(com)OOT Parody - 3x Link [T]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was hilarious! I loved how the bait was Playfish magazine. This chapter was very random, with the cook and Sebastian appearing unexpectedly. But that's good, because I find randomness hilarious. It was funny how , in the end, the fisherman was beastiophile (Is that what you call someone who's turned on by animals other than humans?).

(moms hide the children, because it's time for The Trickster's review!) I don't know why but when i heard "under the sea" I imagine Sebastian would be somewhere around this chapter... anyways, here is my review on chapter 56: the fishing pond- under the sea

Jokes: I don’t know why I even bother to say that the jokes are really original and funny if we all know you always do it like that. This chapter, however, took originality to the extreme! There was not a single refresh joke in neither of the two categories (neither plain refresh nor originally refresh) which is great for a parody. 5/5

Entertainment: Watching (you know what I mean) Black overcoming his fear was pretty entertaining. Part of entertainment in my rules is building a picture in the reader’s mind with every word written in the text, and I can say the word “Playfish” brought a lot of pictures into my mind!(ewwwwww) 6/6

Grammar: Perfect as always. Everything is perfectly understandable, even when you use grammar errors to make a joke or to show the character’s personality. 3/3

Plot: Once again, a clear example of the time you put in every chapter. The plot is very clear here and there is no doubt as to what the chapter is about. 6/6

Overall: 20/20 = +A (100) perfect score!

yahoo! we almost catch up with gamefaqs! by the way, i wanted to help you out by pointing out something bad about this chapter, but i couldn't. its just too perfect!

Hey Grass, sorry I haven't commented in a while. I've been busy studying for my exams.

As for the chapter, I'd say it was....well....alright, I guess. It didn't really help much with the plot or the character development, but I think of it as a nice extra you put there since you didn't have any ideas for the Water Temple. The jokes were pretty good, and some of them made me laugh out loud, like the part where Sebastian suddenly came in out of nowhere and started singing 'Under the Sea'! That fishing pond must really suck, though, not having any costumer in seven years. That made me crack up.

However, I think that part with the Hylian Loach teaching Black how to overcome his fear of water felt a little rushed. I think you could've taken your time to add a little more jokes/detail into that part. Heck, it didn't even feel like Black learned any lesson. Maybe that's just me, though.

Nice ending, by the way. It's only once in a while when we could get an ending as unique and somewhat hilarious like that! I think you got inspired to make that ending by all the rants you got on GameFAQS about breaking the fourth wall. Am I right, or am I right?

So overall, that chapter was definately a good one. Pretty short, but still very entertaining. 8.9/10 for this one, Grass!

And just to let you know, I just read your latest chapter on GameFAQS. But I guess I'll save my review for later.....

Thanks for the inspiration. I should get started on my chapter now. Hopefully I'll see a comment from you soon.

Another great chapter, Grass, nice one!

What I liked: the fish, the playish stuff, the fact that this chapter was so much more relaxed than loads of others: fewer characters, less action.
What I didn't like: Black's getting over his fear of the water was a bit sudden and cliché, and there were a couple of OoC lines for him (for example, 'Ooh, what's that?' sounded a bit camp, considering Black is the tough one). Apart from that the character was spot on.
What you should improve on: End more chapters like that! Those last few lines were priceless.
Other comments: Is this the first chapter to only feature one of the three Links? I know White was missing for Dodongo's Cavern...

Overall Mark: 3.5/5 A very good, enjoyable chapter.

I love this so much, but I miss all the spam there was in the old thread, and Mr. Moblin!!!!
(the old one)
Good times good times.

Your chapters ever since the forest temple haven't been as funny. They are awesome though. Keep it up

Originally Posted by man_with_thooo

the chapter, I'd say it was....well....alright, I guess. It didn't really help much with the plot or the character development, but I think of it as a nice extra you put there since you didn't have any ideas for the Water Temple.

how can you think of this as an extra? I mean, it did help the plot because now Black doesn't have an excuse to not help the other links, which we all know is way better than having White and Yellow go through the whole thing without Black considering that Black is the muscle of the team (and yellow is an idiot)

I forgot to say that it opens up a lot of possibilities for jokes on the next chapter, I mean just think of the reactions the other links are going to have when they see Black in the water temple

What would be better:

Yellow Navi and White: Black?! What are you doing here?!

Black: …hi?

Navi: I thought you were afraid of water

Black: I was, but I got over it.

Or:

Yellow Navi and White: Black?! What are you doing here?!

Black: …hi?

Navi: I thought you were afraid of water

Black: I was, but a 35-pounds Hylian loach taught me to get overcome my fears. Unfortunately it couldn’t come because it got eaten by a cooker obsess with playfish models

Navi: playfish?

Yellow: its naughty magazines of fishes

Navi: and how do you know that?

