My interviews with the Zelda Characters

Ever wondered what was in the minds of your fav. Zelda characters? Well, lets check it out.

Chapter One: Malon

(Arriving in Lon Lon Ranch in a yellow tunic armed with only a sword and a recorder, does not really fit in with the idea of a hero, but i have not come to be a hero. That's Link's job. I just came here to interview the people he meets. As i walk along, i see Ingo standing at the archway thingy between the two biuldings)

Ingo: Hello. My name is Ingo, how are you?

Me: Where's Malon? I gotta interview her.

Ingo: At the corral. Come.

(I follow Ingo and i notice that Epona shifted suspiciously when she looked at Ingo. I couldn't figure it out, but before i could reach a conclusion, Ingo directed my attention to Malon)

Ingo: Malon, this is...

Me: Link the Zora.

Malon: "Link the Zora"?

Me: Oh yeah...Um...There are people who are so happy for Link that they named themselves after him.

Malon: ...Strange.

Me: Yeah.

Malon: What can i do for you?

Me: Well, I've come to interview you.

Malon: Okay.

Me: Um...Do you want to do it out here or indoors?

Malon: Out here. I just noticed Epona moving as if she is afraid...(Walks to Epona) It's okay, girl. It's okay...(to me) What is it you want to ask me?

Me: Um...(flips through lists of questions) Oh yes, first one...Did Link ever beaten the crap out of Ingo before?

Malon: E-excuse me??

Me: Um...Okay, there are fan fictions out there about you and Link together, and they'd sometimes have this scene where Ingo is mistreating you and then Link goes nuts and starts beating the crap out of him.

Malon: (calms down) Uh...No. I don't recall Link ever beating the crap out of Ingo. Why would Link do such a thing? Ingo's not a bad man at all.

(Malon and i then walk away from Epona as she explains all about Ingo)

Malon: He wasn't a bad guy at all. I think he was just simply jelous because he was not...

Link: You're gonna pay for this one, Ingo!

(Malon and i turn around to see Link on Epona. Ingo is walking with a rupee bag in his hand)

Link: Remember that 50 Rupee you owe me? You still gotta give it back.

(Ingo is smug as he gets on his own horse)

Link: Fine...I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice....ATTAAAAACK!!!

(Malon and i watch as Link chase Ingo all over the ranch. It's a grueling battle between the two. The tide tips to Link at the end when Link jumps at Ingo and they both crash to the ground.)

Link: WHERE'S MY MONEY!?!?!?!

(Malon rushes to the two men. I just stand there. Epona pokes through my bag and selects my can of peas. She takes it for her own. I do not know this)

(Later, Ingo is in bed, Link, Malon, and i are in the kitchen. I explain everything to Link)

Link: So you are Link the Zora here to interview us?

Me: Yeah.

Malon: Is the interview over?

Me: No. I have just one question left...Do you love Link?

(The room is silent, Link looks at Malon and looks at the wall, he clearly is thinking about Zelda and her. Malon looks at me as if i just asked her if water was wet.)

Malon: Well...Um...I'm not sure....Link and i are friends if that is what you mean to ask...

Link: Hey, is that Epona?

(I look out the window. Epona had just discovered my stash of food and she is clearly eating it)

Me: CRAP! (I barge out of the house, racing after Epona) STOP! YOU ARE EATING MY CHEESE SANDWICH AND BANANNAS AND....(I scream and scream as i race to her)

(Link rushes after me)

(The interview is over)
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Well, how's that? I know it doesn't have a whole lot of humor, but the next chapter will.

Next Interviewee: INGO

In the next chapter, we learn about what made Link so bitter towards Ingo.

NOTE: All this is just for humor. When i said the "actual truth", it was sort of ironic because all this is just all pure fun humor.

OH WOW THAT WAS COOL! Have you ever been to fanfiction.net? You should really try it. It's where you can write fanfictions about things, and it's much easier than putting them in a forum. The best part is the reviews, people send reviews and it makes most people SO happy! If you need to know anymore, you can reach it by my homepage. You should really try it. I write there. It's really cool!

Once again, I LOVED This!

^Thanks.

Well, I'll continue this.

