(Act)Blood and Gore: A collection of short stories [T]

This is my first attempt at posting fiction on ZU, so before the criticism comes out, just look through some of the other pathetically written junk in this section, and then compare it to mine. I think I might be just a bit better than Ryshu at writing. Also, these stories have undergone about 8 revisions. You should have seen the first drafts. Pathetic is the only word I can find to describe them.

A while ago, a few friends of mine and I were wondering "Why is it that so many authors are so tactful in avoiding blood and gore in their stories?" To me, no story is worth reading unless it's packed full of death and destruction, or else it's gotta have an incredibly awesome plot otherwise to distract from the fact that it's lacking in the death areas. These are my tributes to the wholly uncensored descriptions of bloody and painful deaths. Yes, they are short stories. I really don't feel like setting up a whole big plot and writing chapters. So, here's the first:

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Sven

Sven son of Bjorn was a baby. No, not that kind of baby. At seven foot eight, with hands larger than most peoples' heads, and with shoulders so broad that three men could stand behind them and not be seen, he could hardly be called a small child. He was a wuss.
He could kill four men in one sweep of his enormous broadsword, but if he got one scratch while doing so, he would run screaming to Mommy. He could crumple a suit of mail into a pancake with his bare hands, but if one edge of the scales had a sharp point, he would fall in pain on the ground, gasping for breath as tears streamed down his face.
Sven loved to go raiding the villages along the English coast. He would go alone in his massive longboat and destroy whole villages single-handedly. One day, as he hiked up and down the coastline looking for a settlement that he had not yet burned to the ground, he stumbled into a large band of very angry-looking peasants. They quickly formed a circle around him.
"Hey, it's that Viking who destroyed our town!" Screamed one.
"He burned all our houses!" Yelled another.
"And threw our wives into the sea!"
"He trampled our crops!"
"He poisoned our well!"
"He tore the heads off of all our cattle!"
"And what he did to the goat? That was horrible! There I was, cowering in a ditch trying to hide, and along he comes, grabs the goat, and --"
"Enough! No more stories about that goat! Fate has been kind enough to deliver this giant to us, and it would be a shame to waste the opportunity." The speaker picked up a stone from the ground and hurled it at Sven. The throw was not one that could qualify for an Olympic shot-put record. Needless to say, Sven immediately gasped in pain and fell to the ground, crying, as the small pebble bounced harmlessly against his foot.
The peasants pulled out knives and closed in on Sven. Through his tears, he saw what they were doing and realized that they were going to kill him. He composed himself enough to stand up and draw his sword.
Sven flailed mightily, but as his eyes were still blurred with tears, he couldn't see anything and had no idea where his tormentors were standing.
The peasants dodged his clumsy blows easily, and quickly placed many deep slashes along his back and arms.
The leader of the mob darted forward and dealt the final blow, slashing into Sven's stomach. Intense pain instantly gripped him, and Sven fell to the ground once more. Blinking through his tears, he looked down at his intestines, which were slowly spilling out of his body and flopping wetly on the ground. Blood spurted from dozens of wounds, and Sven was soon submerged in a pool of his own blood.
"Surely," thought Sven as his life slipped away, "Mommy will come and save me. She needs to fix my boo-boos."
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And that's all. I hope you liked it.

Hmm. It took up a lot more space on paper...

If my thread isn't closed by tomorrow or next, I'll try to post another story.

Hmmm... Very good, in some ways. It was kind of upsetting almost, but I loved the graphic description. You achieved that extremely well. And the story was pretty good also. Cudos. There's always room for improvement, as with everything, but you should be proud.

Beowulf, much?

Cute - in a bowel-y sort of way.

Originally Posted by poojalooba_cow

This is my first attempt at posting fiction on ZU, so before the criticism comes out, just look through some of the other pathetically written junk in this section, and then compare it to mine. I think I might be just a bit better than Ryshu at writing.

You're not a bad writer - but I think you just might be a jerk.

A while ago, a few friends of mine and I were wondering "Why is it that so many authors are so tactful in avoiding blood and gore in their stories?"

Maybe you should start shopping in a different bookstore.

Hey, there's no need to insult the other writers in here.

I'm not even going to attempt to give you any feedback on your story.

Well, it was unusual. In the good way. I guess.

8/10