(com)OOT Parody - 3x Link [T]

Here's an example of what I meant:

Pink: BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!

It would look better if it was

Pink: BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!

It makes it look more like there is actual murder, rather than some random kid screaming.

Wow, this story is awesome. I seriously just spent hours reading all the way from chapter 1 to what you have done here. Its amazing. Keep up the awesomeness. You are full of win.

I'd do a rubric or something, but it would pretty much be the same as Malo and Talo's. Keep it up! Also I have two questions. One, why did you post the first chapter again? And two, since Riddleman was roasted by Volvagia, is he gone forever? I hope not...

Originally Posted by Smeezette

Here's an example of what I meant:

Pink: BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!

It would look better if it was

Pink: BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!

It makes it look more like there is actual murder, rather than some random kid screaming.

Hey, that's pretty good. You're right!

I'll start trying that out come chapter 56- the chapters I'm posting right now have already been made, so I'm not going to fix those, but I think I'll try your ideas with the ones I'm writing now. (If that makes sense >.>) Anyways, thanks for the idea!

Originally Posted by Twilightwolf64

I'd do a rubric or something, but it would pretty much be the same as Malo and Talo's. Keep it up! Also I have two questions. One, why did you post the first chapter again? And two, since Riddleman was roasted by Volvagia, is he gone forever? I hope not...

I posted the first two chapters so that new readers could get a little preview of the parody, to see if they were interested. Then I had the rest of the chapters available for download and I skipped to chapter 47.

As for Riddleman- remember, he did get exported out of Limewire from Jabu-Jabu. Miracles can happen...



This is chapter 48. Expect daily updates until we catch up to GameFAQs. :] (Then, updates will be coming in once every millenium >.>)

Reminder: Post with a rubric or constructive comments, saying BOTH what you liked, and what you didn't like, and giving suggestions and comments and all that. So far, so good with the posting, so let's keep it up! ^_^



CHAPTER FOURTY-EIGHT: THE FIRE TEMPLE, PART IV

The four exit the Survivor Room and enter a Jeopardy! room.

Announcer: Ah, are you three participants for our Jeopardy! game?

White: Uh, sure-

Navi: Hold on, what’s first prize?

Announcer: Hm? We give cash money in prizes. But you can use your money to buy a prize at the end.

Navi: Is one of the prizes a Goron?

Announcer: Yeah, one of them is, actually.

Navi: Alright, we’re in. Good luck, guys.

Announcer: You three will be on a team?

White: Yup.

Announcer: Alright, cool. You’ll be up against Volvagia… he’s a bit late, though…

White: Shocking.

Announcer: *glances at watch* Well, it’s time to start the show, I don’t want to be running late… Okay, folks, welcome to Jeopardy!!

Torch Slugs: *applause*

White: What’s with the two exclamation ma-

Announcer: We have our three contestants on one team here, and their contestant, Volvagia, isn’t here yet… Oh, here he comes!

Volvagia: *comes running in, panting* Phew! Sorry I’m late, I had to take a piss, but there weren’t any urinals around, so I pissed in the lava, and that made it cool and harden, and that kinda annoyed the Torch Slugs, so I had to return it to normal, and pay a fine, but I didn’t have any money on me, but- wait, what game is this?

Announcer: …Jeopardy!.

Volvagia: Oh, right, Jeopardy.

Announcer: No, it’s Jeopardy!.

Volvagia: That’s what I said, isn’t it?

Announcer: No, there’s an exclamation mark at the end of Jeopardy!.

Volvagia: …How do I pronounce an exclamation mark?

Announcer: Just kinda emphasize the last syllable, like-

Black: Hey, you morons wanna hurry up a little?

Announcer: …Hm, somebody’s impatient today… Okay, I’m sure you guys know the format. Volvagia, you start first- you’ll chose a category and the level of difficulty, and I’ll ask the question. Whoever gets it right first can show us their answer- write your answer in the form of a question. For example, if I say “The great fiery dragon who resides in the Fire Temple”, you would respond, “Who is Volvagia”?

Volvagia: I’m Volvagia.

Announcer: …I know.

Volvagia: Then why’d you ask?

Announcer: I was just expla-

Volvagia: Ooh, are you asking me out? You shameless flirt!

Announcer: …Look, do you know how to play Jeopardy!?

Volvagia: Of course.

Announcer: Good. Go ahead and choose a category.

Volvagia: Hm… I’ll take “Forces of Evil” for 400 Rupees.

Announcer: Okay… The current “King of Evil” who duped a bunch of dumb kids seven years ago into opening the Sacred Realm for him.

Black: Dumb kids? I’m gonna kick your worthless little-

Yellow: *presses buzzer*

Announcer: Ah! What’s your answer, team?

Yellow: What rhymes with Deku Tree?

Announcer: …Hm, I don’t know, what?

Yellow: D-

Announcer: Wait, wait, why are you asking me this?

Yellow: Uh, you said to respond with a question, so I’m asking you-

Announcer: No, you idiot, not like that. Nevermind… Volvagia, what is your answer?

Volvagia: Who is Ganondorf?

Announcer: …You don’t know who GANONDORF is? HAHAHA!

Volvagia: …No, I know who he is, I’m asking because-

Announcer: Because you’re an idiot, that’s why! Seriously, where have you been these past seven years, living under a rock?

Volvagia: …Well, technically speaking, Death Mountain is really just one big slab of rock, so yes, I have been-

Announcer: You’re so stupid! You don’t even know who Ganondorf is!

Volvagia: Shut up! You told me to answer like that, so I-

Announcer: You complete moron! You’re soooo d-

Volvagia: *eats Announcer*

Announcer: *eaten*

Volvagia: …Hm, better than that little scrawny kid.

Mido: Hey! I may not have as much meat on me, but I’m juicier and-

Digestive Fluids: *digest*

Mido: OW!

Understudy: …Ohmigod, you ate the Announcer!

Volvagia: I sure did. He was beginning to piss me off…

White: Boy, this game is fun.