Chapter Two: Ingo

(It is dark. Link had left to hang out in Kakariko Village. Malon had went outside to sing to the moon. I am alone in the kitchen. The only one upstairs is the injured Ingo. Shivering, i decide to walk up the stairs. I open the door and turn on the light.)

Ingo: AACK! Tell me when you are going to turn on the light! I nearly went blind there!

(I recover from my shock. I realize that i have my sword out. Replacing it, i take out my recorder and places in a new tape. I turn it on and walks to Ingo)

Ingo: There's a message in your tunic, kid.

(I look to see that there is a message in my tunic. I take it out and open it up. It's from Link)

TO: Link the Zora. FROM: Link.
Link the Zora:
My revenge against Ingo has not yet been completed. He shall PAY dearly for what he had done to me.

From, Link

(I place the message back into my pocket and i take out a chair and sat myself down beside Ingo)

Ingo: Kid...Is Link always like this?

Me: No. He's a nice man. He strives to assure that peace is in Hyrule and that justice is done to the enemies.

Ingo: Well, apparently i made that mistake years ago. (looks at me) One lesson kid, never tick him off.

Me: (intrested) Why?

Ingo: He'll turn into Hulk.

Me: REALLY!?

Ingo: Just kidding.

Me: >_<; Ooookaaaaay....So WHY did you tick him off?

Ingo: Well...It happened that fateful day 7 years ago...

(SEVEN YEARS AGO)

(Link is biuding a little castle made out of blocks.)

(Ingo "accidently" knocks the blocks down with his foot)

Young Link: HEY!

Past Ingo: Watch where you are going, kid!

Young Link: Grrrrrr.....

(The last that Ingo sees is Link charging at him)

(BACK TO THE PRESENT)

Ingo: I did not know why Link would act like that just because i knocked down some blocks...

Me: Perhaps...Navi was crushed under the blocks?

Ingo: Yeah...I remember a white ball of light flying around my head...

Me: That was Navi. She was royally ticked off at you, I'm sure.

Ingo: But...why?

Me: I guess it was because it took Link a while to biuld the little castle.

Ingo: That could be it.

Me: So um...was that the end?

Ingo: Oh no. See, 7 years later, i meet Link again...

(6 months ago)

(Link walks into Lon Lon Ranch.)

Link: Ingo! Hey Ingo!

(Ingo looks at Link)

(Link looks at Ingo)

Link:

Ingo: What?

Link: Look at you. You look like some pathetic excuse for a ring leader in a circus!

Ingo: :mad:

(Then they have the race and Ingo seals him)

Link: Ingo, do you know who i am?

Ingo: Who?

Link: I am Link.

(Ingo's eyes go wide as he remembers who Link is)

Ingo: AH CRAP!

(Ingo rushes for dear life, but Link grabs him and throws him over the fence. He says in a intimidating tone

Link: Get rid of the stupid gate...Or else you will be terminated...

(Ingo quickly gets rid of the gates)

(BACK TO PRESENT...AGAIN)

Me: I see...

(A door is opening downstairs)

Ingo: Crap! (Starts fidgiting, but is having difficulties because of the bandages)

Me: Be still!

(I take my sword out and i walk cautiously to the door. I hear footsteps)

Ingo: It's Link!

Me: It's probably Malon. She doesn't sing at the moon all night you know.

Ingo: You know nothing! (starts yelling at me) You know nothing....!!!!!

(The doorknob dramatically turns and flings opens. Lightning flashes and a figure stands in the doorway)

Link: (In Arnold Swartzenegger's voice) I'm back.

(Ingo is screaming like an idiot. His eyes are the size of dinner plates and his mustache had strectched to its maximized lentgh.)

Me: No! Link No!

Link: I see that Ingo is screaming like a scared girl out of an anmie show. I wanted that. (Takes snapshots of this) Thank you, my good friend. (leaves)

Me: (Talking into the recorder) Okay...Apparently Link's idea of revenge is scaring the daylights out of Ingo. Looks like he had suceeded....

(Ingo is in bed, not moving)

(I give him a recovery fairy. Ingo wakes up)

Ingo: Where is he?

Me: He's gone now. He was just trying to scare you.

Ingo: Well, he failed. (Gets up and walks around, but Malon comes up to see him) ...crap....

