Akitsune

[Akìtsune]

Name: Akìtsune

Age: 19

Sex: Male

Race: Human

Height: 6'4"

Weight: 165

Eyes: Green-Blue

Hair: This


Weapons:
His bow, Takune, made of fine Dogwood. His arrows, which the tips are made of Neithril, are also made of Dogwood. (Neithril is a dark, almost black metal said to match that of reinforced steel.) He carries the arrows in a cowhide quiver, big enough to carry 85 arrows. Akìtsune also has two 1’5” daggers that he keeps attached under his forearms. There names are Darkesì (Dar-kay-see) and Zarkesì (Zar-kay-see).

Armour:
Akìtsune wears a light Neithril link armour vest under a camouflaged cloak. The cloak was an heirloom to his father yet he wears it. (See History) He also wears a pendant (See Abilities) given to him from his new father, Rakusune (See History).

Abilities/Armour Abilities:
Akìtsune’s pendant gives him the ability to attune his reflexes for four seconds. During this four second period, he can read the path of projectiles and the paths of enemies. He would use this in a time of an arial attack or when he was in a battle where the odds were against him. He uses the pendant by holding his index and middle finger over the gem that makes up the pendant.
His cloak gives him the ability to blend in with his surroundings. He could be crouched down in a clearing with shrubs and plants, his cloak would be able to mimic the surroundings giving him a place to shelter and tend to his wounds.

Demonic Rage: When Akìtsune goes into Demonic Rage, he becomes more aggressive and more prone to his surroundings.. While in Demonic Rage his eyes “fog” over with a red cloudiness.

Hell’s Fury: Hell’s Fury is when he shoots five arrows into ground in the shape of the circle. Then, he shoots one last arrow into the center of the circle summoning a demon named “Berial the Betrayer”. (Fire)
Berial: Berial stands five feet tall and is able to command fire at will. When defeated the surounding 10 yards becomes engulfed in flames.
Some of Berial's Abiltities inculde:

Reign of Fire: Reign of fire is when Berial calls down seven demoic imps to fight for him. Each imp is three feet tall, and controls the element fire.

Sea of Flames: Sea of Flames is when Berial, for six seconds, sends out sheets of fire at enemies. Each wave lasts for one second and does the damage of a two-handed sword strike.

Strengths: Akìtsunes has great exceptional ranging skills. Also, being taught from his father, he can navigate using a map. He can swim fairly well, although if faced with a river or large body of water that is moving, he would much rather jump through the trees. Akìtsune also has the standard survival skills(Making shelter, building a fire...ect.).

Weakness:
He has a scar across his left breast from a battle fought long ago. This scar never healed properly and has been his one true weakness ever since. He also has the weakness of not being a very quick thinker. When puzzled by his surroundings it could take him up to ten minutes for him to finally sort out where he is and what he is to do about it. Akìtsune is weak in the arts of defense of close range fighting.

Magic: None

Appearance: Akìtsune is a taller than average human. He has a tattoo of a dragon on his right shoulder blade. He has grey hair that is medium in length.He wears gloves looking like this.He also wears leather bracers on both arms, and carries a cowl in his bag. Underneath his main chest armour, he wears his Neithril chain link amrour.

Personality: Akìtsune is a calm and collective person. He may not be very bright, but he knows how to enjoy a good time with friends or family. During battle he will not speak a word of break concentration. He has the mind set of a champion, yet the attention span of a 9 year-old. If you were to see him walking, he would most likely be looking at the ground, or kicking a pebble.

History:
Akìtsune was born in Akito, Hikario. His father died while fighting in the Tohiro-Sankati. He was four when this tragedy occurred. One of the soldiers, who later married Akìtsune’s mother, gave him his fathers old pendant. Rakusune became Akìtsunes greatest friend and mentor. He taught Akìtsune how to shoot a bow and arrow, defend himself against attack, and the skills of navigation.

When Akìtsune turned thirteen, his mother gave him is fathers old cloak. Not knowing his father he thought it was just an ordinary cloak. One day, he was being chased by two kids wanting to take the cloak from him. Using his knowledge he jumped into a patch of bushes. Assuming that he was going to be beaten, he waited there. The kids came along and searched the bushes. Akìtsune knew that they were looking right at him but they were not lunging at him. They went off down the path still searching for him. Why did they not attack me? They were looking right at me…Was it the cloak that hid me?

When Akìtsune turned fifteen, he moved out of his village to begin living on his own in the world. He came to a town called Nojimi. There he bought a bow and arrow set that came with a cowhide quiver. He also asked the local blacksmith to customize two daggers and arrow heads for him. This purchase cost him the rest of his remaining money. He spent the next few months living off stealing food from the market stalls and homing in his skills to win money off challenges during the city festivals.
One year after leaving Nojimi for good, he came across a old burned down village. He faintly recognized some of the old signs and other such minorities. He saw one old man kneeling beside a burned down hut crying. He walked over to the man asking,
“What happened here sir?”

The man replied softly, “The Tohiro Army came and wiped our village out…”

When Akìtsune heard Tohiro, he collapsed and shead one tear for his father. While holding out a sack of coins, he said “ I ask that you take this. I do not need this extra coin. You need it more than I. Take it, find a new home and family.”

After telling the man this, he stood up and walked off into the woods on a mission. The mission being to bring down the Tohiro Army.

[Euphoria]

This is pretty good for a first character. Here's what I qould like you to fix up:

- He needs a strengths section. Things like being skilled with the bow, good survival skills etc. go in here.

- Elaborate on the pendant. How does he use it? How does it work? When does he use it?

- Include a set of clothes in your 'Appearances' section.

That is all, I think. Excellent job for a first time ^^;

EDIT - I have a tiny niggle with your bio. It's just a little formatting error.

“What happened here sir?”
The man replied softly, “The Tohiro Army came and wiped our village out…”
When Akìtsune heard Tohiro, he collapsed and shead one tear for his father.
While holding out a sack of coins, he said “ I ask that you take this. I do not need this extra coin. You need it more than I. Take it, find a new home and family.”
After telling the man this, he stood up and walked off into the woods on a mission. The mission being to bring down the Tohiro Army.

You were right to put a line between the words of Akitsune and the old man, but here in the BA we format it further. It should read like this:

“What happened here sir?”

The man replied softly, “The Tohiro Army came and wiped our village out…”

When Akìtsune heard Tohiro, he collapsed and shead one tear for his father. While holding out a sack of coins, he said “ I ask that you take this. I do not need this extra coin. You need it more than I. Take it, find a new home and family.”

After telling the man this, he stood up and walked off into the woods on a mission. The mission being to bring down the Tohiro Army.

It may look too spaced out, but it is just the way we do things here :]

[Jason]

(For clarification on the paragraph issue, there are two ways to produce a paragraph: indent style, and box style. Indent style is not available on the forums; the software does not allow you to indent text. Therefore you must use box style, and put a full line break in between each paragraph, or each "box".)

[Akìtsune]

I think I got it... Hopefully... If not... I can always try again....

[Euphoria]

Sorry for the wait. I had gone from the internet for a few days and (blame-shift!) none of the Councillors replied when I asked them to finish up the character.

<~Approved~>