Understudy: That means… *flips through rule book* in his absence, I have to take his place! *hyperventilates*

Volvagia: Uh, okay…

Understudy: Okay, everyone, uh, welcome to Jeopardy. I’ll be the new announcer, heh, and I-

Volvagia: Hey, you mispronounced it. It’s “Jeopardy!”, not “Jeopardy”.

Understudy: …*flips through rule book* Oh no, you’re right! *sobs* First day on the job and I already screwed up!

Volvagia: Hey, don’t worry. I didn’t pronounce it right the first time either.

Understudy: …How do you pronounce an exclamation mark, anyways?

Volvagia: Just kinda emphasize the last syllable, like-

White: Yo, we’re in a hurry. Can we just take that Goron over there and leave?

Understudy: …Sure, bye. Thanks for playing Jeopardy?

Volvagia: No, no, that’s a question mark. Try again.

Understudy: Hm…

Goron: yo watup

Yellow: Hi, you’re free.

Goron: …nowai

Yellow: …yawai

Goron: srsly? awsum, lol thx

Yellow: No problem, see ya.

Goron: …no wait i have sumting 2 tell u to help u out n stuf

Black: What is it?

Goron: hm… dunno

Black: What do you mean, “dunno”?

Goron: o srry, i ment “I don’t know”

Black: …Okay, well, bye.

Goron: no, no ill rmbmr… i tink

White: Could you hurry?

Goron: ya ya… hm…

White: …

Goron: hm…

Black: …

Goron: hm……………………….

Yellow: You know, it’s considered bad etiquette to use more than three periods in an ellipsis.

Goron: srry, i cnt count well

Black: Hurry up and remember!

Goron: …o i no!

Black: What?

Goron: if u hit a wall w/ ur swrod, it maeks a sound

Black: Really? What about when I hit you with my sword? Will you make a sound?

Goron: idk lol

Black: *hits Goron with sword*

Goron: *silently rolls away*

Black: …Well, what do you know.

Yellow: Not much, actually.

Black: …Everyone’s an idiot today…

White: Come on, we have just one more Goron to free.

Navi: Let’s ask him… Hey, do you know where the next game show is?

Employee: Uh… yeah, the Tri-Challenge game. It’s actually right over that wall, but to actually get there, you gotta walk about a mile… or take the bus.

Navi: How long does it take to get there with the bus?

Employee: A couple hours.

White: What kinda dumb bus is that? It takes a couple hours to go one mile?

Employee: Well, it’s not so much a bus as it is a sleigh pulled by a bunch of lazy and underpaid Torch Slugs.

White: …I think we’ll walk.

Employee: Er, good luck. It starts in about two minutes and they don’t let anyone in after that. I gotta go, see ya. *leaves*

White: Oy, that sucks.

Navi: Hm… that’s not good… if only there was some way we could blast through this wall…

Yellow: Yeah, but that’s impossible.

Navi: Yeah, you’re right, unless we had bombs or something.

Yellow: Heh, good one.

Navi: …White, use your bombs to blast through the wall before I get an ulcer.

White: *checks bomb bag* Oh, crap, I only have one left! How’d that happen?

Black: Hm, we can’t afford to waste a bomb unless we know the wall is bombable…

Yellow: *hits left section of the wall with sword*

Wall: *nothing*

Black: …what are you doing?

Yellow: I’m following that Goron’s sage advice. *hits middle section of wall with sword*

Wall: *does nothing*

Yellow: *hits right section of wall with sword*

Wall: OW! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? THAT’S WHERE I GOT A BRUISE LAST SUNDAY FROM PLAYING RUGBY! CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? ARE YOU, LIKE, TOTALLY BLIND OR SOMETHING, OR ARE YOU JUST SOME INSENSITVE CLOD THAT GOES AROUND HITTING PEOPLE WHERE THEY’RE SENSITIVE AND TAKE SADISTIC PLEASURE IN WATCHING THEM SUFFER? I SWEAR, IF I HAD A NICKLE FOR EVERY TIME THAT PEOPLE DID THAT TO ME, I’D HAVE… well, I’d have five cents… heh… anyways, JUST GO AWAY, YOU STUPID, INSENSITVE, SADISTIC, EVIL-

Yellow:Hm, this section of the wall makes a funny sound. Hey, try bombing here.

White: *bombs the right section*

Wall: *crumbles*

White: Ooh, nice. I can see the next game show, too!

Navi: Nice going. Let’s go!

The four enter the Tri-Challenge room.

Report card on this chapter is in!

Grammar: Why do I bother asking? 5/5

Yellow: He answered the question with "What rhymes with Deku Tree?"! 5/5

Black: He didn't have many lines 3/5

White: He has the sarcasm I love, but he could have appeared more... 4/5

Randomness: The whole Jeopardy!, not Jeopardy thing was great. And the screaming wall! 5/5

Supporting Characters: Volvagia is great! He's always late, and ends up eating or roasting someone. And he's an idiot! 5/5

All in all, I give this a 4/5.

Keep it up, Grass!

screaming wall = random, jeopardy! not jeopardy problem = random, and yellow the totally dumb guy correcting a goron with his grammar = hilarious! This chapter was very original, and I love it when you get original! That's why I love your parody so much, It's just too original, others just have refresh jokes... This chapter = 5/5 (I wish I could say more, but I'm still laughing!)

I've naught to say, so here's chapter fourty-nine. Fire Temple's over, hurrah!

CHAPTER FOURTY-NINE: THE FIRE TEMPLE, PART V

The four enter the Tri-Challenge room.

Announcer: Hey! You three, you’re late! Hurry up!

White: Wha- oh, right, sorry.

Announcer: You’re going to be on a team?

White: Yeah, yeah.

Announcer: Good. …Okay, now that our contestants are here, we can finally start the Tri-Challenge game! Let me explain the rules. There will be three challenges, randomly selected by me. Our participants will try to beat one another in these challenge, and whoever wins gains a point! If someone wins two challenges out of three, they win the grand prize! And the losers will have to…

White: Hey, where’s our opponent, Volvagia?

