Ocarina of Time Retelling (T)

I have finally caught up! I'm glad your still early on in the story. Great stuff. How do you suscribe?

EDIT: thanks becca!

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WOW!!!. This is by far the best Zelda fanfic I have ever read!

I love Link's personality ^^

This is brilliant work thus far.
I love the writing style. Its very captivating and it definitely jump starts the imagination.
It gives a clear description of the environments and characters.
I love Link's personality. It was, I admit, quite a bit different from what I thought it would be, but it definitely works.
Its real. Well done. I look forward to reading the many chapters to come.

Great work! I was wondering how you'd manage to narrate the dungeon without it getting repetitive but you did a fantastic job.

Also, nice job with the fight scenes. Not boring and badly written as they so often are in other fanfic.

Keep up the good work!

This is amazing...im just about to read chapter 7. it is great. i found one grammatical error so far...

The most exiting thing that had happened was Navi getting attacked by a rather large flying beetle, but between her screeching and Link shooing the bug off, it was easily frightened, and quickly retreated back into the shadow.

ironic, since this was my favorite part of it all. but you give great character and personality to all the characters, and it is just an imensely immersing story and great to wake up to!

i finished the chapter...and found another error....

. It was of a deep blue color, with a red and green pattern lining the edges; a small golden triangle rest in the center of it.

nothing big...just a missing c. but great chapter. you put in a link to the past...haha lol

Aralith, even though I don't visit too often, every time I do, I come here to see if there's more. I'm always anticipating the next chapter.

Please, don't stop writing brother. You have an awesome talent.

This retelling is better than the one by Habuki.
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Novelization by Habuki

its over nine-thousand times better....

To all of my faithful readers, I just want you to know that I have abandoned neither you nor this story. In fact, Chapter Eight is currently being worked on, and I hope to have it done in a few days time. At the most, a week, I think.

In any case, I want to thank you for your continued support, even in my long absence. Hopefully, I will not disappoint you with this long awaited chapter. Farewell for now, faithful readers. I hope to see new chapters of this story just as much as you do.

this is awesome you should actually write the whole story

this is great! is there a way to bookmark it? Sorry about my capitalization (if it matters)

Whew! Finally. I know that this chapter has been long-awaited by many of you, and I hope that it doesn't disappoint. It's kind of a long one, so be prepared for that.


Chapter Eight

Motion. Light. Sound. The scent of sweat and blood. Images of swords striking shields. Thoughts barely passed through as instinct took over. Swiftly dodging a stab at his waist, turning to deliver a blow to his foe's arm, his adversary parried it. Now was the chance for his opponent to strike, yet he did nothing. He sheathed his sword, dropped his defensive posture, and stood calmly.

“Link, mah boy, ye've gotta anticipate what yer enemy's gonner do,” Sahasrahla said, “Ye've gotta know tha' yer adversary's still gonna be ther' by the time yer sword is. Ye've gotta hold yer ground, know where he's gonna strike, and be ther' before 'im. Most importantly though,” he continued, now pointing at his head and furrowing his brow, “Ye've gotta be smarter than 'im. Skill be no match fer experience, and tha's a fact.”

Brandishing his worn broad sword and raising it to a defensive position, Sahasrahla said, “Now, le's try tha' one more time.”

Link firmly grasped his sword in his hand and tightened his shield up on his right arm. Preparing for the battle, he hearkened back to the training Sahasrahla had already given him. Had it only been a fortnight past since he departed from his home and sustained his injury? It seemed so long ago now, likened to an old memory, or a past life. It might as well have been both, for Link could not return until he saw the completion of his quest to its full.

Nonetheless, his focus was now steadfastly on the task at hand. Recalling Sahasrahla saying that a sword needed to be held firmly but gently, Link loosened his grip on the hilt of his sword slightly. Now lunging at his mock foe, he performed a slice, holding the sword just the way the old swordsman had shown him. It was blocked. Caught off guard, Link realized he had put too much weight into his swing, a costly mistake, for he was now losing his balance.