Yellow: … so what rhymes with deku tree?

deku tree: shut up with that already

Navi: i thought you were dead...

Deku tree: oh yeah... *deads*

White: deads?

Navi: leave him alone, he's on weed again...

Originally Posted by alexome12

I love this so much, but I miss all the spam there was in the old thread, and Mr. Moblin!!!!
(the old one)
Good times good times.

dont get any funny ideas...

Black is the muscle of the team (and yellow is an idiot)...

That's my boy!

Grass, are you going to put the next chapter up here before you leave for vacation? It said on the gamefaqs thread that you were leaving, but there's another chapter you wrote on that thread...

Yeah, that chapter was pretty much a "filler" chapter. :]

alexome12- Like TRICKSTER said, don't get any ideas! >;]

So- I wanted to get this chapter in before I had left on vacation, but... I didn't. >_> So here it is now.

We're caught up to GameFAQs now ^.^






CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN: THE WATER TEMPLE- THE TOILET

The two brave explorers descend into the ancient Water Temple.

White: Wow, this place is huge!

Yellow: Yeah, and it’s almost all underwater! How weird!

White: Where should we go?

Navi: Hey, there are some doors and passageways underwater. Let’s go check it out!

Yellow: Cool!

The two brave explorers strap on their boots of iron and courageously plunge into the depths of the water. Will they be able to hold their breath long enough to survive the descent? Onl-

Yellow: Good thing we have these Zora Tunics, otherwise we’d drown.

White: Yeah!

…Oh. Nevermind.

White: Okay, where should we go first-woah!

Spike: *rolls towards White*

Out of nowhere, a terrifying monster appears! With dangerous spikes protruding from all sides of its spherical center, it will surely prove to be a great danger to our two brave explorers! How will they handle this threat?

Yellow: I’ll get it! *takes out Hookshot, tries to hit Spike but misses*

Navi: …Nice going.

The brave explorer clad in yellow clumsily fumbles around with an odd grappling device, and is unable to hit the enemy.

White: Say, are you noticing that-

Yellow: Hm, I think I need more practice with this Hookshot. Let’s just go into the next passage. This thing isn’t going to follow us or anything, it’s slow.

The two cowardly explorers, overcome by an insurmountable fear, decide to scurry off into the next passage rather than confront the dangerous enemy.

White: …Cowardly? …Okay, this is annoying. What the hell is up with the crappy narration over our heads all the time?

Yellow: Yeah, what’s your problem?

Wha- me? Nothing, just ignore me. Keep on doing your thing.

Navi: No, they’re right. What are you doing? It’s quite distracting.

Uh… well, I’m an aspiring author. I’m trying to write a really great book that’ll become the next bestseller! And I figured I could use your adventures here as inspiration of some sort.

White: …Really? That’s pretty cool.

Yeah, hopefully it turns out good. Problem is, I’m still not sure what kind of book I want to write… But I’m sure I’ll get it eventually.

Yellow: Hey, good luck with that!

Thanks. Now please continue… The two brave explorers trudge down a seemingly endless passag-

Navi: Okay, hold up. Why do you keep saying “two brave explorers”? Don’t I count?

…Okay, I’ll fix that. The two brave explorers and their whiny companion trudge down a se-

Navi: …Jerk.

White: Ignore him, Navi. Let’s continue…

Yellow: Oh, crap!

Ruto: Duh… hi!

As the two brave explorers and their companion walk through the underground passages, they encounter a stunning young Zora whose beauty and grace immediately captures their hearts! They are smitten with love!

Ruto: Duh… huh?

The young Zoran princess speaks with cute, flirtatious words. The brave explorers are overcome with love and cannot find the right words to express their feelings.

White: Piss off, moron.

…

Ruto: …Duh… I remember you guys! Huh… what’s up?

Yellow: Actually, your dad wanted to know what you were doing here.

Ruto: Uh… there’s like… scary monsters here… they were scary…

White: Oh, so, you were scared of the monsters here, so you decided to come here. That’s brilliant, Ruto.

The brave explorer clad in white resorts to sarcasm to hide his feelings for the Zoran princess.

White: What feelings? I don’t have any feelings for her! She’s a mental case!

The brave explorer’s cheeks turn red in embarrassment as he tries to deny his love for the Zoran princess.

White: …My cheeks are not red…

Navi: Ruto, why don’t you just go home? Your father’s worried and all.

Ruto: …Scary monsters fun! *swims upwards*

[i]The gorgeous princess flirtatiously swims away, leaving the two young explorers heartbroken.

White: …You are the crappiest author I’ve ever seen.

Yellow: Yeah, you suck, man.

What? I think it’s awesome! You guys have a crush on the princess! It brings a whole new level of excitement into the story! It’s a romance novel now!

White: We do NOT have a crush on that dummy!

Navi: Actually, I think it’s a great story. Keep it up!

Thanks!

