[ZGen] Hero's Debt (T)

This is a story I wrote in my spare time. It is Malink, and is very long for fanfic. It's not even done yet! Please leave comments, with no swearing and constructive encouragement and critisism. It would be rated G, but there are going to be some (mildly) violent elements.


Part 1: The Beginning
Chapter 1


Malon wiped the sweat off her brow, leaning on her broom. It had been a hard day's work, and she was ready to rest. She began to trudge toward her horse, squinting at the sun. Her red hair sparkled, and apart from her clothes, she did not look like a ranch girl. But here she was at Lon Lon Ranch, tending the cows and horses.
Malon was a fairly tall and mature girl with red hair and blue eyes. She was thirteen years old, but she was beyond her years physically and mentally. She loved horses with a passion and was lucky enough to live with them, but she was still lonely. How could she not, with no one around but Ingo?
Ingo, the former ranch hand, had taken over the ranch, and now no one knew where her father, Talon was.
One day, he went out on a Lon Lon Milk delivery, and disappeared. Malon, on the other hand, had nowhere else to go, and she now did most of the work on the ranch, lest Ingo hurt the horses. Ingo pushed her hard, and was a beast to her.
Malon sighed as she moved to the horse pen. Riding at the end of the day was relaxing to her. She walked over to Epona, her favorite horse and climbed up onto the saddle. She was just about to ride when Ingo showed up. “What are you doing, girl?”
“Just horse-riding,” Malon replied innocently.
“I'm not paying you to ride! I'm paying you to work!”
Malon bit back the reply, You're not paying me at all, and instead said, “I've finished all my work for the day, sir.”
“Um...grhm....” Ingo grumbled. He could not find a substantial reply to this, so he left the pen, grumbling.
Malon smiled at outwitting her guardian and brought Epona to a slow trot. She rode around and around the horse pen, somberly thinking of her tedious life. Feed horses…brush horses…milk cows… It went on and on. If only she at least had a friend…
She had had a friend once. What was his name? It had been so long, she couldn’t remember.
She wished she could see him again.

* * *

“Ahh…”
Link sat up on his bed and stretched. He rubbed his eyes and stepped outside for a breath of fresh air after a short nap...
Rain. Pouring rain. So much for his plans of a picnic.
Link had been helping his neighbors cut grass, and had taken a nap afterward. He was hoping to have a picnic dinner.
Link went back into his house, grumbling to himself. Of course it rains today of all days... His stomach grumbled and he went back inside for something to eat. He opened his cupboard and saw...
Nothing. Only the last few drops of Lon Lon Milk.
At the same time, Link's fairy, Navi, was waking up. Navi was, to the untrained eye, just a small white dot (with wings?), like most fairies, but that's what she was. A fairy.
“Mmm, Link?” she called.
“Yes, Navi?”
“Do we have any Lon Lon Milk left?”
Link sighed. There was only enough in the bottle for Navi to eat...but it was so refreshing and nourishing. “Sure, help yourself,” he replied finally, taking the cork out of the bottle. Navi flew into the bottle and began gulping it down. Link sighed again. No dinner for him today.
Actually, it had been more than a year since he'd been to Lon Lon Ranch. He hadn't seen Epona the horse, Talon, or...
Malon!
Oh, no! Link thought. I haven't seen Malon in... almost a whole year! Oh, wow! I've got to go see her!
Link pulled himself together and called to Navi. “Hey, Navi? We're going to go to Lon Lon Ranch today.”
Navi coughed and sputtered. “Lon Lon Ranch? We haven't gone there in ages!”
Link nodded. “Yes, I know. I can't wait to see Malon again!”
Navi smiled inwardly. “And on a personal note: Do you like Malon?”
Now it was Link's turn to choke. “What!? No! We're just friends, that's all!”
Navi made a movement that looked remarkably like a shrug. “Just asking. You talk about her in your sleep. It seemed like I should ask. And one more thing: It's raining! How do we get to the ranch?”
Link smiled, but his cheeks were still red. “I think it'll stop raining soon. We could check with Mashik to be sure.” Mashik was another person in Kokiri Village, and could predict the weather fairly well. He even taught Link a few tricks.
“Okay. What time, Mr. Weatherman?”
“Hmm. We'll have to see Mashik for that.”

* * *

At six o' clock, Link and Navi finally set out to the ranch. They ran through Kokiri Village. They ran through Hyrule Field. Navi speculated Link was pretty excited to see Malon. They ran all the way to Lon Lon Ranch.
When they got there, they walked through the path between the two buildings for people and animals. To their left was the barn for cows and chickens, and to their right was the house where the people lived.
Once Link walked through that passage, he could see the rest of the ranch, including a person riding a horse.
Malon!

