[ZGen] The Legend of Zelda: The Hero of The Future

Chapter 1: The Dreamer
A city was burning, houses catching fire, people running in all directions. A black cloaked man shot a black beam out of his hands, making the house in front of him explode. The words he uttered in a deep voice. "Triforce."
A blond haired boy with pointed ears in a white T-shirt woke up and fell out of his bed. He grumbled saying, "Ugh, just a bad dream, Boy Link you have to stop eating so much pizza before bed."
Link stood up still half asleep sarcastically he said, "Yep, today is a great day, I start a new school in a new town." Link took of his plaid patterned pants and replaced them with jeans, He kept the T-shirt on and went out of his bedroom walking down some steps and turned left into a kitchen where his Uncle sat sipping coffee. "Morning Link," He said cheerfully as though it was a normal morning. Link grabbed a piece of toast and still tired said, "Morning."
"Why aren't you smiling his uncle said." His uncle was not that much like Link, his Uncle had flat black hair down to only his forehead as opposed to Link whose hair is blonde. (and Like the Twilight Link) His Uncle was a tall 6 feet while Link being a teen, was still only 5'6. "It's your birthday Link."
"I appreciate Uncle, but. Are you sure you want to...I mean, my friends are far away, I'm starting school today and we just movved in last week."
"That doesn't mean we can't celebrate it together." His uncle said heartily, "It may be quiet but at least we're celebrating."
"Yeah." Link said. "Thanks Uncle Jacob."
A bus was heard in the distance, Link grabbed his bookbag and left the door after saying, "Bye Uncle."
Link was panting at the bus stop. It was a short walk but he thought the bus was right there. A yellow bus pulled up and Link got on it. Not knowing where to sit, he sat next to a green-haired girl who offered.
"I'm Saria." She said cheerfully. She was wearing Jeans and a green T-shirt.
"Link." Link simply said.
"Oh, your the engineer's kid." She said suprised.
"Nephew actually, my Uncle isn't just an engineer either, He builds and designs vehicles from Motorcycles to Stretch Limos."
"Sounds like a geek to me." came a somewhat deep voice. A tall kid sat up in the seat in front of them. "Saria, your welcoming the punching bag."
Saria shot an angry look at the tall blonde kid, "His name is Link, Medan. And he is not just another punching bag like the rest of the freshmen.
"Saria I," Link started but knew it was useless, if there is one thing Link knew, he couldn't understand a girl's defense mechanism.
Medan looked at Link "Your lucky freshmeat, If Saria weren't here to back you up I would slam out the bus right now."
Link shot his angry look at Medan, "How about you shut up Medan, I'm not afraid of you anymore than I'm afraid of a dead leaf."
Medan simply said in an intimidating voice, "You better watch it freshman, because the first moment Saria turns around, you won't be able to even close your eyes when I'm done."
Link simply stated before Medan turned around "Then I guess you'll be the one in pain when Saria turns.

As Link and Saria got off the bus together people were talking about the usual, that new boy band, video games, the baseball game last night. Link got to his locker on it was a small scratch that looked like an Ocarina, Link thought it could just be graffiti, As Link put his stuff into his locker he followed Saria to class where she was followed by 2 friends, Euro, a brown haired handsome boy who was as tall with brown eyes and regular ears and as tall as Link Link and Peso, another boy with jet black hair who was also as tall as Link he also had regular ears but Hazel eyes.
Most of the classes were okay, boring but easy. In History, Link noticed Saria shooting a cold look at Medan who was right behind Link. And In Magic class, Saria, instead of taking notes, was, as smart as she was, doodling three triangles with one on top of two others. "The Triforce," she explained to Link after class, It seemed familiar to Link, "The teacher refuses to talk about that. saying that people have died finding it and doesn't want any kids getting ideas. She does talk about minor magic that's still fun though". Saria demonstrated by pushing her hand forward and a small flower came up from a crack in the floor"
"I'm the best in the class because my parents teach me magic so I can be a botanist, but they teach me fire and water spells too." As Link and Saria went on the bus, Medas walked close behind them but was still being watched by Euro and Peso who was walking behind him.
As the friends got off ant Link's stop. Their mouths opened wide and Saria started to cry. Some of the buildings and houses were broken and some bodies, without even a drop of blood shed, were laying dead others alive were crying or talking to authorities or mourning the lost of their loved ones.
Link realized something "Uncle Jacob," Link whispered he ran toward his house Euro and Peso following close behind, Saria was still crying but followed. Link opened the door which fell off its hinges as it opened. The house on the outside was undamaged, but Link was worried what was inside.
It was always the least damaged house with the most likely dead Link worried. Euro and Peso seemed ready to fight even though it seemed no one was here. "Uncle Jacob?" Link yelled worried. Link noticed a few fallen bookcases in the dining room and that plates were shattered in the kitchen Link climbed up the stairs, "Uncle Jacob?" He inquired again hoping for an answer. Euro and Peso still remained close and Saria even looked ready to defend. As Link looked through the hall way upstairs and in his bedroom he noticed that if his uncle was anywhere, it was in his bedroom.
"Euro, Peso? I need to go into my Uncle's bedroom, keep Saria safe and be ready to fight. and most of all, be careful." Link opened the door behind him and walked in. Link picked up a fallen coal poker for the fireplace, he he slowly looked around the room and noticed another door. "What could be in it?" He said aloud, he had never been in his Uncle's bedroom before, not even in the previous home, his Uncle was rarely in it himself, he always was with Link or watching the news or some adult oriented tv show.
He opened the door, it was a large study with several books on magic that seemed to not have been opened for a really long time. Link proceeded to a note and a present, both for Link.