Malon: (angry) YOU BIG FAT FAKER!!!! YOU WERE FAKING OUT THAT YOU WERE INJURED SO AS YOU WOULD NOT DO ANY WORK AT ALL!!!!

(Next morning)

Malon: As punishment, you will scoop! You know how to do it.

(I leave quickly)

Malon: Where is he?

(She picks up a message lying on the ground)

TO: MALON. FROM: LINK THE ZORA

Malon: I gotta interview Link! Cya!

Malon: o_O'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: How was it?

Link: how was it?! HOW WAS IT!? You made me be like some sort of evil guy!

Me: Sorry if i made it too dramatic. I'll change it.

(I do so)

Link: That's better.

Me: Okay, people, in the origonal one...

Link: He made it out to be too cheesy. Like i "dramatically" walked to Ingo and i "dramatically" did this and "dramatically" did that. So he changed it to the better one.

Me: In the next one, i'll interview Link!

that was kind of funny. i see the effort keep going i want to read the next one with link

This is an...interesting idea. Pretty funny so far.

^Okay.

Don't worry. I'm going to interview Link. I'm still trying to gather up questions and making the next chappy funny.

looking good keep up the good work and its pretty funny how link would beat up ingo for his ruppees when i read that i was thinking hey ingo never gave link his 50 ruppees but then i remeber he won epona instead.

Okay. One question. You know how in WW, there's this girl who falls in love with a moblin and her father is so obsessed to skull necklaces that he takes all of your hard earn ones? What is the girl's name? Maggie or Milia?

Anyway, here's the interview with Link.

Chapter Three: Link!

(I walk into Kakariko Village. As i scan the area, i see no sign of the Hero of Time.)

Me: Blast it...Where the heck is he?

(Not giving up, i start to explore the village. I enter houses and ask people where Link is. The answers: "I dunno." or "Who's Link?")

Me: (To the Cucco Lady) Do you know where Link is?

The Cucco Lady: Well, he talked to me yesterday. Tall man with blue eyes and green clothes and a green hat?

Me: Yes. That guy. Have you seen him?

The Cucco Lady: Well, i heard he was headed off to some forest he called: "Ko-ki-re" forest?

Me: The Kokiri Forest? Thanks.

The Cucco Lady: Who are you?

Me: I'm an interviewer named Link the Zora.

The Cucco Lady: Oh? Are you going to interview me sometime?

Me: Maybe...In fact....Yes. I will.

(I nod and leave. So the guy was in Kokiri Forest after all. Why didn't i think of that? So once i get into Kokiri Forest, i notice that the Kokiris are chatting with Link. Navi is with him)

(Mido notices me and runs to me)

Mido: Hey, who are you? The Great Deku Tree said that people who do not have faries die in these woods.

Me: Oh...

Mido: But this fairy will protect you. His name is Enty.

Me: o_O;

(So Enty joins me for this interview)

Me: Hey, uh, Link!

(Link notices me)

Link: I'm coming!

(He walks to me)

Link: What can i do for you, Link the Zora?

Me: Well, I have to interview you.

Link: Okay. Where do you want to interview me? In my house?

Me: Well...

Kokiri Girl: You can do it in my house.

(We accept this and we enter her house.)

Me: So, Link...(Turns on tape recorder) I have some questions for you.

Link: Yes?

Me: Okay. First question....How did you like the new Zelda '05 Trailer?

Link: Great. I can't wait for the game to come out. Nintendo is doing an excellent...wait, what trailer?

Me: Uh...

Link: No, ask some real questions. We don't have computers here.

Me: Okay. So um...(reads) How do you like the owl?

Link: Annoying. Extremley annoying. He states the overly obvious, he thinks he's so smart that he will treat others as if they have no brains at all!

(The owl appears)

The Owl: Hello, Link...Who is this boy?

Link: He's my interviewer.

The Owl: The Interviwer? Why, I know what an Interviewer is...It's a person who asks a number of questions to another person and that said person has to answer with a response of some kind. There are certian rules and guidelines...

Link: Um...I know how to do an interview....I've seen it done before.

The Owl: (To me) I see you are the intervieee..

Link: No, I'M the Intervieee, Link the Zora is here to interview ME!

