Sold Out

Sold Out
A Legend of Zelda Short Story
Written by Sparty

A/N: Here's a short story that I wrote one night while I was in Poland. I didn't have a computer with me, so I wrote it down in a tiny notebook and stowed it away for awhile. Finally, about four years later, I unearthed it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, but I retain the right to having fun with its characters.

“What do you mean, 'sold out'?”

The brutish man wearing a hide jacket shrugged his meaty shoulders. “It means what it's supposed to mean.”

The younger and much smaller man on the other side of the counter seemed like he was about to explode from the frustration building up inside of him. “But I was just here a week ago and there were plenty of arrows for sale!”

“That doesn't mean we can't in any way be sold out now,” the owner of the small supplies store suggested.

“This is ridiculous!” the other sputtered. “I always buy my supply of arrows here. You know that. Today is a week before the great horseback archery contest, and I still need more practice.”

The shop owner raised an eyebrow. “You're going to compete in the horseback archery contest?”

There was a moment of silence. “What are you suggesting?” squeaked the small man.

The larger of the two let out a light chuckle then snorted. “What happened to all the other arrows that I sold you?”

“Other arrows? Which arrows?”

“Don't tell me you forgot about the 150 or so arrows that you bought from me within the last few weeks. Those arrows. You seem to run out of them mighty fast.”

“You're one to talk,” he shot back. “At least I'm not the one who's sold out.”

At the moment there was another person perusing the store's items. He had tried hard to mind his own business, but he suddenly turned around, unable to hold back this particular comment. “Nice,” he commented sardonically. “Great comeback.”

“No one was talking to you!” yelled the small man. All he received in return was a snicker from the other customer.

The big man chuckled again at the expense of his flustered client. “Business has been good lately. Besides, you said it yourself that there's an upcoming contest in archery, and this store just happens to stock up on arrows. I wonder why there aren't any left.”

“But if I don't have arrows how can I possibly be ready to compete by next week?”

“Hey, if you're really so worried about it, why don't you just learn to make your own arrows? It's really not that hard, and I'm sure that you have plenty of time on your hands, seeing as you already have the time to come into my store and yell at me.”

“You're...you're impossible!” he cried as he flung his arms up in exasperation.

The shop owner just shook his head. “No, I'm just sold out.” The little man clenched his fists tightly. “I also have a request,” added the big man. “If you're going to start crying, do so outside my shop.” Another snicker was heard from the other client who was now pretending to look at the shop's shield display.

“I need those arrows,” growled the smaller man.

“Well, this is probably the wrong place to complain about something like that. Maybe your mother would be more willing to listen to your story of woe.”

The little man slammed a fist down on the counter, across from which the shop owner just gave an amused look. “You can't talk this way to me! I'm a customer, you know. You're lucky your boss isn't here to see such treatment in his store.”

The shop owner suddenly broke out into a wild, raucous laughter, which sent the small man back a step in confusion. “Hey, shorty, I am the boss. I own this shop, and I manage this shop. All these goods are mine to sell. And you,” he said while pointing a thick finger at the vertically-challenged man, “are making a scene in my shop.”

The other customer looked up again, a smile on his face. “Yeah, I'm so offended,” he said, and a tiny hint of a snicker escaped from his mouth.

“The only other customer in here is a jackass of a man! How could that possibly be considered a scene if it's in front of him?”

The owner tapped the fingers of his right hand rhythmically on the counter-top and asked nonchalantly, “Is it really that hard to get a hint? In other words, for you to leave my shop?”

“I still don't have any arrows!”

The big man silently ground his teeth together, annoyance just about to burst through his composure. “What? Do you think I can just snap my fingers and then suddenly there will be arrows for you to buy?” As if to emphasize his point he had snapped his fingers upon saying the word “snap”. In that exact moment the door to his shop opened up, and a trim figure wearing a green tunic and hat walked through, confidence in his every step.

“Stagg!” the new arrival cried out cheerfully upon seeing the owner of the shop. He walked right up to the counter just next to where the smaller man was standing.

“Link!” Stagg replied. His voice boomed with the joy of seeing a good friend. He reached out one of his huge hairy hands to shake Link's. “You're just in time!”

“Ah, you mean that my order's ready,” asserted Link as he gave a quick nod.

“Your order,” started the bigger man and scratched his scruffy head. “Now, which order was that again?”

Link laughed. “Aw, c'mon, Stagg. You can't fool me.”

“Fool you? You, the king of all fools? And I only say this because you have got to be one crazy fool to sign up for that horseback archery contest.”

“I take offense at that,” muttered the small man, unnoticed, while Link began speaking again.

“Well, I'm not turning back now, that's for sure,” Link assured his friend. “So enough stalling already. Where's my order?”

“Oh, you mean the forty-five specially-made arrows that you preordered?”

“Yup, those are the ones.”

The small man standing next to Link harrumphed and shook his head. “Sorry,” he said, feigning regret, “but you're too late. This guy's all sold out of arrows.” Just at that moment Stagg reached down behind the counter and pulled up a few bundles of arrows tied together by twine cords. The small man's jaw suddenly dropped, his ability to say anything momentarily gone.

“Now, there may be a few extra here,” explained Stagg, “but I just didn't want there to be too little, y'know?”

Link whistled and ran a finger along the shaft of an arrow. “Nice work, as always. How much do I owe you?”

Stagg shrugged. “I'd say twenty-five rupees is fair.”

Link tossed the big man a shiny amethyst rupee piece. “Well, there may be a bit extra there, but I just don't want there to be too little, y'know?”

Stagg hummed as he looked over the rupee piece, and Link gathered up his new arrows from off the counter. “The thing I love most about doing business with you is your attitude,” said Stagg after a moment.

“How so?” queried Link.

“No matter what, you're positive, whether it's good business, or mediocre, or...um...good business. What I'm saying is that you leave us all with good feelings. Rumor has it it's the hero in you, but a hero of business? That's somethin' for sure.”

Link smiled at that. “Hero of business, eh? I don't know if it's catchy enough.”

“Fine, fine, we'll just leave the title at Hero of Time.”

Link, bundle in tow, walked toward the exit of the shop. “Well, I'll see you at the contest,” he called back to Stagg from within the exit's doorframe.

“Wouldn't want to miss the king of fools, now, would I?” he called back just as the door closed shut behind the green-clad hero. It was then that the shop owner noticed the small man still standing in front of his counter. He had a look of disgust showing on his small, red face.

“Sold out?” snarled the little person, nostrils flaring. “Really?”

Stagg just nodded in the affirmative. “Right. Sold out.”

The End

All my other works are on Unleash Your Imagination - FanFiction.Net and are much longer and more involved than this little ditty was. I just thought I'd mosey on down here and share it real quick-like. Hope you enjoyed it.