White: Navi, what’s wrong with you?

Navi: *snickers*

White: …You’re mean. Anyways, I suppose we’d better head upwards, since there’s no place else to go.

Yellow: Okay.

The two brave explorers and their companion pursue the young Zoran beauty with hopes of acquiring her hand in marriage.

White: Moron, we’re not following her.

Yes you are! You’re going the same way she went.

White: That’s because there’s no place else to go!

Excuses, excuses.

White: …I swear, if you weren’t just italicized text, I’d kick your ass.

Yellow: Ah, we made it to the top!

The two brave explorers and their companion finally reach the top of the pool. To their dismay, the beautiful Zoran princess is nowhere to be found.

White: Good.

Navi: HEY LOOK LISTEN HEY HEY HO HO HEE HEE

White: …What?

Navi: There’s a triforce symbol over here!

The whiny, irritating companion demands attention from the two brave explorers using an ear-piercing screech of repetitive words. She then proceeds to point out a very obvious symbol on the wall.

Navi: …You’re mean!

Yellow: Hm… let’s try this. *plays Zelda’s Lullaby on Ocarina of Time*

Water Level: *sinks*

Wha- what just happened?

Yellow: I played a song in front of the symbol and the water level sank.

I see… let’s see what I can do with that…

White: …

…The brave explorer clad in yellow shows his musical prowess as he plays a beautiful, lilting melody in front of the ornate symbol on the wall. Suddenly, the water begins to sink with a large gushing sound!

White: I didn’t hear any gushing sounds…

It is then that the brave explorers realize that they are in a giant toilet!

White: …

Yellow: …

Navi: …

…Not bad, eh?

White: You’re an idiot.

Come on, it’s cool! It brings a level of fantasy in it!

Navi: No it doesn’t! It doesn’t make any sense!

Sure it does! That guy just activated the flushing mechanism, and all the water in this giant toilet flushed down!

White: That’s just so stu-

Yellow: HOLY CRAP! We’re in a TOILET? That’s DISGUSTING!

White: …Uh, dude, he’s making it up, he’s-

Yellow: Thank god I flushed it all down! Let’s go back down!

White: …Okay, let’s go.

The two brave explorers and their companion jump back down into the passageway, and walk along it until they reach the main area of the Water Toilet.

White: …Water Toilet?

Y’know, temple, toilet, same thing...

Navi: …

…I still think it’s a cool idea!

White: You’re dumb.

…SO, where will our explorers go next in their adventure?

Navi: Well, we should probably enter that center building.

…Yeah, uh, I wasn’t actually asking for an answer, I kinda wanted to leave the readers on a cliffhanger…

Navi: Tough.

…The two brave explorers and their companion enter the main building of the Water Toilet. What dangers and hazards will they have to face inside?

White: Probably none, this place seems-

Shut up!

White: …Yes sir.

Yellow: Hey, there’s a hookshot target up there! I guess I’d better give this a shot… *tries to hookshot onto ledge, misses*

The brave explorer clad in yellow once again attempts to utilize the grappling device, but is unable to do so due to sheer ineptitude.

Yellow: Ineptitude?

Incompetence.

Yellow: Incompetence?

It means you suck!

Yellow: …Sheesh. *tries to hookshot onto ledge, makes it* Finally! …Oh, another triforce symbol?

White: Go ahead and play Zelda’s Lullaby.

Yellow: Okay… *plays Zelda’s Lullaby*

Water Level: *rises*

The brave explorer uses the flushing mechanism of the Water Toilet to raise the water once again! The two explorers are now swimming in the toilet water!

Yellow: That’s GROSS! Get me outta here! *gets onto dry land*

The explorer clad in yellow, disgusted by the notion of being submerged in toilet water, scurries onto the nearest ledge.

White: Yellow, it’s not toilet water. Stop being so gullible! It’s just lake water!

The explorer clad in white, however, is comfortable with swimming in toilet water.

White: It’s not toilet water!

Yes it is!

Navi: Shut up, guys. We’re on the first level of the Water Temple now, so-

Water TOILET.

Navi: …Sure. Let’s see where we can go now.

The two brave explorers and their companion exit the main structure of the Water Toilet. What grand adventures await them? Only time will tell…

Awsome chapter, but I want it longer!!!

Anyways you get 98%... I took 2% off cause it is of course not perfect so yea....

And I ain't getting ideas but it was funny:

"OMG! Best Chapter Ever!"

Excellent chapter, nicely done.

What I liked: the italicised text was brilliant, how long is he gonna stay for? The 'Water Toilet' stuff was great as well. Maybe 'Toilet Temple' would sound better?
What I didn't like: the first few lines were very generic; no cliffhanger either. Just a few minor gripes.
What you should improve on: se above.
Other comments: Is Navi amphibious? Just wondering as she seeems fine, but doesn't have a Zora Tunic. Also, how about a Christmas spesh for the next chapter?