Sahasrahla seized the moment, and pushed Link onto the ground. “Now ther', lad. If you hadn' been so eager to rush me like tha', you wouldn' be on the ground now,” he said, offering a hand to Link to help him back onto his feet.

Link ignored the kind gesture, and pulled himself to his feet. A smile cracked at the edge of Sahasrahla's face, which turned into a wide grin, and finally he burst out laughing. Vexed, Link inquired as to what was so amusing. “Oh nothing, lad,” came the reply, still fraught with laughter, “Jus' ye're so unwillin' to take the help tha's offered yeh.”

Now becoming much more serious, he continued, “Use me training, boy. Use me knowledge and experience. Ye won' find it many other places. If a person be offerin' to help you, let 'em. Now, I not be sayin' to just let the world pamper and baby yeh, but if ye honestly need someone's help, don' be afraid to ask fer it. And especially don' turn it down if someone sees ye could use some help and offers it to yeh.”

His voice taking a much lighter tone now, and his face breaking into a smile, “After all, yeh wouldn' want to come off as rude, now would yeh?”

A hearty guffaw accompanied this, as he patted Link on the back, almost knocking him to the ground again. “There's worlds of difference between being trained by you, and you helping me off the ground,”came Link's reply finally, “I can get up fine on my own, thanks.”

Another snort of laughter from Sahasrahla before he said, “Oh, and ye thinks ye've taken kindly to me training, do yeh? Ye've been tough to accept it e'ry step of the way. E'ry lesson ye've learnt from me has been hard. How else do yeh think yeh ended up on the ground jus' a moment ago?”

Link opened his mouth to say something, but very quickly thought better of it. “Tha's wha' I thought, lad.”

Link begrudgingly accepted Sahasrahla's input in this matter... for the time being.

“Alright lad, it be gettin' dark. Le's see to some food and some sleep. And tomorrow, we head out for Hyrule.”

“Wait, but didn't you just say that I haven't taken well to the training you've given me? Why would we depart for Hyrule if you still don't think I'm good enough with a blade?”

“It's not a ma'er of being good enough, boy. It's a ma'er of having the right experience. I can' offer yeh much more of that here. No, it's time yeh saw some real figh'in', lad. And there'll be plenty of that in Hyrule, I can assure ye. Many a beast wanders the land between settlements these days. Especially at night. Don' yeh worry you, lad. Ye'll see some figh'in' soon enough.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

Link awoke to the sound of Navi's piercing voice prying at him to get up. “Come on, Link. Sahasrahla asked me to wake you, so wake you I shall.”

He just lay still, hoping that she would find her efforts futile. “I am not going to go away just because you're ignoring me,” came her response to this, “I know that you're awake cause you're not shivering anymore. Did you have another nightmare?”

Link bolted up at the sound of this. He was covered in beads of sweat, and his palms felt damp and chill. He must have been having a nightmare, but... he didn't even remember it. Usually there was still some lingering sensation. He rarely remembered precisely what he dreamt of, but he always knew that it was terrible. This time though, nothing.

Turning to look at Navi, he said, “I-I don't know. I don't remember.”

“Well, okay,” Navi replied, a bit perplexed, “Just get up now. We're leaving the forest today. Sahasrahla is preparing his horse now. He wants to have a word with you outside.”

Link rubbed his eyes for a moment, then reached for his blanket to remove it before remembering that he was still in naught but his under garments. “Uh, Navi, do you think you could turn around or leave for a minute while I change?”

She giggled for a second before mockingly saying, “Awwww, a bit shy are we? How cute!”

Rolling his eyes, Link replied, “Not particularly. I just figured that you wouldn't want to see me half naked.”

“Oh, so then you're thinking of someone else? Not as detached and uncaring as we pretend to be, are we?” she still mockingly retorted, placing her hands on her hips.

Link paused for a moment and stared blankly at her before somewhat facetiously saying, “Just go away, Navi.”

Still giggling to herself, she exited the tent, finally allowing Link some peace. Quickly getting dressed into his green tunic and brown leather boots, Link strapped on his belt and knelt down to grab his dagger. But it wasn't there. Panicking briefly, Link promptly remembered that he no longer had his dagger. It was in the forest... along with the rest of his life.