(The owl looks at me)

The Owl: An interview is more diffrent than an interrogation.

Me: Um...Yes, i know that.

The Owl: Why, i remember that the last time i was interviewed, it was about 2523 years ago...

Me: Okaaaaaaaay...Thanks for the info, now let me interview...

The Owl: Why, that day thousands of years ago, a fellow man came to my door...

Link: Lets get the heck out of here.

(We run out of the house. The Owl barges out of the house himself)

The Owl: And after we had a nice chat over cups of tea...

Kokiri Girl: Hey! You owe me 2345 rupees for any damage you did to my house!

(The owl had smashed everything in her house)

Link: Um...How did the owl get into the house?

Owl: ...crap...

Kokiri Girl: Well?

Owl: (Vanish)

Kokiri Girl: HEY!

Link: (Runs inside to see that everything is back to where they are) How does he do it?

Kokiri Girl: He's an ancient sage...

Link: I see..(He looks at me) So uh...You want to continue the interview?

Me: Well...um...We'll do part two of this interview later, okay?

Link: Okay. See you later.

(I run out of the forest. The fairy that Mido assigned to me remains. He turns to face Mido)

Enty: Hey, Mido...I have a question...How fast can you run?

Mido: Pretty fast...why?

(Enty is picking up a Deku Stick)

Mido: Crap...

(He starts running away. Enty flies after him, weilding the Deku Stick)

Enty: GET BACK HERE!!!!!

(He chases Mido all over the forest)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------The Next Interviewee is....DARUNDIA!

that was preety good. i liked how you brought that stuiped owl back i cant wait till the next interview. i hope you add something about the big goron hug i laugh every time i think of that

Here's the interview!

Chapter Four: Darundia

(I walk into the Goron place in Death Mountian. All the Gorons welcomes me)

Goron #1: What's your name?

Me: Link the Zora.

Goron #1: Link the Zora? Hmmm...Sounds pretty strange. Well, Link the Zora, what can i do for you?

Me: I'm here to interview your leader.

Goron #1: Yes. Follow me.

(I follow the Goron to Darundia's door)

Goron: (pounds on door) KNOCK KNOCK!

Me: o_O;

(From within, the voice of the mighty Goron leader thunders)

Darundia: Gaaaah! Alex! Will you PLEASE knock a bit less loud next time??

(The door opens, i pass the goron and walks into Darundia's chamber. Darundia is seated beside a table, a pile of cards lay in a pile)

Darundia: Look! I try to make a castle out of cards, and that Goron had to do it...(looks at me) Who are you?

Me: Link the Zora.

Darundia: Link the Zora, eh? Are you a Zora?

Me: No. I'm a Hylian.

Darundia: I see...Well, how's Big Brother?

Me: Link? Oh, he's doing okay. I'm here to interview you.

Darundia: Okay.

Me: First question...How is it like, being the Sage of Fire?

Darundia: I like it. The only bad part is that i have to hear Ruto's whining about how she does not get to be with "linkie-poo" or whatever she calls him.

Me: Yeah, she's bad, right?

Darundia: Well, if you consider the alternative, it was either Ruto, or some other annoying Zora.

Me: You don't like Zoras, do you?

Darundia: I don't mind them! I mean, Ruto's the freaking princess of the entire Zora race and she's whining about not being able to marry a Hylian. If it were my son, I'd have him sit down and we'd have a serious discussion about this.

Me: Yeah...So, do you like being the leader?

Darundia: Belieave it or not, but it's not all about "You! Fetch me a Gamecube with the Zelda '05 game!" or "You! Fetch me the Goron Weekly Paper!". It's tough at times. I have to make sure our crops are growing so as we do not die of starvation. I have to make sure security is in check so as in case a Dodongo comes into the cavern, we'll have some method of self defense. We also have to...

Goron: DARUNDIA! DARUNDIA!! (Runs into his chamber) DARUNDIA! I bring some bad news!

Darundia: What is it?!

Goron: TWO FREAKING DODONGOS ARE ATTACKING US!

(The three of us race out to see two Dodongos. NOT King Dodongos nor baby Dodongos, but the normal size Dodongos. The ones you see prancing around in the north side of Termina in MM)

Goron: What do we do, sir??