Great. I loved the italicized text. It reminds me of Jaca's parody. I would be funny if Morpha was actually causing trouble by clogging the Water Toilet. Anyway, as Wyvern said, maybe there could be a holiday special, such as Ganon's minions taking Christmas off.

Keep it up, and Happy Holidays Grass!

(Don’t flush the toilet yet, you might miss something!) I wonder what black will do when he finds out he has to get inside a giant toilet! Anyways, here is my review on chapter fifty-seven: The Water Temple- The Toilet.


Jokes: the jokes on this chapter weren’t quite funny as the ones on past chapters, but still very funny. There’s something you need to improve on, but it is not exactly in the story, it’s the title of the stories. The Water Temple- The Toilet is a weird, long name for a chapter. Try to make titles a little more ironic or funny or catchy or something. Instead of that title you could’ve used The Water Toilet since that’s the way the narrator calls the Water Temple, and it’s short, and a better title for it. 4/5


Entertainment: this chapter was pretty entertaining with the narrator narrating every step they made, and it was random and funny too. Overall, it was pretty entertaining, but the first lines of the chapter were a weak spot on the dialogue. After I read them, I was like, ok… WTH just happened here? Is the first time I see you doing a rush in your parody. I hope this is the first and last time you do that. 5/6


Grammar: there’s a first time for everything huh? You got something wrong here. A mistake on the italic text. Let me just point it out. Other than that, no other mistakes. 2/3

Originally Posted by Grass

[i]The gorgeous princess flirtatiously swims away, leaving the two young explorers heartbroken.

Plot: Please, be sure to give the characters a reason to explore the Water temple next time. I mean, the first lines of the story where they go underwater because it’s the first thing they see were just dumb. Yellow would do something like that, but white isn’t that dumb. For “Brave explores” like them, it would be a good idea to check around them before doing such a rush thing like that. 5/6

Overall: 16/20 = -B (80%)
Whoa… you got a perfect score from me last chapter and you get the lowest score from me on your chapters on the next chapter… that was unexpected. This was still a great chapter, but not nearly the best of all.

I thought it was fantastic! I don't post much, but I do always check for updates! This chapter was great- I loved the part about Navi being the "annoying comapnion"... that was awesome. I can't wait for Black to join them!

Have any idea when the next chapter will be up?

-M n' T

Thanks for the great feedback, guys, especially Wyvern and TRICKSTER- I totally didn't realize how generic those first few lines were. Gyuck! >_o

I think I fixed the problem in this next chapter.

(As for the "Christmas Special"... maybe later!)

Second chapter of the Water Temple. The way things are going, it's going to be a relatively short dungeon, but oh well.

Okay- this chapter turned out a bit more random than they usually do, so let's see how it turned out. :3

(Oh, and somebody mentioned the title wasn't witty enough, so I made this one especially... weird. >_> Enjoy!)



CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT: THE WATER TEMPLE, PART II – TRANSDIMENSIONAL TURDS

Toilet! Toilet, not Temple! Come on!

Uh, I’m the title of the chapter, buddy. You can’t tell me what to do.

…Fine.

White: Hm, where should we go next? There are two rooms we can get to now that the water level’s up- this one to the left, and this one to the right.

Yellow: Hm…

…Ooh! …Ahem. The two brave explorers and their companion decide to explore in the room to the right!

Yellow: Oh, we do? Okay, let’s go!

White: Wait, a second, no we don’t. We’re not letting that stupid author decide which way we’re going to go.

Yellow: Hm… okay, let’s go to this room into the left.

Heh… reverse psychology worked…

White: What was that?

Um… nothing!

White: …Sure.

…The two brave explorers and their companion head into a mysterious room, where they see several platforms with hookshot targets cycling down a dangerous waterfall!

White: Yikes!

In order to cross the room, our brave explorers must utilize their grappling device carefully! They have to grapple onto one platform, and then quickly grapple onto the other before their platform crashes and careens into the depths below as they fall to their deaths!

Yellow: Wow!

Heh… this is going to make a great segment in the book I’m writing!

Navi: This looks dangerous!

Will they make it? Will they have enough skill and bravery to traverse the hazardous-

White: Screw this, guys. Let’s go somewhere else.

Yellow: Yeah, I’m not good enough with the hookshot, and this looks scary!

…What? You guys are cowards!

White: No, we’re just smart enough to know we can’t make it across this room without dying.

Cowards!

Navi: Ignore him, guys, let’s go.

…The two cowards and their cowardly companion flee from the room with lots of cowardice!

White: Ooh, Mr. “Nobel Prize” author insulted us. I’m soooo sad.

Yellow: …He won a Nobel Prize? Congrats!

White: …Shut up.

Navi: Guys, let’s go over there in that room to the right this time.

White: Okay.

