[Fan/Misc] Game Over - A Collection Of Short Stories

This thread is something I was thinking of doing for a while. Basically, I'm going to be posting short stories inspired by various videogames. These stories will try to offer something different from the usual videogame fiction. I want to give readers a slice of the game that they might not have thought about before or might be interested to read about. This could mean expanding on minor characters, showing what might happen between games, or maybe a humorous twist on a game world. Whether I succeed in doing something different remains to be seen

These stories will have various styles and thus various ratings. I wasn't sure what to put in the thread title regarding this. So please check the classification of the particular story before reading it to maximise your enjoyment of this thread.

Without further ado, let's kick things off with a Metroid story. I hope you enjoy this thread.

Between The Stars

[M] Sexual references, adult themes, violence

Samus stirred from her sleep. Her vision came into focus as she let in a yawn. The first signs of daylight were peeking over the horizon. The last lingering fingers of the night were beginning to melt into the day. Long shadows stretched over the floor of the apartment as the brilliant orange of early morning pushed back the night. She brushed her tangled mess of hair out of her eyes. She swung her legs off the bed. Samus looked at the sheets strewn over the bed and trickling off the side, pooling in a twisted pile. It must have been some night. She stood up and stretched, the light catching the curves of her body. Her bare skin took on a pink hue with just a hint of orange in the morning light. It felt confining to be without clothes, without her power suit. She felt trapped. She quickly looked around for her attire as the unsettling feeling seeped in. As she looked around, she caught sight of the man she had spent her evening with. He was lying on the bed, as bare as she was. He had a rather toned body, the light and shadows moving across his muscular frame as he breathed in and out in his sleep. She did not know his name. The events of the previous night were now vivid in Samus’ mind. It was the usual end result of having tensions and frustrations to exorcise and no Space Pirates to shoot. Those frustrations had been expelled vigorously. It had been some night. She was relaxed and calm finally. At least for one more day. Then the cycle would probably continue until the Space Pirates gave her other, more violent, means of therapy. Samus quickly found her various pieces of clothing scattered about the floor and swiftly put them on. The feeling of being enclosed made her feel more comfortable and drove out the feeling of being exposed; she felt vulnerable without something around her. It was a conundrum that she hated being disrobed, yet it was a necessary part of intimacy, if she could call this intimacy. It was more of a means to an end to her. Intimacy would imply emotional, as well as physical, exposure. Emotional exposure was not something she was keen on. The events in her life and the sensations they conjured, starting with that fateful day on K-2L, were not something she was interested in divulging to anyone. She lived alone, as cold and distant as the furthest reaches of the Federation. Her visits to the populated parts of the Galaxy were sporadic and infrequent. It was usually a supply stop here, ship repairs there, and when jobs were nowhere to be found.

She walked towards the door, slipping on her shoes on the way. Samus pressed her hand against the activation panel and the door silently slid open. She did not look back as she walked down the hall and towards the elevator. The elevator’s clear doors opened as she approached. Her footsteps echoed loudly as she entered. She sleepily pressed the ‘ground floor’ button before leaning her back against the rear of the elevator. The floors rose up and passed above her as the elevator gently slid down the shaft. The faintest of hums was the only sound she could hear. Nothing was awake at this hour. Nothing was alive. Even in the darkest of nights, insects chirped and birds occasionally squawked, but in the fleeting moments between night and day, all was silent. It chilled Samus to the bone. There were no sounds after they came that day far off in the past. A cacophony of destruction, sounds of pain, agony and death rang out across her home settlement. As soon as they left, as soon as the Space Pirates were gone, there was not a sound of life at all. Except for her own. She found her parents, or rather, what was left of them. She did not know what to do, so she just sat next to her parents amongst the silence, amongst the death. She did not know how long she sat there. After what might have been a few hours or a few days, the Chozo came and found her. The rest, as they say, is history. The elevator reached the ground floor and politely opened. Samus departed the elevator and walked towards the building’s exit, located at the end of a lavish foyer. Serene, clear waterfalls trickled down the walls and into green, vibrant ponds lining the sides of the room. It was extraordinarily extravagant for an apartment building. It was almost obnoxious. The main exit swished open as Samus approached, a gentle breeze of cool air danced through the open doors. Samus’ hair danced in turn, rising and falling with the rhythm of the breeze. The street outside was empty save for the odd Repulsor Car, their drivers awake at this hour not through choice, but by necessity. Employment is a harsh mistress. At least they had employment. Samus’ would give anything for a job right now. Populated planets, with their cities and people, were full of life; mundane and boring life. Selfish and ignorant life. Blissfully paying no heed to the threats that are out there. Ignorant to the fact that the Space Pirates could swoop down here today and take whatever they wanted. They could ruthlessly take the selfish lives of those that dwelled here. And someone else, some other poor child, would sit amongst the death. Samus realised she was gritting her teeth. She relaxed and sighed. Maybe she was just resentful, jealous perhaps? Perhaps an unseen envy had crept over her as the years wore on? A grumbling noise from her stomach stirred her from her thoughts. Regardless of the life one led, a hungry stomach was still a hungry stomach.

