Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, well sorta

Ok, I'm writing this story for fun, and though I've never played Four Swords (no one to play with) I think that this could be entertaining(for awhile) One quick note, this takes place after OoT, Link has been sent back in time, and then grown up to his 17 year old self again, he has most of his items, and with that, let's begin.
Chapter One: The Seal in Broken
On a beautiful spring day Link was riding Epona across Hyrule Field, with the wind blowing through his hair, when Zelda called him telepathically.

Zelda: Link, can you hear me now?

Link: Zelda what did we say about you making jokes?

Zelda: Not to make them because no one laughs with me, just at me.

Link: Un huh, now then, what did you want?

Zelda: I need you to meet me on the Southeastern Edge of Hyrule field, I'll explain when you get here.

And with that Link rode on towards where Zelda told him to meet her, he was near Kakariko Village though, so it would take him some time.
He finally arrived to see Zelda standing amidst some trees and rocks. Dismounting he stood before Zelda.

Zelda: Took you long enough.

Link: Well what do you want from me, I was on the other side of Lon Lon Ranch.

Zelda: Fine anyway, it's good your here, we need to check the Seal on Vaati the Wind Mage.

Link: The wha on the whut what?

Zelda: The Seal that keeps Vaati the Wind Mage imprisoned, much like the one on Ganon.

Link: Oh, huh?

Zelda: Nevermind.

She then began feeling along the rock wall looking for any abnormalities(oooo big word) and finding a spot she pushed it in, the ground then began quaking, the rock wall lifted and the ground sank down revealing steps leading down.

Link: And you never told me about this because?

Zelda: It was need to know, and you didn't need to know.

Link: Ok fine.

Zelda: It should be just up ahead.

Link: What should?

Zelda: *Sigh* the Seal Link, the Seal.

Link: Oh yeah that.

Zelda: There it is, looks ok, except, wait a minute.

Zelda then walks up to it and begins inspecting the Sword that is stuck in a pedestal(much like the Master Sword)

Zelda:Hmmm, looks fine, ok we can go.

Link: Wait wait, whats it do?

Zelda: Don't even think about it Link, it has to keep Vaati Sealed away.

Link: Oh alright fine.

Unknown black thing:MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

UBT grabs Zelda and hits Link back

Zelda: Ahhhh, unhand,errr, let go of me you feind.

UBT: It's an appendage. Oh how lucky for me, I finally get out of that dreadful place that I was locked in, do you know what it's like to be traped in a Chuckie Cheeses for 500 years?

Link: Uh, no can't say that I do, by the way who are you?

UBT: Oh yes that, sorry, I am Vaati the Wind Mage
*Sounds of Lightining and Thunder*
Link: Really? Pleased to meet you.

Zelda: Uh Link?

Zelda who is still held in Vaati's hand err, appendage is waiting for Link to come to her aid
Link: Just a second Zelda, so is being a Wind Mage fun?

Vaati: Ah, it's not bad, the salary is good, benefits, vacations when I want them, I'm pretty much my own boss.

Link: That's nice, I have to report to this slavedriver. She's a really twit.

Zelda: I heard that.

Link: Oh hi Zelda, uh, um, I was talking about Impa, yeah yeah. Uh.
Vaati: Anyway, it was nice talking to you Link but I've really got to get going, I've got evil armies to summon, Zelda to marry, and Hyrule to take over, I'm swamped.

Link: Oh it's ok, no problem, I'll see ya later, hey wait, Zelda you didn't tell me you were getting married! How could you keep such a thing a secret from me?

Zelda: Can't imagine, you idiot(under her breath)

Link: Well have a nice honeymoon

Vaati: Thanks, oh and you are invited to the wedding you know.

Link: Oh really, oh that's great, thanks.

Zelda: LINK! YOU IDIOT, grab the Four Sword and rescue me!

Link: The what?

Zelda: Errrr, that Sword right there, grab it, it will make four of you, then you all can save me.

Link: Oh, ok.

Vaati: Later Link.

Link: Bye!

Zelda: Maybe if Mario isn't to busy.

And with that said, Vaati and Zelda disappear into a strong wind.

Link: Ok then, so uh, what was I gonna do.

30 Minutes later

Link: I know it was important

1 hour later

Link: It was it was

2 days later

Link: Gotta pee, gotta pee

5 Mintues later

Link: Ok, I was gonna, oh yeah pull the sword right.

Link then walked up to the sword, and pulling with all his might it came up rather easily

Link: Well that was easy I wonder why it's called the AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

As Link was pondering that fact he was split, or duplicated, whichever you wish to look at, into 4, Himself wearing Green tunic, the next wearing a red tunic, then next wearing a blue tunic and the last wearing a purple tunic.

{A/N: Just to let you know, Green Link is the real Link, and will just be Link, Red Link will be RLink, blue will be BLink, and so on and so forth}

Link: Wow, that's wild.

Rlink: You're tellin me.

Blink: I feel funny.

Plink: Why am I wearing purple?

Navi: Hi Link BWAHHH! What happened!?

Link: Uh nothin.

Rlink: What did I do, what did you do!

Blink: Oh yeah that really looks convincing.

Plink: Ahem, why am I wearing purple?

Navi: Ok only one of you talk

Silence

Navi: Ok one of you be a spokesperson.

