Zelda Universe Tales (T)

This is a story about ZU. Yes, a fictional story. Now, before I start, we need you to know a few things.

Most important, your name may come up here. This is a story about ZU. All mods will appear at some time. I don't mean things seriously. If you're in here, laugh at yourself. If you see your name, chances are from what I notice, you will be exaggerated or have a slightly different personality.

Notice what is in bold. That means, I don't know exactly what happens in Farore, Din, or the Staff Forum. Pani and Jodd (at least Pani) volunteered to write something about Farore if they wish. PM me if you want to as well. (I've got Nayru covered)

Next, you must know this. The Staff forum exists as a large tower. Obviously, the higher you go, the different people are there. (High up is Scott, James, and SPdude, while low is just forum and section moderators) The Clans (as they are protected forums) are at the very bottom of the tower, while the other places are outside. Next, VG Resource Center is a tower down the block. Since it is smaller, it's all inside, but more successful. They envy each other. VGRC will have the nickname of "Trolls' Corner" sometimes, just because the popular trolls are there. (It's a friendly place, unless you fail)

Lastly, the known character list. These are all the members I know for a fact they will appear as I type this. Whether they appear in this chapter or not. Some are main characters. (Like Scott)

Scott - The evil ruler of the Universe. (ZU)
James - Scott's assistant.
spdude - Is there, but doesn't talk much.
Eric - Scott's Secretary (you know him as sea)
Remus - The guy in the shadows
Captain Cornflake - Owner of Trolls' Corner, and lead troll of ZU. (when Hindmost isn't present)
Hindmost - Lead troll.
andi - Hindmost's *****.
PyroMyrmidon - Captain's best bud.
Gravemind (me) - No specific role.
SuperDecimal - Acts like a Drill Instructor, does Scott's dirty work.
Mirror Image - Snaps his fingers while Captain talks.
Jodd & Pani - Two teens in love.
Moo - ZU's werecow.
Stony - Gets made fun of by Razekial
Razekial - Cool Texas guy, see above.
Josh - ZU's camwhore.
Moiph - Secret Ninja Man
BigGoronSword - Wants pictures of sp-dude from sadida.
Sadi - see above.
LexLionHart - Runs the Zelda forum.
GDwarf - is like Scott, but a bit nicer. (And only to I:SB)
WilliamZelda4Ever - rofl poser guy.
Safer - Gets pissed at other parodies.

Even if you aren't on the list, you could still be in it! Maybe only for a few lines. (Some people above may not come for a few chapters, especially Moiph or Moo)

CHAPTER LIST: (only works 40 posts per page)

Prologue: This post
Chapter one: Invasion
Chapter two: The War
Chapter three: Lem's Invasion, Stony's Evasion
What if... #1
Chapter four: Plot Twists
Chapter five: f34rs

Prologue: Scott

*open with Scott whipping Bobslob for talking out of order, at the top of the Staff Tower. Scott wears a black and blue cape, and dark blue armor.*

Scott: *whipping after each word* You will not talk out of order again! Do you hare me?

Bobslob: It's "hear" not "hare", sir.

Scott: *raises whip* You just don't learn, son. *prepares to whip*

*enter James from elevator*

James: Sir! We have received a message from sector N, requesting you immediately.

Scott: Sector N?

James: The Nayru Clan. It was sent by Gravemind.

Scott: I see... well, lets get in the elevator and get ourse--

*from outside*

Saria: Yahoo!

Malon: What will your order be?

Epona: Yeah, lets get the story started!

Scott: Gah, James! What is that infernal noise?

James: It's the fiction sector, sir. They are playing out scenes from Majora's Mask, OOT Parody, and The Legend of Zelda: Empire of Darkness [T].

Scott: Bah. Eric! Page SuperDecimal to my office now.

Eric: Yes, sir. *pings* Hello, Lioness? It's Eric. Please tell SuperDecimal that he has been requested to Scott's Office ASAP. Tha--

*SuperDecimal comes crashing through a window with a jetpack*

SD: Sir Scott! You called me?