Announcer: Hm? Oh, Volvagia’s not your opponent, that Goron over there is.

Goron: hi

White: …Oh, uh…

Announcer: Anyways, the losers will be sacrificed to Volvagia, and the gruesome death will be caught on tape!

Black: What the hell?

Yellow: That’s good television.

Announcer: Let’s get started. The first challenge is… *draws card* Ah, the Grand Race! One participant from each team will race down a straight track with no twists or turns. They can attempt to push one another off the track, provided that they don’t leave the track themselves. Get ready, teams!

Goron: lol im da only 1 on my teem so ill go

White: I’ll handle this one.

Navi: Wait! Remember, the loser of all these gets sacrificed to Volvagia.

White: I know, I won’t lose.

Navi: But you have to lose! We’re here to save the Gorons, so you guys have to lose on purpose!

Black: What? I don’t want to be eaten by that stupid dragon!

Navi: Yeah, but you guys can fight it can’t you?

Black: Eh…

Navi: Look, just do it, okay?

White: …Man, alright.

Announcer: On your mark… get set… go!

White: *does nothing*

Goron: …y u no move

White: Uh, my leg hurts. You go on ahead and win the race.

Goron: …lol r u tryn 2 pull sum kinda sickiljcal trik on me?

White: Sickilijcal?

Goron: yknow, messin w/ my mind or sumtin

White: Oh, psychological trick… no, no, my leg really hurts, just go!

Goron: lol im nto falin 4 ur tricks, im gonna stay rite here until you move

White: Oh, come on…

Announcer: The two participants are racing neck to neck! It’s a fierce competition, and it’s unclear as to who will be the victor- but it’s going to be close!

Navi: Wow.

Fifteen minutes later…

White: Will you PLEASE go ahead?

Goron: hay im not dum k? i no ur tryn 2 do some siclagical tric on me i bet as soon as i go ur gonna beat me up or somting

White: Hm… okay, we’ll go together, okay?

Goron: k

White: One… two… three!

Goron: *runs towards the finish line*

White: *does nothing*

Goron: *stops an inch before the finish line* o i c watz goin on heer ur trickin me! *walks back*

White: I swear, you are the stupidest little-

Goron: nice try lol, but i dun fall 4 ur trix

Kids: SILLY GORON, TRIX ARE FOR KIDS

White: …Okay, that’s it. *whacks Goron on the head with Master Sword*

Goron: *falls unconscious*

White: *rolls Goron to the finish line*

Announcer: And the Goron is the victor!

White: About time. What’s the next challenge?

Announcer: *draws card* Ah, the Grand Punch-Out! Each participant must only use his fists to knock the other person out!

Black: I’ll do it.

Goron: *wakes up* lol wat happand

Announcer: Ready, set, go!

Goron: lolwut

Black: It’s a punch-out. We have to punch each other.

Goron: o

Black: *punches Goron lightly*

Goron: *falls unconscious*

Navi: Black, what are you doing? I said to lose!

Black: But- I- I hit him really lightly! That shouldn’t have done anything!

Announcer: It looks like we have a- oh, maybe not!

Goron: *stands up* haha i wuz fakin cuz i wnatd 2 do a sycholgcal trick on u

Black: What? You scared me, you moron! *punches Goron*

Goron: *falls unconscious*

Navi: Black, what is wrong with you?

Black: Er… ah… sorry…

Announcer: And this team is the winner! The two teams are tied one to one, meaning we have to break the tie with one more event! And that event is… *draws card* The Grand Eating Competition!

White: Why’s everything so “grand”?

Yellow: Ooh! My turn! I’ll definitely lose in this one!

Goron: *wakes up* wat we doin?

Yellow: Eating competition.

Announcer: Each participant must eat as many hamburgers as they can within the time limit! The winner of this is the winner of the whole thing! And… start!

Yellow: *does nothing*

Goron: *does nothing*

Yellow: Why aren’t you eating anything?

Goron: o I dun eat meet

Yellow: …Oh, come on…

Goron: srry u can win dis one

Yellow: This isn’t good… Here, why don’t you just eat the buns? That’s just bread; no meat.

Goron: i dun eat bred either

Yellow: What the hell do you eat?

Goron: rocks

Yellow: …how about those sesame seeds on the bun? Those are rocks.

Goron: srsly? ill try *eats sesame seed* no, it duznt tast liek rock, srry

Announcer: Times up! And the Goron wins, eating a whole sesame seed while the other team didn’t even manage to do that!

Torch Slugs: *applause*

Goron: …huh

Announcer: And here’s your prize- a beautiful golden statue worth at least 1000 rupees!

Goron: *eats statue*

Announcer: …

Goron: cudve used some peppr, i think

Announcer: …

Goron: anyway thx, cya *rolls away*

Announcer: …And now, the losers will be fed to the great dragon Volvagia!

Yellow: Cool.

White: Can we run away now?

Black: No! Let’s fight this guy!

White: It’s a dragon. And it ate Darunia.

Black: Still, we can beat it!

Navi: Actually, you’ll probably get eaten.

Black: …thanks.

Announcer: Just step into this door, please.

The four enter Volvagia’s chamber

White: So… where’s Volvagia?

Black: Dunno, probably late as usual.

White: Well, this is going to be fun. I’ve always wondered how it felt to be digested.

Mido: It sucks ass.

White: …where’d you come from?

Mido: Heaven.

White: Seriously? I can’t believe it!

Mido: Yeah, I’m dead. But that is nice of you to be worried about me!

White: Huh? No, I can’t believe you went to heaven and not hell, after all the crap you did to us.

Mido: …Screw you. *floats back to Heaven*

Yellow: …So, you know what rhymes with Deku Tree?

Black: What?

Yellow: D-

Volvagia: *comes running in, panting* Phew! Sorry I’m late, the game went into overtime and I was-

White: We don’t care.