The two cowards and their companion cowardicely enter another room on the second floor of the Water Toilet.

White: Cowardicely isn’t a word…

…The two explorers find themselves in front of a mysterious pond, with a lone tree in the center.

White: Yeah, this doesn’t seem that dangerous.

It’s BORING. This isn’t exciting to write about.

Navi: We’re not here to satisfy your writing, okay? We’re here to rescue the Princess Ruto.

…Fine. …The two brave explorers and their companion cross the practically empty room, and exit-

Strong Iron Bars: *block the door*

…only to find that iron bars are blocking their way!

Strong Iron Bars: STRONG iron bars.

…Right, strong iron bars.

Navi: STRONG IRON BARS BLOCK THE DOOR

…Yes, I know.

Yellow: Oh, no! Strong iron bars are blocking the door!

I know!

White: …Say, did you guys notice these strong iron bars blocking the door?

SHUT UP! I know you’re just making fun of me now!

White: Oh, no, of course not, Mr. “Nobel Prize”.

Shut up! One day I’ll actually win the Nobel Prize for my book and then we’ll see who’s laughing!

White: …Right.

And, it doesn’t matter! Now that this room is locked, you’ll have to go back to the dangerous room! Hah!

Dark White: *falls from ceiling*

White: …Huh?

Dark Yellow: *falls from ceiling*

Dark Navi: *falls from ceiling*

Navi: Wh-who are you guys?

Dark Navi: …Oh, hello. We’re your versions of the Dark World. We traveled here from an alternate dimension.

You traveled here from an alternate dimension…?

Dark Navi: That’s right.

…I see. Let’s see what I can do with this, now… Ahem. The two brave explorers are shocked to see three oddly shaped turds fall out of the sky after being defecated from a giant butthole!

Dark Navi: …

White: That’s disgusting!

That’s going to get me a Nobel Prize!

White: For what, crappy writing?

Yellow: Heh… literally crappy.

And it fits in with the toilet theme! Okay- the three turds suddenly take shape and begin to do battle with the two brave explorers and their companion!

Dark White: Dude, are you calling us poop?

Yes.

Dark White: …Uh… and why did you say we were going to do battle with them? I don’t want to do battle.

Dark Yellow: Indeed, that would be most inconvenient. See, we just arrived here, and we’re not even completely sure what our purpose for coming here is, so if we could just gather some information and head back to our own world, I think we-

…They called you poop!

Dark Yellow: …What?

They were the ones that told me to call you guys poop! Honest!

Dark Yellow: Oh, be quiet. You’re just trying to provoke us into fighting wi-

Dark White: Dude! Why’d you guys call us poop?

Dark Yellow: …You’re so gullible.

White: This is weird.

Yellow: We didn’t call you poop!

The tension level rises to an unimaginable level, and soon our brave explorers are engaged in a fierce battle to the death with the three turds!

Dark White: Yaah! *shoots arrow at White*

White: *dodges* Why is this guy so gullible? He’s supposed to be my version in the Dark World. I’m not as stupid as this guy!

Dark White: Oh, I’m stupid now, huh? Take this! *shoots arrow*

White: *dodges*

Navi: I think your “versions” have the opposite personalities of you guys. That’s why Dark Yellow seems somewhat intellectual.

Yellow: I’m intellectual?

Dark Yellow: No, you moron, I am.

Yellow: …Oh! Hi, intellectual. Nice to meet you, I’m Yel-

Dark Yellow: *punches Yellow in the face*

Yellow: …Ow! *shoots Dark Yellow with arrow*

Dark Yellow: *dies*

White: *stabs Dark White with Master Sword*

Dark White: *also dies*

Navi: I’ll take on this one!

Dark Navi: This is going to be too easy. I’ve already identified your weak spot!

White: …Wow, Navi was right, these guys are the opposite personalities of us. Dark Navi is actually intelligent!

Navi: …Shaddup!

Dark Navi: *starts singing the soundtrack from High School Musical*

Navi: AAAAAUGH! *spasms*

Dark Navi: *sings “Get’cha Head in the Game”*

Epona: I HATE THAT SONG! *crashes into the Water Temple, eats Dark Navi*

White: …

Yellow: …

Navi: …Wow, thanks, Ep-

Epona: EW, I’M IN A TOILET! GROSS! SICK! *pees on the ground, runs away*

…The fierce battle is over, and our brave explorers have conquered the vile turds with the help of their brave stallion!

Strong Iron Bars: *no longer block the door*

…And the strong bars are no longer blocking the door!

Strong Iron Bars: Strong IRON Bars!

…Sorry, yeah, strong iron bars.

White: Hey, those strong iron bars are no longer blocking the door.

…Shut up! It’s not funny anymore!

White: What? I was just making an observation.

Navi: STRONG IRON BARS NO LONGER BLOCK TH-

White: *whacks Navi* Shut up. It’s not funny anymore.

