(com)OOT Parody- 3x Link [T]

*claps* Aw man, the chapter was awesome! Gotta love the "Death!!" and "Keaton!!" parts ^_^ Sucks to be White in this situation though...poor thing. But either way...can't wait for more! ^_^ Weee!

Originally Posted by Grass

Beamos: Warning! Intruder alert! Commencing security sequences. Retreiving file “laser.exe”… … … ERROR! File not found! Commencing hard drive scan for “laser.exe”… Searching in “Program Files” folder… Searching in “My Documents” folder… Searching in “Secret Porno Stash” folder… “laser.exe” found! Program running…

Yellow: What’s going on?

Beamos: Welcome to Laser.exe. Choose your type of laser:
-Weak
-Kind of powerful
-All-powerful, all-destroying ultra super mega chaos laser (comes in 8 different colors)

… … … “Weak” laser selected. Firing weak laser…

Black: Here it comes!

Beamos: Loading laser… 1%... … … … … …1.1% … … … … …

Black: …Okay, how do we kill this dumb thing?

Navi: It’s subsceptible to bombs, I think.

Yellow: *picks up nearby Bomb Flower and throws it at Beamos*

Beamos: FATAL ERROR! HARD DISK NOT FOUND! PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTIN- *explodes*

Rofl! That was the best part..."laser.exe"...brilliant! I loved that chapter the best!

I just started coming here so...the Zelda thing was hilarious!! And Malon and Talon seemed so...dysfunctional. It was pure gold.

Keep it comin'!

Yes you reallyshould make it into a flash movie if you havem macromedia flash

this is exellent, by the way for the zora thing i voted suicidal and depressed because it would just really contradict the zoras so much and it would be a good idea, also dont forget about the happy mask thing because its a real laugh as well, good luck

Originally Posted by Sekal

Rofl! That was the best part..."laser.exe"...brilliant! I loved that chapter the best!

I just started coming here so...the Zelda thing was hilarious!! And Malon and Talon seemed so...dysfunctional. It was pure gold.

Keep it comin'!

I was just going to quote that, my favorite part in all the history. *sits and waits*

I have to say,
your one of the best writers I've ever...uh, read?
Yeah, love your work!
Don't ever stop!
Random to...umm...whatever you were saying.

Interesting that the bulk of the voters chose either "big words" or "depressed and suicidal". I would have thought that at least one person would vote for "gangsta" or "scared of everything." Oh well. I guess it's a showdown between those two. If you haven't voted yet, please do.

...And if you're one of the people that voted but has never posted in my thread I know who you are and I've got my eye on you.:glare (Just kidding, of course, but it is a public poll so I really do know who you are. )

I voted for depressed and suicidal. It would be funny if one of them took their sharp Zora fins and killed them selves.

This story's great. You should make the Zoras depressed and suicidal for emo zoras. Cutting themselves with fins.

i prefer food obsessed, i mean, king Zora was really fat, and maybe Ruto could've gone in Jabu-Jabu for food... that would be more fun...

I really think you shouldn't make a poll (though I voted on it), you should give the characters whatever you want. We are not the autors, you are and you can do whatever you want on it.

:XD I just read the entire thing and I laughed my @ss off!! It's SO funny!! I want the next chapterr!! now!! Oh, and I can't wait to see how you make the gerudo's!! I'm excited!! :XD

Gangsta is the way to go. You should have them walk up Zora's River and have the setting change from rich suburbs to the ghetto, and when they get into the domain have one of them get hit with a drive-by.

Good job. Keep writing.

This is a record number of non-me posts between updates! Hurray! And my thread has now reached over 1000 views! Double hurray! Also, a lot of new readers, which makes me happy as well.

Originally Posted by exidid

I really think you shouldn't make a poll (though I voted on it), you should give the characters whatever you want. We are not the autors, you are and you can do whatever you want on it.

The thing is, at first, I was torn between three options- the first three in fact- big words, depressed, and crazy. They all had very good plot possibilities for the Zoras. I could have flipped a coin and called it over with, but I decided just to involve everyone else for this time only to decide how the Zoras should be. I also put in a couple other personality options just to make it a better poll.