Volvagia: …Anyways, what am I supposed to do, eat you?

Black: Yeah, but do it in a cool way. We’re being videotaped.

Volvagia: Oh, seriously? Like, on TV?

Black: Yup.

Volvagia: Woah! Uh, what should I do?

Black: Hm… I’ve got an idea. Fly around for a while, breathing fire randomly, but not at us, then fly up into the sky and knock down boulders from the ceiling. Then go into one of those fiery holes and come back out, looking at us stupidly for about five seconds. Then fly back up and repeat the pattern until we die, then eat us. Sounds good?

Volvagia: Hey, that sounds great! Nice idea. *flies up into the sky*

Black: Don’t forget to breathe fire randomly!

Volvagia: Oh yeah, thanks! *breathes fire randomly*

Navi: This is so dumb…

Volvagia: *knocks boulders down*

Boulders: *knocked down*

Volvagia: *dives into the fiery pit, comes back up*

Black: White, hit him with the Megaton Hammer!

White: Huh- oh, yeah! I almost forgot about that! *raises hammer over head*

Muslim 1: Stop!

White: …Oh, not you again.

Muslim 1: You there, dragon! Are you the owner of this place?

Volvagia: Uh, kinda, I guess. Why?

Muslim 1: We demand on behalf of all Muslims that you remove the chanting from the background music of this place!

Muslim 2: It’s simply outrageous!

Volvagia: Chanting? Wha- oh, that. What’s it to you?

Muslim 1: It’s in our language, and it’s an insult to us!

Volvagia: Woah, the chant in the music is insulting your religion?

Muslim 1: No, it’s praising our god.

Volvagia: Oh.

Muslim 1: …but that’s not acceptable!

Muslim 2: It’s outrageous!

Koji Kondo: What’s this about the music?

Muslim 1: Ah, you’re the one who designs the soundtracks for everything, right?

Koji Kondo: Yup.

Muslim 1: Then I demand that you remove this chanting from the music! It’s an insult to our religion!

Muslim 2: Outrageous!

Koji Kondo: *sigh* Shigeru, baby?

Shigeru Miyamoto: Yes, honey?

Koji Kondo: There are some people here who don’t like the music.

Shigeru Miyamoto: …Not you guys again!

Muslim 1: Yes, it’s us again! The amount of effort you put into insulting our religion is outrageous!

Muslim 2: Simply outrageous!

Koji Kondo: Shigeru, they’re insulting my music. Will you please take care of them, sugar-plum?

Shigeru Miyamoto: Anything for you, sweetie-pie. *kiss*

Black: Uh… what the hell?

Shigeru Miyamoto: *deletes Muslims from the game*

Muslim 1: *deleted*

Muslim 2: *deleted*

Shigeru Miyamoto: That should be the last of them. You guys go on and do whatever you were doing.

White: Right, thanks.

Volvagia: Uh, what were we doing again?

White: This. *raises Megaton Hammer over head

Goron 2: wait!!

White: …What the hell do you want?

Goron 2: hi rmbmr me i said i wuz gonna giv u advice a wile back but den i 4got and said id do it l8r?

White: …Well, what is it? We’re in a hurry.

Goron 2: kk listen, the only wai 2 defeet volvaga is w/ the megaton hammar

White: …Gee , I totally never thought of that before. I totally wasn’t just about to do that, y’know, I was just holding the hammer in this pose over Volvagia’s head because I wanted to stretch my arms. Thanks for the advice, man.

Goron 2: ur welcome *leaves*

Volvagia: …Sorry, what did he say?

White: To do this. *smashes Volvagia with Megaton Hammer*

Volvagia: *dies*

White: Woo.

Blue Light: *appears*

Heart Container: *appears*

The three Links split the Heart Container, then step into the blue light.

Announcer: …And, that marks the end of our Tri-Challenge game!

Torch Slugs: Hey, wasn’t Volvagia supposed to eat those kids?

Announcer: Uh, yeah, about that-

Torch Slugs: What happened to the senseless gore and violence you promised us? You lied!

Announcer: …Senseless gore and violence, huh?

Torch Slugs: Yeah!

Announcer: …*pees on Torch Slugs*

Torch Slugs: AIEEEE! *die*

Gore and Violence: *senseless*

Ratings: *go up*

Announcer: Woo, I’m gonna be rich…

OMG. The Muslims weren't that funny to be honest. With the "Outrageous!" and all that...But the Miyamoto/Koji Kondo relationship was hilarious!
And the ending? Killer. (That's a good thing btw.)

and Shigeru Miyamoto is back with them! another great chapter grass. That goron was so dumb! and really paranoic... this chapter was original as always.
grammar: perfect as always (except for the gorons of course, but you knew what you were doing with that so it doesn't count as a grammar error) 5/5
jokes: originally funny as always 5/5
randomness: for a moment a thought you forgot about the goron trying to remember what he forgot, but he appears at the last moment when least expected to say something totally useless, randomly funny! 5/5

Even though I've already read this chapter a long time ago, I might as well just comment.

First of all, that was pretty freaking long compared to your other chapters! You must've spent a little more time than usual on that thing. Second, thanks for bringing the muslims back! They're just so hilarious how they complain about pretty much everything in the game. Maybe in the Water Temple you should have them come and complain about how things there are 'outrageous', even though there's really nothing offensive about the Water Temple.

And I'm not trying to be annoying or anything, but please check out my parody!

Hey, I"ll try not to be off topic here. The only thing wrong with the last chapter.... was Koji+Shigeru. He makes good music, why insult him? If it turns out Koji's a girl, I'm going to feel stupid.

And Manw/thoo's parody is pretty good, grass. He's been wanting you back for ages.

Here comes Twilightwolf's rubric64!