Chapter 2

“Malon! Malon!”
Malon could hear someone shouting at her. “Whoa!” she said to Epona, and turned around. It looked like a boy, about her age, maybe a little older. Wearing a green tunic...
Link!
She dismounted Epona and started running towards him. That was his name. Link. The name felt like sugar on her tongue. A real friend.
“Link!” Her mind whirled. It all came back to her. He had come here once...no, twice. 'Fairy Boy' is what she had called him the first time, when she was just five and he was...probably seven or eight. The second time, he had been fifteen, but his stay was brief. He was sixteen now. Maybe this time he would stay.
She ran up to him and they gave each other an affectionate hug. Just as quickly, though, they pulled away, embarrassed. Malon couldn't find the right words to say, so she said the first thing that came to mind.
“Hi there, 'Fairy Boy!'” she said.
“Hi, Malon!” he said. “I'm sorry I haven't been here in so long! And, wow...do I have a story to tell you!”
“Well, I'd love to hear it!” Malon replied. “Over a few nice glasses of, what else, Lon Lon Milk.”
Link grinned. It was great to see her. “Sure. That works out well, since I haven't had any breakfast.”
They went into the house and Link told her the whole story of finding the three spiritual stones and finding the Ocarina of Time and defeating Ganondorf himself. Malon was enthralled during the whole conversation, occasionally taking sips of her milk. It wasn't just Link that talked, though. He and Malon went back and forth quite a few times.
“After I was returned to my time,” Link said, “Things just sort of slowed down. I pretty much forgot about everything outside the village except for the market. Even...” Link was going to say, “Even you,” but he didn't want to make Malon unhappy. Luckily for him, she didn't notice.
Suddenly, Ingo burst into the room. “You, girl!” he said. “I've got a job for you. One of those cows is moaning and groaning, and I want to finish my dinner in peace. Who is this kid?” He asked, pointing at Link.”
“He's a friend,” Malon replied defiantly. “He's visiting.”
“Pleased to meet you-” Link said.
“Whoever he is,” Ingo said, completely ignoring Link, “Make sure he doesn't get in the way of your chores!”
He left the room, slamming the door. “Well, he was nice,” Link said sarcastically. “Not that that's changed over the years.”
“That's Ingo, all right,” Malon said. “He's taken over the ranch. “If I don't do everything he says, he will treat the horses so badly...”
Link instantly felt sorry for her. How cruel of Ingo, to work a girl so hard! He would have to do something about it.
But Malon continued. “Here, c'mon. I'd like some help...as long as you wouldn't mind.” Link nodded, she grabbed him by the hand, and led him towards the cows.

* * *

After they had pulled the thorn, since the cow had a thorn stuck in her hoof and milked the cow, they went to Malon's room. “This is it,” Malon said, waving her hand around the room.
It was a surprisingly large room, with a bed and dresser. And on the dresser was...
“An ocarina!?” Link blurted. “You have an ocarina?”
“Mm hmm,” Malon replied. “I learned to play when I was seven. I only learned to play one song...but I learned it to perfection.” She gave a little half-smile and continued. “You still have yours?”
“I got two new ones. I can play soprano or alto. Yours?”
“Soprano.”
Without Malon even saying a word, Link knew what song she learned.
Her mother's.
The one Malon had taught him so long ago, when they were young...
They began to play, slowly, a beautiful duet. The chords and harmonies flowed perfectly, like two masters of the art, playing the ocarina. They played for five straight minutes. Five wonderful minutes of playing that amazing song. Painting a beautiful picture of the ranch...no, of the world. In peace.
The great duet ended with Link on a low D, and Malon on a high F sharp. They each held the note as long as their breath would allow. Afterward, they lay down their ocarinas and stared at each other. Finally, Malon broke the silence with a deep sigh, and lowered her gaze to the ocarina.
“It's the last thing I have of my mother,” she explained softly, referring to her ocarina. “I've had it since she...died. I always remember her when I play it.”
Link cleared his throat and stood up awkwardly, ready to say goodbye.
“Wait, don't go,” Malon said. She realized that sounded odd, and corrected herself: “I mean, you're welcome to stay as long as you want.”
Link smiled. Not a half smile, nor a fake smile, but a smile of pure happiness. “I would like that, Malon,” he said fondly. “I'd like that a lot.”