Navi: …I was just making an observation!

Epona: STRONG IRON BARS NO LONGER- EW! I’M IN A TOILET! DISGUSTING! *poos on the ground, runs away*

Yellow: …Hurry up, guys, let’s go!

The two brave explorers enter the next room, still weary from the fierce battle.

Meanwhile, in Lake Hylia…

Shadowy Figure: *appears*

Black: What the heck is that?

Shadowy Figure: …Hi.

Black: …Wait, I just said that line two chapters ago. What’s going on?

Dark Black: I’m Dark Black. I’m from another dimension. Me and my two brothers traveled here from an alternate dimension.

Black: Really? That’s pretty co-

Chapter: *ends abruptly*

THIS CHAPTER WAS AWESOME!!! I have to find my rubric, becuae I will definately do a rubric for this chapter! I love the addition of the dark Links! Whoo!

Malo and Talo's Super-De-Duperty Grading Scale of Awesomeness!!!

Grammar: 5/5
Perfect again. What can I say about this one- I might just take it off the list.

Randomness: 4/5
The water toilet in general is random- but this chapter was very plot oriented, which means that there wasn't much randomness. I do like how the plot is moving, but maybe it could've been longer with more randomness.

Jokes: 5/5
I love the part about the nobel prize and expeccialy about the STRONG IRON BARS! At first I was afraid you would overuse it, but twice with everyone saying it proved to be enough.

Yellow (and Dark Yellow): 5/5
Perfect chemistry! I loved how Dark Yellow's first line was something so smart- I knew they would be polar opposites of the real Links!

White (and Dark White): 5/5
This time White had to take over the sadistic and sarcastic remarks, becuase Black wasn't there. Overall, though, I still think he was a good character thsi time! I thought Dark White was funnier, though- being all gullible about the water toilet. He and Yellow would be fast friends if he wasn't stabbed by White... shame.

Black: 5/5 (He was barely in it, so a 5)
There was an appalling lack of Black! It brought a tear to my eye, and yet... it's aight.

Supporting Characters: 5/5
The dark Link do this category justice. 'Nough said.

34/35- very good score, Grass. I'm gonna grade a little harder and try not only to give you the praise you deserve but also constructive critisism. Can't wait 'til the next chapter!

Hahahaha! I love how the dark Links (and Navi) are opposites. Dark White is stupid, Dark Yellow is intelligent, and Dark Navi is useful. Maybe Dark Black is a pacifist? I love how Dark Navi sang the soundtrack from High School Musical. I hate that movie too! Maybe there could be a Dark Epona?

Oh, and guys, I might be gone for a while. I'm going to Disneyworld for the Christmas break, and my Dad is likely going to be too cheap to pay for the Wifi. Anyway, Happy Holidays!

(together, together, together everyone, together, together, c’mon lets have some fun… oh sorry… ahem…) I didn’t really love that high school musical movie, there were some catchy songs, but the acting sucked. Anyways, here is my review on chapter fifty-eight: The Water Temple, part II- Transdimensional turds

Jokes: Man this chapter was funny! The last chapter started weak on the first lines, but this chapter had me rolling on the floor laughing as soon as it started! Having the narrator fighting with the title was a great idea to start this chapter. You did fix the problem with the title on this chapter. It’s a short catchy title and it fits perfectly. Epona is doing a good job keeping up the randomness here, and this time she appeared to eat Dark Navi because she HATED the song Dark Navi was playing. That’s new, and really random (if she was grossed out because she was in a toilet, just wait until she finds out what she ate!) And let’s not forget Navi’s weak spot, that almost made throw up of so much laughing! (I’m still a little sick so I can’t laugh too much or I’ll start coughing) 5/5

Entertainment: Once again, just like the “playfish” thing, the narrator in this story built a lot of pictures in my mind. It was fun to see how Dark Yellow is actually smart while the real Yellow (our Yellow) doesn’t even know what intellectual is. There were no weak spots in the dialogue this time, and that's great! 6/6

Grammar: grammar is perfect once again. 3/3

Plot: At first, I didn’t really like the narrator idea, but you’ve changed my mind. Now I think the narrator narrating every step our heroes make in this temple is a great idea. This has been done before though (the narrator fighting with the characters has already been done in another parody here in ZU) so you better stay original with this thing. I liked the way this chapter ended, you should use a lot more of cliffhangers in your chapters. 6/6

Overall 20/20 = +A (100%) Perfect score!

Nice chapter. I can’t wait to see what Black will do against this Dark Black guy (Dark Black? Sounds odd doesn’t it?) (have you notice how I always edit this things? Man there's ALWAYS something I forget to mention...)