*Links huddle*

Links: me, no me no I'm the obvious choice, enough!

*Break huddle*

Link: We the links have decided that I shall speak on our behalf.

Navi: Good, anyway what happened, does Zelda know about this?

Link: Yes, she and Vaati are off getting married.

Navi: WHAT! and you didn't try to stop them!

Link: Well I was gonna, but then these guys showed up and and

Navi: I will not except excuses, all of you are coming with me, and we are going to rescue Princess Zelda! Are we CLEAR!

Links: Sir yes Sir!

Navi: Let's move move move!

So Navi, Link, Link, Link and uh Link walked outside and the ground and the rock closed up.

Navi: If my calculations are correct, Vaati's fortress should be on Death Mountain somewhere.

Link: Well that is great, but how are all 4 of us going to get to Death Mountain? Epona might be able to take 2, at best three, but no more.

Navi: You really are an idiot aren't you. RLink will use the Bolero of Fire to get to Death Mountain, BLink will use the Minuet of Forest to go through the secret warps in the Lost Woods, and you two will ride on Epona.

Links: That might work.

Navi: Ok then let's go.


--------------------------------------------
So how bad is it? Any critic's would be good, just make it senseable. And keep in mind this is my first solo fic, so don't set the bar to high. Thanks!

I really like it... I was laughing before I finished it. I loved the way that you portrayed Link, and especially the way that you portrayed Zelda. That was hilarious... <<Maybe if Mario isn't too busy>> priceless... I really like it, but it doesn't seem to be very serious.

Well it sorta isn't supposed to be serious, well not 100% anyway.

I realized that by the writing style, like I said before I really like it. Hiarious. Turned out better than mine I think.

Thanks, but I like your fic, I just wish you would update it. Please

Make you a deal. Update yours and I'll update mine. Ok? I really like the way it is going and can't wait to read more. (I'll probably have to wait until tommorow to update mine, though.)

Well I'll try to tomorrow, but since I just posted it, I think I'll let it be for a bit. Also I gotta think up some ideas, since my Microsoft Word kept kicking me out, I had to make most of this up off the top of my head. But I've got some other idea's so it will work out.

All right then. Deal. I'll try to update mine tommorow, but you'll have to scroll down or click the link in my siggy as no one seems to like it enough to comment.

Are you having trouble with ideas? I've never played FourSwords, so is that going to be the basic plotline, or are you going to go somewhere else?

Is no one else reading my fic besides imstarbright?????
I mean I'm going to post more sometime, but I'd like to know that more than 2 are atleast going to read it!

I read it. I found it quite amusing. Stupid humor is the highest form

Ok, I just finished this chapter just now, so I hope it is good.
Chapter Two: To the Mountain, very slowly.

When we last left our Hero, that is to say Heros, and Navi too, they were about to go their

seperate ways to reach Death Mountain. RedLink was using the Bolero express, BlueLink was

using the Minuet subway, and Link and PurpleLink were riding double on Epona. Poor Epona, as

if one fairy boy in tights wasn't enough. And I know what your thinking, what is Zelda doing

all this while? Let's find out.

Zelda: Let me go you creep.

Vaati: Oh do you really mean it?

Zelda: No I want to stay here forever, OF COURSE I MENT IT!

Vaati: You say that now, but soon you will grow to love me.

Zelda: In a pig's eye.

Vaati: You want a pig's eye? Coming right up!

Zelda: No you one eyed freak! RRRRRRRR Link you had better be trying to save me, or so help

me I will * This portion of our story has been censored for younger readers* Oh yes I will!

Vaati: You say something my precious?

Zelda: No!{sweetly} You sniveling little *ahem* {under breath} Say now, he left his Storm

Cell.

Zelda looking this way and that, noticing no one around rushes for the "Storm Cell" (looks

strangly like the wind waker, only with magical buttons.) picks it up and starts dialing.

Other End: Hellooo?

Zelda: Oh thank the goddesess you're there.

OE: Who isa this?

Zelda: It's me Zelda, don't you recognize me?!

OE: Shoulda I?

Zelda: Yes you should, my games sell just as many as yours do!

OE: Oha higha Donkey Kong!

Zelda:?! DK?????!!! You idiot, no one likes DK's newer games, it is me Zelda, you know the

other popular Nintendo series.

OE: Oha Samus you shoulda saida it was yous!

Zelda: What is the matter with you you're thicker headed than Link!

OE: Link! Oh hi Link, how is Zelda!?

Zelda: *sighs* She is fine, but I need you to rescue her, she is being held by Vaati the

Wind Mage *Thunder and Lightining* Why does that always happen?

OE: Okey Dokey Linka, I'll get my brother and we be right on it! HOO HOO! *hangs up*

Zelda: Not quite what I was hopeing for, but atleast he is coming, which is probably more

than I can say for Link, I'll be he is sitting on his rear watching the sky right now!

Ah but little did Zelda know that that was exactly what one of our Links was doing.

PLink: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Link: I told ya to hang on.

Navi: Yes he did.

Epona: Neigh.

Plink: But why would Epona throw me off? She is my horse.

Link: Actually she is my horse, that and you are wearing purple, and since I don't wear

purple she doesn't recognize you.

Navi: Thank you very much professer, now on to the facts, you slaped her rear twice, she

doesn't like that.

