[Act] Halo: Helljumpers [T]

Welcome to My first Fan Book here on Zelda Universe. (And Probably the only Halo Fan Fic/Book on ZU)

Chapter 1: Combat Drop
This was it, my first Combat Drop. Everything felt louder so I flipped a switch on my helmet and an ancient type of music called “Metal” flooded the helmets speakers. I leaned back in my HEV Pod put my feet on the wall and slammed a Clip home into my M6S. Another ODST Came up “Jesus man, sit in your pod or you might get a fracture” He said “Get ready to Drop in 5” and handed me a M7S “Good, See you down there.” I slammed the SMG into a compartment in the Pod. Then a red light flooded the Pod and a Woman popped into the view screen as the Pod hatch slammed shut with a hiss. “Ok, ODSTs we’re Dropping in 1, good luck” She said as the Pod lurched in to drop position and then the clamps released with a loud hiss and then with a lurch of my stomach I dropped.

Yay for an Halo story.

But you need an longer chapter, better grammar, and more content in your chapters, I think. :3

I'd say the idea is good, but you'd need to be more descriptive over with more paragraphs and adding better grammar is better too. Perhaps make some more use of timing for the movements (You don't have to make the actions be referred to in one quick run-on sentence, but maybe elaborate on it a bit.)

i like it so far. a few things to improve upon though.
-every piece of dialogue has its own line.
-descriptions. you could say he felt the grip of the M6S as he held it, or somethin...
-a longer chapter definitely.

nice though.