Mininey

Mininey is a very sad girl, she was abandon by age 3. When she was 5 she had found a friend named Minigh. Minigh is a girl that is part Wolfose and part human. Mininey was very diffrent she was a shape-shifter. they beacame very good friends. Minigh let her live in her home. A few years later on they found that they were very very diffrent yet very much the same if that makes sence. They also had many fights but got over it. They stayed best friends for a long time. One day as they were messin around they came across a boy who they started fighting over. Miniey ran away when she found out Minigh was whith him. she was gone for 12 years and came across her best friend Minigh. Mininey was 19 and had a husband. Mininey had gotten a divorce eventually and moved back in whith Minigh. since then they have'nt faught once. Mininey found out the reason she was abandon! Her brother Anlo had died and her parents could'nt stand to see another death so they left her. She was dieing at age 20 due to not eating or at least not being able to! She had a rare dissease that unabled her to eat or drink beacuse she had gotten attacked and damaged saverely. she died the day after her birthday 20 years and 1 day old. Minigh was heart broken and barried her in her own back yard.


R.I.P. Mininey
you may post whatever you want but no cussing

Err... okay... Was that a chapter? A prologue? A whole story?

There were a lot of problems with this story--- a lot a lot.

First of all, what ever happened to paragraphs? Dialogue? Description? Deep characters?

There were a whole lot of grammer errors, as well. For instance, the first sentence,

Mininey is a gothic girl Mininey was abandon by age 3.

Should be:

Mininey was a gothic girl. She was abandoned at the age of three.

Sentences should always begin with a capitol letter and end with a period.

There was no dialogue. No one said anything. We know nothing more about Minigh and Mininey's relationship except that they were friends. We don't even know when this story takes place, or where, or what the characters look like.

This needs work, but I'm sure your writing will improve with effort. Nice try, keep writing!

nice story but my character Minigh is suposed to be part dog cause she was injected with wolfose blood when she was just born and after that she grew very sharp canins and claws.

Now I know you are only 11, but I did not like this story. I don't know if it is a weird twist of a fan fic, hence the poe reference, or what. All of your sentences are choppy, and need a lot of work. At least you tried to use decent grammar, and you got my respect for that. You had a few spelling errors, but who doesn't. This is a very short story that lacked a lot. I suggest you pay attention in English class and practice a lot. There is many ways to say the same thing, and many other variations often sound better than the way you directly say things. Please, I don't mean to offend you by saying I do not like this, it's just, you need some time to grow and learn a lot. I need to grow myself as a writer, and practice makes perfect.

I think if you're going to write all of these short stories, you should make a thread for all of them instead of different ones for different stories. Just a suggestion.

Ok, you may be 11, but the story has many grammar errors. The story was too short and didn't have enough detail. Had you put more effort into the story it would have been decent, but this seems too rushed. Time and work is what makes a good story, remember that.

Felt missing. the story or something I can't explain.

Craptacular. Don't even continue cause it's not worth reading if the spelling is all wrong. If you are only 11, you shouldnt be writing stories...you should be playing outside! It's summer! If someone told me to write story when I was 11, I would of stabbed them with the pencil.

hey dont think to much of it girl next time you want to do up a story you can just ask me and I would be glad to help you with the story line and grammer and make it an awsome story that is more that just a papraghraph

ok first of all just so everyone knows i quite i will not do anymore stories styleist vibe your comment was extremly rude BooBoo im glad you would like to help but if i make a story its not going to be posted here ive tried many times to make a story that was good by an 11 year old but apparently you guys just turn it into crud and i dont think thats very kind i do pay attention in English evry time i even make 100 in english ill just stop making stories for everones pleasure and no one can stop me i mean it this was the last straw i kept changing it over and over again but you brats no offence BooBoo keep say its not worth my time or yours just like what stylesyt vibe said so just wright whatever you want I wont be in here to listen to them the rest of you thank you for your encourgement i hope that you dont hurt others feelings!
Uki

hey dude ignore what everyone else says I think that your story was good and if you would just ask me I could make it into an awsome story with no or very few typos. and just to tell you people I think when she wrote this story I think she meant for it to be a short story not one that is suposed to be real long and I am really upset with you who have fun making an elevan yr old upset to those who know how old she is you should at least give her some cretet for trying to write a story for people that she has no clue who the heck they are because I don't think that I would ever be able to do that and to those who did give her some typing advise was great like the advise that Lakale gave her was exelant and Im shure that you guys had spelling problems whith the computer at one timeso some of you need to really eas up a little on her and Im not just saying this because Im her sis because I do agree that some of her work does need some improvements... ok a lot of improvements but that will all come in about a year of keyboarding and a little bit more classes of LA and of coarse with my help

I will still be making stories if you promise not to be really rude I try my hardest on wrigting stories and I hope that you guys will at least give me a little creidt for wanting to put my stories on line so that not just my sisters can read them

and major thanks to Booboo for stiking up for me and helping me out with my stories

Originally Posted by Nox

Ok, you may be 11, but the story has many grammar errors. The story was too short and didn't have enough detail. Had you put more effort into the story it would have been decent, but this seems too rushed. Time and work is what makes a good story, remember that.

I would have to agree. Potential. But stories take a lot of time.

As a note, I'm not bashing you, it's constructive criticism.

Glad you came back. That took strength.

I hate reading, but it helps. Read some books an adopt a style. Then you can learn from mistakes. Calling someone a brat for your mistakes is just as shallow as those who dissed you.

[stifles laughter] Look who's talking.

Anway, ZS, I don't suggest adopting a style. A good writer will create his/her own style, possibly inspired by other books.

thank you for your posts sorry for being shallow i was realy mad

Haha, I knew you would be back lol. You shouldnt get all butt hurt just because someone gives you some criticism. Yeah everyone was kissing your butt saying it was a good story and since I dont agree, you start crying. I still stick by my story and saying that it sucked. Like I said 11 year olds shouldnt be writing stories.....its summer and you should be playing outside. Crazy kids these days....

And Booboo can't help ya, all his replies are one endless sentence. He's as bad as you are!

Eazy, don't be such a jerk.

ZS, if you like writing, keep writing. I started back when I was 8 or 9. I was pretty good at grammar (not so much at spelling though lol), but my stories are always short and....really bad. But, I kept writing, took a few writing classes (online and off), and I've come a long way. When I was 10, I wrote this terrible story about lego people at christmas. It's really embarassing, especially because I was a character in the story, and a very stupid one at that. Not sure why I did that. Lol.

Anyway. If you want to write stories, write them. Take writing classes. I find it hard to believe you get 100s in english, unless you're one of those people who's all smart offline, and then you just go all blaaah on the computer, as long as people can still understand you. Take the time to correct your stuff, do you have a spellcheck thingy? That helped me a bit, but most of it was the writing classes.

uh huh, okay you don't have to get angry. I shouldn't get kicked off, because I didnt make fun of you or curse or anything. I just said I didnt like your story and since so many people are obviously love kissing bottom even when a writing clearly sucks, I was a little harder. So what?