Epona: Neigh!

Plink: What are you talking about? I, we, LINK! Always slaps her to make her go faster.

Link: Ah yes but not twice, she is picky about those things.

Navi: How would you like it?

Epona: Neigh.

Plink: Ok I get that, but that still wasn't right.

Link: Whatever, anyway let's go, get back on.

Navi: Yeah, maybe we should stop by Lon Lon ranch to get another horse.

Epona: NEIGH! *starts nodding head*

So as our terrific trio
Epona: NEIGH!
Excuse me, our quasy quartet headed towards Lon Lon Ranch to get another horse. Rlink was

already inside the Death Mountain crater.

Rlink: So, what now.

Really Big Person In The Shadows: Link what are you doing here?

Rlink: WAAAAA! *grabs chest* left arm, tingling

Wimpy Short Man Wearing Green: Tinglin Tifgling! I knew it Mr. Fairy! I knew it!

Rlink: NO! NO! That's not what I meant!

RBPITS: Well it's to late, you already said it, now he will follow you where ever you go.

WSMWG: Yes that is right Mr. Fairy!

Rlink: Why me! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RBPITS: I don't know, but that's the way the rock cookie crumbles.

WSMWG: MMMMMMMmmmmm, cookies, C is for cookie that's good enough for me!

Rlink: Oh no you don't! *smacks WSMWG with his Four Sword*

WSMWG: OWWWCH!

RBPITS: Yes I agree with Rlink *clubs WSMWG with, um, a club*

WSMWG: Why you all hurt Tingle?!

Rlink&RBPITS: Because you are avaliable.

Tingle: Oh, I knew I should have stuck with the Wind Waker job.

RBPITS: Please, you a pest, you always bombed link.

Tingle: It's not my fault your friend did it!

Rlink: ANYWAY! We have a dungeon to find, a monster to destroy, and Tingle to beat up! We

haven't time for dilly dally!

RBPITS: Don't you want to know who I am though?

Rlink: Fine who are you? *sighs*

RBPITS: I am *steps out of shadows* Darunia! Beat you didn't see that coming!

Rlink: Actually I could see you gut coming out of the shadows.

Darunia: OOps.

Tingle: Heheheh, Mr. Goron is out of shape.

Rlink: Yeah you're telling me.

Darunia: I am not! Round is a shape too ya know! I'm as fit as the next man!

Rlink: But you aren't a man, you're a Goron.

Darunia: Aw poooo.

Tingle: Hahahah he said poo.

Rlinkunia look at Tingle who is still laughing, at each other, back at Tingle, each

other, then smack him in unison.

Tingle: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

And so we leave our dynamic duo and,
Tingle: AHem!
Oh fine we leave our dynamic duo and that peculiar fellow, and head to the forest to find out what danger, and/or companions await our True Blue friend.

Blink: Ah the forest, you know I think I lucked out on this one, don't get the heat of the

volcano, don't get the bow legged affect from riding, it's the best, in fact I can't think

of one reason why I shouldn't beat them all to the dungeon.

Blink states confidently as he strides down the stairs from the warp pad and into the long

uh hallway. But as he walks he notices a sound, that sounds familier, but he just can't quite place it until,

Blink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Unfortunatly Blink forgot all about our Moblin friends. Especially the one with the big club.

Blink: Ah ha! I shall smite thee thou feind!

Moblin: RArrrrrr *slams ground*

Blink: You think that will stop me! HA!

He shouts as he charges the hulking mass, avoiding every quaking blast with finesse, he gets

up to the creatures feet and then with a mighty slash he cuts the shins of our ground pounding behemoth and then!

Moblin: WAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, why did you do that to me? *cries uncontrolably*

Blink: Uh?

OtherMoblins: What did you do!

Blink: Nothing, he just um, fell!

Moblin: Nuh un he cut my shins, and all I wanted to do was sell him cookies.Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh

OtherMoblinsLeader: Oh really, that so? Loui!

The Moblin Who Is Loui: Yes boss?

OML: Fix him. *snaps fingers*

Loui cracks his knuckles and then proceeds to bash the stuffing out of Blink.

30 Minutes later

Blink: I'm sorry please stop!

1 Hour later

Blink: oooo look at the pretty stars.

5 Hours later

Blink: Ok I'll talk!

OML: Loui! *snaps fingers*

TMWIL: Yes boss.

OML: So, did you attack this poor defenceless Moblin?

Blink: DEFENSELESS?! He had a stinking club!

Other Moblin Leader looks at the crying moblin, kicks his club away out of sight.

OML: Did you attack the poor defenseless Moblin?

Blink: *grinding teeth* Yes.

OML: Why would you do that.

Blink: Because.

OML: Loui!

Blink: No nO! I'll talk, I just wanted by, and I thought he was gonna kill me. So I cut him!

OML: You know kid, we could use someone like you.

Blink: Huh?

OML: Yeah yeah, we run a secret organization, that some would call illeagl.

Blink: Really?

OML: Oh yeah, we call ourselves, the Mondo Moblin Mob.

Blink: The Mondo Moblin Mob?

MondoMoblinMob: That's right!

OML: You see kid, I'm the MMM's leada, and we could use someone of your obvious talents.