Happy holidays, TW64

TRICKSTER- Thanks for the perfect score! The other parody you're talking about- is it jaca's? I've never actually read his, in fact, I should get around to that. I've heard it's good. :]

Okay, here's a next chapter. I've got to go to bed so I leave you with absolutely no comments (for once!) Enjoy!


CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE: THE WATER TEMPLE, PART III – UNCERTAIN DEATH

Black: …As I was saying, before I got rudely cut off by the chapter…

Chapter: Yeah, sorry about that.

Black: …I was going to say, “That’s pretty cool”.

Dark Black: Yeah, except I’m not too sure how or why we came here… it’s kinda creepy.

Black: I see… Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got to go help out my brothers in that Water Temple.

Dark Black: Wh-wh- you’re going to go underwater?

Black: Yeah… I used to be scared of going underwater, actually, but I got over it.

Dark Black: Hm… we must be kinda opposites then… I used to love swimming, but then a fish almost drowned me and now I can’t even imagine going underwater!

Black: Oh… that’s gotta suck.

Dark Black: Yeah… I guess it’s just one of my many fears now… I’ve got a lot of phobias, to tell the truth.

Black: ….Yeah, we must be opposites… Well, I’ve got to go. I’ll catch up with you later, I guess.

Dark Black: Wait- are you going to leave me alone with those… things?

Black: What things?

Dark Black: Those… terrible, horrifying beasts right over there!

Beast 1: Hey! I may be terrible, but I’m not horrifying!

Beast 2: And I may be horrifying, but I’m not terrible!

Beast 1: …Aw, darling, you complete me.

Beast 2: *kiss*

Beast 1: *kiss*

Black: …Yeah, that is pretty weird.

Dark Black: No, not those, those things over there! *points*

Black: …Dude, those are scarecrows.

Dark Black: I know! They’re creepy!

Black: …I’ll say it again. They’re SCARECROWS. Nothing to be scared of!

Dark Black: Really? Then why do they have the word “scare” in their name, huh? Huh?

Black: Because they scare CROWS. Are you a crow?

Dark Black: Crows? Where? I hate crows! *hides*

Black: …Wow, you’re a complete wimp. See ya later. *dives down to the Water Temple*

Epona: …Hey, don’t worry about it, I got scared by the scarecrows when I saw them too.

Dark Black: …You did? Thanks, horsie! I guess I’m not the only one-

Epona: …did you just call me horsie?

Dark Black: …Uh, I guess so, ye-

Epona: *kicks Dark Black in the face*

Dark Black: OW! You’re a vicious horse! …Great, now I’m scared of horses too!

Epona: Horses?! Where?! *runs away*

Dark Black: …Phew…

Meanwhile, in the Water Temple…

The two brave explorers have uncovered a hidden treasure in the water toilet! The explorer clad in white majestically opens the chest, and his face brightens with joy as he reveals the treasure inside!

White: …Oh, joy, another hookshot.

Navi: This is a longshot! It’s longer than a hookshot!

White: I never would’ve guessed… Here, take it, Yellow.

Yellow: *puts Longshot in pocket* Thanks, let’s head out of here.

The two brave explorers and their companion head back to the main room of the Water Toilet.

White: Hm… there’s the next water level changing triforce symbol thingamajigger…

Yellow: You mean, toilet flushing device.

White: …Whatever. How do we get all the way up there, though?

The two brave explorers cannot figure out how to reach the toilet flushing device, which is located on a higher ledge.

Yellow: …Ooh, I’ve got an idea! *plays Scarecrow’s Song*

Scarecrow Slave: *appears* …Whaddya want?

Yellow: Hey, go stand on that ledge, okay?

Scarecrow Slave: Oh, hell no! I’m not doing that! You’re just going to grapple into my chest again! That hurt like hell last time!

Yellow: No, no, we’re not going to do that!

Scarecrow Slave: Really? Then why do you want me to stand up there?

Yellow: Because… uh… we wanna take your picture?

Scarecrow Slave: Really? With what camera?

Yellow: Uh… it’s a secret?

Scarecrow Slave: …Moron. I’m outta here.

Yellow: Wait! What if we grapple onto the wooden post that you’re attached to? Will you feel pain?

Scarecrow Slave: …Actually, no. Only the straw part of my body feels anything. If you can do that, that’s fine. *stands on the ledge*

The explorer clad in yellow summons a slave made of straw, and instructs him to stand on the ledge. The slave begs for mercy, but the ruthless explorer refuses to cave in.

Yellow: Hey, shut up! We made a compromise! It’s okay!

Sure, right, a “compromise”. You’re just a slave driver.

Yellow: Am not! He agreed to it! …Whatever, here goes. *aims longshot at wooden post, accidentally misses, grapples onto Scarecrow Slave’s face

Scarecrow Slave: AUGGGGH!

Yellow: *lands on ledge* Made it!

Scarecrow Slave: YOU MORON! You grappled that stupid longshot thing right in my FACE! IT HURTS!