Chapter Three


When they woke up, Malon went straight to work in the kitchen, preparing three omelets. Link felt compelled to work too, and began pouring Lon Lon Milk for the three of them and setting the table. Neither of them talked about the previous night (except for Malon's inquiry of, “How did you sleep, Link?” to which he answered, “Great!” and Malon concluded, “Good, me too.”), but both of them thought about it.
Ingo entered the room shortly after eight, yelling, “Where's my Chateau Romani!?”
“What are you talking about?” Malon asked.
“Impudent child!” he yelled. “I told you to go down to the market and get me some wine! I always drink wine in the morning!”
Malon mouthed the words “This is new,” to Link. She quickly replied to her livid master, “I am so sorry. I'll go to the market right away to get you your all-important wine.”
Ingo screwed up his face to scrutinize her. Having lived with no one but Malon for so long, he had forgotten how to recognize sarcasm. “Fine,” he spat finally. He quickly added, “And take your leprechaun with you.”
Link filled with rage at the man, but despite what his heart and mind were telling him to do, he replied politely, “I'll keep her safe.”
Ingo muttered something about not caring, and motioned towards the door. Both Malon and Link rushed out the door, ready to be away from Ingo. “I guess we have an errand to run,” Malon said. “Shall we?”
Link swept his hand elegantly in the direction they were to go. Malon put her hand to her mouth and giggled, something she had not done in a very long time.
“Who drinks wine in the morning, anyway?” Link asked.
“No one but Ingo...”
On the way, Malon told Link the story of how Ingo had taken over the ranch, and how her father had disappeared. Near the end of this tragic story, Link shouted, “Wait!!”
Startled, Malon jumped back. “What?” She asked, looking at him quizzically.
“I know the answer to your problem!” Link shouted. Malon covered her ears, signaling that he didn't need to shout. Link blushed, but continued on. “I know someone who can tell you where your father is! Follow me!” Link started jogging towards the market, and Malon followed suit.
Link knew who knew.
The Great Fairy.

* * *

They tore through Hyrule Field. They tore through the market, bypassing the wine stand without a glance in that direction. They finally arrived at the gate to Hyrule Castle. “What are we doing here, Link?” Malon asked.
“You'll see,” Link replied. “Trust me.” And she did. Implicitly.
“I know a way to get past the gate,” Link explained. “Follow me.” Link turned around and began walking. He turned to the left, where there were some vines. “We have to climb up,” he whispered. “I'll give you a lift.”
She put her foot on his hands, and he hoisted her up. Then, he climbed the vines. The plateau that they were on bypassed the gate completely! They would have to crawl, though, to stay out of the view of the guards. They crept along silently, careful not to disturb them.
The plateau had a drop-off, and the duo of Link and Malon jumped down. “We're home free,” Link whispered. “There aren't any guards where we're going.”
Malon saw a hole in the rock wall straight ahead. She pointed to it and asked, “Is that where we're going?” Link nodded. They crept closer and closer, until finally they were there.
There, at the bottom of the rock wall, was a hole that went into it. It was probably just big enough for them to crawl through. Malon sighed. “This had better be good,” she whispered. “This is my favorite dress.”
“Don't worry,” Link said, grinning. “It will be.” He motioned for Malon to crawl through the hole.
“Uh-uh,” she said. “You first.”
He crawled through the hole, and Malon followed behind. Link was the first to get through the short tunnel. “Yup,” he said, now standing up. “Just how I remember it.”
Malon made her way through the tunnel and instinctively stood up. To her surprise, she found herself in a room – and not just any room.
The walls were shimmering.
They both found themselves in a dome-shaped room with concrete floors and purple walls. Or black. They couldn't tell. The colors changed back and forth too fast. Straight ahead they could see a shallow pool of water, with ripples coming out of the center. But what really caught Malon's eye was what was above the pool. A woman.
Floating.
In midair.

