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!! *gets thrown into other Hyrule soldier*

Hyrulian Soldier 2-@#$#! KEEP RUNNING!!!

*At Zora's Domain*

Prince Ralis-What on earth is that noise? *see's Hyrulian Soldiers running* Zora's! Protect this throne room!

*As the Zora's set up defense at the Throne Room, the Hyrulian Soldiers fight the Yeti's and Gerudo's near the water*

Hyrulian Soldier- AHHHH!!! *gets thrown at a rock, and sinks into the water.

Sergant Elea- Men, attack these worthless Zora's.

*As the Gerudo attack the Zora's, The Yeti still attack the Hyrulian Soldiers*

Yeto- GOOD!!! Now we have Zora's land *walks over the child, throws her against the cliff*

*Prince Ralis is now surrounded by Gerudo, and Sergant Elea walks up to him*

Sergant Elea- Your people are pathetic, it's only been five minutes and all of you men are dead.

Prince Ralis- We were poorly prepard to fight because you guys rushed us in here.

Sergant Elea- Ha, still, you only killed one of our men, and we killed all of your's.

Prince Ralis- Just don't kill the women and children, i beg you.

Yeto- LOOKI WHAT I GOT! *holding up a woman Zora, throws it over the cliff and the Zora hits the ground*

Sergant Elea- Too late.

Prince Ralis- Wai...*Get's stabbed in the chest by Sergant Elea*

Sergant Elea- *walks away* continue killing the women and children, and take all surviving Hyrulian Soldiers prisoners.

Gerudo Soldier- YES SIR!!

__________________________________________________ ___________________________

Kind of a twist in the end. Did I do a good job on it?

Btw, im writing this in notepad, since i don't have Word on my computer since it just got fixed last week.

Kind of a twist in the end. Did I do a good job on it?

Btw, im writing this in notepad, since i don't have Word on my computer since it just got fixed last week.

Yeah, you did a better job. Well, at least I know where all these grammar errors are coming from. Do you have Mozilla FireFox? If you don't download version 2. It has a spell check function.

I kind of rushed on this one, I just wanted to get through this part because the next part is hopefully going to be awesome.

__________________________________________________ _________________
CHAPTER 3

*Sergeant Kelso wakes up in the snow storm, and looks to see dead Hyrulian Soldiers lying all over the place, and a trail of blood leading back to Zora's Domain.*

Sergeant Kelso- What....is....going...on?

*Sergeant Kelso walks to Zora's Domain to see Hyrulian Soldiers and Zora getting burned on stakes.*

Gerudo Soldier- GET HIM!!!!!!

*As the Gerudo's attempt to get him, Sergeant Kelso floats down the Zora River and ends up Castle Town*

Hyrulian Captain- Soldier! What happened?

Sergeant Kelso- They.....*starts to spit out blood*

Hyrulian Captain- SOMEONE GET HIM A MEDIC!!!

*At Great Hylian Bridge*

General McHenry- Are the bombs set on the bridge yet?

Hyrulian Soldier- Yes sir! We're setting up defenses right now.

General McHenry- Good, now take second platoon and start shelling the enemies with bombs.

Hyrulian Soldier- YES SIR!!

*Meanwhile, down on the lake*

Gerudo Soldier- Yea, I know, I ha.....*gets blown into the ground by bomb*

Captain Alyia- ARCHERS! FIRE!

*The archers fire at the artillery up on the cliff*

Captain Alyia- We need to get our Infantry up the cliff so we can start advancing on the bridge, COVERING FIRE!

*As the Infantry is advancing up the cliff. the Hyrulian soldiers are firing arrows from the bridge*

General McHenry- Fire at the advancing Gerudo's!

*The Gerudo's finally get on top of the cliff and start advancing on the bridge*

General McHenry- Stop the Gerudo's!

Hyrulian Soldier- ATT.....*gets stabbed in the stomach and thrown over side of the bridge, and hits the water*

General McHenry- WE NEED TO FALL BACK!!!!!!

*The Hyrulian Army retreats, and the Gerudo's take the bridge*

Captain Alyia- Nice work men. Nirbeth, you can advance on Ordon Village now.

Captain Nirbeth- My pleasure...

*Meanwhile, over in Castle Town*

Sergeant Kelso-That's right, they over ran our regiment, and killed all of the Zora's there.

Hyrulian Captain- Including Prince Ralis?

Sergeant Kelso- They had him staked on a tree branch hanging over the waterfall.

Hyrulian Captain- Hmmm....Interesting.

*In the Throne Room*

King- We need to protect Castle Town, now sine they have a clear shot at us.

General Wallace- We need also to fortify Ordon Village since they have a clear shot there too and it's a farming town. They need that to resupply their troops.

King- Very well. Send three regiments of calvary, infantry and archers to Ordon Village. Then send 2 regiments to the North of Hyrule Field.

General Wallace- YES SIR!

*Over in Kakariko Village*

Darbus- We don't need your help!

Hyrulian Captain- If you want to fight the whole entire Gerudo Arm....

Darbus- Fine, help us out.

Hyrulian Captain- Ok, we need to fortify the entrances to the village, then we need archer