(Fan)Estremlen[G]

Ok...here's an original fanfic I just started recently. I'm having a bit of trouble with it, so I decided to show chapter one to get some feedback. Also, I might change the title, it's just temporary.

The first chapter is basically just introducing some of the characters and the setting and stuff.

Estremlen

Chapter 1

"Stremmy! Mac! It's time for dinner!"

My mother's voice carried across the garden to where my six-year-old sister, Estremlen, and I were kicking a Pachi nut around. We stopped and turned toward our family's two-story treehouse, and I quickly caught the nut under my left foot before it rolled into the river. Mom was standing on the balcony, wiping her hands on her lacy, light blue apron, her brown curls hanging down in front of her face as it usually was.

"Coming, ma!" my sister called, skipping through the tall grass of our lawn, bunching up her long white tunic out of the way of her feet, her long, wavy golden hair fluttering behind her. I picked up the large nut and started following her.

We lived in the Kauri forest, near the Great Crater. The trees in these woods grew abnormally large, and the children often used the big, round seeds they produced as soccer balls. I was sixteen, but I still enjoyed a good round with my younger sister now and then.

I brushed back the light brown hair from in front of my eyes and tightened the orange sash around my baggy blue pants, letting my loose white shirt hang over it, and tucked the Pachi nut under my arm as I hurried across the stepping stones toward our front steps.

"Tamakir Michan, do I have to keep telling you? Tuck that shirt in, you look like some poor kid!" My mom put her hands on her hips, tilting her head to one side, like she always did, every time she saw me with my shirt untucked (which was just about always).

"It's more comfortable this way," I argued, even though that never made a difference to her. She was always concerned about how her children looked - if they weren't up to her standards, something had to be done. They were one of the richer - or as she put it, more respectable - citizens of Kauri village, being the mayor's family, and they had to look the part.

But, I tucked the shirt in anyway, since I knew ahead of time what her answer would be, and I didn't feel like wasting my time. Mom smiled at me and I ducked through the doorway into the heart of our tree. Strem - this was our nickname for Estremlen, and mine was Mac - was already seated at the table with our dad, the mayor of Kauri village.

Mom followed behind me, leaving the door open for fresh air, and I went up the solid wooden stairway into my room to put the Pachi nut away. Everything was wood, wood, wood. The only thing I saw in this house was brown. It sickened me. But, my parents were calling me down, so I jumped down the stairs, washed my hands in our small, indoor water pump, and came to sit at the table.

"Today me and Mac went to" - my little sister began, but I quickly quieted her with a threatening look - "...uh...the lake." She quickly shoved a piece of pork roast into her mouth. Of course, I knew what she had been about to say. She had made friends with a girl from the poorer side of town...not that I cared, but I knew Mom would have a fit. My parents glanced at each other, and I decided to change the subject before Mom said anything.

"Hey, can Kalten sleep over Friday night?" I spat out before they had a chance to say anything. It was the only thing I could think of at the moment. Kalten was my best friend, from one of the more wealthy families, or in other words, my parents approved of our friendship.

"Well...sure, I don't see why not," my dad said, stroking his thick, dark brown moustache. "That's tomorrow, right? Boy, the week sure has gone by fast. I'll be gone on Saturday morning, the city council is having a meeting regarding the Listhers."

Mom wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Oh, I wish somebody would do something about those things. Just thinking about them makes me just want to..." She clenched her napkin in her right hand for a few seconds and then released it, sighing.

The Listhers were a strange race that hid in the mountain forest to the west. They were sort of a mix between human and lizard, or so my parents said. I'd never seen one before. There was a war between the Listhers and Kaurians, a long time ago, over this forest. Of course, the Kaurians had won.

But, people said they never really left for good. A few robberies, and people started claiming it was the Listhers. I wasn't sure I believed them, since there weren't even any witnesses or evidence. But still, the Kaurians remained suspicious, and I guess that's what the meeting was for.

"Daddy, can we come too?" Strem pleaded. Dad's meetings were held in the city of Norathin, which, strangely enough, was suspended above the Great Crater somehow. See, our planet had an enormous crater in the side, so if you looked at it, it looked like some giant took a bite out of it.

The Great Crater was incredible. It was the only place where you could look down and see the sky. The cliff went down indefinitely, so far that eventually you'd get pulled toward the wall and start walking on it, and even farther you'd start sliding backwards, and if you were a good climber, you could reach the other side of the planet.

There were several chunks of rock floating around that mysteriously defied gravity, and the city of Norathin was built on such a rock. Connected to the mainland by bridges, it floated a mile or so from the edge. Stremmy loved visiting it. If the incredible view wasn't enough, there were a ton of shops selling different items from around the world.

"I'll let your mother decide that. I won't be able to watch you, and I doubt you could handle waiting for the meeting to end."

"Mommy!" Strem's head jerked to look at Mom.

"Actually, I was thinking of going, as well. We could use some more eggs," Mom replied, finishing up a piece of pork.

"May I be excused?" I asked automatically when I suddenly noticed that my plate - wooden, of course - was now empty, even though I didn't remember having eaten very much. I guess I was paying more attention to the conversation than usual.

<(<[===O===]>)>

"Hey Kal!" I yelled across the river, seeing my friend sitting in a tree on the other side. He looked up from his paper and smiled, hopping down from the low branch. "What were you drawing just then?"

"The river looked really cool, with the sun rays coming through the trees and all," he said, resting his elbow on the wooden fence on the other side of the water. I looked in the direction he had been looking - north, toward the Great Crater. He was right. Orange rays of light were shining through the trees, and the water was spectacular. Specks of light shimmered here and there, dancing along the stream toward the ocean.

"Pretty nice," I said, leaning on the fence on our side of the stream. "Is tomorrow night free for you?"

"Actually, that's our little 'family night' thing. Have you forgotten about that already?" His thin, black eyebrows and small mouth went cockeyed. I laughed. He always looked so funny with that expression...

"Sorry. Guess I did. Well, maybe you could sleep over Saturday? We're going to Norathin in the morning, you could come along."

Kalten looked up for a few seconds, thought to himself while mouthing something, and then looked back toward me. "Yeah, sounds good. It okay with your folks?"

"Well, they said you could sleep over tomorrow, but I'm sure Saturday is fine with them. I'll let you finish that picture before the sun goes down. Remember to ask your parents," I reminded him, waving as I turned to head back into the house.

"Right. See you then," he called after me.

Awesome! This is great! Keep up the good work!

Also, are there any other species on that planet? What does Kalten look like?

Thanks! Yes, there is going to be another species in the story. I have yet to design them, but I know where they'll live.

Hmm...good point about Kalten, I didn't describe him much. I'll make sure to edit in more description later, when I get around to it.