Part 2: The Adventure

Chapter 4

“Ooh, Link! Greetings!” The lady said.
“Malon,” Link explained, “Meet the Great Fairy.”
“Oh!” The Great Fairy exclaimed. “And you brought your sweetheart, too!”
Both Link and Malon completely ignored that comment, and Link continued: “Ms. Fairy, we need a favor.”
Her smile drooped a bit, but she perked it back up. “Yes?”
“My father,” Malon said, taking over. “His name is Talon. He disappeared over a year ago. Can you tell me where he is, please?”
“Oh, of course I would, sweetie.”
“Would?”
Her smile drooped fully. “Yes, would. You see, as you might expect, not very many people venture in here. We fairies have a finite amount of magic, magic and have to use often to keep it from withering away. Well, mine has withered. There's only one way to get my magic back – and I can't get out of here. I'm too big for that little hole!
“So there's only two ways you can find your daddy, that Talon fellow. One, you can look for him yourself. Two, you can help me get my magic back, and I can just tell you.”
“Hmm,” Malon said. “What does it take to get your magic back?”
“Oh,” The Great Fairy replied. “It's just a matter of finding four different fairies from four different locations. If they give some magic to me, they'll have just enough to get home and replenish it. Do you have a map?”
Link knew just what she meant by this, stepped forward, and handed her the map. “She's going to mark my map,” Link said to Malon. “I think.”
“There,” The Great Fairy said, handing the map back. “I've just marked your map with the spots you must go. These are the Fairy Fountains.”
“Thank you,” Link and Malon said simultaneously. They turned to leave, but The Great Fairy interrupted them. “Wait,” she said. “You'll need a little something for the journey.” A green orb appeared in front of her. She threw it onto the flooor, and it shattered, but into the perfect gems they knew as Rupees, the currency of Hyrule.
Link and Malon gaped at the sight. Link had never seen so many rupees in one place, and Malon didn't know how they were supposed to use it all. “Um...uh....” they stammered.
“Oh, don't bother thanking me,” she said. “It's the least I can do.”
Link and Malon began to pick up the Rupees, and The Great Fairy continued. “That should be enough for a sword, shield, and bow for the young lady.”
“Wait,” Link said. “You kind of alluded to this being an easy thing to do. You mean it'll be dangerous?”
“Yes,” The Great Fairy admitted. “It'll be a little dangerous. You're the Hero of Time! Don't tell me you're scared!”
“No, I'm not scared, but I wouldn't want to put Malon in any danger.”
Malon scowled for the first time since Link had been with her. “What do you mean? I'm coming with you!”
“Malon, you can't,” Link replied. “I've got to do this for you. I owe it to you for not seeing you in so long! Besides, I can't let you get hurt!”
Malon suddenly strafed around Link, drew his sword, and started cleaving away at the air. She wasn't amazing, but Link knew then that she would be okay on a journey. “I can defend myself,” She said to emphasize her point.
“All right,” Link said, holding up his hands. “How about Ingo? What're we going to do about him?”
“Ms. Fairy?” Malon asked. “If we give you your magic, can you also wipe the ranch hand's mind? He'll punish us if we don't come back in a few hours.”
“Of course, sweetie.”
Malon turned around and raised her eyebrows in an 'I told you so' look. Link frowned and said, “Fine. You can come.”
“All right,” said Malon. “I'm happy.”
“Now, can I please have my sword back?”
Malon giggled and handed the sword back to Link. He put it back in its sheath, where it belonged.
“All right, I think you're ready to go,” The Great Fairy said. “Happy traveling!”
“Wait,” said Malon. “Swear on the Triforce that you'll keep your promise.”
Link whistled. She was one clever girl. “All right,” The Great Fairy said. “I swear on the Triforce that I will find your father if you find my magic.”
“Now it's time to go,” Malon concluded, smiling. “Ready, Link?”
“You bet,” he replied. “Bye, Ms. Fairy. Thanks!”
“No problem,” said The Great Fairy. “Good luck!”
Link entered the tunnel again with Malon right behind him. He crawled by shuffling his elbows, while Malon went on hands and knees. Link exited the tunnel and stood up. “Halt,” said two voices on either side of him.
Link looked around in alarm just as Malon exited the tunnel, and was surprised to see what he saw.
Guards.


