The Bachelor (Hyrule version)

Ok, this is my first fanfic so it might not be really good compared to other fanfics. This fanfic is like the show called "the bachelor" but in Hyrule version (as the title says) It would help to keep reading the story & not hate me for my writing. Ok, here it goes.

Scene:In the main castle.

The host: Hi, & welcome to The Bachelor. I'm your host & this castle will be the place where Hyrule's most eligible bachelor will choose the gal of his dream or nightmare. Five girls will each date the bachelor & then he eliminates a girl until one remains. So let's meet the bachelor & the bachelorettes.

Link-The bachelor of this show & the hero of time, termina & whatever else. He's pretty well known.

And the bachelorettes are...
Malon-A decent ranch girl from Lon Lon Ranch who enjoys horseback riding, milking cows, & sleeping in stables.

Link:*thinks* Now that's what smells like cow droppings.*plugs nose*

Nabooru-The boss of the gerudos from the Gerudo desert. She enjoys stealing & gets stuck in quick sand often.

Link:Oh no, a theif chick. *hides stuff*

Zelda-The princess of Hyrule. She enjoys being pampered & dressing up as a shiekah or a pirate.

Link:Cool, I get to date a rich girl.

Zelda:Wait, I don't have money. I just make my maid to get me things.

Link:Crap.

Ruto-The princess of the Zoras. She enjoys chasing after Link & being eaten by giant fish (like in Ocarina of Time)

Ruto: Hi Linkey!!!! *waves & giggles*

Link:Oh no....I guess it's time to get the sword *gets sword & other weapons*

Navi-Link's brain in battle. Enjoys saying annoying phrases & never shuting up*

Link:Link's Brain? Hey, I have a brain!!!!

Host:Yeah, we're all sure you do

Link:That's it. You're getting you're a** kicked, Link style!!

Host: Oh, you're gonna kick my a** retard style?

Link:Grrrrrr !!!!! *attacks the host while the girls watch & eat popcorn*
*** PLEASE STAND BY***
New host:Hi, I'm the new host since the other one was attcked. So lets's get on with the show. The first date will be: Link & Malon at the Milk Bar.

That's all I'm going to write until tommarow or something. Please post your opinions.

i thought it was cute.. and a very original idea to do a fanfic on... nice job and keep it up.....

Thank you for the comment. I just thought I should write a fanfic about Link's love problem.hehe.

Nice. Sucks for the announcer. I'll wait for more! *waits*

Yay I got an audience of 2 whole people. You 2 people wanted more, so here it is.

Link & Malon's Date.

Link:*sits on a chair & Malon sits next to him* Two milks on rocks please.

Malon:*drinks milk* hmmm, this milk tastes....funny. What did they put in it?

Link: *drinks milk* Hmm....mine tastes normal. Maybe they put beer in or something.

Bartender:It doesn't have beer in it.

Malon: Maybe it's just me or.....*foams at the mouth,& bears teeth*

Bartender:Oh no, someone must of put a potion that makes people go rabid in her milk. *screams like a girl & hides*

Malon: *goes rabid & attacks people in the streets (she ran out of the milk bar)*

Link:Oh no!!! *screams like a girl & runs in circles*
*****Five minutes later****
Link: I know what do to!! *gets bow & arrow & hits Malon in the buttocks*

Malon: X_X K.O.ed
Link: Uh....check please
Back at the castle........
Host: Since Malon is K.O.ed, only 4 girls remain. Why did you hit Malon in the buttocks?

Link:I don't know. I was trying to save my butt from being rabid Malon food. But I still want to know who was the crazy, retarded, sick person who spiked up Malon's dairy beverage!!

Ruto: *looks around & puts a bottle behind her back*

Host: Why can't you just say "milk" instead of dairy beverage?

Link: I don't know...*stares at a wall*

Host: Anyway, the next date is with Nabooru at the Hyrule Market Place.

Link: Oh this should be fun. *sarcastic*

I will write more tommarrow, stay tuned for Link & Nabooru's date!!!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! That was great. More. Oh and Ruto is just covering for me. I want Link and Zelda to be together. :cool:

Wow,thats good,I like to read this it's funny,I'll be waiting for more!