She spied a small café on the corner a small distance from her. It seemed to just be opening with its holo-signs flickering to life, enticing early risers to sample their goods. Samus shrugged with a smile. At least there was one redeeming feature of being amongst civilization. It had been some time since she had a decent coffee. The warm aroma filled Samus’ senses as she neared the café. The doors opened and she walked inside. She was a little surprised to see that this establishment had people behind a counter, real, actual people to serve you. It must have been some kind of gimmick to attract customers. Everything was usually automated. You would walk in, tell a machine what you wanted, and it would be dispensed. Samus managed a smile at the employees, forced but polite. The staff quickly took her order and within a short time Samus had a coffee and piece of cake in hand. She took a moment to breathe in the heavenly smell. It filled her nose and mouth and lungs. She would have been more than satisfied if this was all she could have had. The aroma lingered blissfully has she sat down at a table inside the coffee shop. She lifted the cup to her lips and gently blew the steam off. She knew she should wait for it cool a little, but it was the curse of a good cup of coffee that it beckoned you to taste it straight away. It teased the senses, Samus knew it was too hot, but she knew it was too good. She took a sip. Immediately she recoiled as her lips and tongue burned. A wry smile crossed her face. No matter how many times she had learnt that painful lesson, she always did it. Perhaps it was best to start off with the cake. Samus broke a bit off with her fork and gracefully scooped it into her mouth. It was sweet. Very sweet. The icing was especially delicious. It tasted like some kind of chocolate and caramel blend. Whatever it was, it was good.

The café’s doors swished open as another customer came in. It was a woman about Samus’ age. She had fiery red hair that cascaded over her shoulders and just stopped short of her ample bust. It was easy to see that she had an athletic body underneath her form fitting clothes. It was healthy and toned. Samus guessed from her attire and a slight, but not offensive, gleam of sweat covering her skin that she was out on a morning run. Her running shorts were brief to say the least, stopping at the top of her thigh, showing just how long her legs were. Samus’ eyes lingered on the stranger’s legs, from ankle to thigh, for a fleeting moment as she walked towards the counter. It did not escape the woman’s notice, however. She glanced at Samus and looked her in the eye before flashing her a flirting smile. Samus smiled back. The woman stepped up to the counter and made her order. Samus took a sip of her now slightly cooled coffee. The woman now had her back to Samus. Samus took the opportunity to let her eyes wander over the stranger’s athletic curves. As the woman waited for her coffee to be prepared, she turned her head to see Samus watching her. The woman smiled a slightly devilish, mischievous smile. She received her coffee and walked over to Samus.
“Mind if I sit here?” asked the woman.
“It’s a free galaxy,” replied Samus, more eager than her tone would let on.
The woman took her seat and nursed her coffee, “You’re up early.”
“I’m an early riser,” said Samus. “You run?”
“Every morning,” said the woman. “I like to keep my body in top condition.”
“It is in top condition,” replied Samus, taking another sip of her coffee while allowing her eyes to indulge in this woman’s curves once more.
“Running helps me unwind too, gets rid of the tension,” said the woman. “You seem kinda tense yourself, your hair’s a mess.”
“I haven’t had a chance to do anything except get coffee,” laughed Samus.
“Well, hey, if you only get a chance to do one thing, why not let it be coffee?” chuckled the woman. “Is coffee your way to unwind and relax?”
“Ha, no, I’d say coffee does the exact opposite, but it tastes so damn good,” said Samus. “There’s a lot of tension in my line of work and I really shouldn’t add to it with coffee. I find I need to expel my tension quite energetically and frequently.”
“And what’s your line of work?” asked the woman.
Samus paused, “Security.”
“How do you get rid of the stress?” said the red haired beauty. “A job like that, there must be a lot of it. Do you run or workout?”
“No,” said Samus. “I find…other…ways.”
The woman smiled and looked at Samus with a flash of playfulness in her eyes, and a hint of boldness in her voice, “Can I help you with that?”
“I think you might be able to,” replied Samus. “I don’t want to interrupt your morning exercise though.”
“You’ll be adding to it,” winked the woman.
Samus finished off the last bit of her cake and took a sip of her coffee. It was merely warm now. It was still tolerable though. The woman took another sip of her own coffee.
“I live just around the corner,” said the stranger as she stood up, leaving her half finished coffee on the table.
“You’re not going to finish your coffee?” asked Samus.
“Coffee might taste good,” said the woman. “But there are other things I enjoy more.”
“I’m inclined to agree with you,” Samus pushed her coffee away and stood up.

