Haiku Battle 3: Andi vs. Crab Helmet

ANDI VS. CRAB HELMET

Da Rules

- The battle shall last ONE HOUR

- You can only post Haiku in reply to each other

- Each of you has a 7 minute slot in which to think up and Post a Haiku in reply (in which the other contestant MUst wait for to be up before posting again if they're ready with another haiku.)

- You can double post (a ferocious attack!) with another haiku if the other doesn't reply in time (and longer). Missing your turn can lose you points.



NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO POST IN THIS THREAD OTHER THAN ANDI AND CRAB HELMET >=OOO (if anybody else tries, I will have them vaporized with my waffle iron)


Battle Date and Time: Saturday, September 13. Time: 20:00GMT or 16:00usEST.

Thanks, Anime_Queen, for the opening thread format

(May I have a lock, plz? =3)

I'm unlocking this thread so it's ready for the contestants when the battle begins. NO ONE may post here except for the competitors, and ONLY after the battle start time. thank you.

The early bird will
Always catch the worm, andi.
I'm going to win.

Most early birds win -
Those who have the smarts to learn
how to tell the time.

Ah, reality.
It is subjective. My time
Differs from your time.

Greenwich Mean Time is
A standard measurment. Sheesh.
Dumb postmodern men.

Actually, I'm
completely up to date, fool.
I use UTC.

(OoH: Note. UTC is Universal Time Co-ordinated, which is like the really scientific version of GMT. Wiki it. Also, OoH stands for Out of Haiku, if I'm allowed to do such a thing.)

The typical male.
Missing the whole point and then
Blaming it on her.

(OoH: <3)

Pah, females. Leaping
To farfetched conclusions with
No good evidence.

(OoH: Farfetched is two syllables. I checked my rhyming dictionary next to me. "Faar - fetch'd".)

Evidence abounds.
Guys just have a strange habit
Of ignoring it.

You are wrong, andi,
Because of the ancient rule:
"Quod Ego Dico".

(OoH: It means "Because I said so" in Latin. Pro bono publico, lads!)

What do you want now?
Me to go in the kitchen
And make sammiches?

Yes, please. While you're there,
A lager would be welcomed.
Female slaves - great things.

Thankfully that 'tude
Is man's own downfall. You'd starve
In a grocery store.

Grocery store? Pah!
Carrots and beans - rabbit food!
A real man eats meat.

(OoH: Again, real is considered one syllable, "reel")

How could men who can't
Open their own cans of beer
Learn to hunt for prey?

I can open beer -
Look at these mighty muscles.
Where as you... heh heh.

All your muscles are
In the wrong place, dear. A few
Should be in your head.

The brain is composed
Of neurons. No muscles there.
Go back to school, girl.

Time has run out, fool.
Seven minutes has been breached.
Double haiku, go!