Although, I do understand that it's funnier when the personality is a surprise, so this will be the first and last poll.


And, one last thing, everyone- after reading this, take a gander at my signature. When I update this thread, it will be written in my signature in Deep Sky Blue font. Just a heads up.

Enough talking: Dodongo Time!

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: EXPLORING DODONGO’S CAVERN

The four reach a hallway.

Navi: HEY!

Yellow: …What?

Navi: You should go down this hallway.

Yellow: Thanks.

Baby Dodongo: ROAR!

Navi: Woah!

Baby Dodongo: You in my territory! I beat you up real good now!

Navi: You and what army, small fry?

Baby Dodongo: …Hey! Where go everyone else? …Fine, then I rip you to shreds!

Navi: You and what teeth, baby?

Baby Dodongo: ….Okay, then I trip you make you fall!

Black: *stabs Baby Dodongo*

Baby Dodongo: Hah! That no hurt one bit! Now I- *explodes*

Navi: Little runt.

The four reach a large room.

Yellow: Black, do you know what rhymes with Deku Tree?

Black: No, wha-

Keese: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Yellow: Well, technically, yes, that does rhyme with “tree”. But that’s not the answer I was-

Keese: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Yellow: Jeez, shut up! *shoots Keese with slingshot*

Navi: …Let’s continue.

*The four enter a large room with two Dodongos.*

Dodongo: Hey! You in my territory! I beat you up real good!

Black: What? Even the adults butcher their grammar?

Yellow: Better than the Gorons, at least.

Navi: You aren’t setting a good example for your kids, you know.

Dodongo 2: You shut up now! We beat you up real good!

Black: Navi, how do we kill these guys?

Yellow: Wait… I have a question. Exactly whose territory is it- yours, or yours?

Dodongo: It my territory!

Dodongo 2: What you say? This my territory!

Dodongo: I am the one who buy this territory with own money!

Dodongo 2: But I am one who kill man who come to collect mortgage!

Dodongo: It my territory and I kill you if say it yours!

Dodongo 2: No, I kill you if say it yours!

Dodongo: ROAR! *breathes fire*

Dodongo 2: ROAR! *breaths fire*

Dodongo: AAAH! MY FACE BURNING! *dies*

Dodongo 2: AAAH! MY FACE ALSO BURNING! *also dies*

Black: Nice one there.

The four enter a room, and the door shuts and iron bars drop down behind them.

Navi: STRONG IRON BARS…

Black: …ARE NEEDED TO KEEP YOUR FRIGGIN MOUTH SHUT.

Navi: …Hmph.

Yellow: Wait, why DID the door lock? *steps forward*

Lizalfos: *drops from ceiling* Yo, homie, ya gotta check this out! We got two little white boys on our turf!

Lizalfos 2: *drops from ceiling* Aw, hell no! Y’all listen up, whitebreads, y’all best be leavin’ now before we open up a can of WHOOP-ASS!

Lizalfos: Ooh! Burn!

Black: You guys are lame.

Lizalfos: We ain’t jokin’ around, white boy.

Yellow: Actually, the door is locked, so we can’t leave.

Lizalfos: Then we’s gonna kick yo asses!

Yellow: Wait! I have a question.

Lizalfos: Shoot.

Lizalfos 2: But not literally!

Lizalfos: Ooh! Burn!

Yellow: …Right. So, exactly whose “turf” is this, yours, or yours?

Lizalfos: Mine, homie!

Lizalfos 2: Now what the hell you on about, homedawg? This here’s my turf. I’m just lettin’ ya stay here.

Lizalfos: Are you fo rizzle?

Lizalfos 2: Fo shizzle!

Lizalfos: Fo shizzle, my nizzle!

Yellow: Ooh! Burn!

Navi: Yellow! Shut up!

Lizalfos 2: Bring it, dawg! *draws blade*

Lizalfos: Ooh, you askin’ for it now, homie! *draws blade*

Lizalfos 2: YAA! *stabs Lizalfos*

Lizalfos: YAA! *stabs Lizalfos 2

Lizalfos 2: AAAH! YOU KILLED ME! *dies*

Lizalfos: AAAH! YOU KILLED ME! *dies*

Black: Wow, everyone here’s a moron.