The woman put her hand on the small of Samus’ back and led her towards the door. The door swished open and they stepped through. The woman pulled her hand away as they stepped outside into the cool, fresh air.
“I’d have opened the door for you,” chuckled the woman. “But it’s kind of difficult.”
“Technology is killing politeness?” laughed Samus.
The two women laughed to themselves as they continued walking down the street. They walked at a brisk pace, anticipating what awaited them at their destination. A man was walking towards them. The women paid no heed to him, most likely just another early riser. As he came closer, he seemed to glance at Samus. Samus’ instincts flared, her fists clenched, and her eyes stayed on the man. He was wearing a coat, with his hands firmly inside his pockets. He neared the two women.
“You’re mine, Hunter,” said the man.
The man produced a small energy weapon from one of his pockets. Samus was already in action. He pointed the weapon directly in Samus’ face, but the bounty hunter had already brought up her own arm. She deflected her attacker’s arm with a quick strike before delivering a powerful kick to his chest. A shot was fired. Samus leapt into the air and curled her legs around the assailant’s neck, bringing him to the ground. She twisted her legs and waist. A snap from the man’s neck stabbed into the silence of the early morning. It was a satisfying sound. Samus’ chest rose and fell as the thrill of the moment took hold. She breathed in the moment. She craved it. She needed it. She bent down and whispered into the dead man’s ear.
“The Space Pirates will have to do better than sending some pathetic hired hand to take me down,” she said.

Samus stood up. She looked down at the now dead assassin. Samus felt the surge of adrenalin still pumping through her veins. It was exhilarating.
“Sorry about that,” said Samus as she turned around to see if her acquaintance was okay.
Samus paused. The woman was on the ground. Dead. The energy blast that had been fired had ripped a chunk out of her side. This woman who Samus had just met, who she had known for only a few minutes, was dead. Her line of work was dangerous. She paused for a few seconds. Samus grimaced, gritted her teeth, turned around, and walked on. It was just another risk of her job. People were bound to get hurt. It was just a fact. Samus lived alone. She left the scene behind and made her way to her gunship. Soon she was leaving the atmosphere, leaving the planet, and the people, behind. Samus headed for the deepest of deep space. Out there amongst the black was where she wanted to be. A screen began flashing on her cockpit control panel. It was a distress signal. It was coming from somewhere in the orbit of Talon IV.
“Finally, something to shoot,” she sighed.
She plotted a course for the distress signal. Her ship gracefully coasted through space, heading towards unknown danger, unknown adventure. Samus sped away from people, away from civilization. This is where she lived. This is where she needed to be. This is where she wanted to be. It was where she could do no harm and do the most good. She lived between the stars.

Now let's move on to another popular franchise, The Legend of Zelda. This story takes a look at, as you can tell from the title, the other side.

