Raine

My first BA character!

Name: Raine Celcius

Age: 26

Race: Human

Sex: Female

Hair: Shoulder length firey red hair. Her fringe goes across her face.

Eyes: Dark grey

Weight: 8 and a half stone

Height: 5 feet and 9 inches

Weapon: Icicle Blade, made from everlasting ice.

Armor: Fire and heat proof shield and gloves

Strengths: She can heal some wounds, she is fast.

Weakness: She is not physically strong. Physical attacks are weak, but on the other hand her spells can devaste the battlefeild. She lacks accuracy and will sometimes end up randomly swinging her sword. At times she may overheat, causing intense pain to herself and enemies.

Skills/Magic:
Cure (restores HP)
Nova (a star will emerge from her staff blasting away enemies)
Identify (Automatically identifies enemies HP)
Ray (Strong rays of light from the sun hit enemies, burning them)
Photon (Conceals enemy in a ball of fire and light)
Snowstorm (Snowballs beat down on enemies)
Blaze (Balls of fire leap from her head.)

Appearance: She has firey red shoulder length hair and a pale face with grey eyes. She wears a coat with pictures of snowflakes on one side of her body and on the other side wears a coat with red and orange flames. She also wears a shirt and dress underneath and flat sandals.

Personality: At the start of battle Raine will insult enemies by saying something like "Pathetic!" or "Your a disgrace!" she may say something about her power such as "Are you ready to be devastated?" or "Die you inferior !". But she is a kind person underneath!
Born in Ailesi, a mining city. It was very rich as the cities would pay for diamonds in the mine. She visited the mines a lot. At the age of nineteen she was accepted at the Starblaze University. Eventually at thirty-one she became a scientist and was particularly interested in the elements and stars. At thirty-three she gave a tour to some teenagers of the Ailesi mines. She wandered off to a closed zone straying from the group. She operated what she thought was a emergency button or alarm, but she had be poisoned by a paracite she released. A red mark and a blue mark developed on her skin. As the days went past these marks grew. They only spread to the arms and there didn't seem to be any damage to her. She started learn medicine and magic in the books she took from the school and borrowed from her friends and became skilled esspecially in water, ice and fire type magic. She discovered that while the paracite is making her stronger it's killing of her years of living. She searches from a way to kill the paracite and live a peaceful life with her sister and father in Ailesi.
So far she has collected information about what the paracite does. This is not so useful as what she really wants to do is destory it. Raine is a light eater. She rarely has proper meals and just snacks on drinks, fruit, veg or cheese. Raine has a fear of spiders as she crawled into a nest of spiders as a young child. She has a facination with clouds. Sometimes, around dusk, she'll just lie down and watch them float across the sky and eventually as night came she would count stars until she fell asleep. Raine loves hot days, she likes how usually all the plants bloom and animals emerge from the dens, she loves nature! Raine is a strong swimmer too. She loves swimming in the sea.

Aye. You think as I did when I joined ZU. "No one else here plays ToS!"

Well, they do. Lighten up on your character's similarities to Raine Sage, and I'll see what I can do in terms of approval.

I lurve ToS it rocks! Anyways, I've edited it a bit so how about now?

Raine is fully ready to be approved!

I desperatley want her approved....please!

BA character approval is evil, so much it hurts me, if Raine is not approved soon, I plan to replace all water on the planet with.........CABBAGE!

It still screams "Raine Sage." More originality, please.

I edited her, she is less RSish now!

I suppose it's no longer TOO much like Raine, though it's still unoriginal.

Now to the actual work. A couple more weaknesses shall appease me. Also, a one-paragraph bio doesn't cut it. Lengthen it please.

I edited again!

I don't like posting like this, but to get a character approved i need to be persistent...

You also need to have a workable character. I suggest starting over from stratch, and putting more effort into every aspect of the character, especially the bio.