Miro *Remake*

This is essentially a remake of my first character, Miro. It's been a long time since my absence, so I thought one was necessary. I hope there aren't as many grammar errors as in my old characters this time .

Name: Miro Alferok Desbukai
Age: 21
Race: Derailï (Custom race, please see bio for more information)
Sex: male
Hair: Blue, spiky and long.
Eyes: Gold
Weight: 60 kilograms
Height: 160 centimetres or 1 meter and 60 centimetres

Weapons: Miro wields two one-handed swords, Ragnarok in his right hand and Finior in his left. The sheaths of these two weapons are two wooden scabbards. The scabbards are tied to his back with two primitive leather strips.

Ragnarok: Ragnarok was supposedly once wielded by a legendary hero during the fabled Legendary Wars. However if so, then its power has faded since then. It’s now nothing more than a sturdy and extra sharp blade.
Picture:

Finior: Finior was Miro’s deceased father’s and ancestral sword. Despite its age, it’s in pretty good shape and it’s more durable and sharper than some magical blades.
Picture:

Armor: None

Strengths: Miro’s strength lies in physical capabilities and his hardheadedness. He’s far stronger, faster and tougher than any average human. Performing above-human athletic and acrobatic feats, like jumping 2 meters vertically, is an easy task for Miro. His quick reflexes allow him to parry most physical attacks and dodge projectiles to a certain extent. The Derailian swordsman also has a knack for ‘sensing’ any explicit attack directed at him, magical or not.
Furthermore, Miro never gives up, always fighting till the bitter end. His willingness to drive his body to the very limit in a fight helps him in this.
Anyone trying to scare and/or intimidate Miro will come to the inevitable conclusion that it's an impossible task: Miro lacks fear. It's not something psychological, fear simply doesn't exist or will ever manifest inside him. At the same time, he is overflowing with confidence. The combination of these two attributes inspires cowardly friends and baffles overconfident foes.
He’s also an excellent swordsman. Unprepared opponent will find themselves overwhelmed by his offensive and reckless sword style.

Weakness: Miro is a man of brawn, not brains. His hardheadedness is at the same time a strength as well as a weakness. While it is generally good that Miro doesn’t run away, he doesn’t know when to quit. He will follow through on all of his fights, even to the extent of unnecessarily wounding himself or even others.
Furthermore, he isn’t very resourceful and always tries to solve every problem with (both of) his swords. Miro’s stupidity and his gullible nature are also something that can be easily used against him. He also tends to announce his attacks.
Thanks to his inability to feel fear means that Miro isn't very self-preserving. His sword style reflects this. It leaves a lot of openings and only has two maybe three defensive moves, which are pretty basic anyway.


Skills/Magic:

Innate ability (for more information, please see bio):

Elemental orbs:

Miro can fire a sphere the size of his fist from each of his hands. The sphere’s element can either be fire, water, earth, wind, electricity, shadow/darkness and light. Miro chooses the element at the time of creating the sphere. The force of this attack can be compared to that of a thrown fist-sized rock.


Divine Abilities:
These are abilities Miro manifested over time. The word divine in this case signifies that a higher power indirectly gives some of its power to the subject. Miro thus knows that he’s somehow tapping into something greater than himself. However, instead of a higher being he believes that he’s unlocking the power of the sword Ragnarok. In reality, his bond with The Nameless One is becoming stronger. Anyone observing Miro's power will sense the Nameless One's influence oozing from his body, and it's not a pleasant sight or feeling.

Divine Rage (LV1)
When Miro enters this state he becomes, as the title suggests, enraged. He is somewhat of a berserker in this form, thinking only of fulfilling his instinct to fight and ignoring his own injuries even further. His muscle mass and height seem to slightly increase during this state. Furthermore, his golden eyes seem to fade in and out repeatedly.
Divine Rage nearly doubles Miro’s physical capabilities (mainly strength, speed and endurance) and innate ability for precisely 30 seconds. After that, the young Derailï feels weakened (sometimes completely drained) and suffers the pain of any inflicted wounds at once. Legendary Rage can only be reused when Miro takes a short rest. Trying to use it twice before resting is possible, but the consequences are dire. Instead of feeling weakened, Miro will be on the brink of death and helpless as an infant.