The Other Side

[T] Mild violence

The sun rose high above Southern Hyrule Field. The trees swayed happily in the breeze as they soaked up the light pouring down upon their canopies. A golden bug flittered past. It was yet another lazy, mundane day. The breeze was hot and dry, Kargarocs circled above looking for the next victim of the heat of midday. Two Bokoblins neared a small, shallow pool of water.
“Why does it have to be so hot out here?” grumbled one.
“Just be thankful you’re not with the Gerudo Desert contingent, Chaster,” replied the other.
“At least their pay is better,” replied Chaster as he knelt next to the shallow pond and scooped a handful of sweet, cool water into his mouth. “You know they get as much boar to eat as they want, Bill?”
“Yeah, I know, but Ganondorf’s gotta give them something for putting up with the desert,” sighed Bill.
“My skin’s turning purple out here in the sun,” said Chaster, taking another mouthful of water. “Why do we have to be stationed out here in the sticks? What are we doing here? There’s nothing but rural hicks and monkeys out this way.”
“If there’s so much to complain about, why don’t you quit?” said Bill, his tone indicating he had heard Chaster’s grievances many times.
“And do what instead?” scoffed Chaster. “You know there’s no place for fellas like us in Hyrule except in Ganondorf’s army. Believe me, I’ve tried.”
“Really?” said Bill. “Where’d you try at?”
“Oh, I tried to get a job at the mines at Death Mountain, they wouldn’t have a bar of it,” said Chaster as he stood up. “I s’pose, the Gorons wouldn’t have hired a human even. Then I tried in Castle Town. That posh shop there, the manager just leered at me, tried the bar, but the barmaid came at me with both fists. The Fortune Teller wasn’t there…maybe she knew I was coming? Even went to ask a creepy kid there if I could help her with her bug collecting, but when I got there, I could see through the window…what I saw…Din, it was…she was happy, giggling…her poor parents…Of course, the guards saw me in the vicinity at the time and tried to arrest me for her parents’ murder. Got out of there luckily.”
“Didn’t know you tried so many places,” said Bill, throwing his club over his shoulder. “Where else did you apply?”
“Everywhere!” said Chaster. “Even went to the Fishing Hole, the lady there seemed alright, except she caught me staring at a picture of her sister. Threw me out. Eventually, I realised, there’s only one place for a guy like me to go.”
“If you hate it so much, why not just live on your own, survive on your own?” asked Bill.
Chaster rolled his eyes as they both continued on their patrol route, “I got a wife and kids, gotta support them somehow.”
“How many kids?” asked Bill.
“Three,” replied Chaster. “Ages seven, five and three. Gorgeous kids, they’re gonna be going places.”
“You’re an optimist, eh?” said Bill. “You really think when they grow up there’ll be a place for them in Hyrule? Humans, Gorons, Zoras, they don’t exactly look upon us favourably. Even those damn monkeys are terrified of us.”
“This is the only place to go at the moment,” said Chaster. “But I’m sure we can show Hyrule that we’re not here by choice, that we’re not murderous, we’re just…trying to survive.”
“How are you going to do that while you’re in Ganondorf’s army?” said Bill.
“I dunno,” said Chaster, shaking his head. “Start a movement with the other soldiers?”
“I don’t think the boss man would be happy with that,” said Bill, a bead of sweat appearing on his face as the sun continued to beat down.
“What’s he going to do?” asked Chaster. “He’s in another dimension or something, isn’t he? Still amazed how he manages to pay us.”

