Merran

Name: Merran
Age: 16
Race: Shiekah
Sex: Male.
Hair: Shoulder-length, straight white hair with blue highlights on his bangs.
Eyes: A deep and glowing violet
Weight: 165lbs.
Height: 5'6

Weapon: A refurbished longsword of Shiekah design. Black, iron handle with shadow temple symbol carved into the base of the blade and slightly inhanced with shadow magic energy. It has a steel dual-edged blade that is engraved; the engraving is of an old Shiekah incantation that always glows with an ultra-violet light. This gives the sword the magic properties Merran favors the weapon for but due to the glowing, he prefers not to have it out of it's sheath unless he is ready to attack. His sword is designed to be lighter then the average longsword for quicker combat. This also makes the sword a bit more fragile and less effective in deflecting attacks. He also carries a black handled wakizishi with a sharpened single edged blade for close combat and emergencies.

Armor:Wheres a suit of leather armor. The armor is made of several paddings sewn together and then burnt into place for holding. The leather is darkened and softened to make it less easy to see. If you notice in the corner there are rune markings in the shoulderpads of the armor. These are the symbols of his family which he had marked into his armor as a symbol of his past. Also wears a pair of thin leather gauntlets that have a burnt steel plating along the back of the forearm and are cut off at the base of his fingers to give him more maneuverability with his sword techniques. He wears soft leather boots that fit tightly around his feet, these are excellent at preventing noise and allow him to move around with a little more friction. He often travels in a thin, violet cloak with a white rose design on the back. The rose has sharp tribal markings surrounding it and has a symbol of the lens of truth at the back of the neck.

Strengths: Is a strong and skillful swordsman. His fighting technique is based on quick critical attacks. He is trained to locate weak points in an opponent and strike violently but accurately. Focuses mainly on slash attacks and backstabbings as thrusting in combat leaves you a little more vulnerable but does it often when attempting escape. Has a very agile and quick witted nature, preffering to fight strategicly over anything else. Can resist dark magics at a moderate rate. He has an accute sence of hearing and strong vision both by day and nocturnally that help him in stalking and recognising enemies while stealthing. He can move at mind-bending speeds but not for more then a few seconds at a time and not for an extreme distance. Aspires to be a master swordsman and assassin.

Weakness: Merran lacks a strong defense in melee combat. He never fully learned to use a shield or block effectively with a sword. He is an excellent dodger but if hit, he will take a good deal of damage from most attacks due to lack of natural armor and stamina. This is a strong contributer to why he prefers stealth kills and being head-on if seen to avoid much resistance. He is strong but not a jugernaught and can't rely on his strength alone by any means. usually lacking companions, if ambushed he is almost forced to try and escape.

Skills/Magic: His sword contains slight dark magic qualities: When unsheathed, it has a chance of casting a shadow bolt at the target Merran is attempting to defeat. This has better chance if used in the darkand is prefferably a long range attack. Also affective stealth abilities. Hopes to eventually learn to create illusions but at this point, has no experience in the matter whatsoever.


Appearance: He is relatively thin but still holds definition in his figure. Holds a strong and stern face, that is yet thin and shows signs of fault and mortality. Although young, he appears to hold much wisdom in his eyes and often paints his face with violet, red, and blue tribal symbols around his eyes and cheekbones. These symbols represent the scars of battle and the hold they keep on oneself. His skin is deathly pale and he lacks facial hair of any kind. His hair, long as it is, often finds itself in his face, this is why he likes to tie it back while in combat, when not in comabt however, it will be straight down on the sides of his face.
He can rarely be seen in public places especially those with a strong town guard working, due to his criminal records. If you do manage to see him however, he will most likely be wearing a large thick cloak with a white rose design on the back with sharp tribal markings surrounding it and the symbol of the lens of truth at the neck. He also wears a black sash with shining violet trim over his mouth and a black silk shirt and matching pants with the same violet trimmings.

Personality: He is a deep and serious person. Constantly looking out for his fellow man, but only if that man is someone he respects. If you are foolhardy enough to try something dangerous he may not help you out and let justice live out it's part on you. He is cunning and tries to use his wits to defeat an enemy opposed to brute strength or flashy spells. He prefers not to remain in combat with one enemy for too long and sometimes becomes impatient and hostile with his opponent. This he considers his greatest weakness. He also likes to look for the finer things in life and would much rather look out at a sunrise over a beautiful horizon then become famous and win gratitude of others. He tries not to get involved in the affairs of others, and keeps to himself unless someone attempts to speak to him...and even then, he might ignore you unless you have something worth saying to him.