Scott surveys the damage for a few seconds and speaks.

Scott: Well... yes. I want you to close down the fiction sector and clean up there. Understood?"

SD: Sir, yes sir! *salutes*

Remus: Try not to break a window next time, it really pisse--

SD: Get on the floor, maggot. Give me $50!

*Remus gives SuperDecimal $50

SD: Aha, thank you soldier. Now give me 2,000 push-ups.

Scott, Eric, Remus, spdude, James:

Remus:

____________________________

I go to school, and usually have a few hours to myself. Updates can be expected between 1-3 days. Possibly 2 chapters depending on how things go. (This can be serious and/or comical at times) I update whether or not you post. If someone views, chances are they read.

...Where the hell did this come from?

It is mildly entertaining.

This is great so far, and it is funny!
Actually, I think it is more than mildly entertaining. I want more!

This... has peaked my interest!
This has so many possibilities.... I'm intrigued to say the least. :3

Very interesting! I can't wait to see if I'm in it.

Aww... I wasn't included? Really haven't read it, just saw the cast. >_> Reading it now.

Thanks guys. Blizzaga's posting made me almost forget... the Ghetto.

Chapter One: Invasion

Thirty Minutes after the Prologue

SD: About time you got done! My office better be clean when I get back.

Remus: Alright.

SD: You do NOT talk to me like that!

Remus: Sorry, sir.

*SuperDecimal takes a parachute, and jumps and breaks another window*

Scott: He really should stop doing that. James, lets to go sector N and see what Gravemind wanted.

3 minutes later

SD: Alright you fan-fictioners, listen up! The lord, Scott, demands some of you to be closed down for spam and annoyance. These threads include parodies and some other stories. They will be open in about an hour for cleanup.

Grass: *inhales some weed* So man like... uhhh... we just waaait? Chuuhahah.

SD: Yes. If anyone thinks of opening a new thread I will mak-- hey! What are you doing there, soldier!?

kirby8943: Opening Grass' parody, since you locked it.

*SuperDecimal turns to the crowd*

SD: I suggest you look away. This will be bloody.

kirby8943: uhh...

MEANWHILE, at VGRC

Ian: Did you see those guys at ZU? They have some "Ghetto" sprite place.

Captain: Sprite comics fail.

Ian: Yes, but... we're the only ones that have a gang--unless you include those timeline groups.

Captain: Timelines fail as well.

PyroMyrmidon: I say we teach them a lesson. *punches door* This is wrong!

Captain: Very well, Ron. Ian, will you come with us to the Ghetto?

Ian: No thanks, I'm going to update some things here.

Captain: Mirror, lets go.

At the Ghetto

The Master Sword: Something seems a little off with his gun, *****.

Blizzaga: Yeah... I noticed, slavey. Maybe a bit to the left?

Shade the Sheikah: Shut your mouth, Blizz. TMS is mah bro, fool.

TMS: Don't talk like that, shade. I think we--

Hylian Z: Quiet you two. Bring it to PMs, stop posting here.

Reign and Kisiro: So, I made this Blood Elf sprite. Any suggestions?

The Fierce Oni: Ehh... the head should be tilted more to the left, and--

*enter Captain, Pyro, MI (snapping his fingers) and Hindmost*

Pyro: What is this faggatory here?

Shade: Its just some sprite comics.

Hindmost: Shut up, curl up, and die.

Captain: All you do is fail. Draw some real comics like Asci.

Hylian Z: Hey guys, chill out.

*Captain throws a trashcan at Blizzaga, knocking him down*

Captain: Don't let me catch you making these abominations again.

*The four walk out*

Blizzaga: What asses. About time they left. Anywho, wasn't Reign and Kisiro showing us some Blood Elf sprite.

R&K: Yes, I was. I believe The Fierce Oni was talking.

TFO: Yes, I was. As I was saying, the head should...

Back to Scott

Scott: Blast these infernal contraptions. James, remind me to get better elevators later... Ah, here we are! Lets see what it was.