Blink: Ok, but uh I got this thing I gotta do, and so

MMML: No problem kid, we'll help you, Boys! *snaps fingers*

Four Huge muscle ripped Moblins come in carring varying weapons.

FHMRM: Yes boss.

MMML: You four boys and Loui go with this kid, you watch his back, make sure he comes back

to us, capice? [A/N: However it is spelled?]

FHMRM&Loui: Yes boss.

Blink: Thanks uh boss.

MMML: Call me papa.

Blink: Um, ok papa, see ya later.

Thus Blink, Loui and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins traveled on through to rest of the

Lost Woods and eventually ended up at the LostWoods/GoronCity warp. And try to fit the

Moblins through. Not an easy task to say the least.
Will Malon give them another horse, will she question why there is another Link?
Will Rink, Darunia and the superly annoying Tingle ever find the dungeon?
Will Blink, Loui and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins ever get throught that cramped tunnel!?

Find out on the next chapter of The Four Swords, well sorta

I really like the way this is going... I was laughing really hard before I got to the end, I just have one problem. I am getting a little confused with all of the abreviations.

Hahahahaha, thats very funny. That kinda humour sort of reminds me of George of the Jungle... Cant wait 4 the next chapter!!!

it sounds about right for the beginning of Four Swords

i like i like, please continue the story

Chapter Three: Ya win some, Ya lose some

When we last saw our Heros things were looking dire, it was heating up in the Death Mountain Crater, they were in a tight spot in the Lost Woods, and the horse broke down in Hyrule
field, so things were not going over so well for the Links, however Zelda was having slightly better luck.

Vaati: Here you are my queen, fresh pig eyes.

Zelda: Ewww, I didn't ask for pig eyes.

Vaati: You most certainly did you

Zelda: SILENCE!

Vaati: *whimpers*

Zelda: Bring me, a latte!

Vaati: Right away! *dashs out in search of a starbucks*

Zelda: Hmm, I could get used to this. Oh look he left his Storm Cell again who to call, hmmm

*dialing*

Other End: Hello? Who is this? How did you get this number? Answer me!

Zelda: Whoa whoa whoa girl, calm down, it's Zelda.

Other End: Zelda? Oh right, how you doin girlfriend?

Zelda: Not bad girl, just inprisoned by this windbag mage.

Other End: Oh I know he didn't, where's that Hero of yours, whats his name, pink, jink, crossdresser?

Zelda: Ahem, Link?

OE: Oh yeah that's right, Link, where is he anyway?

Zelda: Hopefully on his way to rescue me, but he is a little thickheaded, I'll bet he is just playing some game.

OE: Yeah that's just like him, *loud blaring on other end* Whoa sorry girl, but I gotta go, Ridley is on my case again.

Zelda: Ok later.

While Zelda jokes, little does she know that one of our Links is indeed playing a game, albeit somewhat against his will.

Tingle: I spy with my little eye something......

RedLink&Darunia: red......

Tingle: Hey how'd you know?

RedLink: We are in a volcano, what else would there be in here!

Darunia: Rocks?

RedLink: You aren't helping.

Tingle: Hey hey hey, I spy with my little eye something

RedLink&Darunia: green, hehehe *smack*

Tingle: Owww, why do you guys keep beating me?

RedLink: Cause you are the smallest.

Darunia: We need a work out?

RedLinK: Speak for yourself there blubberboy.

Darunia: We've been over this.

Tingle: Ok Ok ok, I've got it this time, I spy with my little eye something

RedLink&Darunia: WHY! *cry*

As much fun as that looks, let's depart and head for the Lost Woods, where BlueLink is having problems of a different kind.

Bluelink: On 3! 1, 2, 3 PUSH!

Bluelink and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins pushed with all their might, trying to squeeze Loui through the small warp tunnel.

Loui: There is something hairy moving around in here..........AH! Spider! Spider! Get me out! Ah haha get me out!

Bluelink: NO! You are going through, I don't care whats in there. Now PUSH!

Small Child: Whatcha doin?

BlueLink&FHMRM: AHHHHHH!

Bluelink: Left arm, Tingling [wait a minute, we've used that joke] chest clenching, what do you want?

Small Child: I just wanted to know what you're doing.

BlueLink: Nothing that concerns you, just go away.

Small Child: That's not very nice Link.

Bluelink: What how do you know my name?

SC: Duh silly, I'm your best friend!

She steps out from the shadows to reveal herself to be, Saria!

Bluelink: Saria, why are you here?

Saria: Well it is my forest.

Bluelink: No it isn't, it's the Kokiri's forest.

Saria: Yeah, but I'm the Forest Sage, therefore it's my forest.

Bluelink: Yeah whatever, anyway we've got work to do, so stand aside.

Saria: Work? You are leaving the forest. Can I come too?!

Bluelink: No, we have important business to do.

Saria: Well I'm important, I can help.

FHMRM: *grumbling*

Loui: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bluelink: What is it Loui! Speak to me!

Loui: It's a goron, he is trying to put a bomb on me!

Bluelink: WHAT! Hey you in there stop, we need him to go your way, not this way!

Goron: Nope nope nope, gotta push him back, we don't want him.

Bluelink: Come on bud, we need him to go your way, the fate of Princess Zelda, Hyrule, and the known universe depends on it!

Goron: Really?

Saria: Really?

Loui: Really?