huh. sounds like a good concept, and you've got a good start as well. I did notice a few out of place quotation marks, and some places that could use commas, but other than that, looks good.

Okay, so I decided to read this. You have an interesting thing going on here, I must say, even for a futuristic Zelda theme.

But first thing's first. Divide this up into proper paragraphs please. It's very hard to read when it's just a wall of text. Second, press enter every time someone finishes speaking. That's how it's supposed to go. You also have some grammar and punctuation mistakes like Electricut said. You should also make these chapters much longer and more detailed.

If you'd like an example of how this should look, see my writing:

Fire Emblem: Dawn of Darkness
The Legend of Zelda: The Hidden Powers
Super Star Luigi: Battle Star Legend

Only use it for reference and your enjoyment, of course.

As Link inched forward toward the present he remembered the only rule that had a punishment, stay out of the other person's room. It went with Uncle Jacob too. The punishment was to stay in the woods for a day, no one broke the rule. Link touched the present and from behind a bookcase an 8 foot black moblin appeared. Link flinched, and grabbed on of Uncle Jacob's books. The Moblin stabbed through it with its spear, dust sprayed into the beasts eyes and Link spun around with the poker in his hand and the moblin flew out of a nearby stain glassed window. As it impacted on the ground, it blew up. Link tore open the letter.

"Dear Link, I'm sorry I had to leave you. The dark wizard was coming, I could tell because my magic watch glowed red as did many others, many of us fled Link, To Kakariko City. I leave to you everything in the present, A sword, shield and a tunic, to prove you are a true brave soul Link. When you put on the tunic, don't give me that look, when you put on the tunic, check your left pocket for a surprise. DO NOT TAKE ANYONE WITH YOU. The path to Kakariko that you must take is dangerous, it is just as dangerous to take the safer way."
Link stopped reading, He opened the present, A gray sword and Hylian shield was in there and after he put on the tunic he took out keys from the left pocket. Link simply whispered "Epona."

ah, epona's a car! nice idea, as opposed to the magic watches, which frankly, was not. and yeah, the chapters could be longer, and divides into small paragraphs. the story itself is good, but you could use to improve on those things.

Link opened his garage door and a black motorcycle was wheeled out, Epona was a futuristc motorcycle that looks jam packed with features, it was. On both sides of a motorcycle were machine guns that could pop out on the press of a button and had a GPS.
"Link do you really have to go?" Saria asked as Link wheeled Epona out of the garage.
"If I don't go find my Uncle then I'll just be vulnerable, besides, he's my family."
"Then I'll come with you." Saria said.
"Your needed here," Link said, "Your a great spellcaster. If someone comes here and attacks we're defenseless, unless your here." Link then added to himself, "I think I'm the prey."
"Then at least take this," Saria took out a green cell phone and Link took out his black one and they were pointed at each other a laser came out from each other and the lasers went through the phones. "Now we're connected," Saria said as she put her phone into her pocket.
"If your ever in trouble Link," Saria started, "Just call me now that we are connected."
Link browsed his phone, Saria was on speed dial and it had a ton of information on her and it was even showing her location and what she is doing. "Thanks."
Euro and Peso came up to Link and handed him a wallet filled with rupees.

"You need money," Euro said, "It's a day long drive from here to Kakariko and the path your going, The Lost Woods, may be longer.
" Good luck Link," Peso said, "We're rooting for you!"

Link swore he saw a tear stream down Saria's face, "Be careful Link."

Link drove off North away from the City of Harkanan.

This is too good it could even be a game with a few fixes like the talking the school and the phone.Eponas a good attatchment alsothe dead bodies would be good also,it would add more suspense.A few mistakes in spelling also other than that this is too good