The two approached a large tree. Its shade stretched as far as it possibly could, almost seeming to give as much as possible to the two Bokoblins. Bill sat down against its trunk, the cool grass felt good, the air felt even better. Chaster put his club down and sat next to Bill, more in a lying position with his head resting against the trunk. He looked to the sky and watched as clouds lazily drifted by.
“How is the wife anyway?” asked Bill. “And the kids?”
“Haven’t seen them in three months ‘cause of this job,” said Chaster. “But I imagine they’re doing just fine. My wife’s been saving rupees, she’s got this crazy idea to open a shop in Eldin Field, then add another shop and so on. She’s always yakking on about it ‘there’s nothing in Eldin Field except those ignorant boar riders, speeding, being reckless, not careful of pedestrians, it needs something everyone can go to’. I hope she gets to do it. Heh, it always reminds me of the night we met. It was at a shop. Down in Ordon. I was so thirsty, I snuck into their shop looking for some milk. And who do I find with the same idea? It’s Sharon. We fell in love with each other right away. We snuck out with the milk. Tried to be quiet. There was a kid sleeping in there. She must be a few years older by now. Wonder how they’re doing. Does it every worry you?”
“Does what worry me?” said Bill.
“That the people we have to…attack…kill…that they might be mothers and fathers. That they might have loved ones?” asked Chaster.
“I try not to think about it,” said Bill. “Do the job. That’s what you gotta do. Like you said, you gotta survive.”
“Have you…killed?” asked Chaster.
Bill looked at his club. It had the markings of many a battle etched into its hard wood. It told a story of many fights, many injuries, but death?
“I don’t know,” replied Bill. “Maybe.”
“I don’t think I could,” said Chaster. “Does that make me a bad soldier…a bad Bokoblin?”
Bill turned to his friend, “Yeah, it makes you a bad soldier, but it doesn’t make you a bad Bokoblin. You’ve got compassion, it’s something more of us need. I’m sure if a human came across you, saw the compassion in your eyes, they too would open their minds and hearts, open them to the possibility that we could all live together. In peace. You are not a monster.”

As Bill finished talking, they heard footsteps coming their way. Bill snapped to his feet, grabbing his club. Chaster did the same, though he was slower to respond. They saw a figure on a nearby rise. He was human. Clad in green.
“Okay, if he does anything, stay behind me, Chaster,” said Bill. “They usually just pass by.”
The figure came closer. He spotted them. He drew his sword. He began running towards them.
“Steady, Chaster,” said Bill.
The figure came running at them faster and faster. Bill stood his ground. Chaster’s legs trembled slightly. The green clothed human came closer. Bill launched an attack with his club. The human side stepped it. The human swung his sword. Once. Twice. Bill fell to the ground. The human was silent. Almost revelling in this murder. Bill’s remains exploded, his possessions came flying out of him. The final insult, the human picked up a rupee that was once Bill’s. One. One rupee. This human had murdered Bill for one rupee. He turned his attention to Chaster.
“Please, don’t,” pleaded Chaster. “You don’t understand. I’ve got a wife and kids. I’ve got a wife and kids. I don’t want to hurt you. There was nowhere else for me to go, except to Ga – ” Chaster stopped himself, mid sentence, thinking of his non disclosure agreement in his contract. “Except to this life. I want peace.”
The human swung his sword. Chaster could not lift his club in time.
“You monster,” said Chaster, before the human’s blade struck his throat.

Link is a jerk -_-

Told you Chaster was a good name, didn't I?!

That was sweet Spork, now make a Mario one! Thats what you were gonna do right?

Oh no, Chaster! D:
(Hey, he's right. It is a good name XD).

Those were awesome. ^^' I agree, Mario next. And Peach should be in it. But whatever. xD

Um, I have no idea what I did to my last post XD, but! Spork, you're a gifted writer (like I said last time >_>) and I really enjoyed those stories. I look forward to some Mario action that could possibly become hentai... no, I men... yeah, hentai XD. I kid XD. Mwah, dear, look forward to more.