*Both start walking to Nayru, and notice some people talking in the lounge. At Scott's first word, all are startled and look at him*

Scott: Alright, where is Gravemind.

Gravemind: Right here.

Scott: What did you call me here for?

Gravemind: Well, you see, this iblis person has been spamming and doing a lot of ****. With Miniblin stepped down, and SacredSturgeon and Awkin offline, we need someone. So, I called you.

Scott: Fine. Where is this nuisance?

Gravemind: Check out the banning game. He's in there...



Scott: Bring me iblis!

iblis: What teh flux do you wat?

Scott: You've been a nuisance here, and I've come to extract you.

iblis: lol you have good vocablarary. Want to be freinds?

Scott: James, get the Ban Hammer.

James: Yessir, be back in a bit.



James: Here, my lord.

Scott: Say your prayers. *hits multiple times with hammer, getting an infraction each time.

Scott: Muhahahahahaaaaa! See you in 4 months, you worm. Now, what else calls for my attention?

James: Well, the Trolls' corner appears to be setting up an attack. They have cannonballs, noobs, adbots, logic, common sense, plasma grenades, and flying saucers all in their tower. Sources tell us that they will attempt an attack soon.

Scott: Very well. Bring the security and threat level to red, and get everyone ready to defend and attack. Lets get to the bunker/

James: What about that spdude?

Scott: **** him. He just supplies some money. Call eric and tell him, though, so he is prepared.

________________________

Thats probably all for today. Lem: Do you want to be affiliated with ZU or VGRC for this attack?

:XD



:XD




Ummm... my only comment is no more violence against the Blizzy.

Keep going, boy.

Need moar PANIJODD.

EDIT: You posted while I was. So good work, boy. *reads*
EDIT: Awesome, but. Still needs moar PANIJODD.

Heehee. I'm eager to see where Pani and Jodd come in.

'Tis pretty funny.

*chuckles* Pretty cute, Gravemind. *tosses brownies*

"James, get the Ban Hammer." <That line really amused me, for some reason.

This is simply a clever piece of work.
And you'll never run out of material because stuff always happens here.
Nice use of actual members and their personalities.
I look forward to seeing the next chapter.
Good-Luck!

Wahaha, I'm in this :XD

I'm like how I'm a weed-smoking hippy. And your facts are actually quite accurate.

Nice job, Gravemind!

Edit: Heh, I just noticed the part about the parodies in the first part, too. I'm glad to know I've had a, er, "lasting" effect on ZU's history.

That was simply awesome! :XD
This honestly is probably one of the better pieces of work here in this Fiction-place.
I thought the way you made me a man that does Scott's bidding was hilarious, especially since I'm the Hippy of the team, and frequently shout at Scott and tell him off for being too cold and harsh to people!
Excellent use of parodying the actual events on the site!

Originally Posted by SuperDecimal

you made me a man

I also noted this. Although it's an glaring error, that's why this is in the fiction section.

Originally Posted by Jehanne

I also noted this. Although it's an glaring error, that's why this is in the fiction section.

Tis no man.

Tis a muffin.

Haha, this is funny! I see you parodied off of SD's fiction board clean-up. XD

If you'd like, you can put me in it. I wouldn't mind, just so long as you don't make me look like...StonyLonesome. Oh, I shiver when I type that name. >.<

But if you don't want to, that's fine. I'll understand.

Originally Posted by Jehanne

Ummm... my only comment is no more violence against the Blizzy.

To the contrary . I like it, keep it up, I cant wait to see where this leads. It's like, a never ending story :O

Oh, I just looked over the cast again and I saw that I WAS put in there, but with a name that is no longer mine.

I ask that you either take me out or don't make me look like what you're planning. I find it offensive and rude the way you're putting it, Gravemind. :glare

The Ban Hammer. How unoriginal. The name is obvious. You hit someone enough, and they get banned. If my cliché detector was working, it would've probably gone off the moment it's name was mentioned - and then kept going right up until the end of the chapter.

...I want one. Know where I can buy it?