As memories came rushing back of his life in the wood, Link still couldn't believe that he was leaving it behind. It all felt so surreal to him. Like a bad dream, that he would just wake up from. He imagined that he would soon wake in his own bed, warm and cozy, with no charge of a quest for Hyrule, and his only friend Saria there to spend the day with. Saria, Link thought, I wonder if she's okay? How hurt is she that I had to leave? Or is she at all? Maybe she got over it. But, no. That's not like Saria at all. She was always so emotional. It made her seem fragile, but... she was always far stronger than I.

Punching the hard dirt with his fist, a surge of anger rose up through his body. Just as the ocarina was a vessel for music, so now was his body for rage. Taking the ocarina Saria had made for him out of his pouch, he was tempted to throw it against the wall and smash it. But then, as quickly as the anger had come, it ebbed, and relented. Link was free of it for now.

Dragging himself to his feet, Link stood up to a straight posture, and headed out the door of the tent. Approaching Sahasrahla and his horse, the old man took notice of him and said, “Ah, Link. Ye're up at last. Was beginnin' to make me wonder if ye'd ever get up, yeh was.”

Breaking into a broad smile at this last bit, he continued, “I don' think ye've been properly introduced to me little pony. This here is Sleipnir. Raised 'im meself, I did. Yep, me and 'im have been through a lot together.”

Despite the fact that Sahasrahla referred to Sleipnir as a pony, in actuality, he was a full grown horse. A rather large one at that. It's fur was of a deep burgundy colour, with a beautiful black mane and tail. A truly magnificent creature. Especially for having been in Sahasrahla's charge for so long. Link could only imagine what kind of adventure and daring this horse had seen in its life. And yet, it still was an animal of elegance and grace.

Sahsrahla patted it kindly on the nose, and Link could tell that he loved it. The bond between man and animal was strong. Incredibly strong. Link was unsure how, but he almost felt the love between Sahasrhla and Sleipnir, as though their bond was emanating some sort of tangible force. “Yeh can tell, can' yeh, boy?” Sahasrahla said without taking his eyes off of Sleipnir.

“Yeh can tell tha' we share a strong bond, can' yeh?”

Link gulped for a moment, before nodding. Sahasrahla let out a mild laugh, and said, “I thought so. I could tell, from the moment I set eyes on yeh, tha' yeh were special. Tha' ther' was somethin' different about yeh. Now I know wha' it is.”

Link stared intently at Sahasrahla, eagerly awaiting his answer. But none came. Sahasrahla merely turned away from his horse and said, “Well, we best be off soon. Within the hour, me hopes. And you're going to help tha' happen. I've already taken e'ryting out of the tent, save yer bed. Now it be yer job,” now pointing a finger at Link, “to bring yer bed out here, and pack up the tent, whilst I be packing e'ryting else up. Are we clear?”

The disappointment in Link's eyes was clear. He had wanted to know just what Sahasrahla “knew”, but he didn't get to. At least not yet. He wasn't ready to reveal his secret just yet. Link only hoped he would be soon. “Aww, what the long face fer, lad? We got to get all this packed up before we can take off fer Hyrule. Now, run along, little one. We've got a busy day ahead of us.”

Link reentered the tent and grabbed his bedding. Taking a last look around, Sahasrahla had indeed told him the truth. Nothing else was left there. How didn't I notice that before? Link thought to himself. Ah well, no matter.

And with that, took the bedding outside for Sahasrahla to pack up on the horse.

Taking the tent down proved to be a more difficult task than Link had thought it would be. Every time he made a mistake, Sahasrahla was quick to point it out, but never offered to help. The more Link tried to fold the tent up, the more frustrated he got, and the more Sahsrahla laughed at him. Finally, “Lad, ye've clearly no idea wha' ye'r doing,” Sahasrahla said, still laughing in between words.

“Well then why don't you come over here and do it,” Link replied angrily, still struggling with the canvas.