Navi: Well, the door’s unlocked, so let’s go.

The four continue until they meet two more Dodongos.

Dodongo: Hey! You on my territory! We beat you up real good n-

Yellow: So whose territory is it, yours, or yours?

Dodongo: Mine, because I buy land and pay bills!

Dodongo 2: Yeah, what he said!

Yellow: Well, that’s not good… Navi, how do we kill them?

Navi: Their weak point is their tails.

Yellow: Hmm… Hey, look! Someone’s peeing in your territory right behind you!

Dodongo: WHAT? I beat them up real good! *turns around*

Dodongo 2: *turns around* I no see no one…

Yellow: Now, Black! *jump attacks Dodongo’s tail*

Black: Yaa! *jump attacks Dodongo 2’s tail*

Dodongo: AAAH! MY TAIL! *dies*

Dodongo 2: AAAH! MY TAIL! *dies*

Black: Awesome. Let’s keep going.

The four continue until they meet another Beamos.

Yellow: Oh no, another Beamos. Whatever shall we do?

Beamos: Warning! Intruder alert! Commencing security sequences. Retreiving file “laser.exe”… Laser.exe opened.

Welcome to Laser.exe. Choose your type of laser:
-Weak
-Kind of powerful
-All-powerful, all-destroying ultra super mega chaos laser (comes in 8 different colors)

… All-powerful, all-destroying ultra super mega chaos laser chosen. Choose your color.

… Dangerously hot pink chosen. Firing laser…

Black: You better hurry up, Yellow, you only have 3 years to throw a bomb at it…

Beamos: Loading laser… 1%... 98%...

Black: Holy crap! Watch out! *dives out of the way*

The Beamos fires a large, dangerously hot pink laser that is so powerful that it rips through Hyrule into another dimension.

Tingle: Ow!

Wolfmother: Hey...

Beamos: Recharging laser…

Yellow: Here it goes again! *picks up Bomb Flower and throws it at Beamos*

Beamos: Would you like to turn your computer off, or switch users, or put it in standby?

Yellow: Turn off, please.

Beamos: Good night! *explodes*

Black: Wait, how come this one was so much faster?

Navi: This one was a PC. The other one was a Mac.

Black: Ah, that explains it. Let’s go.









...Out of curiosity, did anyone get the Wolfmother joke?

hahahahaha! but whatever happened to white? and when you get to the water temple, are you gonna show the battle of their evils sides or are you gonna kill black?

it would be so funny if the Zoras were food obsessed... then, like, jabu-jabu could've just eaten Ruto because they were fighting over some fish...

OH YEAH! ALMOST 300th POST!

soz i havent posted in a while my password wouldnt work :@ anyway, i know i voted for the depressed and suicidal one for the zoras but i now think that it should be extremely timid and scared of everything because you could just see how it would pan out example:

white: hey

zora: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

yellow: whats the matter, man

zora: DONT HURT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and so it would go on

i still like the idea of food-obsessed... but the zoras are supposed to represent wisdom, aren't they?

Originally Posted by Carge

hahahahaha! but whatever happened to white? and when you get to the water temple, are you gonna show the battle of their evils sides or are you gonna kill black?

Don't you remember Chapter 14? He held a bomb for too long and got thrown against a wall, and has a concussion. He's recuperating in the Potion Shop- check that chapter for details.

Originally Posted by Carge

i still like the idea of food-obsessed... but the zoras are supposed to represent wisdom, aren't they?

Not in here they don't.



A little message for everyone who reads this thread- if you read, post! I know every comic maker and story writer has this problem about not enough people posting in this thread. And honestly, I'm fine if you don't post after every chapter. But if you read this thread, and enjoy it, or don't enjoy it, post at least once, just so I know how many readers I have.

On that note, I'd like to thank those who have been here since the beginning- skeletonwarrior, Carge, unknown_turnip, and exidid, to name a few.

And the next chapter... will... be... *snore* later.

i loved the lizalfos!! they were so funny fo shizzle