S.S.J. (Revised version)

Name: Smash Survivor Jack, or Jack for short.

Age: 18

Race: Smash Survivor. This race is similar to the human race, except born with magical and natural powers. They also speak with a spanish accent. (They speak English, of course!)This race is on the far corner of the Earth, Strongus Smashus.

Sex: Male, of course.

Hair: Black and white, spikey, short hair.

Eye Color: Teal

Weight: 183 pounds

Height: 6 feet, 5 inches

Weapons: His mind, and his sword called Mystic Crescent, a curved sword made of moonstone and diamond. The sword magically returns to it's owner when misplaced. The Mystic Crescent also has fire, electric, and ice power. The magic gem in the hilt controls the power. He also has the Gale Boomerang, which can stir up a mini tornado to attack.

Armor: Mental and magical barriors, can be fire, ice, or electric. Fire burns, ice freezes, and electric paralyzes.

Strenghts: His mind is his ultimate defense. He can levitate. His sword also ups his offense if his stamina is low. Jack can be very speedy. Water doesn't have much of an effect on him. He will use his foe's water attacks against them...

Weakness: Jack's attacks take time to charge. In order to power his sword, he must sacrifice some of his blood, depending on how much power his sword wants. His balance isn't so good either. But tripping him may be an advantage for him instead of for you...Beware...BAHAHAHA!

Skills and Magic:

Earth Massacre: Mystic Crescent

Jack will plunge his sword into the ground and cause an earthquake. Plus, if Mystic Crescent is powered with fire, lava busts from the cracks from the earthquake. Using this attack will drain energy, though.

Sandstorm: Gale Boomerang

When charged and thrown, the boomerang can whip up a sandstorm.

Fire Spin: Fire Sword

When Jack spins around with his fire-powered sword, fire burst from the sword. Can also be a midair attack. Jack will simultaneously hurt him self with second-degree burns, and speed decreases.

Icicle Storm: Ice Sword

When Jack raises his ice-powered sword, showers of icicles hit the foe. Unavoidable.This will paralyze Jack after the attack for a few seconds, though. Thus, he is open for attack. Jack can't use this for more than three times, or he freezes himself.

Thunder: Electric Sword-FINISHER/FINAL ATTACK!

As the name implies. In order for this move to be in effect, Jack must be struck by a lightening attack and a water/ice attack. Lightening and dark clouds fill the sky, and a thunderbolt shoots lightspeed towards the opponent.


Appearance: Light skinned. He wears a teal tunic, black, baggy jeans, and dark brown beaver-skin boots. Jack also wears an earring made of emerald. His sword is strapped to his back. His boomerang is strapped to his leg. Jack has a small nose.

Personality: Humble, but has great fighting spirit. Jack never starts a fight. Jack is also self-centered. He looks as if he was just an ordinary boy, and when adults look at him, he stares back until they leave.

Biography:
Jack's mother died giving birth to him. During Jack's six years of life he went to school. At seven, he dropped out to get training on his own. On his seventh birthday, Jack was given the sword Crescent Moon. "It's time that you learn how to defend yourself, Jack." Ever since, Jack trained with his beloved sword, with the help of his dad. Jack learned that he could use his mind to create a defensive barrior. He learned mental techniques from his dad, like levitating, physical techniques such as basics(horizontal and verticle swipes, his dad taught him), and special sword techniqes such as spin attacks and parry attacks. He even learned to focus all his energy on his sword and used the Earth Massacre attack, in which he accidentally destroyed a building with. Luckily, no one was hurt. Jack lived in peace for 10 years, all the while training.

During those 10 years, he learned how to cook for himself, do chores, and to never talk to strangers. He also learned how to power his sword. One time, when Jack was cutting vegetables for stew, he accidentally cut himself. While waving his bloody hand in the air in pain, blood flew on the Mystic Crescent. It turned into ice immediatly. Amazed by this, Jack showed his father. "I knew something like this would happen. Hone your skills outside the house please, not inside."

One day, while his father was out, a meteor struck Earth. Unfortunately, Jack's dad had died in the crash. He wasn't fast enough to escape. Jack cried as he ran to the scene. He saw his father, lying in the midst of the disastrous rubble.
He couldn't bear it, but in spite of himself, he kneeled down next to the burnt body and examined it. He spotted something V-shaped next to his dad. He took it.

"It's a boomerang..."

Jack threw the boomerang. Before his eyes, a tornado formed. While the boomerang whizzed back to him, the tornado ceased. Jack was amazed.
But he had to go before anyone found him. Jack picked up his dad's body, and
his boomerang, and ran home. When he walked in, he layed his dad on his bedspread.
He stayed there and cried, remembering the memories he had with his father, until the mail came. Still trying to wipe his eyes, Jack got up.
Then he picked up the mail at the front door.
"It's a letter, from Battle Arena..."

"Go to the Forest of Illusion," the letter read.
Thus Jack's adventure began to unfold...

Have you read through the stickies, Bobby Emerald? This guy is far too strong for the BA right now.

1) Add in some more weaknesses. Having bad balance and attacks that "aren't as strong unless he trains" just plain isn't enough.

2) Tone down the Skills/Magic section. A lot. Those things are a) far too powerful, and b) have no weaknesses or vulnerabilities attacheds to them. For every power you keep, I want to see a downside for it added.

3) Work on the bio. It's not very detailed right now. How did he train for those eight years? Who did he train with? And the meteor strike on Earth...um...I'm not too sure about that, either. But I guess you can keep it if you really want.

4) All this, and the kid is only fifteen? That doesn't quite add up.

Okay, I did exactly what you told me to do. I toned down the attacks, and gave Jack two more weaknesses.

Okay. This is better, but I still have a few problems.

1) I'm not sure if it was there before, but I just noticed a teleportation ability listed under Strengths. I have three words for it: no, no, and no. As things stand, you could use that to pop up behind someone and club them over the head before they have a chance to react. Put a limiter on it. Better, remove it.

2) You haven't done what I asked for his Skills/Magic. Just putting that his attacks need time to charge in the Weaknesses isn't enough, although the blood thing does help. But I suggest you have the attacks themselves drain him in some way beyond that, too.

So, yeah. Knock off the teleportation and tack on a few downsides for the magic. Other than that, no problems.

OK, i added downsides to the magic category, and i took out the teleport thing.

That's more like it. No more problems.

*approves*