“'Cause yeh never asked,” Sahasrahla said, obviously trying to make a point.

Link sighed, struggled with the tent for a few more seconds, and then finally threw it down in frustration. “Alright, fine. Will you help me?” Link said, obviously not wanting to.

“Yes, I will,” came Sahasrahla's reply, in a very matter-of-fact tone of voice.

With Sahasrhala's help, the rest of it went quite smoothly. Link was still a little bothered by his clandestine attempt to teach him a lesson in humility, but he couldn't help but admit that the aged mentor had a point.

Everything now packed onto the horse, which was quite laden by this time, they were finally ready to depart. The journey out of the forest was quiet, and surprisingly short. Before long, Link could see bright light at the end of their path, and he knew that their journey to Hyrule was almost at an end. Soon enough, he would be completing the task set to him by the Great Deku Tree, and then his debt would be repaid. Nothing, though, could have prepared Link for what lay ahead.

As they approached the edge of the forest, Link noticed an owl perched on a nearby tree. He couldn't help but feel some sense of familiarity when he looked at that owl. He was certain that he had never seen it before in his life, yet something was familiar about it. Unable to place his finger on the feeling, Link just ignored it and continued onwards.

Finally coming out from under the tree's canopy, Link was blinded by the bright light for nearly twenty seconds before finally adjusting to it. Even then, it was hard for him to see. Kokiri Forest had never known light of this magnitude or magnificence. Finally opening his eyes, the sight that now lay before him caused him to audibly gasp. He was at the top of a small hill, and below him lay a large, expansive field, extending in all directions, with no visible end. A town dotted here and there were the most distinguishable landmarks Link could see. Other than that, nothing but grass and trees, for as far as he could see.

“Link, mah boy, welcome to Hyrule,” Sahasrahla said with a grin, seeing the young boy's reaction to the sight before him.

After another few seconds of Link staring out at the field amazed, Sahasrahla again spoke: “Come now, Link. We don' have all day to sight see. We've got to get yeh to the castle, and tha's a good two day journey away. Best not be losin' time now.”

Link was rather taken aback by this news, finally snapping him from his reverie. “Two days?! Where will we stay during the night? There can be no safe place to put up a tent in this land. It would be visible for leagues!” he protested.

Sahasrahla let out a hearty guffaw before saying, “And this, lad, is where yeh need to trust me. I wouldn' have been able to get here were that the case, now would I?”

Link slowly shook his head, looking a bit defeated. “Tha's right, lad. Now, ther' be a town half a day's march ahead of us. We can make it there before nightfall, as long as we don' run into trouble. Seek we the Township of Lon Lon,” Sahasrahla firmly stated, “We best get going now, 'fore we run out of daylight.”

And with that, the old man began leading the horse down the hill to the field below. And Link could only follow and stare in amazement at all that was around him.

Yay for more! Overrated grammar first; just the few little things I noticed:

“Alright lad, it be gettin' dark. Le's seem to some food and some sleep. And tomorrow, we head out for Hyrule.”

I know this guy talks like a dwarf but did you intentionally use seem, or did you mean see?

It all felt so surreal to him. Like a bad dream, that he would just wake up from.

This line could use a revision to clarify.

And with that, took the bedding outside for Sahasrahla to pack up on the horse.

Missing our personage here. Who took the bedding?

****

Whew, glad that stuff is done. As for critique, all I can really do is reiterate what has been said before: nice work! I love all the little subtle easter eggs that relate to the game, and yet are vastly different. I was certainly surprised, and possibly relieved, when Kaepora Gaebora didn't say anything.

One thing I noticed, which is only a minor part of editing, is there is some word overuse. What I mean by that is you use a word, like "see", for example, and you have it again in the next sentence. This isn't an issue that leads to the end of the world, but shuffling prose a bit can greatly help the flow and keep the reader's mind from becoming bored. Try reading the work out loud, and you will see what I mean.

Just some feedback to chew on. I really hope this work comes to complete fruition, as I would love to see how you will retcon some of my favorite elements.