Yellow: …Oh, sorry.

Scarecrow Slave: THAT’S ALL YOU CAN SAY? Don’t you REALIZE? I’m permanently disfigured for life now! I’m going to be an ugly, physically deformed scarecrow forever!

Navi: It’s not like you were particularly good looking before, y’know.

White: Yeah, actually, the huge dent in your face is an improvement.

Scarecrow Slave: YOU GUYS SUCK! *disappears*

The explorer clad in yellow grapples onto the higher ledge, physically deforming the slave in the meantime. The poor slave howls in agony, but the explorers are indifferent to his pain.

Yellow: ...*plays Zelda’s Lullaby in front of Triforce symbol*

Water Level: *rises*

White: Awesome, now we can reach that next door. Let’s go!

The two brave explorers and their companion enter the next room, where they find a raging river with several dangerous whirlpools that would lead to certain death!

White: What? Another dangerous room?

Yellow: Forget it, let’s go back!

You guys can’t run away forever! You have to do this one! There’s no other place to go!

Yellow: But you said those whirlpools led to certain death! I don’t want to go to certain death!

Certain Death: Why not? I’ve got cookies!

Yellow: No way!

Certain Death: And milk!

Yellow: …I said no!

Certain Death: …Hot cocoa?

Yellow: …With marshmallows?

Certain Death: …Uh, sure!

Yellow: Big or small?

Certain Death: …Small!

Yellow: Aw, I hate the small ones!

Certain Death: Damnit!

Yellow: White, Navi, let’s just find another room, okay?

Navi: Actually, Mr. “Nobel Prize” is right. I looked at the map, and it says this is the only room we can go right now.

Yellow: Aw, man!

White: …Wait. Since when do we have a map of this place?

Navi: …Now that you mention it, this is just a scrap of paper with messy crayon writing that says, “This is the only room you can go right now”.

Yellow: …It must be a fake!

White: …Yeah, duh… I wonder who gave us a false map, though?

Certain Death: *whistles innocently*

Navi: …Look, guys, let’s just go down this river, okay? We may find something we need. If Black was here, he’d be brave enough to go, right?

White: That’s because Black’s an idiot.

Yellow: He is brave, though!

White: …Well, okay… let’s give it a shot!

The two brave explorers and their companion courageously leap into the raging river of doom! They are swept by the furious current and struggle against the forces of the hazardous whirlpools!

White: Ack! This is hard!

Yellow: Shoot! I almost got sucked in by that whirlpool!

Navi: Gee, this is so easy! I don’t understand why you think this is so- oh, that’s right, you guys can’t FLY! AHAHAHAHAHA!

White: …Navi, if we make it on shore, I’m tossing you straight into the whirlpool.

Navi: AHAHAHAHA- oh.

The two brave explorers triumphantly reach the opposite shore, narrowly escaping the dangers of the raging river!

Yellow: Sweet, we did it!

White: Yeah, awesome! Let’s head down this path now.

The two brave explorers and their companion walk down a stone passageway.

Yellow: …Hey, Mr. “Nobel Prize”! Wanna hear a joke?

Sure!

Yellow: Okay… what rhymes with Deku Tree?

Hm… I dunno, what?

Yellow: De-

Navi: Look! A chest!

…The explorer clad in yellow attempts to relate a joke to break the tension of the atmosphere, but he is rudely interrupted by the whiny, annoying companion.

Navi: …Oh, sorry about that, please continue.

Yellow: Okay, it’s De-

White: Hey, a chest!

Yellow: …Forget it.

Aw… ahem! …The two brave explorers and their companion approach the chest in the distance.

Navi: Wow! A big, yellow chest embroidered with an ornate blue pattern!

White: Wow! There’s a huge sign next to it that says, “Boss Key”!

Yellow: Wow! I just realized what incompetent means!

Navi: …

White: …

Yellow: …The author guy called me incompetent a while ago, and now I get it. That was mean!

…Whatever. …What treasure lies in this highly decorated chest at the end of the river? What will our brave explorers find hidden inside?

White: …A boss key.

…Aw, way to ruin the surprise!

White: What surprise? There’s a sign right there that says-

I wanted to build the suspense! …You just don’t understand literature!

White: …Right. Let’s just get this Boss Key and head to the boss before Ruto gets there and gets herself killed or something. *opens chest*

Riddleman: *snores*

White: Riddleman?!

Dun: *dun* DUN!

That was funny, as always.

I don't understand why Mr. Nobel Price calls Yellow "explorer clad in yellow", he isn't clad in yellow, he is wearing the blue tunic.

Very, very good, Grass! That is what I like to see! I definitely liked the certain death bits and with Dark Black- he's hilarious! Maybe Yellow will have some compition for my favorite character! Keep up the great work! Oh, yeah- by the way, I like the newer, more descriptive/random titles!

-M 'n T