(Fan) Hirato en Minoria (G)

Hi all, the time has come for my next short story. After this, I hope to begin construction on my first story in a four-part series. First, however, I must address an important piece of my series’ history: How the Hylians came form the planet of Hyrule to Earth (or Tera, as it is called in the story). This story is supposed to read as though someone is reading it from a book, so there will not be any dialog. So, without further ado, I bring you “Hirato en Minoria” (“Death and Rebirth” in old Hylian)

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It has been over 200 years since the World War began. Senseless bloodshed for a cause long forgotten. The world was in tatters, old alliances abandoned, all honor lost. With the exception of a few, Hyrule had turned into a sinful and evil planet. The goddesses wept for their creation, and formulated a plan to save their children. In dreams, they told all who remain righteous to rally together on a small island in the middle of the Great Sea. They where also to bring important artifacts, both good and evil, along with them.

It took three months for all those who the goddesses contacted to make it to the island. This tiny island was only about one and a half miles in diameter; however, over nine thousand people made it. Yet, not all of them where Hylian. Some where Zoras, Gorons, Deku, and even Kokiri and Gerudo. All of them where considered righteous and pure. Among the people there where the descendants of King Link and Queen Zelda the first, the sages of the era, and even some of the remaining royal families from other countries on the planet.

When they got to the island, they saw an impressive sight. The island itself was desolate and dead, but on the center of the island sat a huge spaceship. Yet, no one knew what it was because they had never seen anything like it, so they kept their distance and stared at it in awe. A few days later, when they had all arrived, the front of the ship pulled up onto it’s self to reveal what looked like a door. A large piece of the ship slid out from under the door, like a titanic steel tongue. The piece then tilted down to make a ramp onto the rocky ground of the island. The huge steel doors then slid apart to reveal the ship’s interior.

The people then began to board the machine, bringing all that they could carry. Once everything was loaded, the doors slammed shut, as though they where in a hurry to leave. It was a truly expansive ship. It measured over one mile and a half miles long, and one mile wide. It was large enough to hold all that they needed to carry, and more. About one day after the people had loaded the artifacts aboard the ship, they decided to christen it the rather cliched name: The Ark. No one said they where original thinkers, now did they. Anyway, the Ark than began to make strange noises, like a kettle of steaming tea. The ship had begun to liftoff, it hovered in the air for a few minutes, then engines began to whirl to life, and the ship began to move forward.

The ship then, hurriedly, made for space. However, the people inside where not affected by the G forces caused by the rapid ascent. It was only about a million miles out from Hyrule when the most horrific tragedy to befall the people of Hyrule occurred. The planet exploded with the force of ten thousand atomic bombs. Many scholars believe that this is the exact point when the two timelines created by Zelda the first intersected and became one again.

The goddesses then appeared before the people, telling them that Hyrule had become so wicked, that they had to destroy their most beloved creation to save it. Much like their father did on his favorite planet in the universe, which is where they where going to recreate Hyrule in a new, and better image. The name of the planet was Tera: a beautiful, multi-elemental planet, much like Hyrule. The voyage would take ten years, but the payoff would defiantly be worth it. With the goddesses at the helm of the ship, it would be smooth sailing from then on. At least, that is what they thought.

End part 1/2

I'm not exactly sure what to make of it.

I did see some things you could fix, however.

...One person even took it upon themselves to bring two of every animal, kind of like the biblical story. Anyway, once everything...Anyway, the Ark than began to make strange noises...

I don't like the way you used "kind of like" and "anyway". It doesn't work with stroytelling.

The name of the planet was Tera, a beautiful...

Replace the comma after Tera with a colon.

Also, you misspelled ascent with accent. ^_^

You do have a creative mind, though. I would love to read part two.

Originally Posted by sjr12

I'm not exactly sure what to make of it.

I did see some things you could fix, however.
I don't like the way you used "kind of like" and "anyway". It doesn't work with stroytelling.

Replace the comma after Tera with a colon.

Also, you misspelled ascent with accent. ^_^

You do have a creative mind, though. I would love to read part two.

Thank you for the Input. The perspective of the story is sort of like a person reading it out of a book. The certain part you quoted was, in fact, a part where the narrorator deveiates from the story and adds their own comment. Maybe I should edit it to express that, or just delete it entirely, whatever works.

Edit: I think I should delete that part. It may offend some people anyway, so, out it goes.

Ciroton I like the fact you are posting in moderation beacuse it lets people like me witch are not very pachent read it before getting bored.

That's nice, but do you have any comments on the content of the story?

Well, It is finally ready. Here comes...

Part two

It had been a week since the Ark had left Hyrule. Many people aboard where saddened by the sigh of their beloved home exploding in literally, five trillion pieces. Yet, the people where grateful to the goddesses for sparing their lives. Little did they know that before they could leave their system they would have to face a trial. At the edge of the system lay an asteroid field. The asteroids where all very close together, so navigating through it would be no easy task.

It was rough sailing through the asteroid field. The ship was bumped, thumped, gouged, and scratched as it squeezed its giant hull amount the myriad of asteroids and comets. However, the ship was built strong enough to endure conditions far worse than that. Almost three days upon entering the field where cleared it. For the next two years, there would be nothing but the dark vacuum of space.