Excellent read as always Aralith
Glad to see you get back to writing, MAH BOI.

Nice work, man. I think Doran has already stated any of the things that I noticed or would have said, so I'll set the critique aside. I'm glad to see this in production again!

Also, THANK YOU for not letting that damned owl talk. You made the story even better by just doing that =D.

hey, just want to say great chapter and hope to see more coming when you get the time.

Heh, loved it. I also laughed every time Saharlsa (forgive me) would say MAH BOI! You weren't referencing the CD-I games, were you?

Originally Posted by Skylark

Great nod at Alltp with Sahasrahla.

Hehehe. I thought it would be a great nod as well. Plus I needed to come up with a Zelda type name for an original character. What better than to use... another Zelda name?

I finally was able to catch up with the story. Probably the best fanfic I have ever read.

Wow, thanks, that's quite the compliment. Thank you.

I really like Link's character. It has alot of room to grow as the story goes on.

And grow it will. I won't reveal anything yet, but I've got some interesting things planned for Link.

Originally Posted by Coke

I have one thing to say...

YOU ARE AN AMAZING AUTHOR!!!

Thank you.

I love Link's character, I like navi, and I ESPECIALLY like link smashing Mido's face it!

Yeah, I loved writing that part too. I've been wanting to do that to Mido since the first time I played OoT, and finally getting the chance to... it felt pretty good.

Originally Posted by xyz702

WOW!!!. This is by far the best Zelda fanfic I have ever read!

That's a pretty big compliment. Thank you.

Originally Posted by oni_lunk

This is brilliant work thus far.
I love the writing style. Its very captivating and it definitely jump starts the imagination.
It gives a clear description of the environments and characters.

Ah, yes, description. One of my favorite things in writing, if it wasn't obvious. I absolutely love describing everything. If I can't make a visual picture of something in my head, then it's not described well enough, in my book. Which is a big reason as to why I wanted to write this story. I ALREADY have most of the locations as a picture in my head from playing the game, and I wanted to see if I could still provide the same description I have for my writings in the past.

Essentially, I wanted someone who had never played OoT before and who had no idea what happened in it or anything to be able to relate to this story, and understand what was going on. So I've been doing my best to not just assume that my readers know what happens, and therefore leave out important descriptors.

Unfortunately, so far, I've only had one person who's never played OoT read it, so I don't really know if I'm accomplishing this. The person I had read it, my mother, was able to follow it well enough, but I'd like to get the opinion of other people who haven't played the game as well, and see what they think.

I love Link's personality. It was, I admit, quite a bit different from what I thought it would be, but it definitely works.

Heh, well that's good. I don't know, I guess I've just always viewed OoT Link as this really dark kind of character. I mean, he's been shunned by his peers for years, he's sent out on a quest that he probably doesn't want to go on. I gather this from the scene in the game between him and Saria, when he runs from her, because he's afraid he'll stay and won't complete his quest if he allows himself to feel any more emotion. That's just my interpretation though.

Its real. Well done. I look forward to reading the many chapters to come.

Thank you. I look forward to writing them.

Originally Posted by Darbus

Great work! I was wondering how you'd manage to narrate the dungeon without it getting repetitive but you did a fantastic job.

Whew! I know other people have already said I did a good job with the dungeon, but it's always nice to hear it again. I tried my absolute hardest (and will continue to do so for future dungeons) to make it much more plausible and realistic. And so that, yeah, it doesn't get repetitive later on.

Also, nice job with the fight scenes. Not boring and badly written as they so often are in other fanfic.

Another thing that's good to hear. I was very worried that the fight scenes would get boring. Since they were essentially just hack and slash scenes, being told with different words each time.

That's also one of the reasons I changed the Gohma battle the way I did. Make it more than just hack and slash to make it more interesting.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks, I'll try.

Originally Posted by Midna of Twili

This is amazing...im just about to read chapter 7. it is great.

Thank you.

but you give great character and personality to all the characters, and it is just an imensely immersing story and great to wake up to!

Hehehehe, well thanks. It's nice to hear that one's work is appreciated.

