Tai union

Yay my first BA character
Name:Tai Union
Age:19
Race:human
Sex:male
Hair:spiky,blond
Eyes:blue
Weight:187 lbs
Height:5' 11"

Weapon:A long broad sword.
Armor:chain-mail underneath his shirt.

Strengths:Tai has trained himself in hand combat and is very skillfully in the ways of the sword also is strong for his age.
Weakness:As Tai likes to to use his sword he is weak to magic and as he only has some chain-mail as armor he can't last long against strong attacks. He can't block well so upper cuts will get him down, weak magic dazzles him but strong magic he gets knocked down for a few minutes.
Skills/Magic:He has no magic
His skill's include jumping high and able to climb well.

Personality:Tai thinks of himself of a strong warrior and is always thinking of the future, he gets angry quickly and doesn't like people being better than him.
Appearance:He has spiky long hair and has muscular arms and legs. He also has a small six-pack. He wears a pale blue shirt and white pants. His clothes are ripped and torn from stealing and running away. He has a belt and a sheath which holds his sword.

History:Tai was born in a a small village and was raised by his farther because his mother died of a illness days after Tai was born.
His farther was a knight so Tai was taught in sword man-ship, he learned since he was about the age of four.
His fathers dream was Tai to become a knight like him but only greater, but sadly that will never come true.
He went to school at the age of five and got Friends quickly, he wasn't very smart because he didn't study much.
He was trouble maker and aways pulled pranks on the teacher, his dad was never happy with him.

But one night when Tai was ten, his farther was fighting a battle and was killed so Tai became an orphan and lived with his aunt.
Him and his aunt went to his funeral where he was buried next to his wife.
Tai hated living with his aunt because he had to do all the work.
He had a small bedroom and was expected to pay for his meals, so he had to get a job.
His job was to help people with their chores, his life became hard, he had school a job and homework, he couldn't take it any more.
By the time he was 15 he ran away with his Fathers sword and small box of food and water.

He became a rouge, stealing for food and money, he was hunted by many bounty hunters.
He was thought by the army that he was a criminal but he just steals to stay alive.
The army put a high price on Tai's head, so the bounty hunters saw there chance to earn some money.
He was hunted but never caught by the bounty hunters.
Tai went hungry and thirsty so he kills soldiers and steal their food and water.

A few years later,Tai over heard a conversation about the six magic crystals that could grant the user any wish he/she wanted.
He searched for the crystals to wish to become the most powerful warrior and he would defeat all who come in his way.

Please approve

It all seems okay as far as strengths and weaknesses goes. He's physical but he's weak against magic. Sounds good to me. See if you can add some more about what kind of physical attacks he has and exactly how weak is he to magic. Is he instantly crippled or temporarily dazed? Of course you can't just let him be temporarily dazed. That's just an example. However, before I approve it, I'd like to see much, much more detail as far as his appearance, personality, and history goes.

Really get detailed about how he looks. In his personality, the reader needs to know about his common demeanor and the way he handles pressure, etc. Just get more involved so we can know Tai on a more intimate level.

I think your history needs the most work. It's pretty cut-and-dry for lack of better words. Not really original. Father killed, boy orphaned, takes daddy's sword...heard it before but it's alright. Anyway, for instance, how did Tai become a rouge? We he kicked out of an orphanage? Was he ever in an orphanage? Did he nurse from a wolf's teet?! Okay. Maybe not nursing on the wolf's teet, but you get the picture! Tell why these bounty hunters are after him. Is he a criminal? Good or bad? I think you get the idea. Give a really good history regarding Tai and I'll give it a look-see after you do that! ^_^

He's been improved

Not enough. You still definitely need to add more to his history. It's very vague and not very descriptive. You talk about these six magical crystals, but how did he find out about them? You could add something like that. What you've got is still not going to cut it. Also, type everything out in MS Word or some other program and spell check it.

The key to a successful and memorable character as well as battles is good grammar (including correct spelling) and a sense of imagination. Really dream something out of the ordinary and not typical, add much more to his history, use some type of spell check and I'll check it once you update it again. Until then, he's still not approved.

Is he good enough now?

I'm sorry, but no. You didn't even do as I asked before and check the spelling of everything. Listen, maybe you should check out some other characters and look at their biographies and everything to get a better idea of what you need to do to improve your own. Look at my character's information. His link is in my signature.

When I say add to the history, I mean add to the history. One or two sentences just will not work. And also it takes time. You just can't open your browser, see that I've disapproved your character, and type up something really quick. You need to take your time and write a good detailed biography of your character.

So please take the time to look at other characters and when you try again, I really want to see some real effort because I haven't seen too much so far. I have to disapprove once again.

It's been spell checked and improved but I'm adding some more tomorrow after school.
EDIT:I don't think I can add any more
EDIT2:please approve
EDIT3:please please approve, I'm desperate
EDIT:I must be bad, if no one's approving, please approve, I realy want to be a part of the BA