Chapter Five

“Well, I guess this is practice for being in danger,” Link said to Malon as she stood up.
The taller guard wondered what on earth he meant by this, but was trained to ask only the standard questions, two of which he was about to ask. “Who are you and why are you here?” he asked.
“Um...” Link was at a loss for words. He had been through here dozens of times, when the situation required it, and the guards had never caught him before! “We were...um...”
“Never mind that,” the shorter guard said. “We'll take you to the king, and he'll decide what to do with you.”
The taller guard whispered in his colleague's ear. “No problem,” the shorter guard said aloud. “We'll just take them to the princess. She's done this dozens of times.”
“No, we can't,” said Tall Guard. “She's busy!”
“Whaddaya mean she's busy?” Short Guard asked. “She's a princess! She's got plenty 'a free time! What's she doin' that's so important, huh?”
“She put a sign on her door that said, 'Busy. Keep out.' That's reason 'nuff!”
“Be quiet! Of course we can take 'em to her! She's put a sign on her door plenty 'a times!”
“No, she hasn't!” Tall Guard said, indignant.
“Yes. She. HAS!” Short Guard bellowed.
“Not a 'Keep Out' sign, though!”
“WE'RE BRINGING THE PRISONERS TO THE PRINCESS!” Short Guard screamed. “Wait a sec'nd. Where'd they go?”
Link and Malon, in the middle of the guard's bickering, had crept back onto the plateau and left in a hurry. Link had been smiling the whole time. That type of intellect was why he had never been caught. Since all he had ever been seen doing was passing the gate, he wasn't even considered an outlaw.
“That was close,” Malon said. “But it would've been much easier with a sword.”
“I suppose, but we shouldn't hurt our allies.”
“All right, Hero,” Malon said, smiling. She thought Link looked cute when he was making a point. He waved his hands around a lot, and his blonde hair bounced. “Either way, I need a sword and shield. Badly.”
“All right. Come on.” Link motioned to the market, and they were off. They ran towards the market and arrived there quickly. They bypasseed the wine stand again, which was having a sale on Chateau Romani. Link searched and searched, until he finally found Mogar's Bazaar. Link motioned for Malon to enter. She went in and saw a large, hairy man standing behind a counter. He was not wearing a shirt, but instead an ill-fitting vest.
“What can I do for ya, Link?” he asked. “New sword? Shield? Bombs? I've got 'em all, you know.”
“I need a sword, Mogar,” Link said. “Do you have anything...well, what sword do you prefer, Malon?”
“I think I'd be best suited with something long and thin.”
“You heard her,” Link said. “Do you have any?”
“Of course!” Mogar said enthusiastically. “Let's see...” He went to the back room. Lin, with his keen hearing, could hear some banging and rattling sounds as Mogar rummaged through his wares. Finally he returned. “Would this do?”
He had come out with what, at first glance, looked like your common run-of-the-mill sword, but it was beautiful in its simplicity. Its hilt was a gleaming silver, as was the blade, and it spun around on itself in a spiral. Malon held the sword reverently, but still poised to strike. She gave it a few slices and cleaves at the air and finally said, “It's perfect. Well balanced, beautiful appearance, and it just seems right. How much?”
“Oh, she's a beauty, that one,” Mogar said, winking at Link. “The sword, though, will be about...eighty Rupees. That sound fair?”
“It's fair enough,” Link said. “We'll take it.”
“One thing I gotta know,” Mogar inquired. “What's her name?”
“Uppercut,” Malon said, referring to the sword.
“Malon,” Link said simultaneously, referring to his companion.
“All right, need anything else?” Mogar asked, smiling.
“How about a shield?” Link asked. “One that'd go with Uppercut?”
Mogar smiled and said, “I've got just the one.”
Mogar went into the back room again and was much quicker this time. He returned carrying a silver shield. It was so shiny and so polished that Malon could see herself in it. It's width was that of a sliver, but Malon still had to ask, “It's so thin, does it really work?”
“Oh, yes,” Mogar said. “I've even used it myself on a few occasions. They say that it was enchanted by a sorceress so that it would always stay with its owner, never break, and always stay perfectly clean. It works wonderfully!”
“We'll take that one too,” Malon said. “Definitely. How much?”
“She's a real beauty too. One hundred rupees for the shield. Yer total comes out ta one eighty.”
Link plunked an orange Rupee down on the counter and said, smiling, “Keep the change.”