Biography: Merran was born the son of a shiekah soldier in Kakariko Village. His father was a loyalist to the Hylian Army and would risk his life to keep hyrule's people safe. His mother, was shiekah peasant woman who often struggled and was had been ridiculed due to her inability to learn. Merran loved his mother dearly and often became hostile when others mocked his mother for her lack of strong education. He was constantly in trouble for fighting but was never a bad kid and claimed that he brawled only for self defence. Soon after leaving adolescence, his father began to teach him the way of the sword. All the while, his mother taught him to respect the world and the natural order of things. She may not have been as intelligent as others, but she had a great deal of spirit which Merran respected and grew on.

As simple and happy as his life was, Merran longed for something bigger and greater. He constantly dreamed of adventuring and sword fighting duels. He often became so lost in thought that he sometimes slacked on his chores. He also enjoyed wandering away from the village to explore the wilderness, which often got him in serious trouble. He didn't mind the harping though.

On one of these wanderings, when he was 10, he found a small cavern. feeling brave, he quickly grabbed a nearby stick and charged headfirst towards the cave. It was dark inside, and he was shivering from the cold. Just when he became tired and started to turn around to go back, he could hear clicking from behind him. Giant spiders erupted from the ground in their dark dwelling in search of the meat that had just waltzed so kindly into their lair. Merran began to run. This to no avail, as the spiders quickly pounced him and began to spindle around him. His screams grew muffled under the sticky thread and his tears, so hot that he could no longer see, began to stop under the pressure of these great beasts. Fighting was futile and only caused him more pain. He helplessly struggled as the hellish creature's talons clawed their way into his flesh and injecting a numbingly painful poison into his blood. Merran inevitably blacked out seeing nothing more but blackness. His eyes hurt as he slowly opened them. His body was stiff and it hurt a little to move. he managed to pull himself to a sitting position and managed to lean against the nearest object he could see. it took him a few minutes to realize he was outside again and that he was in the company of a man. The man's face was veiled by a cloak the covered his body from head to foot. "what is your name, child of Shadow?" he asked in a stern but kind voice. Terrified, Merran could not reply. "i should probably introduce myself, then will you speak to me? I am Blitzkhan, the greatest elven assasin within a hundred miles! as a matter of fact, probably the ONLY elvish assasin within a hundred miles! Please, i mean you no harm. A child such as yourself shouldnt travel through these dark woods unarmed, much less, enter the spider caverns!" Merran couldn't find himself to respond for several minutes. He soon managed to speak however and quickly grew to the company of Blitzkhan. He found it hard to actually keep from talking after an hour or so. Blitzkhan didn't mind. He loved the company and it was almost impossible to not tell that he was smiling, despite the fact that his face was completely concealed. They talked greatly for hours and Merran listened intently to all of his companion's stories of advenure and battles. unfortunately, as the night began to close, It was time to return home. Blitzkhan took him back to the forest's edge as dawn approached and they said there goodbyes. "will I ever see you again blitzhan?" merran asked hopefully to his new hero. he hesitated to answer but then kindly replied "maybe someday when your a great adventurer! and I know you will be." He was then gone, out of Merran's life, maybe forever. These words had sparked something in him though, and that sprak fired his dream to adventure. Unfortunately, when Merran's dream began to come true, it did not come in the way he would have ever wanted it to.

Due to an accident while collecting water, his mother had fallen into a well and drowned. Soon after, his father went insane and disapeared over the grief. In a matter of months, Merran was alone with not but a large sum of ruppees left for him to survive on by his father to his name. Merran went out into the world to become an adventurer and maybe someday, a Master Swordmaster and Expert Assassin.

M'kay, you need to put more in strengths. Ask yourself some questions, I find it helps. Like: how is he a strong and effective swordsman? Think about it and describe the things in his style of fighting that would make him a strong and effective swordsman. Oh and don't forget sensory details. Does he have good sight? How good is his hearing? What about his sense of smell? You can be surprised how that can help someone in battle. Think about your character, brainstorm on any other questions that would contribute to his strengths.

Appearance was okay, but you didn't really describe what his clothing looked like. Yes, I know he wears mostly armor, but you still could redescribe these things. I find that rewriting something often helps me put in other details that I had forgotten. What does he wear when he is not in battle? What does he wear underneath his armor? There's got to seem some sort of think shirt and cloth pants or something like that. It would be very uncomfortable for a fighter to be naked besides having his armor.

Also, do you think you could get a little more detailed in his biography? One paragraph is rather weak. Really get into his history. Think about things that have created the person he is now. Write them down with as much description as you can.

ok how does this look?

I'll approve it, but it looks like you forgot to capitalize the words at the beginning of a lot of sentences. You should slow down when you write and be sure to take a break from it when you're done for about 15 minutes at least and then go back and edit any mistakes you missed. Just a tip. Perhaps you should go to Battle School; it can you teach you a lot of things about writing. That's what it's there for. You should take advantage of it.

*approved*

Alright, sounds like a plan to me. Thanks for approving me!