(Before Darundia can think, i take a bag that i have on my belt and remove it. I know that the recorder is on and that it's around my neck. Removing the recorder, i place it into Darundia's hands. I place the bag down and reach towards my back, i pull out my sword)

Me: Bring it on...Dodongos...

(The two dodongos notices me and breathes fire on me. The sword absorbs the fires and i shoot it back at one of them like a beam attack)

Darundia: o_O;

Goron: o_O;

Dodongo: Rawr!

(I race to the two Dodongos. Jumping upwards, i land on one of the dodongo's backs. Grabbing it's neck, i treat it like a lizardy version of Epona. I guide it towards the other Dodongo and force it to march directly twoards it)

Darundia: Man...He got guts...Link never acted like this...

(The Dodongos are now in a big brawl. I am slashing like heck at them. One of them lunges at me. I stab it in the heart.)

Gorons: Fellow Gorons! Take your spears! ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!!

(I look up to see Gorons plunging down like an avalanche twoards me. I withdraw. One of them gives spears to Darundia and that Goron.)

Me: Okay, no one inturppts my interview and lives!

(We all attack. The bleeding Dodongo and the other Dodongo charges after us. We are screaming like heck. Link appears in the scene. Apparently he heard the commotion and wanted to check it out. He sees this battle and grabs the Master Sword. He charges down into the fight as well)

CRASH!

(It's a big gruesome fight. Lets just say that we beat the crap out of the Dodongos and in the end, mistook Link for a Dodongo and not until he was pinned to the wall did we realize it and releases him)

(AFTER THE BATTLE)

Darundia: Well, Link the Zora. I hereby dub you as secondary brother to the Gorons.

Gorons: (cheers)

Link: Good job. I guess we two owe our alleigence to the Gorons.

Darundia: Well, lets welcome our new brother...

Me: Okay.

Goron: Hows about a big goron hug?

Me: (Grabs my recorder and runs for it, but a goron is in my way and i back up to Link)

Link: (Plays the Ocarina)

(I hold on to him as we vanish)

Goron: He forgot something! (Picks up my bag) It's his rupee bag!

Darundia: We'll keep it until he returns to get it back.

(He places it in his room)
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How is it? I added in the battle with the Dodongos so as the gorons could have a reason to do the Goron Hug.

I like it. Funny and original. Please continue on with it!

whoa, these are cool, LtZ. say, are we allowed to request any specific ones to be done, or are you just going to do them in any order? anyhoo keep it up.

about your question about the girl in love with the moblin in tWW, her name is Maggie.

Sure! Just make sure you do it one at a time, please.

I have no idea who to interivew next, so i'll appriciate your suggestions.

Thanks.

How about you interview Ruto? You could add Link and that would make it pretty funny.

Woah! I'm just waiting for an interview with Ganondorf! Will that come??

Argh...I just typed out a whole interview with Ruto...but it got erased....CURSE YOU...COMPUTER!! CURSE YOU....ZELDA! CURSE YOU....wait, i sounded like Ganondorf, didn't i?

Well, Mrs. Ganondorf, I'm thinking of interviewing Ganondorf soon. How should i have it done? Should he meantion you? Do you want to appear in this interview? If so, what do you want to do in it?

Oooh oooh I want to be in an interview!!! I want to be an oblivious zora who knows nothing about his location and rambles on and on about useless stories and blah blah blah blah *voice slowly fades away* blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblah

I decided to revive this, but i don't know if it's okay to revive a story that had been long dead. Anyhow...
*Revives thread in a most dramatic way*

Okay...um....The Neglected, you got it! ^_^ (You're the Rambling Zora. If that's not how you picture that Zora, then i'll change it.)

NOTE: This may sound like i am making fun of ZU's "No Reviving Dead Threads" rule, but in reality, i'm just making fun of my own thread, seeing as i revived a thread that was already dead.

Chappy 5: Ruto

(6 months....It had been 6 months since i had visited the beautiful land of Hyrule. Link apparently wanted me to restart my interveiwing career, so he started an epic quest to get to where i was, which was roaming around in a distant land. When he convinced me to return to Hyrule, i mounted Epona and we rode to Hyrule. When we got back to Hyrule, I sniffed the cool breeze.)