FHMRM: grumble something that sounds alot like "Really?"

Bluelink: Um, yes really.

All: Wow.

Goron: Ok, I'll let him through, *whistles* boys we need some grease in here, on the double.

Saria: So if it is so important can I come?

Bluelink: No you can, now that's not right, stop it, NO is NO is NO!

Saria who is giving them the sad puppy dog look, with the tearing eyes and the curling whimpering lip, starts begging.

Saria: Pweease, pweeeeeeaseee!

Bluelink: No, must resist, will not give in!

Saria: Please, I promise not to get in the way!

FHMRM: *shifting uncomfortably* Ok.

Bluelink: WHAT!

Saria: YAY! THank you(etc.) I promise you won't regret it!

Bluelink: To late.

Loui: Could we maybe hurry up and get me out of here.

Bluelink: I tell ya what Loui, me and Saria will take the long way, get on the other side and pull.

Loui: NO don't leave me here!

Saria: Don't worry! These guys will stay with you.

FHMRM: *shaking head no*

Saria: OKey Dokey!

BlueLink: See ya later Lou.

Thus Saria and BlueLink heading to the Zora's Domain warp to take a short cut, Loui remained in the tunnel, and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins all went to Kokiri Village to hang out, leaving Loui all alone with a pyrotechnic goron. Our sence changes to Hyrule field, to find out how fairs our Link duo at Lon Lon Ranch. As link and company sneaks along a wall......

Link: Du du du du dun dun dun dun du du du du du du du dun doo de do doo de do doo de do

Navi: Will you shutup already!

Purplelink: Yeah what's up with huming your own theme song?

Epona: Neigh.

Link: Ah come on guys, I'm trying to be suspenseful here.

Navi: Mission Impossible isn't suspenseful, it's repetative, and annoying.

Purplelink: Yeah, couldnt' you come up with something original?

Epo ah forget it, you know whats on her mind anyway.

Link: Well I don't see you coming up with anything.

Navi: Maybe because we don't want a theme song?

Purplelink: Maybe because we just want a horse so that we can rescue Zelda?

Link: Killjoy.

Navi: Just go.

As our group makes their way inside Lon Lon Ranch, Purplelink decides to simply just take a horse without asking Malon, not the best idea but

Link: Are you crazy?

Navi: First him and now you? Why do you hate me so goddesess?

Purplelink: Nah, trust me Malon won't mind, we can just take the horse and not have to bother Malon.

Link: I don't think this is a good idea.

Navi: Neither do I, but just to prove him wrong, I'll let him.

Purplelink: Thankyou, now we just slip in here unnoticed and then saddle a horse and get out of here, it'll go off like clockwork.

Link: Whatever.

Navi: Hmmm.

As Navi looks up she notices that Malon's bedroom light is on, so she decides to go inform her that one of her horses are being stolen, you can imagine the outcome.

Malon: WHAT! Link is trying to steal another one of my horses! Oh that does it!

Quite so, in a fuming rage Malon storms downstairs and outside to the stable grabbing a pitchfork on the way, I wonder what she is going to do with that?

Malon: Engarde!

Link: Huh?

Purplelink: What?

As the links turn around dumbfounded, not a hard task, Malon quickly attacks the purple clad one, unfortunatly for him, this time it was personal.

Purplelink: *high pitched girly voice* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Link: Oooo, that's harsh.

Malon: Wha? There are two of you? Oh well! *SMACK*

Link: *same* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Navi: Oooo hehehehehehehe, that has to hurt. Sorry guys, but I couldn't help myself.

Purplelink: *crying* Why did you do that, are you insane?

Link: Why why why!

Malon: Navi why are there two of them?

Navi: *laughing maniacly like the great faires do* Suffer! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Purplelink: What did I ever do to you Navi?

Link: Yeah I treated you like family, and this is how you repay me??

Malon: Um, why are there two of you?

Navi: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Epona: (might as well) Neigh.

Purplelink(stuggling to get up): Ok I think I can explain.

Link(who has passed out from the pain):......................................

Navi: Ok that was fun, so um Malon, can we borrow a horse?

Malon: Sure, why didn't you just ask?

Purplelink: Ah why didn't I think of that.

Malon: Take that one *points to a decrepid old donkey*

Purplelink: Oh how big of you.

Malon: Only the best.

Link: Wha what did I miss?

So after a quite painful meeting Link, Purplelink, Navi, Epona and Malon are all together now, plus the donkey that is about to die at any moment.

What will befall our Heros next?

Will Tingle ever get tired of that annoying game?

Will Loui ever get out of that warp tunnel?

Will Link and Purplelink ever be able to have kids?!

Will that old donkey ever make it out of the stable, to say nothing about Kakariko and even Death Mountain? Probably not.

Find out next time on Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, well sorta.

There we go, #3 is up, and just FYI I will be gone for a few days, so no updates most likely till next week. sorry

yum, fresh pig eyes :-D

love it! keep going!

I am so loving this! Can't wait until you get the next chapter up. Please?

Chapter Four: KakarikoVillage + DeathMountainCrater + Zora'sDomain = Pain and Suffering

Grim, that is the only way to describe the situation of Link&company(x4). No more need be said, so we will ju......
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<(foghorn>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>..oh very funny.