Grammar: You know what, asking this is so pointless, I'm taking it out of the rubric (next time). 5/5

Yellow: Same idiot as usual. 5/5

White: Oh, god he was terrible. That was sarcasm, which is what I love about him! 5/5

Black: He is such a sadist, punching that poor, moron goron (Hey, that rhymed!). 5/5

Randomness: The goron coming with the useless advice, Mido descending from heaven, the muslims, and the ratings were great. Also, SILLY GORON! TRIX ARE FOR KIDS! 5/5

Supporting Characters: Shigeru Miyamoto, Koji Kondo, the musilims, and Volvagia were excellent. Volvagia's so stupid! 5/5

I give this chapter a perfect 5/5!

Radkin: Thanks much for the comments, but- try to make the effort to say your favorite parts and stuff like that! I'm sure you remember what happened to the other thread, and I know you don't want the same to happen to this. I'm not expecting a big rubric like some other people (although those are fabulous), but at least a little more commentary.

Sorry- I really do have to be a nag about this, so sorry in advance ^.^;

Okay, update. Chapter 50... is like, a milestone or something, I think? ...Well, here we go.

(Holy wow, this is a long one >_< Sorry)

CHAPTER FIFTY: THE BIGGORON’S SWORD QUEST, PART FIVE

The four enter the Chamber of Sages.

Darunia: hai2u

White: Oh, cool! You ended up being the Sage of Fire, eh?

Darunia: ya gess so lol

White: Sweet. Well, we saved all your Gorons, and killed Volvagia. Can we have the Fire Medallion?

Darunia: o u did? kickazz ty ill giv u the fier medallon

Fier Medallon: *falls from ceiling*

Yellow: Er, you spelt it wrong.

Darunia: …o srry *raises hands towards ceiling*

Fire Medallion: *floats down above White’s head*

White: *grabs medallion* Awesome, thanks.

Darunia: np, thx 4 saving my ppl… hay btw, did u meet my son yet?/

Navi: Yeah, we met him in Goron City. Cute little guy.

Darunia: haha ya but i hvnt thougt of a name 4 him yet, dunno y… and i wuz tinking, since u guyz helpd me n everyting, i shud name him after one of u

White: Name your son after one of us? That’d be a great honor!

Black: Yeah, “Black the Goron” does sound pretty cool. Thanks!

White: …Hey, who said we would name it after you? What about “White the Goron”?

Black: Makes him sound like a pansy.

White: Yeah, well your name makes him sound like a moron!

Black: Oh, shut up! Darunia, you wanna name your kid after me, right?

White: No, me!

Black: Me!

Yellow: Let’s name him “pancake”.

Black: …why?

Yellow: Dunno. I’ve always wanted to be called “pancake”, y’know? It’d be all like, “Hey, Pancake, what’s up?” or “Ooh, pancake, you’re looking rather edible tod-

White: Name him after me!

Black: No, me!

Darunia: hmm… dis is tuff decision…

Navi: Look, let’s make a compromise, okay?

White: Okay, what?

Navi: We’ll name him “Navi”.

Darunia: …

White: …

Black: *whacks Navi on the head*

Navi: Ow! What? It’s a great name!

Darunia: ok instaed of namin him white or black, ill name him gray how bout dat?

Black: Gray the Goron, eh?

White: Hey, I kinda like that. That’s a good one!

Yellow: Hey! What about me? Don’t I get a part in the compromise?

Darunia: o ya kk… lets name him “gray pancake”

White: …Gray Pancake?

Black: That sounds dumb.

Darunia: i liek it

Mudkip: DO U LIEK ME??

Darunia: no

Mudkip: i herd rong ;-;

Darunia: newayz jus tell my best frend dat i sad 2 name him gray pancake k? thx again n cya l8r

White: No problem. See ya!

Navi: …Oh, wait! I almost forgot to say hi to Mr. Ez-

The four warp out of the Chamber of Sages.

Mr. Ezelpander: Thank GOD.

Darunia: ur welcum

Mr. Ezelpander: …

Darunia: …

Saria: YAHOO!

In Goron City…

White: Alright, let’s find that friend he was talking about…

Baby Goron: :-D

White: Oh, hi there! We rescued all of the Gorons. Thanks for your help.

Baby Goron: ^_^

Goron: ya, thx very much but weres daruna?

Navi: We’re sorry to inform you that Darunia died.

Baby Goron: :-o

Goron: :-o

Navi: Sorry.

Baby Goron: ;_;

Goron: now now its all gud ill take care of u k lil guy?

Baby Goron:

Navi: Say- are you Darunia’s friend?

Goron: ya im his best frend lol

Navi: Ah, then you’ll be in charge of this little guy, right? Darunia wanted us to tell you what he decided to name him.

Goron: o kewl wat is it

Navi: “Gray Pancake”.

Goron: sweet datz a totlly awsum nam

Yellow: Yeah, isn’t it?

White: *grumble*

Black: *grumble*

Gray Pancake: ^_^

Goron: i wish i had a kewl name liek dat, my parentz calld me “Goron” for sum weerd reason

White: Oh, how… unimaginative.

Goron: ya srsly

White: Anyways, we gotta head out. See ya later.

Goron: kk bai

Gray Pancake: :-D

White: So, guys, where next?

Black: Hey, can we go to King Zora to get the eyedrops for the Biggoron Sword?

White: Oh yeah, huh? Let’s do that first!

Navi: Sounds good, but something tells me we should stop by the Potion Shop first…

White: …what? Why the hell would we do that?

Navi: Well, I noticed a chill coming from Zora’s Domain, and I felt that something wasn’t right. I want to go to them for information.

White: Why there? Why not ask Mike about-

Navi: No, we’re going to the Old Hags. Besides, all they ever do is sit around and gossip, so they’d know what’s going on.

Black: Yeah, good point. Let’s go.

The four enter the Potion Shop.

White: Hi, we-

Old Hag: HEY! IT’S MR. I’M-GONNA-HOLD-A-BOMB-IN-MY-FACE-AND-WAIT-FOR-IT-TO-BLOW-UP! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Old Hag’s Friend: WAHAHAHAHA!