Me: Aahhh...It's good to be back...

Link: Yep...What were you doing for 6 months?

Me: Interviewing the cast of FFX in Spira. I was gonna get to Seymour, but that's where you showed up.

(Link nods even though he has no clue what "Spira" was or what "FFX" was or even who this Seymour guy was.)

Link: Well, I thought you wanted to interview the rest of the people here.

(I pull up my schedule)

Me: Yes...I was supposed to have interviewed Ruto.

Link: Well? Shall we get started?

(As Link and i make our way to Zora's domain, a zora was there, he looked at us and gasped as if we were evil men taking over their home.)

Zora: You! (Pulls up a sign and slams it into the ground)



(I read the message)

Me: Okay, a few flaws. Mace Windu is from STAR WARS! This is ZELDA! Secondly, it had been SIX months, not FIVE! (I knock the sign down and continue into the domain.)

Zora: Halt!



(I grit my teeth in frustration and i grab the sign and casts Fire on it)

Link: Where did you learn that!?

Me: Spend 6 months in Spira, you're bound to learn FF spells...

(We walk until we get to the King's chamber where Ruto is said to be located.)

Zora: STOP AT ONCE! (Slams the third sign)



(I am furious, but before i could do anything, another Zora comes up)

Zora 2: (Is acting like he's in some sort of bar) And then when my shipmates and i were traveling, a giant rock like monster attacks and then when it does, my mates starts up a harpoon and then fires, but it doesn't work!

Ruto: Uh...

Zora 2: Oh, did i tell you about the lady that works in the inn? Yeah, like she's got this guy, right? She's going to marry him, but he up and vanishes!

Ruto: That's nice...but what does that have to do with the lagoon monster and the rock monster story? In fact, do you even know where you are?

(The rambling Zora then positions himself like he's leaning against the bar with a bottle of Lon Lon Milk in his hand)

Zora 2: Oh, of course they all make sense, Gabby?

Ruto: I'm not Gabby!

Zora 2: Heh....Of course you are! Oh, and did you hear about the bird that steals people's items, but then a guy gets ticked off and starts to beat him up? Yeah, it was like this: The guy was just meandering along the road, minding his own buisness when the bird...

(The rambling Zora keeps going, but Ruto shakes her head and looks at Link)

Ruto: Linkie-Poo! (Rushes to hug him) We'll get married tomorrow and we'll have children!

Link: o_O;

Me: Uh...Ruto?

(Ruto looks at me)

Ruto: LtZ! Where have you been all these months?! 6 months ago, King Zora had arranged for you to invterview me, but you never showed up! Linkie-Poo here told me you just up and went missing after your battle with the dodug...

Link: Dodongos. (To me) Well, do your thing!

(I nod and take my recorder out)

Me: Okay...(I then hear another story from the Rambling Zora)

Rambling Zora: Then my ship crashed into Lagoon man and then Mr. Fantastic from Fantastic 4 comes up and uses his stretching abilities to pull my ship away from the obviously ticked off lagoon guy. We then are captured...

Me: Hey...Ruto, lets go somewhere else, because this guy may ruin this interview.

(Ruto nods and we go to where Jabu-Jabu lives. Ruto sits on a stone and i turn the recorder on)

Me: Okay...some questions...What...er....how does Jabu-Jabu live off of one tiny fish a day?

Ruto: Well...He has his ways, but if you want to talk realistic, it could be that we give him MUCH more than that.

Me: Okay...um...how did cows end up in Jabu-Jabu?

Ruto: I don't follow....

Me: Okay, in Zelda: OoT Master Quest, there are cows in...

Ruto: OH! So that explains Malon and Talon filing a complaint against my dad...

(FLASHBACK)

Malon: (Angry and talking to King Zora) Some of my cows went to your domain and they didn't come back out! Explain that to me! Why do i not see them here?!

Talon: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

King Zora: I assure you, Malon, we do not eat cows!

Malon: Then why did they not come back?

King Zora: I will now reveal an entrance...(Starts to slide to the right, Malon's left, but he takes tooooo long)

(Malon is snoozing then she wakes)

Malon: About time! (Rushes to the whale) Wha....