Our fair Hero's are exiting the Lost Woods/Zora's Domain warp tunnel when things get fishy!

Bluelink: Now we have to be careful Saria, dangerous creatures lurk about, waiting to pounce on us at every moment, just waiting to

Biped Fish: HI LINKY!

Bluelink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Run Saria! Don't turn back whatever you do just run for your life!

Saria: It's just Ruto link.

Bluelink: Just Ruto? Oh good I thought something horrible was going to happen!!!!!!!!!!

Ruto: Oh linky you are so cute when your angry.

Bluelink: Ok 2 things, 1 never call me "linky" again and 2 never call me cute.

Saria: Actually you are kinda cute when you get angry, your face get's all red and you stomp about.

Bluelink: Saria you aren't helping.

Ruto: What is she doing here linky? Is she trying to steal you away from me?

Bluelink: How many times have we been over this, Saria is just my friend, and you are just chum.

Saria: Just a friend?

Ruto: Chum?

Bluelink: Yes chum, you feed it to bigger fish, carnivorous fish!

Ruto: Oh linky your so funny, there are no bigger carnivorous fish around here.

Bluelink: *under his breath* yeah but there is in Termina.

Ruto: What?

Saria: What?

Bluelink: *straighting up* I said yeah but there isn't a terminal. *thinking to self* oh yeah, smooth.

Ruto&Saria: What?

Saria: I think all the humidity is getting to your head Link, lets get you out of here.

Ruto: Oh no you don't, *grabing one of Links arms and pulling* it's all that fairy dust and wood sprites that he hangs around with you!

Saria: *grabing his other arm and pulling* Maybe it's just the stench of fish guts coming from your putrid mouth!

Ruto: Maybe it's just the childish tantrums you throw when you don't get your way!

Bluelink: Um, can we settle this without involving me?

Ruto&Saria: SHUTUP!

Saria: You say I'm childish but look at you, miss scaley slavedriver!

Ruto: You hush your mouth you greenhaired forest freak!

Saria: Fishface!

Ruto: Treehugger!

Saria: *GASPS* YOUR DAD IS FAT!

Ruto: *GASPS* WELL YOU DON'T HAVE AND DAD!

Saria: *GASPS* wELL ATLEAST MY FATHER FIGURE IS HAS MORE WISDOM THAN FAT!

Ruto: WHY YOU LITTLE!

Saria: BRING IT ON!

Ruto and Saria immeditaly get into a fight, Ruto rips Saria's hair out, she in turn bites off fins and scales, it's not a pretty sight, but Link does seem to be enjoying himself.

Bluelink: You get her Saria, show her whose boss!

Ruto: Stay outta this linky!

Bluelink: I thought we talked about this whole linky thing.

Ruto tries to push Saria off the ledge and down into the water below but Saria falls on her back putting her feet into Ruto's midsection and pushing her over herself over the ledge and into the water below.

Bluelink: Oh please oh please oh please!

Saria: HA! Take that sister!

Ruto magically appears behind them and then kicks Saria off the ledge.

Bluelink: Hey! How did you do that, you are supposed to be dead. THERE ARE ROCKS DOWN THERE!

Ruto: Oh linky you don't get it do you, I'm a sage, sages can't die, no matter what you do to us we never die.

Bluelink: Oh really?! *Draws sword and hacks Ruto's head clean off*

Ruto's head magically appears back on her neck with no wounds of any kind.

Ruto: Linky there was no reason for that senseless act of violence.

Saria: NO BUT THERE IS FOR THIS ONE! HIYA!

Saria who is now weilding Links Megaton Hammer(which is about twice her size atleast) smashes Ruto's legs, breaking them of course, she then proceeds with an upper cut which sends Ruto down into what should be her watery grave.

Saria: HA! Eat that fishgirl.

Bluelink: Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou! *falls down bowing to Saria kissing her boots, giving them quite the shine* *sparkle*

Ruto: Not so fast!

Ruto is now weilding the most dangerous weapon of all, nothing not even Ganondorf can withstand it's mighty power! It is!,,,,, The Zora King being held up by some unknown magical force, it
would have to be some force though.

ZoraKing: How did I get here? I've never seen this place!

Ruto: That's because it would take 50 million years for you to get to the door daddy, and even then you would never fit. Bow before the sheer and awsome power that I have!

Saria: NEVER!

Bluelink: Um Saria you might want to reconsider. *link points above her head, she looks up to see the ZoraKing above her*

Saria: Yikes! Oh Ruto, I'm sorry, a thousand apologies *does a very quick curtsy(however it is spelled) and then drops and bows over and over so fast that she is almost doing pushups*

Ruto: And you linky?

Bluelink: Huh? Oh right me, um lookout behind you Ruto!

Ruto looks behind her then turns back

Ruto: Linky there is nothing *GASPS*!

She turns around to see Bluelink and carring a still bowing Saria and running for his life(quite so) for the Hyrule Field exit.

Ruto: GET BACK HERE! *magically throws the King at them*

Bluelink: AH! *leaps forward narrowly missing a certain and squishy death*

Ruto: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrr RETURN! *throws her hand back and the King starts flying in that direction* No wait NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *splat, squish, and anything else icky sounding* Eh my head it hurts.

ZoraKing: Hmm that's funny, I don't seem to remember moving that fast ever in my life! *shifts around* what could that peculiar feeling be.