White: …yes, it’s me.

Old Hag: AHAHAHA… so, what can we do for you?

Navi: Do you know if anything strange has happened to Zora’s Domain recently?

Old Hag: Strange? Nope, nothing out of the ordinary.

Navi: Oh, that’s good, then, I-

Old Hag: It’s been frozen for a couple years, of course.

Navi: …frozen?

Old Hag: Yeah, ice all over the place, dunno where the Zoras are.

Old Hag’s Friend: I heard the King himself is trapped in Red Ice.

Old Hag: Ooh yeah, Red Ice.

Yellow: What’s so special about Red Ice?

Old Hag: It can only be melted with Blue Fire. And it just so happens we’ve got some for sale for 300 Rupees!

White: 300 Rupees? That’s way too much! I can’t afford that-

Old Hag’s Friend: Why, are you broke because of all the medical expenses you had to pay after you blew up a BOMB in your FACE?

Old Hag: AHAHAHAHA!

Old Hag’s Friend: WAHAHAHAHA!

White: …Let’s go, guys.

The four exit Kakariko Village and go all the way to Zora’s Domain.

Yellow: Woah… everything is frozen over! Even the huge pools are a solid block of ice!

Black: Y’know, I like it better that way.

White: That’s because you can’t swim, you wuss.

Black: Hey, screw you! I’m not the one who blew up a bomb in his face!

Navi: AHAHAHAHA!

Yellow: WAHAHAHAHA!

White: …I hate you all.

Yellow: …So, you know what rhymes with Deku Tree?

White: No, what?

Yellow: D-

Black: Woah! Look at that! The King Zora really is frozen in red ice!

White: Yoiks… and we don’t have any blue fire to melt it, either. How are we going to do this?

Black: Ah, I know how to thaw it. *unzips pants, pees on frozen King Zora*

Red Ice: *nothing*

White: …nope, didn’t work.

Black: Oh, it didn’t? That’s okay, I needed to take a leak anyways.

White: Here, I bet this’ll do it. *bangs red ice with Megaton Hammer*

Red Ice: *nothing*

Yellow: …Wow, that didn’t do it either. Maybe we should use this blue fire I stole from the Old Hags. *takes out bottle of blue fire*

White: …Holy crap, you stole blue fire from them?

Black: Nice going, dude!

Yellow: Eh, wasn’t so hard. They’re practically blind. *dumps blue fire on red ice*

Red Ice: I’M MEEEEELTING, I’M MEEEEEELTING, I’M-*melts*

King Zora: *shivers* Woah! I feel so rather chilly… how curious!

Yellow: Well, that’s probably because you were frozen for seven years.

King Zora: Frozen? Seven years? Incredible!

Black: Too bad you weren’t able to lose any weight in that time, fatty…

King Zora: You know, it smells rather odd around here… almost like urine…

Yellow: Oh, that’s probably because Black pissed on you so much.

King Zora: HE DID WHAT?

Navi: Uh… he said that he missed you so much.

King Zora: …Oh, how sweet! ...But oh, I’ve got such a terrible headache!

Yellow: Oh, that’s probably because White banged your head with a hammer.

King Zora: HE DID WHAT?

Navi: Uh, he said that he banged your dead daughter.

King Zora: HE DID WHAT?

Black: *slaps Navi*

Navi: Ow! Stop that!

King Zora: Well, I suppose a boy can’t control his hormones at that age, can he?

Navi: …Wait, you’re actually okay that he-

Black: Yo, King Zora, we need eyedrops for a friend of ours. Got any?

King Zora: Oh- not at the moment, no, but I do have an Eyeball Frog. You can take this to the scientist by Lake Hylia and he’lll fashion you some eyedrops before you can say, “Pronto”!

White: Why would I ever want to say “Pronto”?

King Zora: …

Black: *takes Eyeball Frog* Alright, thanks, King. …Say, this thing isn’t going to expire or anything, will it?

King Zora: Not to worry. Eyeball Frogs live for approximately seven years and three minutes.

Black: Oh, that’s more than enough time to get to Lake Hylia. Let’s go.

King Zora: Of course, I pulled it out of my ass exactly seven years ago… so, you better hurry.

Black: …Oh, crap, let’s go, guys!

Yellow: …Wait, where you did you say you pulled it out from-

King Zora: NO TIME TO WASTE! HEAD FORTH POSTHASTE!

Yellow: …Yessah!

The four run out of Zora’s Domain.

I lol'd at this one, grass! Usually the best anyone gets is a snort.

Ok, funniest parts were black banging ruto (disturbing pictures), naming gray pancake and... poor darunia in the sages chamber (YAHOO!). It was all funny, though.

LOL!, that was pretty funny...

Navi: …Oh, wait! I almost forgot to say hi to Mr. Ez-

The four warp out of the Chamber of Sages.

Mr. Ezelpander: Thank GOD.

Darunia: ur welcum

Mr. Ezelpander: …

Darunia: …

Saria: YAHOO!

Keep it up, dude! ^_^

This was great, Grass! I haven't got time to do a rubric, but I'll give a list of what I liked:
-Feir medalion
-Gray Pancake
-Mr. Ezelpander
-Black pissing on King Zora
-Black banging Ruto (Eeeewwww!)
-King Zora pulling the Eyeball Frog out of his ass

Anyways, I'll at least give this chapter a grade.
It is... a... 4/5! Keep it up!

Black banging King Zora's dead daughter!! XDD
I laughed so hard at that part! And then he was OKAY WITH IT!
*goes super nova from laughter* It's lines like that that are killer and make such a funny parody....
...Or maybe I just like pervy jokes...hm.

Funny as ever, Grass! Seriously, this is one of your best chapters ever.

First of all, I love how Black got so pissed off when Navi wanted to name the goron 'Navi'. I laughed real hard at that part! And Gray Pancake = The best name ever. At least it's not completely unimaginative like 'Goron'.

