(Fan) The Legend of Zelda: Saving Link [T]

The Legend of Zelda: Saving Link
Introduction

Zelda sat back onto the grass, allowing the midday sun to warm her skin. Her long blonde hair trailed behind her and she sighed, breathing in the scents of summer - moist grass, salty water from the glorious Lake Hylia. Being a descendant of the Royal Family of Hyrule meant not often did she have a moment to herself; Impa, her nursemaid and general carer, was often found hovering around the young princess.

Barely before this thought had left her mind, Zelda swerved around to face the direction of Hyrule Castle. Her thoughts had been startled by a swift walk, owned by none other than Impa. Zelda's heart sank; as much as she cared for Impa, she had been anticipating an afternoon by herself. A "reflection" period, perhaps.
"Princess Zelda," Impa cried breathlessly, from a few feet away.
"Impa? I thought you were staying at the castle..." her voice got softer near the end of the sentence, as Zelda realised that her statement could be perceived as rude. Luckily, Impa didn't seem to notice.
"Princess Zelda, a letter just arrived for you at the castle. It looked rather important, and I decided that you might want to read it here" Impa held out her hand; in it was a rolled up parchment. Zelda's eyes widened as she reached out, with a shaking hand, for the parchment.

Moving a few feet away from Impa, tears appeared in Zelda's eyes as she skimmed through the hurried letter. As she reached the bottom, she gasped and dropped the letter, allowing her gaze to turn to the large, dark building to the East - Ganandorf's Castle.

Very good, Panique. Hope to read more!

Yay, a comment! Thanks Alex. I'll get onto chapter 1 soonish.

Oh. My. God. I LOVED it. It wasn't like one of those that trail on and on and on. ^^ It was well written and built up quite a setting and plot! Excellent. I will most definitely be checking on this once chapter 1 is completed.

Yay! Two readers! I'll update soon, hopefully.

I liked it. And it is neither too small or too large so it is very good. Hope to read more.

The Legend of Zelda: Saving Link
Chapter 1

Epona's canter was strong, yet smooth. Zelda had ridden Epona only a few times before now; and only with Link in front of her. She sighed, yearning to feel Link's warm body close to hers again. Unfortunately, thanks to the 'King of Evil' as Ganondorf referred to himself (ego problem much?), Link was trapped inside a fortress of all sorts of evils; evils that Zelda couldn't even summon in her own mind. She shuddered, leaning close to Epona's neck and combing her fingers through the horse's ebony mane, the cold wind tousling her blonde hair. Her mind insisted on replaying the events of the last hour. Relaxing, in the sun, alone until Impa ran across. The last thing she had been expecting, one of the things she had dreaded most, nightmares had made their way into her mind while sleeping - but she never assumed that the day would ever come.

She continued to comb through Epona's tangled mane, clasping the parchment from Link tightly in the other hand. The words written on it were enough to bring tears from her eyes.

'Zelda;', the letter had started off. 'Please help me. I have been trapped in Ganondorf's castle, I don't remember how I got here, or why he's captured me, but to be honest I'm scared. It's not often that I'm in such a vulnerable position. Please, send help soon. -Link.'

Suddenly, Zelda was flying through the air. Epona had halted without Zelda achknowledging.
"Epona!" she cried, wondering why the horse had stopped. Epona whinnied and took a few steps back. Zelda started to take slow steps toward her, but stopped, realising what had jolted the horse. Her eyes widened, and -

Regaining consciousness a few minutes later, Zelda woozily sat up and brushed herself off. Epona was standing next to her. As far as Zelda could tell, neither her or the horse were injured greatly. But, where had that bomb come from? It certainly hadn't been there before... which meant, they were being watched. Zelda's gaze rose to the castle, not too far away from her. Was Ganondorf watching her and Epona right now? Was he casting some evil plot to have her and Epona executed?