Ruto: *muffeled* It's just me father, your sitting on me.

ZoraKing: Oh dear, my beloved Ruto, traped under my colosal persona! Hey while you are down there, could you scratch my lower back, it has been bugging me for ages.

Ruto: *crying* why me.

Let us quickly flee from that disturbing scene, I just know that is going to give me nightmares, anyway Bluelink and still bowing Saria head out across Hyrule field to reach Kakariko Village, however another of our Links, make that two, are already heading to Kakariko Village, with some difficulty however.

Purplelink: (who is riding the old donkey) Why do I always get the shaft?

Link: Because I'm the goodlooking one!

Purplelink: But we are exactly identical!

Link: Oh, then it's because I'm the smart one!

Purplelink: Again we are the same person.

Link: Oh, then it's because I'm the original one!

Purplelink: Now you are starting to make sense.

Navi: Will you two be quiet! I can't take it anymore one stupid thing after another is there no sane person out there!

Malon: Ahem, I'm here Navi.

Navi: Oh yeah.

Epona: Neigh.

OldDicrepidDonkey: (um,) donkey sounds.

Link: So, um what do we do now?

Purplelink: How about we go to the castle and see Zelda!

Link: Yeah that's a great idea!

Navi: Except for the fact that Zelda is at Vaati's Palace!

Link&Purplelink: Oh yeah.

Malon: I don't see how you put up with it Navi.

Navi: Special fairy patience.

Epona: Neigh.

ODD: Donkey sounds.

Link: So I suppose we should try to rescue her huh?

Navi: That's what we have been doing!

Link: Oh very well then.

Purplelink: Right so on to Kakariko!

Link: On to Kakariko!

Navi: Eh if ya can't beat em, On to Kakariko!

Malon: Join em, On to Kakariko!

They continued on until they reached the steps leading up to the Village.

Link: DISMOUNT!

Purplelink&Malon&Navi: HUH?

Link: Oh forget it just follow me.

He then proceeds to get off of Epona, leaving Malon still seated on her.

Malon: Ermmm Ahem!

Link: Oh right.

As he walks over Malon begins falling gracefully towards his arms, but he just grabs his bow and walks away.

*Thump*

Malon: LINK!

Link: Huh?

Navi: Oh yeah smoothe link, let the lady fall flat on her face.

Purplelink: Link you are such a clutz hahahahahaha ooooffffffff. *falls off of Donkey*

ODD: Donkey sounds.

Epona: Neigh.

Link: Oh sorry Malon *picks her up and stands her up* There ya go.

Purplelink: Come on we gotta get going. *starts heading up the stairs*

Navi: Yeah let's go. *follows him*

Link: Ok come on Malon, quit lagging behind.

Malon: I hate him.

All the band aside from Epona and ODD went up to Kakariko, and once they were out of ear shot, Epona looked this way and that, then stood up on her hind legs leaned back against wall and
digged in her saddlebags pulling out a pipe and bubbles?

Epona: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that feels so good.

ODD: You said it youngin. *blows bubbles*

Epona: I don't know why I let them ride me, I mean Link with all his junk has got to weigh atleast 250 lbs. and Malon could stand to lose a few pounds too!

ODD: Hey well I had that same 250 on me ya know, and I'm about dead!

Epona: True gramps, but Malon is just trying to get rid of you anyway. It's genocide I tell ya!

ODD: She is? I knew it, she always did give me that look, you know the one!

Epona: You mean the I'm going to kill you look?

ODD: Yeah! that's it!

Epona: *sighs* Maybe she should kill you.

ODD: Eh? What's that! Speak up missy.

Epona looks around, then clonks him on the head killing him.

Epona: Was bound to happen sooner or later.

Someone walking out of Kakariko rounds the corner and hears Epona say what she just said.

Kakarian: Um, uh.

Epona get back down on all 4s: Neigh.

Kakarian: Ok, you did not just see a horse talking, you don't need anymore therapy, you are perfectly normal, you eh are hehe per hehehe fect heheheheeeheheheheh norm muHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Runs off screaming*

Epona: And they say horses have problems, Neigh.

The secret life of horses, who knew?! Anyway we better check up on our gang in the DeathMountainCrater.

Tingle: I spy with my little eye something

Redlink whispering to Darunida: You whack him with the rock, then I'll block him into the lava, hut one hut two break!

Darunia then runs over and boots Tingle over towards Redlink, who then leaping hicks Tingle(who is curled up into a ball now) right inbetween the two rocks in the crater.

Redlink: It's up its up...........

Darunia: And it's good!

*Crowds cheering*

Magical lights flash and and smoke comes up from the lava, and all of the sudden poof!

Tingle: Ahhhhhh, hey I'm not burning.

Redlink: Why is he still here?

Darunia: I'm not sure, I mean the only people who could survive that would be a sage or a fairy.

Tingle: YES! Really! Then at last Tingle has proof that he is a fairy!

Redlink: No you aren't.

Darunia: I fear that we must admit he is a sage, of um, something.

Tingle: No my silly rock eating friend, Tingle is a fairy, you said so yourself.

Darunia: Not exactly, you are choosing my words for your own personal gain.

Redlink: But he can't be a sage, what would he be the sage of?

Just then a big man in a robe appeared.