And King Zora NEVER fails to make me laugh! Black banging on his daughter? King Zora being okay with it? Now THAT was a joke that really made me crack up! Plus, he pulled the frog out of his ass. XD

The old hags are nothing but triggers for complete laughter! My gosh, those girls rock!

All in all, this chapter is a true killer. It's extremely hard to think of a chapter that's even better than this. It had too many killer jokes for me to imagine! Hopefully you'll come up with an even better chapter than this.

Flaws? I think not. 10/10 for this one, Grass!

You've just given me some inspiration to write MY next chapter! Thank you so much!

And Kenkenkenka's right about me wanting you back for ages, just to let you know.

MWT: Like I said in the PM, don't worry, I'm slowly making progress through your parody. Hold tight!

I did feel that chapter was one of the better ones. After all, it was chapter fifty. That's, like, momentuous, right?

Chapter fifty-one, on the other hand, is filled with lame and overused jokes. >_> Nah, just kidding. Maybe. <_< Just read it yourself.

I did feel the Sun's Song gag was a bit overdone, but there wasn't much I could do about it considering the context... uh... okay, just read the dang thing yourself and gimme feedback! >_<


CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE: THE BIGGORON’S SWORD QUEST, PART SIX

The four exit Zora’s Domain into Hyrule Field.

Yellow: *plays “SexyBack” on Ocarina of Time*

Epona: I LOVE THAT SONG! *teleports in front of the three Links*

Yellow: Woah, you can teleport?

Epona: Can’t everyone?

Yellow: Cool, teleport us to Lake Hylia!

Epona: *teleports to Lake Hylia*

White: …Awesome, let’s go! That building looks like the scientist’s house.

The four enter the scientist’s house.

Scientist: THERE YOU BASTARDS ARE! *throws steak knife*

White: *dodges*…Uh, what’s with the hostility?

Scientist: Hostility? HOSTILITY? YOU WANT HOSTILITY? *takes out bazooka*

White: Woah! Calm down! What did we do to you?

Scientist: I’ve been waiting SEVEN YEARS for my pizza and you guys finally showed up!

Yellow: Pizza? Where?

Scientist: YOU DIDN’T EVEN BRING THE PIZZA WITH YOU? WHY, YOU… *shoots bazooka*

White: *dodges* Look, we’re not pizza delivery men, if that’s what you’re thinking.

Scientist: …Oh, you’re not? My bad… See, I ordered a pizza seven years ago, and those morons still haven’t brought it! It pisses me off so bad!

Yellow: Wow, seven years without food?

Scientist: Yeah, I’m STARVING! GRAAAH!

Black: Wow, I feel sorry for you.

Scientist: Aw, you do? That’s so ni-

Black: Actually, I don’t give a crap. Now, my friend needs eyedrops, and the King Zora gave me this eyeball frog, and…

Scientist: DINNER! *pounces at eyeball frog*

Black: *dodges* No! I want you to make eyedrops out of these!

Scientist: Wha-wha- ruin a perfectly good, delicious, delectable frog by making eyedrops? How can you be so cruel?

Black: Cruel to whom- the frog, or you?

Scientist: Well… me…

Black: I don’t care. Make them now. The frog’s going to die in a minute or so.

Scientist: Just one nibble…

Black: I’ll kill you if you try.

Scientist: …*sighs, grabs frog, puts it in a blender*

Frog: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Scientist: *grabs blended frog guts, puts them in a vial* There’s your stinkin eyedrops.

White: Thanks. Do you want us to pay you for them, so you can get some food?

Scientist: You’d do that? For… for me?

White: Sure, you helped us out. How much do you want?

Scientist: …This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me since-

Navi: Hey, wait! Does this thing go bad after a while?

Scientist: …Huh? Yeah, in four minutes.

Black: Crap! We gotta go!

The four exit the scientist’s house.

Scientist: …Wait! What about my money? I need food! Please! …For pete’s sakes, where are those stupid pizza delivery men?

The four approach Epona.

Yellow: Epona! Teleport to the top of Death Mountain!

Epona: Teleport? How the hell am I supposed to “teleport”? What am I, a super-horse?

Yellow: Wha- but you- fine, whatever, let’s just ride to Death Mountain.

Epona: Ride? What am I, a horse?

Yellow: …Yes.

Epona: …Oh, yeah, huh? Forgot about that.

The four begin riding across Hyrule Field.

White: How much time do we have left?

Black: About two minutes… I’m not sure if we’re going make it in ti- hey, who are those guys?

Pizza Delivery Man 1: Man, it took seven years to make this pizza, but we finally did it!

Pizza Delivery Man 2: Yeah, I just hope that scientist guy isn’t mad at us or anything…

White: Wow, you’re the guys that the scientist ordered a pizza from seven years ago?

Pizza Delivery Man 1: Yeah, that’s us.

White: Wow, we just visited him. He’s really, really mad.

Pizza Delivery Man 2: Aw, man! We better hurry!

Pizza Delivery Man 1: It’s not like it’s even our fault that we took so long, y’know?

Yellow: What do you mean?

Pizza Delivery Man 1: I mean, he ordered so much stuff on it! Cheese, pepperoni, olives, jalapenos, anchovies, raspberry, hydrofluoric acid, socks, horse meat, the Triforce, an electric guit-

Epona: Horse meat? That pizza has horse meat on it?

Pizza Delivery Man 1: Yeah- oh, sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that in front of-

Epona: I LOVE HORSE MEAT! *devours entire pizza*

Pizza Delivery Man 2: …Aw, man! Now we gotta go back and make it again!

Pizza Delivery Man 1: Thanks a lot, stupid horse! I hope that guy can wait another seven years…

Epona: …Hey, I’m not a horse!

Yellow: Epona, you’re a cannibal.

Epona: I am?

Yellow: Yeah! How can you just-

Epona: Cool! *climbs in cannon, shoots to top of Death Mountain*

The four land on the peak of Death Mountain.