*kicks Spork and Z and LEAVES* XD

Of Mushrooms and Betrayal

[T] Mild Sexual References

Mario wiped the sweat from his brow before fumbling for a nearby spanner. He was lying on his back under a sink in the house of one of the Mushroom Kingdom’s fine citizens. Using the spanner, he loosened the pipe and took a section of it out. He scooted out from under the sink and sat up, holding the narrow tube up to his eye.
“Yup, there’s your problem,” he said, motioning for the house owner to look in the pipe.
The owner, a Toad, took a look for himself, “Ah, I see.”
“Travellers, taking the wrong pipe,” said Mario. “You really need to talk to the Department of Transport about this, they still haven’t made the by-pass after they made all those new pipes.”
Mario grabbed a plunger, and using the handle end, shoved the blockage out of the pipe. Several Toads tumbled out. They coughed and gasped for air.
“Oh thank you, thank you,” said one. “But my princess is in another pipe.”
Mario sighed, “Which pipe?”
“I dunno, I last saw her when we entered the pipes, she musta took a different turn or something,” said the Toad, more than a little panicked.
“How am I supposed to find her?” asked Mario.
“Just go to any pipe you can find, then you’ll find she isn’t there, be told so by friends of mine, then you’ll go to another pipe, you’ll do this about, I dunno, eight times, until you find the real pipe that my princess is in,” explained the Toad.
“I had plans today,” sighed Mario. “Me and the Princess were going to have a game of tennis, maybe take in a soccer game, then party it up back at her place, if you know what I mean, I’m going to get some stars tonight.”
The Toad rolled his eyes, “Like you and the Princess have ever done that.”
“Tonight maybe,” mumbled Mario. “Saved her enough times, done enough for her, how else can I show her that I love her?”
As Mario finished his mumbling, his Mailbox SP beeped to life. Reluctantly, he flipped it open.
“This better not be another plumbing job,” he said.
He opened the message, it was brief but urgent:

Mario, we need your help, the Princess has been kidnapped! By Bowser! I can’t do it because I’ve got a very busy day ahead of me, those daytime soaps don’t watch themselves! And it’s going to be especially good today because Toadette finds out that Toad and Birdo have been getting it on behind her back, and Lakitu filmed the whole thing, so they’re using it has evidence in the custody battle for Baby Donkey Kong. It’s the trial of the century!

PS. Can you pick up some milk on your way?

From,

Luigi

Mario’s heart sank, “…again? We had plans today…I bet Daisy doesn’t kidnapped all the time.”
“Gotta go, Mario?” asked the Toad.
“Yeah, Princess has gotten herself kidnapped again,” said Mario.
“You’d better go rescue her then,” said the Toad.
“Hypothetically speaking, would I be a bad person if…if I…y’know, didn’t go to save her?” asked Mario.
“Mario, what are you saying?! This is the Princess, you must save her!” cried the Toad.
“Yeah…I s’pose your right,” said Mario as he began trudging off.

Soon, Mario was traversing the Mushroom Kingdom towards Bowser’s Castle. He came upon his first enemy, a Koopa Troopa. Mario looked at what it was doing, walking slowly towards him in a straight line. Mario shook his head and walked around it. Many enemies were encountered on his journey, but they were all defeated, either by actually defeating them or just going around them. Before long, Mario came upon the Castle. It was a fairly gargantuan structure, with spires and towers reaching up, piercing the sky. A Twirly Wirly blocked the entranced. Its spinning allowed for easy access though, and Mario was soon inside. He climbed the stairs inside, they most likely lead to Bowser’s Chamber. Mario knew how it went, Bowser’s room for some reason had a retractable floor above a pit of lava, he hits the switch and bye bye Bowser, hello Princess.
“I better not get cake as a reward for this,” Mario said to himself.
Mario ascended the stairs until they came to an end in front of a large door. This was Bowser’s Chamber. Mario was ready to kick the door down, until he heard murmurings coming from within. Curious, he nudged the door open a little and peeked through. His eyes went wide as he took in what he saw. It was Bowser. With the Princess. In Bowser’s bed.
“I’m sorry, Princess, this never happens, I assure you,” said Bowser.
“Don’t worry, it happens to a lot of Koopa Kings,” said Peach. “Maybe you could use a mushroom?”
“I don’t need mushrooms!” bellowed Bowser before relaxing. “I’m sorry, Peach, it’s just, I want to make you happy.”
“I know, sweetie,” said Peach. “And you’re the only one who does.”
“What about Mario?” asked Bowser.
Peach chuckled, “That moustachioed loser? He’s good for doing what you tell him to, rescues, collecting star shards, tennis matches, but he’s just so…ewww, he’s a plumber for crying out loud, and you, YOU, are a King, with riches too vast to imagine. I can’t believe Mario hasn’t figured out I’m just using him to get a ride back to the Mushroom Kingdom after coming here for these romantic weekends.”
Mario clenched his fist and gritted his teeth, his eyes narrowed with rage.
“What if he catches us?” asked Bowser.
“Don’t worry, he won’t be here for hours,” said Peach. “And even if he did catch us, what’s he gonna do? Jump on our heads?”

