ZU Paint Adventures Thread!

ZU Paint Adventures

Instructions: The command ">I" will open the inventory. "> Be the [character]" switches perspectives.

This thread is a sort of forum game inspired by MS Paint Adventures, an amazing sort of webcomic created by the phenomenal Andrew Hussie.

Basically, it's like a visual text adventure, where the readers input commands. I'll draw a panel, mostly using MSPA's namesake, and you guys tell me or the characters what to do, preferably in a single sentence. Unless they're too unfounded, I'll probably use each one.

As a sort of MSPA tribute, each important object, place, or character will be written in CAPS LOCK.



If you have any ideas, want me to include a fan character, or have any questions, just drop a VM.

Ready?

Well, here I go:

Adventure 1: The Grim Augur

Act 1 of 3



A man stands in his bedroom. Little does he know that this day would be one of the most significant of his life. It happens to be his 21st birthday, the day of his first job interview, and also the beginning of a cosmic upheaval which will change his life forever. One of those things is untrue.
Although he is now an adult, he doesn't seem to have a name.

What was it, again?

> dickbutt stinkerbell

What kind of doofus would have the same name as his favorite mystery writer?



You keep this BACK COVER with you at all times, just so you can think about how amazing Ms. Stinkerbull, the foremost pulp fiction writer of this generation, is.

For real, though, what was his name?

=> Loyd Fisher

Originally Posted by Calliope

=> Loyd Fisher

Loyd Fisher? You like that name.



It sounds nice and polite, but the single 'l' makes you seem unique. You're glad that your DEAR MOTHER gave you that name.




Author note: I'm working on the main introduction page. It should be up by now, but I'm having some issues with the image. Sorry!

=>walk to the kitchen

>Loyd Fisher: Put on some pants

Your name is LOYD. You have a thing for MYSTERY NOVELS, PC GAMES, and the color BLUE. As said before, DICKBUTT STINKERBELL is your favorite author, ever. Your neighbor TYKWONDO downstairs thinks you only like her ironically, but he's wrong. He's just so hipster, he thinks everyone is always sarcastic.

"When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."- Jean Piaget

Today is the INTERVIEW for your first job at BREEZY ISLAND STUDIOS, an independent game developer which you have admired since its conception, last year. Also, it's your BIRTHDAY. Sadly, the only person who you could celebrate this occasion with is your neighbor downstairs, but he's way to hipster to go to something as mainstream as your birthday party. You happen to have several CHUMMY ACQUAINTANCES online, but sadly your computer is "in the shop", for a very odd virus. Unfortunately, that's really your only connection to the outside world, besides TYKWONDO.
Your online handle is twistedAlgorithm, and you tend to spell words intensionly incorrectly, to confuze and amaze your friends.
The ones online, at least.

---------- Post added at 06:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:51 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Vriska

>Loyd Fisher: Put on some pants

=> straighten your tie a little, birthday boy. you don't want to look like you fell down a bunch of stairs (in a tie) at your big interview, do you?

go buy a pair of arms from the mall across the street.

Originally Posted by 8bit

Kill the president.

No. Thankfully, you aren't a sociopath, unlike the GIRL DOWN THE HALL. You do, however, have a copy of Sid Meier's Assassins: Live the Life lying around, but, like you said, your don't have access to your computer. Luckily, it's supposed to come later this morning.

---------- Post added at 06:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:56 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Calliope

=> straighten your tie a little, birthday boy. you don't want to look like you fell down a bunch of stairs (in a tie) at your big interview, do you?

HAPPY NOW?

And, you don't plan on falling down any steps any time soon. Your dear MOTHER broke a leg that way!

---------- Post added at 07:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:59 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Sollux

=>walk to the kitchen

Now what?

Anyways, you'd better get going. Your interview starts at 9:00 AM. What time is it now?



As the smelly booksmith would say, Zounds! You've got to get going soon.

---------- Post added at 07:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:17 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Terezi

go buy a pair of arms from the mall across the street.

I suppose one detour wouldn't hurt...

---------- Post added at 07:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:18 PM ----------

BROTIP: Press 'I' to open the (now empty inventory) and use the phrase 'Be ______' to shift perspectives.

be the GIRL DOWN THE HALL

You cannot be the GIRL DOWN THE HALL. Yet. You must first obtain a pair of arms.



You go out your door, hoping not to be too loud. The cute girl down the hall tends to sleep late, and you don't want to wake her up. She scares you sometimes.



You walk past TYKWONDO's room. He's carved 'keep out' in crude letters onto the door. On closer inspection, it appears to be written with a very sharp black colored pencil. You taste the door. Crayola. The strong waxy smell wafts into your nose, until you realize something. You're licking the door of your neighboor, who, like most other hipsters, doesn't shower.



Author note: I don't dislike hipsters, but this character is supposed to be intolerant of them. Also, you guys can treat my VM wall like Andrew Hussie's formspring.

> DoWn A mOtHeR♥♥♥♥inG fAyGo AnD tHeN bUsT tHrOuGh ThAt DoOr

After downing some FAYGO you found outside the door, you engage FAYGO POWER MODE.



With the strength of CLOWNISH TROUBADOURS TWOFOLD you prepare to break down the door.



---------- Post added at 08:25 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:17 PM ----------



Let's do this.



Oh god the pain.

Originally Posted by 8bit

> Contemplate post-structuralist existentialism

You aren't exactly sure what that is. You did take an elementary Psychology course last year, and remember that Structuralism is the school of thought based on finding the structure of mental processes and learning how they work together.

"The whole is more than the sum of its parts."- Bruce Willis

>Inject yourself with 'roids, smash door with roid rage

>Suddenly lose the ability to speak English.

Originally Posted by Vriska

>Inject yourself with 'roids, smash door with roid rage

With all the imagination you can mutter, you form an unfathomably realistic ROID NEEDLE, which you inject to yourself. Good gog, if your mother could see you know...

Let's try this again.





GOD. DAMMIT.

As you gaze upon your swollen mandible, you step back and think. What sort of story would this be, had your hands meant to stay injured? Certainly not one this adventure would allow.

Allow me to rewind this timeline for a bit, to a point where your two fists contain intact bones and undamaged tissues.

As you take your swig of Faygo, you think. Do you need to do this? What would you gain by awaking your perpetually irate neighbor? You've never punched a door in your life, never mind a solid-mahogany portal ordered from a small factory on the Isle of Man, owned by a hipsterish fellow with a penchant for punching those deemed lesser.

Tu no puedes hablas ingles ahora, porque este hombre no esta inteligente. Tu caminas a la piso de compras.

This is incredibly stupid.

If I may offer some advice Val?


Don't go using so many Homestuck references "gog, faygo (i know it's a real thing but come on), THIS IS STUPID, etc"


You need to come up with your own unique vocab stuff, something that sets your adventure apart from the others.

It'll make it seem much uh...better? That's totally not the right word I was looking for but yeah. More original I guess

Pretty soon there's gonna be a MAJOR PLOT TWIST involving hand-drawn panels, which will be like the Grim Augur's equivalent to flash updates.

Also, yes, that's a great idea, to avoid Homestuck in-jokes. I only used the Faygo because Gamzee suggested it, but the others were in the vein of unoriginal Family Guy- or Scary Movie-style comedy.