Elemental Blades
This is a variation on his innate ability, yet it's only possible due to The Nameless One's influence. Just as the title suggests, Miro temporarily enchants the swords he wields with a chosen element (he can choose from the list for his innate ability) through the silver spots on his hands. It can also be applied to whatever he’s holding in his hands. In the swords’ case, the blades deal extra damage of the chosen elemental type and the color changes to the one associated with the element. (Red means fire, blue means water, etc.)The one drawback this ability has is that it slowly eats away Miro’s stamina.

Derailian Awareness
Miro instinctively knows if he’s being attacked and where the attack will land. This counts for both ranged and melee attacks. The problem with this ability is that his body sometimes is too slow to make a difference. He can for example perfectly dodge an arrow that’s fired at him from more than 60 feet, but can’t do the same when it’s a bullet coming out of a gun. Derailian Awareness only works for direct attacks aimed at him and him alone.

Personality:

Miro is hot-headed and very, very loud. He always storms into situations without thinking twice, sometimes not even bothering to think once. A simple insult can fill his head with unstoppable rage. At the same time, he acts friendly and a bit ditzy around people, sometimes even failing to notice something that is standing right in front of him.
Miro loves to meet new people. Friends and family are very important to this Derailï. He is extremely loyal to them, to the extent of willing to give up his life for them.

Miro’s always itching to prove himself as an hero. This desire is taken a little too far with him. The young swordsman always sees danger in unpredictable ways and almost always has to come to the conclusion that there wasn’t any threat at all.
Furthermore, Miro really wants to help people. But due to his rather idiotic nature, he usually ends up making things worse. Despite that, he still considers himself a natural protector of the weak and is always eager to defend a poor peasant against a brutal tyrant (or so he thinks).

While not a violent person by nature, he is a Derailï and the Derailï are fearless fighters, no exceptions. Driven by instinct, Miro is always looking for a good battle. There is one condition though: There must always be a challenge, or else his Derailian blood won’t be satisfied. Sometimes he even imposes limits and certain goals on himself in order to make things more interesting.

Appearance: (For common Derailï traits, please refer to the bio)
Miro’s body has a muscular build. His blue hair is long and spiky. It's held together by a piece of red cloth that’s wrapped around like a tube. His eyes are big and golden.
He is rather short , by both Derailian and modern human standards.
He always wears a green cloak that’s held together by a white button. There are two holes in the cloak through which the swords’ scabbards stick out. His wide white pants are held up by a rather large cord tied around his waist. His buckled boots are brown with black leather soles. Miro normally doesn’t wear a shirt, preferring the leave his upper body bare. The crossing leather strips that are keeping the sheathed swords firmly in place are an exception.
Picture:

History:
The Derailians:

History of the Derailians
The Derailï were once a human-like race on a small planet called “Digaiearth”. Just like some other planets, Digaiearth had several gods and goddesses. These divine beings quarreled with each other, unable to agree upon the distribution of domains like the sun, the sea, etc. These quarrels became conflicts and the conflicts themselves suddenly climaxed into an all out war. It was the little planet and its non-divine inhabitants that suffered the most. The land itself violently changed under the gods' jealous wrath. Not a single continent or sea remained the same. Every species had to adapt very quickly, or else face extinction. .

It was during these times that a self-proclaimed god of war created the Derailï. The Nameless One, as that’s what the Derailï call him to this day, personally contacted the ancestors of the Derailï, the Railï or ‘The free’ in their ancient tongue. He (or she, there never was an established gender) made them an offer they couldn’t refuse: Do his bidding and gain sufficient power to save themselves, or face the arbitrary will of the gods alone.
Naturally, the Railï accepted, though it is not known whether this was hesitantly or not. After every member of their race pledged their eternal allegiance to The Nameless One, He bestowed upon them his power but also his lust for battle. He gave them the name ‘Derailï’ or ‘The bound’ as to remind the race of their purpose. As another reminder, The Nameless One put a silver spot, his trademark, on the palms of each Derailian hand. With their newfound ‘gifts’, the no longer free race plunged itself into what would be later known as ‘The Legendary Wars’.

Initially, they were successful. Some lesser races even compared them to the gods due to their sheer strength and battle prowess. As one can expect, the other gods slowly became jealous of The Nameless Ones’ army and began to mimic the war-god's actions. Soon, Digaiearth was filled with powerful bound races. This escalated the Legendary Wars even further. Digaiearth was obliterated in the ensuing slaughter.