Yellow: …Wha- how- I said cannibal, not cannonball!

Epona: …Oh, you did? Then I guess we better head back do-

Black: No, no, this is fine. Hey, Biggoron guy!

Biggoron: …o hai! u guyz cam bak! u got idrops 4m king zora yet?

Black: Yeah, we did. *holds out eyedrops*

Biggoron: thx *grabs Black*

Black: Ack! *drops eyedrops*

Epona: Heh, “drops eyedrops”, that’s funny.

Biggoron: *raises Black over his eyes, squeezes*

Black: GAAAAAH THIS HURTS!

White: Oh, not this again…

Biggoron: hm… the eydrops arent comin out…

Black: MY RIBS!

Navi: Maybe you should squeeze harder, then.

Biggoron: gud idea lol *squeezes Black harder*

Black: MY SPINE!

Biggoron: …hm, luks lik i gotta squeeze relli relli hard huh?

Navi: Yeah, give it your all!

Black: Navi… please… stop… save me…

Navi: Oh, save you? Like before, how I yelled at him to stop?

Black: Yes… please… I’m dying…

Navi: Well, I would, but I think my vocal chords are a little hurt from all the times you hit me today…

Black: I’m… sorry… I’m at your mercy…

Navi: Really? So you’ll do anything for me if I warn him?

Black: Yes… I promise…

Navi: When you put it that way, sure! Heh…

Biggoron: here goes lol *inhales deeply*

Navi: H-

Epona: HEY LOOK LISTEN STOP WHAT HEY WATCH OUT HEY STOP LISTEN LOOK STOP

Biggoron: …y r u yeling at me stooped cheetah

Epona: Hey! I’m a horse!

Navi: …Aw, man! If I had warned Biggoron, Black would have been my slave… Stupid horse!

Epona: Hey! I’m a cheetah!

White: Biggoron, you’re holding my brother, not the eyedrops.

Biggoron: …o srry srry! must be my relli bad eyesihgt *puts Black down, grabs eyedrops*

Black: Phew… Thanks, Epona!

Epona: Huh? What’d I do?

Black: …nevermind.

Biggoron: *squeezes eyedrop into both eyes, blinks* Ah… finally! I can see well again!

Yellow: …And your grammar isn’t horrible, either… how did that happen?

Biggoron: Oh, I’m sorry, was I typing bad before? I couldn’t see my keyboard.

Yellow: …keyboard?

Biggoron: Yeah, I must have been typing terrible because I couldn’t see anything.

Yellow: …Oh, that’s why your grammar was so good in that love letter you wrote to the rock near Dodongo’s Cavern.

Biggoron: Oh! You saw that love letter? I must have forgotten to mail it then. Well, it’s true, I am quite enamored with that lovely rock down there. Have you seen her?

Yellow: …Yeah, we… we’ve seen it- uh, ‘her’, before.

Biggoron: Is she still as beautiful as she was seven years ago?

Goron: no but she tastd gud

Yellow: *kicks Goron off the cliff*

Biggoron: …”tasted”? What, did he eat that rock?

Yellow: No! Of course not! What would give you that idea?

Black: Yeah, enough of this, you said you’d fix this sword. *takes out Broken Giant’s Knife*

Biggoron: Ah, that’s right! And then I can finally go down to see my love! Come back in three days, and I’ll have fixed this sword, okay?

Black: Sure thing.

Navi: Three days? I don’t wanna wait that long.

Yellow: Don’t worry, I have a plan! *plays Sun’s Song*

Sun: Agh! Not that stupid heavy metal music again! *sets*

Moon: Oh baby! Rock on, man! *rises*

Yellow: *plays Sun’s Song*

Moon: Ew, rap? How can you even call that a “song”? I’m outta here. *sets*

Sun: Oh yeah! My favorite music! *rises*

Yellow: *plays Sun’s Song*

Sun: Man, I hate this stupid heavy metal crap! It doesn’t even sound like music at all! *sets*

Moon: Oh, my favorite song! Man, these riffs are amazing!

Yellow: *plays Sun’s Song*

Moon: Oh, boy, rap again. See ya. *sets*

Sun: Woo! That sick beat just drives me crazy! *rises*

Yellow: *plays Sun’s Song*

Sun: Yuck! This song sucks! *sets*

Moon: Hey, this band is awesome! Nice lead guitar work! *rises*

Yellow: *plays Sun’s Song*

Moon: Bleh! This song is lame! *sets*

Sun: Ooh, this song is awesome! *rises*

Yellow: Okay, three days have gone by.

Navi: That was… bizarre…

Sun: Actually, it was Chamillionaire.

Biggoron: Hey, I finished the sword. Here you go! *hands Biggoron’s Sword to Black*

Black: *takes Biggoron’s Sword* Awesome! It’s so huge, I can’t even carry it with one hand! I’m gonna be invincible with this!

Biggoron: Well, I’m off to see the love of my life! Farewell! *rolls down Death Mountain*

Yellow: Okay, Epona, let’s shoot back down to Kakariko!

Epona: Shoot back down?

Yellow: Yeah, you’re a cannonball, remember?

Epona: Oh yeah! *climbs into a cannon, shoots down to Kakariko Village*

Yellow: …Crap, she didn’t wait for us…

White: Great, we’ll have to climb down the normal way. Oh well.

The four climb down Death Mountain.

Yup, you really did overuse the sun's song. And you also overused the breaking of the fourth wall.

Plus, I didn't really like that part with the scientist. I'm not sure if it was just me, but I didn't really laugh much during that part. The pizza delivery thing was pretty funny, though.

But what I'm really happy about with this chapter is all of Epona's jokes! I swear, that thing about her being a cannonball was hilarious! And I cracked up at the end when she left Yellow, Black and White behind. Yup, that was priceless!

So yeah, this isn't exactly one of your best chapters, but it still has some really good jokes in it. Keep up the good work, man!

Oh, and you might as well just edit your sig. It's been saying Chapter 49 for the past two days.