(END FLASHBACK)

Ruto: My dad had to compensate (Sp?) for the loss of the cows.

Me: So...She didn't check inside the whale, because they are alive still...

Ruto: That's what i said, but Malon didn't want to be eaten by a whale...she doesn't know what he looks like on the inside. It looks like a doungen in there....because it IS a dounge in the whale!

Me: I see...Okay, next question.....

(Link enters the area)

Ruto: Linky-Poo! (Hugs him) Oh, we'll get married and...(Link pushes her off and starts to run to me)

Link: LtZ! I have grave news.

Me: What?

Link: You have to interview the Great King of Evil, Ganondorf! He gave you this letter.

(I read the letter)

Me: Okay, I'll do it.

Link: Good....Good....

Me: That's sarcasam.

Link: Oh no, i'm quite glad that you get to interview the most evil man of Hyrule that would kill you in a second if you ticked him off and he can turn into Ganon and crush you....OF COURSE THAT WAS SARCASM!

Me: Relax, Link! I can handle this. You forget, the sword i have....It's just as powerful as the Master Sword....

(Link looks at my sword)

Link: I see...(Ruto suddenly grabs him and begins to kiss him) ACK! HELP ME!

(I look at the entrance and see the rambling Zora appearing)

Rambling Zora: Then Goku and i rode on the Nimbus Cloud to King Kai's planet and we learned many stuff then we traveled back to Earth and then i got on a pirate's ship and then we battled an octo and when we did that, we went to a lagoon that was said to be haunted and we fought the lagoon monster that i had previously met when Mr. Fantastic from Fantastic 4 used his abilites...

(Ruto had stopped kissing Link and tries to get the Rambling Zora to shut up)

Ruto: Shut up! You make no sense!

Navi: (Gets a bright idea) HEY! HELLO? LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HELLO? LISTEN! HEY! HELLO? LISTEN!

(This drives Ruto berserk and she runs into the water and dives in screaming.)

Link: Thanks.

Navi: No problem.

(We look at the rambling Zora)

Rambling Zora: Then....

Me: You should write a book about your adventures with those people.

Rambling Zora: Will do! (Rushes off to write a book)

Me: Well....(To Link) One more question for you, Link....(Takes recorder) Why do you not like Ruto?

Link: Not like her!? Are you insane!? She's a Zora who thinks marraige to Hylian is possible all because i saved her fishy rear in that whale 7 years ago and NOW she says: "LETS GET MARRIED!!!!!!!" and she's been acting like we'll get married. Do you have any clue at all as to what our baby would look like!? Why does she do that? Why, i ask you!? Why?

(I can see clearly that Link is rambling)

Link: Not like i have a whole lot of trouble in the world, Not like i have to save this entire land and it's inhabites, not like i had to do that, but then Ruto decides to say that she and i are couples because we were.....

Me: Uh...Link?

Link: Why can't she just accept the fact that i am not her type? Why can't she just accept the fact that i cannot marry her because she and i are TWO DIFFRENT SPECIES LIVING IN HYRULE! Why can't she just say that...

(I cast Water on him. Link is soaking wet)

Link: Uh...thanks. I lost control there. So anyway, where to now?

Me: The King of Evil....Ganondorf.
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Here's the new chapter! Sorry if it's not as funny as the last one.

I have some questions about how you would want me to do the next interview:

1. Do you want Link and i to start the battle with Ganondorf or do you want it to NOT be a battle?

2. Do you want Ganondorf in his pure evilness or something completley random?

3. Do you want a chapter where Link or another character interviews me?

4. Mrs. Ganondorf, do you wish to be in the story? What do you want to be doing in the chapter? Do you want it like i interview Ganondorf and Link has to interview you?

5. Anything else you wish for me to know, let me know. Thanks.

I think it would be more funnier if you start is as a battle then just as your about to start you say "exscuse me Ganondorf but can i interview you?" or something like that. And i'd like him to be evil.

^You got it, partner!

Chappy 6: The Dark Lord Ganondorf Part 1

(Link and I readies our swords and shields as we climb the long staircase.)

Me: Well, here goes nothing...

(We open the door and we see Ganondorf playing on the organ and Zelda floating in her crystal prision above it. I reach for my recorder but Ganondorf begins to speak about how he failed to obtain the Triforce all those seven years ago.)