Ok, thanks for the comments. I'll write more but.....the ending is not going to be a "fairy tale" ending. That's all I'm going to say.

I like this!

Make Ruto win!
Raises Ruto flag.

I love it! Its so funny! I dont usually read fan-fic either but this one is funny.

Link:That's it. You're getting you're a** kicked, Link style!!

Host: Oh, you're gonna kick my a** retard style?

My favorite part! Cant wait to read more!

Ok, thanks for all your comments. Yay, my audience is growing. I know I keep saying i'll post tommarow when I post the same day.But I just can't stop writing,lol. So I'll move on & write about Link & Nabooru's date. But I must warn,things will be added that aren't in the zelda games.

Link & Nabooru's Date

Link:Let's go to the video game store. I want to get a d.s.

Nabooru: But I want to go to the jewlery store so I can steal I MEAN buy some gold & stuff.

Link: I don't want to, I'm bored & the perfume makes me want to puke.

Nabooru: But I...*twitch*...like..*twitch*..to..*twitch* steal..*twitch*...crap.
*goes on stealing spree*

Link: Hey, stealing is bad...

Cops:Hey, do you know that crazy gerudo?

Link: Nope, never saw her in my whole 17 years (or whatever Link's age is) of living.

Cops: *arrests Nabooru* You're under arrest for stealing 100 & a half things from 2 & a half stores. Also for escaping from rehab.

Link:Wow, you have issues to work out.

Nabooru:You can't take me back to the rehab!!!! I have gerudos to rule & more *twitch*...things *twitch*...to *twitch*......steal!!!!

Cops: Geez, she's crazy. *gives her a shot*

Nabooru: @_@

Link:Uh......*goes to the video game place*

Back at the castle......
Host: ok since Nabooru is in rehab, only 3 girls remain.

Link:Gee, no one told me she escaped from a rehab....
When am I gonna to dump people???!!!?!
Sam:When I say you can.

Link:What the....Who are you???

Sam:I'm the one who's writing this fanfic!!!

Link: Ok, but why won't you let me dump people?

Sam: 'cuz I want the fanfic to be weird. And to make the fanfic weirder, I'm making the ending......different.

Link: Oh, I give up.

Sam: See ya. *dissapears*

Host: OK, anyway. The next date will be with...Ruto.

Link: OH no!!!! *Get weapons*

Ruto: Yay!!!!! *gets lipstick*

Host: the date will be at Green Bay beach

Stay tuned for Link & Ruto's date!!!!!! It will be posted tommarow or something!!!

your stories are excellent... you're doing a great job, they are funny but have an edge to them.... i cant wait for more episodes..... keep it up....

I don't read many fanfics, but I REALLY like this one. ^_^ Keep up the god work!

Ok, thanks for the comments. I'll write some more even though I keep saying "until tommarow". Ok, here I go.
Link & Ruto's Date
Link:*sighs* Why am I dragged into these fanfics?

Ruto:Hey Linkey, do you like my bikini?

Link: But zoras don't wear bikinis.

Ruto: But I will for you, Linkey *giggles*

Link: I'll pass on that offer. *backs away* And stop calling me Linkey!

Ruto:Why don't we just go under the palm tree and.....*puts lipstick on*

Link:Yeah right. I hate you remember?

Ruto: So *gets closer*

Link:Stay back, don't make me use this *uses mirror sheild & the light reflects off the shield & melts Ruto*

Ruto: No!!!!!!!! I'm melting....melting..*melts*

Link:Uh....I didn't do it. *devil horn*

Stay tuned for the rest of the story!!!!

very good, quite funny to read, especially the issues part and the retard style bit, very funny. good work my little child

*laughs hystericaly* wow...heh heh.. thats really good. keep up the good work

Looks at Ruto slushpile.

Snaps Ruto flag in half.

The other pony is in rehab! Who can FW root for?

Ah, yes. Draws Saria's face on a bit of cloth.

"Saria, Saria, she's our man, if she can't do it, no-one can!"