But The Nameless One had spoken the truth: The power of the Derailï was strong enough to save their race. In a final effort to prevent extinction, the strongest of the Derailï teleported to different worlds, taking several chunks of their people with them.
300 years after these events, the Derailï are but a shadow of what they once were. They are scattered across multiple dimensions and worlds. Without direct contact to their god, their power has decreased considerably. Almost all of their culture has been lost on most of their new homes. Their history ( Especially The Legendary Wars and the contract with The Nameless One) has become a myth to most of the Derailians..


Description of the Derailians
Derailians look just like humans, with a few differences:
They have unusual hair and eye color (blue hair and golden eyes are not uncommon), sometimes with rather strange hairstyles. This is a joke on The Nameless Ones’ part, as he had tried to make them more distinct from the other races.
Furthermore, each Derailï is in terrific shape. Obese Derailï simply do not exist.
Lastly, there is a silver spot on the palm of each Derailï’s hand. Their innate abilities are usually channeled through these spots.
Common non-physical traits:
Every Derailï has an innate ability, which can be magical in nature. These abilities can range from shooting elemental orbs to healing others by absorbing their pain.
While not extremely violent, Derailians always lust for battle. They are also unable to feel fear. Therefore, non-Derailians usually consider the Derailians to be a reckless bunch of fools.
All Derailians worship The Nameless One, it's an instinctive need for them. None of them realizes this, or refuses to.


Miro:
Miro was born in a peaceful Derailian town simply called “The Village”, somewhere on a forgotten planet. The Village was one of the first settlements on that planet founded by the Derailian fugitives after The Legendary Wars. Now, 300 years after The Legendary wars, The Village has become one of the few places left in a new and small Derailian nation where there are any records left of their home planet and history.

Before Miro’s birth, the world of the nameless Derailian nation was in peril. A horde of monstrous races, believed to have come from the underworld itself, had been plundering, murdering and raping across almost every border. They left nothing but ashes in their wake. But when they tried to do the same to the Derailians, they found their match. The warrior race (with the help of nearby human nations) quickly forced the monsters back into the underworld with a fierceness not seen since The Legendary Wars.
It was during this war that Miro’s father died.

Thus Miro grew up as an only child and was rather spoiled. His mother raised him with the help of Miro’s grandfather (on his mother’s side, his other grandparents had already passed away) and his deceased father’s friend, Zeon.

Miro learned swordsmanship from his grandfather and Zeon, though both men criticized his choice for wielding two blades instead of one. They considered his reasoning of “1 + 1 > 1” foolish. Even so, none of them could refuse him.
Despite that he was a nice kid, he didn’t have many friends during his time at the village. Or at least, he didn’t known anyone that he could’ve considered a true friend. This was because after hitting puberty and discovering his innate ability, there was seemingly nobody who shared his dreams of greatness.

Thanks to him growing up in The Village, Miro knew almost all of the stories surrounding The Legendary Wars. He dreamed of becoming just like those warriors of ages ago. Others with lesser dreams often teased him about this. Nobody really believed he could do it. His mother tried to convince Miro otherwise, but it only got worse. In the end, Miro decided that fighting with only Derailians was getting him nowhere. He had to find others to fight in order to become stronger. Adventure was beckoning to him.

But Miro's mother wouldn't let him. But one day, when she was tired of his endless nagging, she compromised. She promised Miro that he could leave for an adventure when The Nameless One himself would leave him a sign.
The Derailian swordsman finally started to fulfill his ambition a year ago when he found the sword Ragnarok.
It was lying there, in a cave somewhere on a nearby hill. A heavy storm the night before probably had cleared the rocks that were lying in front of the entrance.
Miro curiously explored the newfound cave. He soon left with a rune sword in his hands. With his knowledge of Derailian history, Miro thought he knew what those runes were: Ancient Derailian. Even without knowing what the runes were exactly saying, Miro quickly came to the conclusion that it had been crafted during The Legendary Wars. That could only mean that a hero once wielded the sword during those times! To find such an important artifact, surely this had to be a sign!

With somehow coming to that conclusion, Miro’s decision was made. He quietly left, saying only goodbye to his mother, grandfather and Zeon in a hastily written letter.

Everything up before Weapons is fine. With Miro's weapons, I want to see more detail.

Ragnarok was supposedly once wielded by a legendary hero during the fabled Legendary Wars.

This is extremely vague. I'd like to see more detail in that. At least one paragraph per weapon. To be safe, I think you should assume that people can't see the pictures, and describe the weapons from there. It would also be nice to know exactly what powers this weapon once had, and what powers it has now.

