So, yeah! Here's where I'll post special features and stuff for my podcast segment from
November 2009! I like to do extra stuffs for everything, so, no, I'm not crazy. At least not
too crazy.
TRANSCRIPT:
“The Legend of Zelda: Modern Warfare” Script
The Second ZUCast Segment by EzloSpirit
"Greetings, Zelda Universe (and anybody else that may be listening to this)! This is
ZU’s very own Wacky Minish, EzloSpirit! I’m on your awesomely awesome podcast this month because of something Power Shot said last podcast. Too bad, Power Shot! Because, at the rate Nintendo is going, they will have muskets…and eventually AK-47’s and Bazookas!
I present to you the future of the Legend of Zelda series: “The Legend of Zelda: Electric Guitar of Time” or “The Legend of Zelda: Modern Warfare.”
LoZ: Modern Warfare is a dark tale about a plot by the evil king Ganondorf to launch nuclear missiles at all the major provinces in Hyrule: Forest, Hylia, Gerudo, Zora, and Mountain, as well as Hyrule Castle and Hyrule Market.
The game begins with a young boy (who is wearing a green t-shirt, green camouflage pants, and a green baseball cap, by the way) waking up in his treehouse (which is made of stainless steel) in the Kokiri Forest. As usual, he sees all the other Kokiri children holding their companions, walkie-talkies. Shortly afterwards, the Great Deku Screen (a giant PC loaded with Windows 7) lets the boy use him to log on to Zelda Universe, where he actually felt accepted. For some random (or no reason), the Great Deku Screen then gives him his own walkie-talkie, named Navi. The boy felt like changing Navi’s name to GPS because GPS systems, well, navi (-gate). Then the Great Deku Screen is infected by…the evil 2KY computer virus! The young boy (who, by the way, is named Linksys) then goes into the Deku Screen’s motherboard, armed with his mighty Kokiri Laser Gun, and vanquishes the virus. On the way to the virus, he obtains the pistol.
Later, Linksys embarks on a valiant quest to save Princess Zelda. After Linksys opens the door into the Time Machine using Royal Family’s Electric Guitar of Time, he draws out the Lightsaber (it’s green!), and falls asleep for seven years because the Lightsaber’s handle was covered in chloroform. He wakes up to a world ravaged by nuclear radiation. Eventually, he kills Ganondorf. And he smashes GPS because it had a much, much more annoying voice than Navi the Fairy from Ocarina of Time.
Other items in the game include the remote mines, shotgun, sniper rifle, sledgehammer, Steel Boots, harpoon, the Bifocals of Being-Able-to-See, jetpack, Reflective Surface, and bazooka. And you have to keep a good eye on your Ammo Bar when using some of these items on your quest for the three sacred Lithium Batteries and the six Card Keys.
So there you have it, people! The future of The Legend of Zelda series is looking very modern and Call of Duty-like. Soon after, we’ll probably be looking at a Star Trek/Halo Zelda title. That will be something.
I hope it’s clear I made this whole thing up, but if it isn’t, first of all, that’s kind of sad and, second of all, I made it up. So yeah!
This is EzloSpirit, the Wacky Minish of
ZU (who is still getting over a cold), signing off! And remember, big things come in small packages. And green hats. See ya!"
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Now, for a limited time (will take off in January), you can listen to/download for yourself the
Original, Unedited "LoZ: Modern Warfare File!!!!!" It's not much different from the aired version, except there's no music. I would have posted the final copy, but I never actually got the file. But that's okay, too!
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COMMENTARY:
(COMING SOON!)
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DESCRIPTION/CREDITS (found in "Lyrics" in iTunes on the original file):
Hello, again! This is that Wacky Minish guy! You know, from that first segment? About the Wind Waker islands? Yeah, I'm him. And I'm here today because I have a special report about the future of The Legend of Zelda series! This is "The Legend of Zelda: Modern Warfare," the next best (or worst) action adventure video game (and it's science fiction!). I'll tell you about the main character, Linksys, and his annoying companion, GPS (formerly called Navi) the walkie-talkie. I'll tell you about new items such as the pistol and bazooka, plus the sacred Electric Guitar of Time! You don't want to miss this all-new exciting adventure that will hopefully never become a reality! So yeah. Please feel free to send/leave me feedback by doing one of the following things: leave me your feedback in a VM, send your feedback in a PM, or leave your feedback in the Podcast Discussion and Feedback thread located in the Community Central forum. If you want to send general feedback about this episode of the ZUCast, PM your feedback to Liah or e-mail it to ZUBC[at]zeldauniverse.net.
COMPLETE CREDITS:
Host:
EzloSpirit
Writer:
EzloSpirit
Producer:
EzloSpirit
Preliminary Editor:
EzloSpirit
Music (in ZUCast version):
Koji Kondo
Toru Minegishi
(Music from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Used by the ZUBC without permission.)
FOR THE ZUBC:
Executive Producer:
Liah
Co-Producer:
Hombre de Mundo
Editors:
Margar
Aniday
Public Relations Manager/Correspondent:
Dom
PR Correspondent:
Awkin
General Hosts:
Margar
Cody
Special Thanks:
Liah (thanks for all your support and help through the process of making this segment what it is)
Margar & Aniday (thanks for all your help in editing this for the 'cast and putting in music, etc.)
ZUCast: November 2009 (c)2009 Zelda Universe Broadcasting Corporation
(c)2009 All rights reserved.
Ocarina of Time, Ganondorf, Hyrule Castle, Kokiri, Gerudo, Zora, Hylia, Navi, and all other related elements (c)1998 Nintendo
Linksys (c) Cisco
Lightsaber (c)1977 LucasFilm
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(MORE COMING SOON, POSSIBLY!)
11-22-2009, 07:37 AM
"LoZ: Modern Warfare" Podcast Segment Official Thread!!! 
