Taku Isona

Name: Taku Isona
Age: 19
Race: Human
Sex: Male
Hair: White/Silverish
Eyes: Brown
Weight: 5 St. (69 lb)
Height: 186 cm (6 ft 1.1 in)

Weapon: Two Black Glowing Sabers, Has power to slice through Metal Except Steel and Titanium, weak against Holy Magic, Shields (Eg: Light, Holy Shields)

Armor: He has no armor

Strengths: Major: Agility (Faster than the average Human known), Accuracy (Pinpoint Location with Exact Reaction Moment), Armed Combat (Can Create Simple and Advanced Moves with Weapons combined with Magic also)
Strengths: Minor: Unarmed Combat (Knows Some Unarmed Combat From Kai Tsuijen Arts, Mystical Arts (Darui Ugna Arts, Perform Dark Attackd with Unarmed Combat Combined together with More powerful Sucessive Blows)

Weakness: Lightning Magic (Thunder, Thunder Sabers), Fire (Since the incident with His Parents in the House Fire), Full Power/Berserkness (If He Loses Focus and goes Berserk, He will Hesitate but Attacks are Harder)

Skills/Magic: Dark Balls (Creates a Ball with Pure Black Energy, Free to throw and control) Healing (Cure Magic, Mix herbs and make 1 cure Spell, heals most attributes back to normal)

Appearance: Very Light Brown Skin, Black Spiky hair from the front. Two Sabers in Slots left and right that are Black, His sabers Change from Light Green To Black as he Takes them out of the Sheathes, He has a Black Cloak On, Underneath he has a Brown Shirt with no Arms, when he takes his cloak off, he is sometimes cold when he takes it off, so he mostly waers his black cloak, He has a Black

Personality: Active, (Runs a lot, he practiced around The Village's Lake doing Laps) Brave (Steps up to almost any challenge), Serious (Sometimes Jokes about Something), He is always Quiet, He will Open up to his most known Friends as he hangs around with People, He takes things for reason and does not take no for an answer, He will stand up to anyone that he faces and dosent give up

Biography: He lived in the Depths of America, Origionally born in Japan, he moved back to Japan when somebody was chasing him, The Man wanted his Family's Secret Arts, then, his house was burned and his parents killed, he managed to escape to a nearby village that was named Iwato Village, A Trainer who lived in the village took him in as a son because of what he was in shock of what Taku had told him, The Trainer told his name to Taku, He was called Andar, he trained him with the mystical arts of the village, Taku was assinged to Protect the King of Ratun because he was the best Person in the village, Taku was Fast and Brave since he trained with Andar, But then, as Ninja's went on a rampage to assassinate the King, The Man who Killed Taku's Parents Paid the Ninja's to attack, but never prevailed because of Taku, But one misty day, Ninja's ambushed the King and Taku by Closing Off any Entrances, an Estimated count of 1 Thousand Nija's attacked The King and Taku, his bodyguards defeated by Advanced Teniques, The King surrendered, Taku did not, he was thrown out of the Village to be Beheaded By a Big Boned Man.

He woke up the minute he saw the sword swing at his head, he kicked the Assassinator in the stomach, and cut himself free. Taku Escaped and Trys to this very day.

Not too bad but there's room for improvement.

First off, his sabers' ability to cut through any metal except holy ones is a little too strong. I would like to see you lower that a bit.

Second, I would like you to go into detail about his strengths and weaknesses. How agile is he? Could he dodge almost any attacks thrown at him or is he just somewhat faster than the average human? Also, the weakness of 'good characters' is kind of confusing. Could you elaborate on that one?

Third, his appearance and personality is rather skimpy. For his appearance, we need to know what Taku actually looks like, not just his clothing and equipment. Does he have light colored skin? Is he skinny looking or just right for his age? Details like that. For his personality, try to go more in depth with what you mentioned. Is he so laid back that he hardly takes anything seriously? Does he talk to almost anyone he meets? Both sections need at least a paragraph on them.

Lastly, his Biography needs some work. First off, the plot of having parents killed then some guy taking him in and teaching him how to fight is rather overused. Why was someone chasing him? Why did the Trainer take him in and who was this Trainer? Why would someone who just appeared out of the blue be assigned to guard the king? How did the ninjas finally corner the king? A biography needs plenty of detail. Remember, it's Taku's entire life; I'm sure there's more to it than just this.

Alrighty, edit those things and I'll take another look at him.

Edited, anything else?

Okay, that’s better. However, he’s still missing some things.

Right, his appearance and personality are still a little weak. Tell us what the armor he wears looks like. Or the look of his sabers. As for his personality, how would he act around people he’s never met? How would someone make friends with him so that he would open up? How is he active? Both sections need to be about a paragraph long.

If you need any ideas, you can look at my characters or other approved ones. So, expand on those and I’ll take another look at him.

I edited again

Alrighty. ^_^

*Approvedeth*