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#1
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01-20-2006, 01:42 PM
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(sf/act)Rogue12(T)
Well heres a story I've been planing for awhile
Commets and critisium(sp?)appreciatated Prologue I ran for my life, the guards were chasing me. I held NO-TECHON, a box that had the power to transfom people to super soldiers, I was bringing it to the comon-welth. They fired at me, I ran faster and fired back, it hit a guard in the head, he fell over dead. A gunship flew over me and fired at the guards, they died quickly. I jumped in and we flew to the city. So what do you think, I write the next chapter after a reply Last edited by No12; 01-21-2006 at 05:24 AM. 
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#2
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01-23-2006, 02:07 AM
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Re: (sf/act)Rogue12(T)
Right I guess I won't get a reply until chapter one, I will wright to night because I got school now.
EDIT:I will post chapter 1 today but just need to finish it. Last edited by No12; 01-24-2006 at 01:43 AM.
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#3
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01-23-2006, 05:36 AM
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Re: (sf/act)Rogue12(T)
....Erm. That was quite a bit rushed... I suggest you put a lot more detail into your writing. More detail will increase the suspense.
__________________
 "Maybe it's the sum of a million coincidences we don't quite control that brings us to a particular place at a particular time, or maybe it's the choices we make, the actions we take. If there's one thing I've learned in 85 years, it's that what we want doesn't always matter. But then again, sometimes it's all that does." - Mick St. John
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