Mario kicked open the door, fury and anger flowing through his veins. Bowser shrieked and held up his bedsheet to cover his chest.
“So you finally figured it out huh?” said Peach. “Don’t you get it, a plumber can never get a princess, I can’t believe you ever thought you had a chance. Go back to unclogging toilets, you peasant.”
“I’m so sorry, Mario,” said Bowser. “I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship in any way.”
“You’ll be sorry, Princess,” said Mario before walking away fuming.
“So, we’re still on for Golf on Sunday, right?” called Bowser.

Mario stood outside Bowser’s Castle. Lakitu hovered next to him, a camera dangling from a fishing rod in his hand.
“Let me get this right? You want me to go up to that window and film whatever’s in there? I know what’s in there, Bowser’s in there, you’re going to pay me for this right?” said Lakitu.
“One hundred coins,” said Mario.
Lakitu was flabbergasted, “Gee, wow, a HUNDRED?! I’ll get a 1-Up, I can have two lifetimes, actually do something with them too, all you do with them is fall down holes.”
“Are you doing it or not?” asked Mario.
“Yeah, yeah, you sure Bowser won’t see me?” asked Lakitu.
“He’ll be…distracted,” said Mario.
“Okay, here we go,” said Lakitu before flying upwards.

THE NEXT DAY.

Mario chuckled as he held up the front page of the newspaper.
“It worked,” said Mario.
A large picture was on the front page, taken from Lakitu’s footage, of the Princess in a rather compromising situation with Bowser. The headline read, “The Princess Is In Another Castle”.
Mario smiled broadly. He began reading the article. His heart dropped, his smile faded, and his chuckle turned to silence.

Princess Peach is finally moving on to more eligible bachelors, ensuring the future prosperity of the Mushroom Kingdom.
After having dated local plumbler, Mario Mario, for a number of years the Princess seems to be getting serious with a real contender for the title of Mr Princess Peach.
If rumours of marriage are real, analysts predict an unprecedented economic boom for the Kingdom and years of tension with Bowser’s army will finally be put to an end.
Opinion Polls show the Princess is now loved and adored by 99 % of the Mushroom Kingdom, with the remaining 1% being local moustache enthusiast, Mario Mario.

Mario saw a smaller story on the front page, “Local Overalls Wearer To Be Charged With Treason”

Mario Mario, noted wearer of overalls, will be charged with treason.
The charges come after Mario refused to say he loved the Princess in a recent opinion poll.
The charges become official as soon has he reads this story, and by reading this story he waives all right to a lawyer, fair trial or unfair trial.
The punishment is death by piranha plant.
The punishment will be carried out this afternoon in the courtyard of Princess Peach’s castle.
Refreshments will be available.

“Oh,” said Mario.

These are great. I hadn't looked at the games in this dark context before, although I did try to write one similar to your Zelda one, about a Moblin from the Forbidden Fortress.
Anyway, keep it up! I love a good story!

Well, it's been a while, quite some time, but here's a new piece from me.