* * *
A few hundred yards away, Ganondorf was pacing in his castle impatiently. He snarled, as a young Gerudo servant entered the room.
"Well? Have you taken out Princess Zelda?" he asked menacingly, baring yellow, disgusting teeth in a sinister smile.
"Uhh, Great King of Evil, you see, uhh-" the Gerudo stammered fiercely, looking down at his feet.
"Did you, or did you not?!" bellowed Ganondorf, picking up the servant with one hand and staring into his eyes.
"... no..." the servant whispered, shutting his eyes. Ganondorf dropped him to the ground heavily. The young boy whimpered and left the room in a rush.
"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, PRINCESS ZELDA! NO ONE MAKES A MOCKERY OF THE GREAT KING OF EVIL!"

* * *
Epona's ears twitched. "Did you hear something, Epona?" Zelda asked, staring towards the castle once again. She shivered, and mounted the horse once more. Together, they started slowly towards the castle.

I'm liking how the plot is developing! ^^ Very nice... I definitely like how you talked about Ganondorf's ego. XD Very nicely done. The only thing I can say is that you may want to put something so that we know you're switching settings and characters... Like:

Originally Posted by Chapter One of Your Story

Regaining consciousness a few minutes later, Zelda woozily sat up and brushed herself off. Epona was standing next to her. As far as Zelda could tell, neither her or the horse were injured greatly. But, where had that bomb come from? It certainly hadn't been there before... which meant, they were being watched. Zelda's gaze rose to the castle, not too far away from her. Was Ganondorf watching her and Epona right now? Was he casting some evil plot to have her and Epona executed?

~ ~ ~

A few hundred yards away, Ganondorf was pacing in his castle impatiently. He snarled, as a young Gerudo servant entered the room.
"Well? Have you taken out Princess Zelda?" he asked menacingly, baring yellow, disgusting teeth in a sinister smile.
"Uhh, Great King of Evil, you see, uhh-" the Gerudo stammered fiercely, looking down at his feet.
"Did you, or did you not?!" bellowed Ganondorf, picking up the servant with one hand and staring into his eyes.
"... no..." the servant whispered, shutting his eyes. Ganondorf dropped him to the ground heavily. The young boy whimpered and left the room in a rush.
"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, PRINCESS ZELDA! NO ONE MAKES A MOCKERY OF THE GREAT KING OF EVIL!"

Just so that we know when you're changing stuff. =D The writing is great! The story is great! Well, everything is just awesome. I can't wait for chapter numero dos!

Hey, thanks for the idea Riku's Girl! I might go edit it now to add those in, thanks for the tip. Oh, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. =D

I read the first part and I was excited. Your writing skills are phenomenal, but, frankly, when I read the first chapter, it was not developing like I hoped it would. I liked the seriousness in the prologue, but the first chapter began to get a little, well, corny. For example, the "ego problem much?" was a little girly, not serious like it appeared at first. I would take that out. Another thing you might want to think about working on is the fact that it is very fast-paced. It is a nice plot and all, but it dives into the conflict very swiftly. Please don't take it the wrong way, I am really looking forward to your next installments.

-Hyperbadox

Originally Posted by Hyperbadox

I read the first part and I was excited. Your writing skills are phenomenal, but, frankly, when I read the first chapter, it was not developing like I hoped it would. I liked the seriousness in the prologue, but the first chapter began to get a little, well, corny. For example, the "ego problem much?" was a little girly, not serious like it appeared at first. I would take that out. Another thing you might want to think about working on is the fact that it is very fast-paced. It is a nice plot and all, but it dives into the conflict very swiftly. Please don't take it the wrong way, I am really looking forward to your next installments.

-Hyperbadox

Thanks for your critique! I really need to start sharpening up my writing. I had a debate about putting in the "ego problem much?" line myself, in the end I decided to, but I did realise that it clashed a little.

It is moving pretty fast (a change - usually I prattle on about anything in a story), but that's just because chapter 1 introduces us to the story. It should start slowing down over the next few chapters.

And thanks for reading! It's not the best, but thank you for taking the time to help me improve.

It was AWSOME. I can't wait for the next one. I would take this guys advice.

I loved it Panique! Keep it up, cant wait to read more

You are an awesome writer.

You have a good ability at picking up small details that help a lot with the description.

Anyway, hope you write more. ^w^

You guys are sweet :3 I'll try to update very soon.

Tis quite awesome. Not Corney, like a lot of garbage I have read before. Keep it up, I shall be waiting for the next update.