Finior: Finior was Miro’s deceased father’s and ancestral sword. Despite its age, it’s in pretty good shape and it’s more durable and sharper than some magical blades.

Really more of a knit pick, but there's no need to say "his deceased father's and ancestral" Ancestral is good enough, I think. But the thing about his father, is that his bio should cover whether or not Dad is dead, unless this needs to be here because he has more than one father. And why is it more durable than magical weapons? What makes it this way?

His strengths and weaknesses need a rewrite. You contradicts yourself too often for me to see any solidarity between one and the next. You say that he has quick reflexes that allow him to easily dodge and parry attacks. You also say that he is an excellent swordsman, and that he will overhwelm unprepared opponents with his offensive and reckless style. In his weaknesses, you say that his sword style leaves a lot of openings in his defenses, and that he only knows two or three defensive maneuvers, which are all very basic.

These statements are contradictory. If he can easily dodge and parry attacks, then there must not be any real openings in his defense. If he's an excellent swordsman, he should know how to defend himself. Most of the good techniques are the ones that keep you alive, and soldiers do not become war veterans without learning how to stop their enemies from hitting them. A sword style that may differ from this would rely a lot on taking out opponents in just one or two hits, but these generally aren't allowed in the EH.

Furthermore, Miro never gives up, always fighting till the bitter end. His willingness to drive his body to the very limit in a fight helps him in this.
Anyone trying to scare and/or intimidate Miro will come to the inevitable conclusion that it's an impossible task: Miro lacks fear. It's not something psychological, fear simply doesn't exist or will ever manifest inside him. At the same time, he is overflowing with confidence. The combination of these two attributes inspires cowardly friends and baffles overconfident foes.

Miro is a man of brawn, not brains. His hardheadedness is at the same time a strength as well as a weakness. While it is generally good that Miro doesn’t run away, he doesn’t know when to quit. He will follow through on all of his fights, even to the extent of unnecessarily wounding himself or even others.
Furthermore, he isn’t very resourceful and always tries to solve every problem with (both of) his swords. Miro’s stupidity and his gullible nature are also something that can be easily used against him. He also tends to announce his attacks.

These could be rewritten for better sentence structure, but that's not necessary. More importantly, they belong in his personality section. These are not strengths and weaknesses, they are personality traits. Everyone's personality can be a strength at one point, and a weakness at another. That's just how it is.

This character's "elemental orbs" ability is fine for the most part, but I want to see a lot more detail in it. I would like to see at least two paragraphs on it, and how most of those elements hurt people, if at all. Does it really matter if he throws a ball of water at someone?

Anyone observing Miro's power will sense the Nameless One's influence oozing from his body, and it's not a pleasant sight or feeling.

This doesn't really seem right to me. Really, it's probably fine as is, but does this mean that if he decides to use one of these abilities, that just anyone will be able to "feel evil power radiating from him"? This seems like something that only certain other characters would be able to do... how does someone observe his power, anyhow?

Divine Rage nearly doubles Miro’s physical capabilities (mainly strength, speed and endurance) and innate ability for precisely 30 seconds.

I need to know what this does. What would he be capable of?

After that, the young Derailï feels weakened (sometimes completely drained) and suffers the pain of any inflicted wounds at once. Legendary Rage can only be reused when Miro takes a short rest.

Legendary or Divine? Please try to keep the names consistent, to avoid confusion.

This elemental blades is fine, but again I would like to know what kind of effect each of the elements has. And this color thing, et cetera, really needs to be expanded. If you're going to include the color of each element, please include them all.

This Derailian Awareness is broken. Being able to know, no matter what, that you are being attacked, and where and when the attack will land, is too powerful. This power essentially negates his apparent lack of defensive ability, since the only things he won't be able to dodge or avoid with are things that move too fast for his "far faster than human reflexes" to react to.

His personality should include the things I've already mentioned, and I'd like to see it assembled into proper paragraphs, with proper spacing.

I'd like to see his appearance assembled into proper paragraphs, and I'd also like to see you use a little more detail. Again, you should assume that someone cannot see his picture.

And now I have a few suggestions that are more like advice than trouble spots:

For one, I recommend that after you reconcile your character's strengths and weaknesses, that he still has some kind of strength, and weakness, left over. Second, I recommend that you do a little research on how to use a sword in combat. Not a whole lot, but try to find some information through wikipedia or google, so that you can get a better understanding of what makes a style strong. Finally, it's not really necessary to say that his race is "custom", but that's just me.