Alvin, the 4/3 Demon

NOTE- This has been agreed upon by myself and LadyElvenarcher. If you want to fight Alvin, you MUST contact me beforehand. He is not meant to be a serious character, and I don't think you'd want your characters' reputations to be tarnished by this guy.

Name: Alvin
Age: 607
Race: Demon (4/3 demonic blood)
Sex: Male
Hair: None
Eyes: Yellowish
Weight: 340
Height: 5'3"

Weapon: Mace, although he uses his fists quite a bit.
Armor: Who needs armor!? This guy is charging into battle with nothing save a skin gird about his loins!

Strengths: Most of it stems from his physical strength. He is known for his Rather Cliche yet Violent Rages of Terror, but it takes someone with -4/3 demonic blood to tick him off that badly. It's theorized that if Alvin is confronted by green mice with silly hats, he will immediately kill SearanoX. This has not been proven, nor has it been disproved.
Weakness: He's slow, due to his chubby body. And being 4/3 Demon, he isn't quite fond of holy power. Not to mention that this guy's a total idiot.
Skills/Magic: None.

Personality: He's rather mean. He won't think twice about beating someone up. However, a few have seen him picking flowers and snuggling rabbits. What's amazing is that these people lived to tell the tale.
He also likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.
Appearance:
BEHOLD his glory! His stubby and chubby body is red as blood! His overbite commands respect! Do you see his Infernal Armpit Hairs!? And what of his Cankles of General Unpleasantness!? KNEEL!

History: Ah, you wish to know his history.
Alvin was spawned in the realm of DAB. Dab was thus named due to its founder getting drunk.
As Alvin was being spawned, something horrific happened. Lightning struck him and did completely crazy things to his blood. Do not question the scientific matters- this is a flipping Demon, and Demons are cool nowadays, and you're in so much awe that you don't care about science.
Anyway, Alvin rose, and something was wrong. The demonic content in his blood had increased- he was 4/3 Demon.

Throughout his childhood, Alvin was mocked. None of the 3/3 Demon children would terrorize with Alvin, and he spent most of his school days sniffling under his desk. Everyone always picked on him...
He asked himself "Why? Why must this happen to me? Can't they see me for who I am?"
Author's note: I'm sorry, I need some tissues... this is so sad...
One day, it happened. Alvin went to school, and, as usual, another Demon started picking on him. Alvin turned, growled, and beat the living snot out of the guy.

Alvin changed from then on. No one wanted to mess with him, seeing as how he had both completely pwned and schooled the last Demon who messed with him. Giving in to the cliche inclinations in his black heart, he left Dab to go do some evil stuff in Hyrule. Why Hyrule? Who cares!? Probably had something to do with not feeling at home in Dab, not liking his people, yadda yadda yadda shut up.

In Hyrule, many things happened. That will be recorded in... the Zelda Universe...
BATTLE ARENA... *DUN DUN DUN!!!

This is so pathetic and immature. There's no way anything like this would ever get approved in *THIS* BA. I'm so annoyed and angry with this right now, that I'm even going so far as to lock this thread. If you really want to participate in the BA, you're going to have to start from scratch on your character. But if you behave how you wrote the above character, then I don't think I want you running around the BA. *places massive padlock on this*

*bumps* Okay...look... After I read the PM you sent me, I can see the whole point to this character. I might have been a bit too quick to condemn it. And actually, it is rather funny. Sorry about blowing up at you. *removes unapproved sticker and stamps with an approved one* Go have fun! ^_^

Hey, thanks. No prob about the blowing up. Glad you think it's funny, like this awesome smiley here->

-IANVS

PS- Oh GNOES!!! A MOD DOUBLE-POSTED!!!111shiftone!shiftone!!!1!