Originally Posted by Omega1304

this is awesome you should actually write the whole story

Oh, I fully intend to. I may have taken a long break from it, but I'm back now. And I very much intend to see this story through to completion.

Originally Posted by Doran_Bladefist

Yay for more! Overrated grammar first; just the few little things I noticed:

Ah yes. Perhaps overrated, but necessary nonetheless. Besides, I'm a grammar freaking Nazi, so it's nice to hear where I messed up so I can fix it.

I know this guy talks like a dwarf but did you intentionally use seem, or did you mean see?

Oh, yeah, I did mean see. Thanks for pointing that out.

This line could use a revision to clarify.

Hmmmm. This sounded good when I first wrote it, but now looking back on it, it is kind of awkward and unclear. Thanks for pointing that out. Sometimes one needs a second perspective before realizing that they have made an error.

Missing our personage here. Who took the bedding?

Whoops! My bad. I meant to put Link in there, I swear I did. He must have just gotten lost somewhere between my brain and my fingers.

Whew, glad that stuff is done. As for critique, all I can really do is reiterate what has been said before: nice work! I love all the little subtle easter eggs that relate to the game, and yet are vastly different. I was certainly surprised, and possibly relieved, when Kaepora Gaebora didn't say anything.

Well, he was a bit of a nuisance. I hope to change that though. Without spoiling too much, Kaepora will be more than just an easter egg. He'll serve some purposes. So, he's helpful, without being annoying like he was in the game. That's what I'm hoping to do with him. I've got a few things planned for him right now, and I'm sure I'll add more, or subtract more, as the story progresses, and I realize what might be appropriate times for him to show up.

One thing I noticed, which is only a minor part of editing, is there is some word overuse. What I mean by that is you use a word, like "see", for example, and you have it again in the next sentence. This isn't an issue that leads to the end of the world, but shuffling prose a bit can greatly help the flow and keep the reader's mind from becoming bored. Try reading the work out loud, and you will see what I mean.

Heh, yeah, I'm usually pretty good about that kind of stuff. This chapter was more filler than anything, so I... well, to tell the truth, I kind of rushed through it. A big mistake. I've always told myself that even though it's filler, it should still be good filler. Didn't follow my own advice, and I end up with stuff like that. I might revise it later, if I get the chance. Or I might just learn from this and not rush anything else in the story. We'll see.

Just some feedback to chew on.

Thanks for it. It's much appreciated.

I really hope this work comes to complete fruition as I would love to see how you will retcon some of my favorite elements.

I hope it does too, and I fully intend to see it through to the end. I'm already tossing around ideas for what I could do with the battle with Ganon, some of which I'm very excited to write about, so I definitely hope I get the chance to.

Originally Posted by Erimgard

Excellent read as always Aralith
Glad to see you get back to writing, MAH BOI.

Hehehehe. I'm glad to be back at it. I see that you got the reference.

Originally Posted by Xeves

Nice work, man. I think Doran has already stated any of the things that I noticed or would have said, so I'll set the critique aside. I'm glad to see this in production again!

As am I, my friend. As am I.

Also, THANK YOU for not letting that damned owl talk. You made the story even better by just doing that =D.

Hehehehehehe. Yeah, no talking for now. MAYBE later, but I'm still not so sure about that. He will play more roles in the story though, so don't be counting him as down and out just yet.

Originally Posted by Master X

hey, just want to say great chapter and hope to see more coming when you get the time.

Thanks. Chapter Nine is already in production, so I'm sure that there will be more of it. As I said before, it is my intention to finish this story all the way to the end.

Originally Posted by JimHarbis

Heh, loved it. I also laughed every time Saharlsa (forgive me) would say MAH BOI! You weren't referencing the CD-I games, were you?

Oh, but I was.

I thought that a small reference like that would be kind of fun, and wouldn't detract from the story as much as, say, a man melting into bubbles while saying, "You killed me!" would be.

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Whew! I think I'm all caught up on comments now. If I missed anybody's, I apologize. It was not my intention. I'm trying to respond to everyone here.