Me: But...

Ganondorf: Who dares to interrupt me? (Looks at me) Who are you?

Me: Link the Zora.

Ganondorf: (Laughs) So...you have brought Link to me....I thank you...

(I get my sword and shield out)

Ganondorf: Those toys are too much for you....I command you to return them to me! (He issues out a spell that prevents us from coming to him. Navi explains that she can't help us so she retreats.

Me: (Sees Ganondorf preparing to attack) Hey, Ganondork!

Ganondorf: You dare to insult the King of Evil!? (Launches the attack towards me.)

(I quickly dodge the attack and sees the blast hit the wall. Looking at Ganondorf, i gulp. I have to interview him but i don't want to fight him!)

Me: Excuse me, i must talk to you!

Ganondorf: The time for talk is over! Hand over the Triforce! (Fires another blast at me)

(I try to dodge, but is struck by the blast. After i writhed on the floor in pain, i get up, panting and furious)

Me: Ganondorf! I request a meeting!

(Ganondorf summons yet another spell at me, but i deflect it in time with my sword)

Me: You will listen to me!

(Link readies his bow and arrow and aims it at Ganondorf)

Ganondorf: Silence! (Deflects the blow again. It's like tennis now. As the little ball bounced faster and faster between Ganondorf and me, i had to be quick or else be hit. Link was waiting for a perfect chance)

Me: (hits the blast back at Ganondorf. The blast hits him and Link shoots a light arrow at him. I immediatly cast Still or whatever the FF spell is that freezes an opponet.) Now...Now that i have your attention...(Walks to him) I want to interview you.

(Ganondorf glares at me. I turn my recorder on)

Me: First question....why did you take over Hyrule?

Ganondorf: ....

Link: What do you think? He wanted to rule Hyrule, he wanted the Triforce!

Me: But for what reason, Link? What reason? Surly it's much more than "I'm mad! Therefore, i shall make everyone else suffer and rule the world because i feel like it!" Everything has a reason, Link, even when you don't think they do...

Link: ....

Me: (I turn back to Ganondorf) Again, why did you want the Triforce?

Ganondorf: To rule Hyrule!

Link: Sorry kid, but your little "Master Yoda"....

Me: "Master Yoda"? What does he have to do with this?

Link: He's basically a maniac hell bent on ruling Hyrule! What more can i say?

Me: Fine...(To Ganondorf) How was life as a child to you?

Ganondorf: (The spell weakens and he stands up straight.) Heh....At a young age i was learning the arts of combat while you both were still in diapers! My mothers, Koume and Kotake, taught me well the arts of sorcery, the others taught me how to fight...(He summons up a spell that suddenly sends Link and me flying into the wall)....and how to kill....

(I struggle to my feet and glares at Ganondorf)

Me: What made you want to rule Hyrule?

Ganondorf: Purely because of the Triforce....When i heard that there was a golden power that granted the user everything....i longed to have it...

Link: So that's why you started to work for the King...

Ganondorf: The King was was a foolish, gullible idiot who could not see the truth when it was in front of his face...If some 10-year-old girl who could barley do Algebra could tell that i was evil, but her father couldn't, i knew just how stupid the king was. It's a wonder Hyrule fell so quickly! Don't you see? Your pathetic King of Hyrule was a coward! He surrendered without a fight! Once i gained the throne of the king...i sought for the Triforce....but i had no idea it would be in the hands of you and Zelda...(To me) But this runt...what's he here for? He can't possibly have the Triforce of Courage...does he?

Link: (Steps in front of me with his sword and shield out) LtZ doesn't have the Triforce of Courage, I do!

Ganondorf: That doesn't matter now...(laughs) I will obtain the Triforce and rule Hyrule...That boy, LtZ however, his fate will be decided later...(He prepares a spell)

Link: Get ready, LtZ!

Me: Right. (Gets prepared to fight)
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In part 2 of the episode, we have the fight against Ganondorf. The interview continues but it's more of an argument than a simple FAQ of a sort. Ganondorf wants to spare Link because he wants the Triforce of Courage, but he'll do whatever it takes to do away with me because i'll be just a hinderance to his plans...

What will happen? Find out...
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