A Merchant’s Tale

[T] Contains violence and sexual references

“Get into the business world, I said. Pick up a franchise, I said. What a wonderful idea, I said,” grumbled the cloaked figure scaling a rocky outcrop. “Fascinating location, they said. Interesting people, they said. Great commission, they said.”
The figure hauled himself on to a precariously placed pathway running along the top of the outcrop. He trudged down the path, cursing as he went before he came upon a jumble of crates illuminated by a nearby blue flame.
“Okay, let’s see,” he said as he took out a clipboard from within his cloak. “Location 27 is okay, everything is spick and span here. Why are there so many locations? They could at least give me a trainee to work with. Why is there even any location at this location? I haven’t had a customer in…well…ever…and now I’m talking to myself.”
He ticked off a few boxes on the clipboard before continuing on down the path. He came upon a rather large door blocking the path. There was an indentation and an inscription.
“Passage is tedium’s reward, find the conspicuously placed and significantly shaped object three kilometres back,” the Merchant read. “So that would be that village then…dammit, I’ve just been there!”
The Merchant sighed and turned around. He trudged back up the path, climbed back down the outcrop, swam across a stormy bay, stepped over tripwires and stole a few snake’s chicken’s eggs. Finally, he arrived back at the village. He spotted a sparkling object hanging in a tree.
“That must be it!” he said. “But how do I get up there?”
He looked around. His mouth hung open. Hanging up by a hook was a dead police officer. He was suspended over a fire with a crowd of locals watching on. That’s when the first villager noticed the Merchant and started walking towards him.
“You guys have a barbecue and you don’t invite me?!” exclaimed the Merchant. “I just want to be part of the community!”
All of the villagers started moving towards him, spouting who knows what in their local tongue. A rather large man with a potato sack over his head pushed his way to the front of the mob. He was brandishing a chainsaw!
“Que muyo mucho macho loco chainsaw lira?!” he screamed.*
The Merchant turned and ran towards the tree, leaping up and grabbing on to its trunk. He shuffled his way up to the tree and out to the branch. The villagers quickly lost interest and returned to their continuing experimentation of creating a snake/chicken hybrid. As he was about to come down, the Merchant saw a new face enter the village. He was wearing one fashionable jacket and shoes to match. The new arrival ducked behind a bush and pulled out his binoculars.
“Whoa, that chick with the headscarf is hot,” the new person said to himself. “I’ll impress her by showing her my shiny, big gun! Alright, Leon S. Kennedy, it‘s time to score!”
Leon went charging into the village, waving his gun at the woman with the headscarf. Leon went charging into a nearby house as pitchforks were thrown at him.
“Hello, a customer!” said the Merchant to himself.

He quickly climbed down from the tree and made his way back to the door that blocked his path. He placed the object in the indentation and a new path creaked open in front of him. He ran to the location nearest this Leon and waited for him to arrive.
The sandy haired man finally arrived at the store. He looked at the Merchant.
“A store?” said Leon in disbelief.
“Welcome, stranger,” said the Merchant as he opened his coat.
“You…uh, might get some more customers if you wore some clothes under that thing,” said Leon.
“I was wondering why it was so delightfully breezy,” said the Merchant.
“So what’s the deal, you get sent here to work off all the money you blew on strippers and lavender air fresheners after selling your story to the Fox Network like me?” asked Leon.
“Uh…n-noo…” said the Merchant. “Mostly just so I can pay child support. My wife left me a few years back, didn’t agree with my hobby.”
“What was that?” asked Leon.
“Exposing myself to strangers when I worked at K-Mart,” he replied.
“Okay, well, yeah…so, why the location?” asked Leon.
“Management has a thing for selling heavy weaponry in places filled with violent psychopaths, they say sales are bigger than ever with locations in such places as Vice City, San Andreas, Rogueport and Washington D.C.,” said the Merchant.
“Well, can I get, like, a rocket launcher, or something?” asked Leon as he fished in his pocket for money. “I have this much.”
The Merchant looked at the money in Leon’s hand, “That’s an egg.”
“A delicious egg,” Leon corrected.
“Alright,” said the Merchant. “For that egg, I can give you, let’s see,” the Merchant reached into his pocket and dug around for a few seconds before bringing his hand back out with his middle finger extended. “Aww, too bad.”
“Isn’t there…anything…I can do for you?” asked Leon, moving his eyebrows suggestively.
“Well, there’s something…” said the Merchant.
Leon stepped closer, “And what is that?”
“Well, it’s kind of a… ‘down there’ thing…” said the Merchant.
“I’m listening,” said Leon.
The Merchant pointed to a discoloration on the inside of his thigh, “Is that a mole or just a freckle? What the hell is it? I only got it since I came here and the sun’s never out, so I don’t think it’s a mole. You don’t think it’s serious do you?”
Leon rolled his eyes, pulled out his gun and shot the Merchant. The Merchant collapsed.
“I’ll take the lot, thanks,” said Leon.
“Damn, it’s just like K-Mart all over again,” groaned the Merchant.

*Translation: How much can I get for this chainsaw?[/size]

Oh, exquisite. That is one of the most plausible explanations to Peach's repeated kidnappings I've heard.