Without a Trace

I have worked on a little story, and hope you guys like it. I haven't written the 2nd chapter yet, because I wanted to see what you thought of it first. If you like it, I will write a second chapter.

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Without a Trace

Chapter 1

Link looked through the window from the couch, and he saw a green silhouette behind the curtains. He heard a loud series of knocks on the door, and couldn't decide on whether he should open the door or not.
"What if it's bad news? Again?" he thought to himself. There had been enough bad news lately; especially the news of Zelda's passing. It knocked on the door once again, followed by a heart-aching shriek. He quickly got up from the couch, put the book he was reading down, and ran against the door. He pulled it open, and saw a shadow jump around Kokiri Forest. The shrieks continued as the shadow was heading for the entrance to the Lost Woods.

Link was speechless. Suddenly, he heard someone climb up his ladder. He instinctively and quickly drew his sword, and waited. Mido popped up, and Link sighed out of relief.
"Did you just see that?" Mido said. Link nodded.
"Well, are you going to do something about it?"
Link looked down at the floor.
"Well... You see... I'm..." Link said hesitatingly.
"Are you aware that the person shrieking was Princess Zelda?" Mido said.
Links eyes lit up like two shining stars.
"But..." he uttered, "I thought..."

"Here, take this. And this," Link said while giving Mido an old corroded sword and a Deku Shield.
"What makes you think I'm coming with you?" Mido said.
"This," Link said, while running his fingers down along the tip of his newly-sharpened Master Sword.
"OK, that's a perfectly good reason," Mido said, almost wetting himself out of fear, "but there's one thing remaining. I don't have a fancy name like you."
"What to you mean?" Link replied dumfounded.
"Well, you see, you're like, the Hero of Time and everything, and I'm just... Well... I'm just Mido, the short-tempered kiddo."
"Hmm..." Link said while looking out in the blue, "How about 'Hero of Wimps?'"
"NO! I will be the ‘Legendary Deku Slayer!'"
"Alright, whatever suits you." Link replied sarcastically while shaking his head unnoticeable.

They went out of Link's tree hut, climbed down the ladder, and walked over to the Kokiri Bar.
"I didn't know we had a bar," Mido said.
"That's because you're a child. And I'm not." Link replied while grinning.
There was a sign on the door: 'ADULTS ONLY.' Link ordered Mido to wait outside, while he got inside to cross-examine the bartender.
"Hi there fella'. Did ‘ya have any suspicious customers here today?" Link said.
"Who's asking?" the bartender asked. Link quickly drew his sword and held it to his throat.
"This is!" Link said while smiling.
"OK, OK! Calm down! T'hell's the matter with you?" the bartender said nervously.
"Well, you see, Zelda isn't dead. She was just at my house, but someone kidnapped her before I opened the door. SO ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!"
"OK! There was a guy clothed in black here some time ago, about 30 minutes. He ordered a beer." The bartender said trembling.
"Thanks."

Link stepped out of the bar. Mido saw intriguing at him, and said "Why did you keep the great Legendary Deku Killer wait so long?"
"Quiet, you." Link said with an evil grin on his face.

Suddenly, Link's tunic shook. Navi the Fairy popped out.
"Yo, what's going on?" she said while shaking the sleep out of her eyes."
"Well, Zelda's not dead!" Link said while smiling at her.
"Wow!! Great!! Where is she?"
"You see, that's the problem. She just got kidnapped."
"Then let's rescue her!" Navi said eagerly.
"The kidnapper went into the Lost Woods. We got to have someone guiding us, or we'll get lost."
"Eureka!" Navi uttered, "I know someone who can! The Deku kid! We can find him if we go directly to the left when we enter the Lost Woods!"
"Then let's go!" Link said eagerly, not aware of the dangers that lie ahead...

End of Chapter 1

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Well. Hope all you ladies & gentlemen out there liked it. Would appreciate some comments!

Anyone? Likey? No?

Actually that wasn't half bad, a bit scattered but the humor is there. I'm hoping you intended the humor...Anyway, you seem to be missing a solid portion of a back story - not a lot of explanation of why Link is moping about - he just is. I'm not going to ask why Navi is there either...Overall just too many questions, not enough vague answers

Mido - heh - I liked this part the best:

Link stepped out of the bar. Mido saw intriguing at him, and said "Why did you keep the great Legendary Deku Killer wait so long?"
"Quiet, you." Link said with an evil grin on his face.

Was the evil grin intended for Mido...was hard to tell - you might want to make sure your reader sees this sort of thing... plus what does this mean? Mido saw intriguing at him, and said

Definitely write chapter two - I'd like to see what's in store.

Originally Posted by achitka

Was the evil grin intended for Mido...was hard to tell - you might want to make sure your reader sees this sort of thing...

Thanks!! Yeah, hehe, the evil grin was intended for Mido. And yeah! I'll write chapter 2! Thank you very much!

ps.: yeah the humour was intended.

LOL!!
Thats a great Chapter..
Whens the next?
hopefully soon. Its F'en funny already!

Originally Posted by Solid Snake

LOL!!
Thats a great Chapter..
Whens the next?
hopefully soon. Its F'en funny already!

Thx. I'll post it as soon I can't shove it in my schedule..