Sukray Olash, the Wanted Teen

Name: Sukray Olash
Name he thinks when he is young: Sunkray Voon
Age:19
Race: Human
Sex: Male
Hair: Light brown/blonde.His hair depends on where he is.He does nothing to his hair and so it stays the same/changes to its suroundings
Eyes: blue/ comletley white(when in demon form)
Weight: 95 lbs.
Height: 14 ft

Weapon:
Angel Lotus/ Lotus Bow/ Locust Staff
Armor:
Angel Suroust(looks like steel armour but has a torn cloak and has wing slots where wings grow out when needed.A full body armour)

Strengths:
He is very strong in offensive attacks. He can tear through many armours.
Weakness:
Undead and Wolf-type creatures. He freezes when he see's them. They seem to bring back memories of his original parents. Though no one belives him as he never saw his parents.
when he trys to rip armors that are too strong, a Curse that has passed down through his blood envelops him, and he is weakned.

Skills/Magic:
Wing Growth: Times of dire need when wearing the Angel Suroust he can summon falcon wings on his back which allow flight.
Summoning: This power allows Sukray to summon a demon from the nether world and can command it to do his biding. Grows stronger as story progresses and needs to have the Locust Staff equiped
Flame Rebirth: When near Death his body spawns fire to guard him for higher defences and stronger Offences
Demon Within: When he is angered greatly, his body fuses with that of a higher demon. The demons element is usualy fire but has been known to take advantage of foes weaknesses.This disables the summoning and wing growth.

the begining of his life story:
He has a White Tunic, with a green Symbol on the front. He has clear white skin and he has deep blue eyes.He has some small shorts underneith his tunic skirt. He has a wooden sword on his back.
every RP exept the begining of the RP about his life:
Ragged hair, one scar on his face, the Angel Suroust, a bow and a sword on his back.A wristband on each hand.Fingerless gloves on both hands.Muscles(smallish).

Personality:
Long tempered but angered very easily when something personal/someone in particular is mentioned. He is normaly kind and offers help to many people who need help. He often ignores crime unless threatned as he fears that he will awaken his inner demon.

Biography:
Born of Wanted parents he grew up as a farm boy.When he was born the small vilage his parents where staying in was attacked by the Emporers Soldiers.His father imediatley called up a griffon to send Sukray somewhere safe.Then his mother and father helped to defend the vilage.The vilage perished, along with Sukrays parents.His parents where wanted for false crimes.The laws where cruel and meant to keep all peasents as slaves to the emporer but they knew that the emporer was evil and so his parents faught back.When Sukray landed in an old farm, the griffon flew off and left the baby crying in some fields.A few minutes later some old farmers found the boy and took him home.He grew up as they're own.But when their farm was attacked Sukray fled in fright and watched his fake parents get slaughtered by the soldiers of the emperor.Then Misukay found him and taught him about his parents and offered him to fight back.He refused at first but then decided to accept. Then he was trained by Misukay.
(the story I make about him will start here)

Okay, now bad but this character needs some work.

First off, when you say thinks such as "Armor: Beginning" and "Armor: Middle to End," I'm assume you're saying he changes as the battle progresses. Could you please clarify that?

Second, you need to expand his Strength and Weakness section. In his strengths, how strong is he. Could he rip a tree out of the ground or is he simply a little stronger than normal humans? What about his intelligence? What does he know about? Is he a genius or just knows more than most people? His weaknesses really need work. Why are undead things and wolves his weakness? Would he die if one of them scratched him? Does he freeze up when he sees one? Please add more detail to those.

In his Magic, I would like you to explain what his Summoning power does, please.

Sukray's Personality also needs expansion. What would he do if he ran into someone who was killing other people or that he knew was bad? What if someone just attacked him for no reason? Please at least have a paragraph under the Personality section.

Finally, his story of parents getting killed/wanting revenge is bad cliche. Not to mention you need to go into more detail about his life. How did he grow up with his fake parents? What did they teach him? Did he know they weren't his real parents? Did Misukay teach him how to fight or did he knew about it on his own? Where did he demon form come from? Please try to go into detail about Sukray. Remember, this is his whole life you're describing.

Okay, edit those things and I'll take another look at him.

fixed it up a bit

Alrighty, that's a little better.

First, I'd like to see at least one more weakness. Something that most people could exploit. It doesn't have to be something major, like he would die if some magic hit him, but something that could be seen in about every fight. Also, I would still like to see some clarity on his strength. How strong are his offensive attacks. Could he rip through just about any armor?

Second, his appearance still needs some more detail. What kind of pants does he wear? Does his early appearance have muscles does he look kind of puny? What about skin color? Also, it would be nice if you explained what that 'appearance at beginning' and 'appearance at middle-end' meant. Again, I assume that means at the beginning, middle, and end of a battle but I could be wrong. Also, why does it change?

Okay, edit those things and I'll take another look at him.

I think your going to say apearince still needs work... yes?

Mmm... nah. That works.

*Approvedeth*