Chapter 4 Hyrule Field
Link was driving past a sign that said "you are leaving Harkanan City" as Link was driving he looked at his GPS it said he had to drive through the forest. Link started to enter the forest cautiously as he drove by, he felt vibrations in the ground. Link looked around, but nothing was in sight. He continued driving and a dozen stalfos appeared behind him. Link floored it and looked back as the stalfos faded away, but only for an instant. The stalfos were all riding skeletal horses and were next to Link. Link drew his sword
Link slashed his sword at a stalhorse's leg which caused the horse to fall and fade away as Link continued driving.
A stalfos slashed at Link with his sword. Link ducked, but the stalfos' sword struck a stalfos on Link's other side. The now headless stalfos fell off his horse which caused the stalfos on the latter's right to fall. That stalfos' horse fell and tripped a stalfos' horse behind it.
Link's cell phone rang, it was Saria. Link answered it. "Saria, this isn't the best time!" Link said annoyed.
Saria's sounded as though she was crying. "My dad's dead!"
"What?" Asked Link as he slashed at a stalfos' chest. The stalfos fell on Link. "I'm having my own problems too!" Link yelled absent mindedly, still thinking about Saria's statement.
"I mean my dad al- already had it rough after he lost a rib in an a car accident! She yelled as though she was about to cry.
Link looked at the stalfos who was missing a rib, Link pushed it off the motorcycle whistling innocently.

hmm.... good, good. The chapters could use to be a lot longer, but they're good nonetheless.

the story is very good, it's different from other cause well it's in the FUTURA!
(i wrote it like that on purpose)

Chapter 4 part 2
Link was busy looking at a stalfos to sew what was coming toward him, a large fallen tree was getting closer as Link drove. Link noticed it as he slahed the stalfos in two. Link took a sharp turn and almost fell off Epona in the process. The remaining stalfos all crashed into the tree.
Saria's voice was full of worry. "Link! Are you okay? I heard a screech!"
Link was a bit shaken up himself, "Yeah yeah. The bike was making a sharp turn!"
"Well don't do..." Link's phone cut off.
"No bars." Link said almost smiling.

okay, please listen to at least me. You need longer chapters, and shorter paragraphs. You could've put those last two together plus more, and then it might've been a decent length.

I don't want to sound rude, or mean or anything, but you don't seem to be listening to your readers at all. just heed this, and you should be fine.

His paragraph length needs to be improved as well, but he also needs spacing between each one. Having a giant wall of text is a giant turn off for any potential reader.

Chapter 5 The lost woods
Link sat on a tree stump for a moment. He chuckled at his misfortune so far. "Heh. Two hours in and I've already been attacked." Link got up and shook the pain out of his left foot after that sharp turn. Link got on Epona and looked at his GPS it said "Cannot Detect Location." Link seemed confused at this it should know its location in a desert. Link suddenlly heard music. Link got on Epona and decided to follow it. Link went through a small tunnel it showed four different passages. Link took the left one and the music got louder. Link then looked at the four tunnels and took the right one.
Link noticed the music got louder again. He decided to go up and then when he went through the tunnel, he saw a sign that read "Everyone becomes a stalfos" Link left a shocked look on his face and then two Deku Scrubs popped out of the ground and sho two nuts at him. Link was shot square in the stomach and fell to the ground paralzed. Link knew that scrubs shot nuts but not paralyzing nuts. The two scrubs came out of the ground and looked like two salesmen scrubs. the two took their long arms out and dragged Link and the bike to a deep trench. The two looked at each other, nodded, and threw Link down the trench Link screamed and Link saw his bike fall after him. Everything went black after that.

My Chapters aren't lengthy because I am busy posting other fanfics and doing work.

Originally Posted by Sir Calibur

His paragraph length needs to be improved as well, but he also needs spacing between each one. Having a giant wall of text is a giant turn off for any potential reader.

Link woke up and found his bike lying damaged next to him.
"Ugh!" Link groaned as he got up. Link swore he must of fallen a few hundred feet before landing on the soft ground. The softness was little help considering how much pain he was feeling.
He heard somehing move as he examined his bike. Link drew His swor eyeing the area carefully. He heard more fast moving and he swore it was coming from behind him Link looked behind him and a giant Skullwalltula was standing in front of him. The Skullwalltula got closer and Link was getting more frightened. Link stabbed the spider in the face and jumped on top off it. The spider was angrier and angrier. This Skullwalltula must have been at least Three feet high on all 8 of its legs and about 8 feet long. Link then stuck his sword into the back and the spider dropped dead. Link fell off.
Link went on to examine his bike which had a large scratch on it. Link then pressed a button on his watch that then glowed blue and the Motorcycle hummed to life and said in a soft woman's voice, "Welcome to Epona V2.0 enter your command."
Link lifted the bike up on its own wheels and started to drive through a small hole in the wall. Link knew that this hole had to lead to something.
Link saw a light as he drove farther and farther through this hole and drove faster as he entered the light.
Link's mouth opened wide as he saw what was in front of him, A tall white castle that made his 2 story house look like an outhouse. Link then felt a stinging pain on his hand that fet like his skin would rip open and his bones disentegrate. Link fell off Epona and cluched his hand. His vision was getting blurry but he saw a blonde girl in luxurious clothing put a hand on his head and spoke in a soft voice, "It'll be okay Link."
Link uttered one ord before he passsed out, the word sounded happy, in pain, and tired, "Zelda." Link then was grabbed by guards who proceded to take him into the castle.