BMIR: Indeed he is a sage!

Redlink: You are kidding right?

Darunia: It would seem not.

BMIR: No he is a sage.

Redlink: And how would you know?

BMIR: Because stupid I am a sage.

Darunia: Then why haven't I seen you?

Redlink: Let's see what other big fat guys do I know, lets see there is Darunia

Darunia: Hey!

Redlink: KingZora

Tingle: And........

Redlink: Um, that does it.

BMIR: You are pretty thick aren't you?

Darunia: You have no idea.

BMIR: I guess I'll have to just tell you. It is I RAURU!

Redlink&Darunia&Tingle: Oh. So?

Rauru: I am the sage of light, therefore I know who is and isn't a sage.

Redlink: Really? Am I a sage?

Rauru: No.

Redlink: Awwww, I want a second opinion.

Rauru: Well you can't have one. Yes Tingle is a sage, so get used to it.

Redlink: Oh yeah, then what is he the sage of?

Tingle: Of fairies!

Darunia: Of short 35yearoldmen wearing tights?

Rauru: Nope, of Maps!

Redlink&Darunia: Maps? A sage of Maps?

Redlink: Do we really need a sage of maps?

Rauru: Yes, because you are an idiot.

Darunia: Yes you are.

Tingle: Don't worry MR. Fairy, Tingle thinks you are brave and strong, but also stupid.

Redlink: You are so comforting.

Rauru: Anyway you need him to get into the dungeons.

Redlink: You really hate me don't you.

Rauru: Yes actually, it's on my card. *shows him business card* see it says right there "I hate Link."

Redlink: This is cruel and unusal and you know it.

Rauru: Yep, have fun. *disappears*

Tingle: Don't you worry Mr. Fairy, Tingle knows what will cheer you up! I know a song that gets on everybodies nerves!

Redlink: WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

Hmm that is most unfortunate for Redlink, but fortunate for Tingle, I suppose that is a good thing, but probably not.

Will Bluelink ever get to Kakariko Village alive?

Will Saria ever stop bowing?

Will Ruto ever make it out from under the biggest Zora in all of Hyrule?

Will Epona ever break her bubble addiction? Will she reveal Link that she can talk?

Will that Random Kakarian ever be normal! Again probably not.

Will(that's alot of wills) Loui and the Moblins who were absent from this chapter make it into the next chapter?

Will Redlink,Darunia and the new sage Tingle ever find the Dungeon?

Will Tingle ever tire of annoying us all? I think you know the answer to that.

For these and other exciting questions tune in next time for

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: FOUR SWORDS, well sorta.

You thought I forgot about Zelda didn't you? Hahahaha, well actually I did until just now, here is what is going on in her neck of the woods.

Vaati: Here is your double deluxe latte!

Zelda: *sips it* This latte is COLD! Get me another *throws it at him*

Vaati: Yes my, hey wait a minute, why am I doing all this for you, you are my prisoner!

Zelda: Ah yes but if you want me to be your queen you will have to try harder than this.

Vaati: *thinks it over* Um ok, one more latte coming up. *dashs out in the usual fashion*

Zelda: Hmm, what could be taking them so long, I better call them just to make sure they are on their way.

*Dials*

OE: Helloooa?

Zelda: Where are you you poor excuse for a rescue?

OE: I'ma busy, peachs voicea just gota stolen, I'll haveta do thisa first.

Zelda: Oh alright fine perhaps I can find someone else to help thanks anyway Mario.

Mario: I'lla be there as soon as I cana.

Zelda: Hmmm, who else could I call?

Just then one of the huge windows in the place breaks open and a small space ship is outside it hovering, a hatch opens and a powerful looking suit jumps out and lands on the ground looks around then runs up to Zelda.

PLS: I've come to rescue you Zelda! I heard you were in distress, and I'm here to save you!

Zelda: And you would be?

PLS: Don't you recognize me?

Zelda: Not particularly, what game are you from?

PLS: That's easy I'm from the Metroid series, I'm Houston!

Zelda: Hmmm Houston houston, nope not coming up with it.

Houston: What do you mean, I've fought along side Samus Aran!

Zelda: No you didn't.

Houston: Yes yes I did, it was in Super Metroid.

Zelda: No you, oh wait I remember.

Houston: Yes see I told you.

Zelda: No you weren't in the game, you were just Nintendo Power's comic strip about Super Metroid, you aren't real.

Houston: I'm standing here aren't I, I'm talking to you aren't I? That makes me real!

Zelda: Yes phyically speaking, but you haven't been immortalized in a game, therefore you could die at any moment and not come back to life later.

Houston: I can?! *gasp* Then I've gotta get out of here! What if that big mean mage comes back, he could give me a fate worse than death!

Zelda: What's worse than death?

Houston: Being forgotten!

Zelda: Right anyway, I hate to break it to ya, but you already are forgotten.

Discouraged Houston walks away and gets back in his ship and leaves.

Zelda: Poor guy, wait and minute what am I doing? I COULD HAVE BEEN RESCUED! Wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok I'm really done this time, tune in next time for
Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, well sorta

A little longer than I like.. but I like this! It is very funny, I especially loved Ruto and Saria's fight!

Yeah it was a bit to long for my fingers too(I just know I'm going to have severe arthritis when I'm 30) but still funny.