Chapter Six

“Let's take a look at the map,” Link said, walking out of the store. “Which should we go to first? They're pretty much the same distance from here.”
Without even paying attention to where the marks were exactly, Malon said, pointing to a mark, “That one is closer, and if we follow the path here, we'll end up at all the other fairy fountains too.”
“Wow,” Link said. “How did you do that?”
“I don't know,” Malon said. “My father taught me how to read maps, but I've had a knack for them since then.”
“Did you learn swordfighting from Talon too?” Link inquired.
“Mmm hmm. 'Lon Lon Defense Academy,' he called it.”
Link noticed how melancholy Malon was and assured, “If we find him, you can show him how good you've become.”
“When we find him, you mean,” Malon corrected. “We will find him.”
“Right.”
There was silence for a few seconds, but Link then broke it. “Shall we go?” he asked.
“I'm ready if you are,” Malon replied. “Let's go!”
The first fairy fountain was at the peak of Death Mountain. Malon had already told Link where he was to go. They would walk through Hyrule Field to Kakariko Village, then up the Death Mountain Trail. Unfor-tunately, to get to the peak, they would have to go off the trail part of the way and climb up the rest of the mountain. There was one convenient rest stop that jutted out from the rock, but other than that, they would have to climb, climb, climb.
They ran through Hyrule Field, but slowed to a walk when they got to Kakariko Village. It was nearly lunchtime, and they were extremely hungry. “All right, Link,” Malon said. “This is far enough. We've got to find some food here.”
“Absolutely,” Link agreed. He spied a woman standing outside her house, and rushed over to her. “Excuse me, ma'am?” he asked. “Do you know where we could find some food? We're famished.”
“Yes,” she answered. “There's a restaurant over that way.” She pointed to her left, towards a one-floor building that was little larger than the rest of the town's houses. “By the way,” the woman added, “Have you seen a castle guard, about five feet tall, with brown eyes and a moustache? He's my husband, and he's supposed to be home by now.”
Link gulped. That was the exact description of the short guard at the castle. “Yes,” he admitted. “I saw him about thirty minutes ago. He was standing there like the rest of the guards. He was...well...guarding.”
“Hmm,” the woman said. “All right, thank you. And good luck!”
“Thank you!” the duo said as they began jogging towards the restaurant. They entered it and looked around. There was a woman behind a counter who looked ready to fall asleep. There were two tables, and a couple of chairs at each, all deserted.
“Excuse me, ma'am?” Link asked. “Me and my friend here are looking for some food. May we see the menu?”
Link and Malon almost thought they were being ignored, until the lady reached under the counter and handed them a piece of paper. Link held it, and Malon peered over his shoulder. “Wow,” she said. “It all looks delicious!”
“Yeah, it does,” Link agreed. “Ma'am? We'll take one Thyledia Platter for two. To-go, please.”
The woman went into the back room and returned seconds later with a bag in her hand. “Why to-go, Link?” Malon asked. “I'm famished!”
“Remember the shorter guard at the castle?” Link explained. “The woman outside gave us a description of him.”
“Oh, I see,” Malon said. “We have to get out of here before he's back.”
“Mmm hmm,” Link replied. “Oh, thank you, ma'am,” he said to the lady, who had thrust the bag into his hands. “Let's get out of here, Malon,” he whispered.
Malon and Link rocketed out the door and through the village, all the way to the gate of Death Mountain. There was a guard there, but they explained their intentions (but only that they were challenging them-selves to get to the top), and the guard waved them through.
“Time to eat,” Link said once they had gone a few yards. He unwrapped the bag of Thyledia, which was a delicacy in Hyrule. It contained a deviled egg wrapped in a floury dough, which was, in turn, wrapped in cheese. It was sold in nearly every restaurant in Hyrule.
“Here, Malon,” Link said. “You can borrow my bow for now. You'll need it more than I do.”
The thought of taking offense fleetingly crossed Malon's mind, but it had no effect. Malon knew that she and Link would have to be a team to do this. “Thanks,” she replied instead. “Although I hope I don't need it.”
“So do I,” Link agreed.
They ate their lunch in surprising peace. Link was the first to finish, and stood up, dusting his tunic off. Malon finished quickly afterward, ready to scale the mountain. “Well, the first part is easy,” Link said. “We can just follow the path for the first half of the mountain.”
“And the second part?”
“We'll have to go straight up.”
“Oh, good,” Malon said sarcastically. “And in a dress, too.”
“Well, we can get started on the first part now,” Link replied, and he started walking. Malon followed along, but she was not exactly enthusiastic about it.

i like it. so far i think it's pretty good. i like how you went outside the ordinary Zelda story and added things such as: Malon (she's not in many fan fictions) Ingo's wine (funny), and the enchanted shield (that's the first time i've seen a magic piece of armour in a fan fiction).
i'm extremely sorry, but i'm a grammar nazi, so here are some grammatical things for you to improve on:
-spacing. all the paragraphs were bunched together and it was kinda hard to read.
-grammar. pretty good, i did'nt see many mistakes
-accuracy to the game. it was perfect. one thing i had problems with was when Malon and link were going to visit the Great Fairy, they climbed up on the vines on the left. the vines were on the right of the road.

i really wanna see more of this (cuz i'm kinda hooked now!) so send me a message whenever you get a new chapter up. oh, and pls check out my story: LoZ WW From our world to theirs!