Then another trial came upon the people of Hyrule. The close proximity to one another had brought about a very infectious disease that was striking at the people left, right, and center. The top scientists aboard worked hard on a cure, and eventually found it. Fifty people died to the disease, which they named “Hylian Fever”. Yet, this fever was only the beginning.

The worst thing yet was about to happen to the people aboard the Ark. Right in their path was a war between two highly advanced planets. The warring planets and the people aboard the Ark had become silent as though a stare down was taking place, everyone daring everyone to make the first move. The situation was tense, to say the least. Then, the Ark made the first move. It began to move slowly into the firing range of the two space navies.

The two navies sent out scout ships to evaluate the threat. No one had ever seen a ship of this size before. They had no idea what it was, friend or foe. Meanwhile, the people aboard the Ark where incredibly nervous as the scout ships passed. They thought they where done for this time. Everyone was so quiet, you could drop a pin in there and everyone would hear it. To the relief of everyone aboard, the scout ships passed without a single shot fired. After the Ark had passed their firing range, the war continued as thought nothing had happened.

Then, eight years later, as they where about to enter their new planet’s solar system, the goddesses gathered everyone together to tell them about their new home. The lesson was lengthy; taking over two days with breaks for meals. Yet afterwards, they felt that the lesson was well worth it for they where prepared to face the locals, a species similar, yet vastly different then theirs. They where called “Humans”. These “Humans” where a very high-strung race. They would get nervous over anything they did not understand. However, they where an inventive and resourceful people. Many of the people aboard though they would get along perfectly.

Then, when they where only three days away form Tera, they found out that the solar system had an asteroid belt, probably to protect Tera. The ship, again, had to weave its way though a tight spot, but this time they where not so lucky. An asteroid had hit the engine, thus destroying all steering to the ship. They where on a collision course for the planet’s moon.

The goddesses tried there hardest to stop it, yet it was out of there control. Being in their father’s system had lead them to lose their powers until they landed on the surface. There was nothing they could do in that stare, except to tell all the people to brace for the impact. It was a terrible impact too. The ship collided with the moon causing many scrapes on both the ship, and the lunar surface. The Ark then plummeted to the ground after being drawn in by Tera’s gravity. The side closest to the ground was aflame as the metal of the ship hit the atmosphere. To the creatures on the scattered islands in the largest part of the ocean, it looked as though the sky where on fire.

The Ark then hit the water with a terrible force, causing a huge tidal wave that did devastating damage to any islands near by, and even to the continents, about one thousand miles away. Once the ship had settled, the people aboard climbed on top to see nothing but oceans.

Now that they had landed, the goddesses had their powers back. Without any hesitation, they began their work. Din, with her flaming hands created the land and ended the rough seas caused by the ships landing. With her work done, she retreated to the ship where Nayru took her turn. Then, Nayru created the waters of the rivers, lakes and streams, and brought law to the land. With her work complete, she too retreated to the ship. Then Farore, created the grass and forests of Hyrule, and brought life to the land. When her work was complete, she too returned to the ship.

Then all three goddesses held hands, and in a light show of titanic proportions, summoned the Triforce. Each goddess too her respective piece and headed away from the ship. Din when west, Nayru south, and Farore North. Then, three explosions of gold light filled the sky, as shards of the Triforce went in all possible directions. This was to make sure no more wars where fought over the Triforce.

With everyone in shock at the devastation of their holy artifact, the goddesses returned to the Ark. The goddesses explained their reasons for splitting the Triforce into almost three million separate shards to the people. Upon hearing this, they felt too, that it was for the best. Finally, the goddesses thanked the people for their bravery as well as their devotion to them. For this the people where to receive a gift, what it was, they would not know until the time was right. After blessing the land and people, the goddesses then ascended into the heavens, leaving a New World for the Hylians to explore, learn, and even save.

The End
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Epilogue
Two hundred years after the resurrection of Hyrule in the Earth year: 1340, a country called Great Britain laid claim to Hyrule. Then in the year 1650, in a movement called “The Hylian Revolution” Hyrule was restored to it’s previous state. However, the true Royal family had been kicked out of power, and a law placed that would disallow the Royal Family to lay claim to the throne for over three hundred years. During the Hylain Revolution, it was discovered that “The gift of the goddesses” was the ability to perform magic. This revelation led to the freedom of Hyrule.

Due to this, the Hylian people where discriminated against for fear of them taking over the world with their magical powers. This discrimination would continue until the Second World War, where Hyrule would support the allies with over four hundred ships and thirty thousand troops despite past differences. Yet, to this day, some people continue to discriminate Hylians, although it is no longer officially illegal anywhere in the world. However, many Hylians are not on good terms with humans because of centuries of hatred towards Hylians. Even humans born in Hyrule
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There you have it. The story is done. However, now there are "The Big Four" to look foward to, and beleive me, if you like these short stories, you will do doube like my full-lenght stories.

i liked it but it could do with a "what happend during that time in space" type thing.