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Old 06-29-2009, 01:36 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

This good?
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Old 06-29-2009, 01:54 PM
Shrub Shrub is offline
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Re: New Charector

Good, and I just realized about the beads (sorry, I swear this is the last thing). How do they restore themselves after being used?
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Old 06-29-2009, 01:56 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

It takes about 15 minutes for one of them to be restored
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Old 06-29-2009, 01:59 PM
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Re: New Charector

Good, add that detail to the profile as well.
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Old 06-29-2009, 02:07 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

How 'bout now?
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Old 06-29-2009, 02:14 PM
Shrub Shrub is offline
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Re: New Charector

Yup, that's swell. Thank you for your patience.
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:58 AM
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Re: New Charector

Quote:
Weapon: Dagger of Change. Can change into anything the owner wants. Every change is a bead from his necklace. He also has 25 Kunai knives and shurican each. Basic and gotten in one of his adventures with Azerik Zaraki.
Update:
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Last Edited by Shrub; 02-15-2010 at 01:58 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:54 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

Update:

Name: Tarok

Age: 18, but looks 13 do to slowed aging of the nightlings.

Race: Nightling

Gender: Male

Hair: Black on bottom and red on top, with a few lighter black streaks in the red.

Eyes,Deep Green

Weight: 103 lbs.

Height: 4 ft. 5"

Weapon: Dagger of Change. Can change into anything the owner wants. Every change is a bead from his necklace. The limits on this are: No magic tools or weapons or any of the like. Can only change into things from the Renaissance.. He also has 25 Kunai knives and shurican each. Basic and got ten in one of his adventures with Azerik Zaraki.

Armor: Cloak of Protection. Protects wearer from physical and non physical attacks. Also blocks the sunlight in such a way that it does not burn him as most nightlings would in the daytime. To cut the cloak, it would take extreme force to cut it, as though a muscled knight cam up behind him with a heavy broadsword.

Strength: Nightime is when his full power is revealed. The humans say that the Nightlings are creatures of the night. That is one of the few rumors they have right. When the sun sets, he is stronger and faster than in the daytime. He would be so fast that the regular human could not see him. Also he could lift three times his body weight. He would also know more spells than in the daytime.

Weakness: Without the Cloak of Protection, he cannot travel in the sunlight. If he tried it, he would not last 5 minutes out in the sun without it. he would be burned beyond recognition. If you cut his cloak, he would have to get inside a building or in some shade fast or (look above). He is not very strong, but the Cloak of Protection gives him a little extra strength. With age, he has gotten strong enough that he could lift about 60 pounds without the cloak. With the cloak, he is able to lift 30 pounds more.

Magic Store. He has a necklace that stores magical power. It has 30 beads. Every bead counts for one spell. It takes about fifteen minutes for one to regenerate. If used in rapid sucsession, they could restore at the same time. The green emerald pendant in the middle of his necklace allows him to send the energy into his necklace and store it there for quicker recharges. Can hold up to 2 full charges.

Skills/Magic,He know a few charms, but again, his true power lies in the nightime. In the night, as a racial trait, most damage is lifted under the glow of the moon, as though it never happened. It takes about 5 minutes for a full healing. He is very accurate with his Kunai and Shurikan, and can hit something perfectly from 20 yards in the day time, and 70 yards at night. The attack charms are:

Discharge: Can send out a magic shield for max of five yards. He can now manipulate it into any shape he wants. The shield can take plenty of punishment, like if somebody came down with a single sword once, they wouldn't break it, but if they did that 10 or 15 times, it would start to break apart. About 75 pounds of pressure would be needed each hit to make a significant crack. Unless otherwise said, the shield is spherical.

Immobility: The target is immediately immobilized for a few seconds. If he wanted it longer, he would have to use another bead from his necklace. This spell has a maximum period per bead of 10 seconds. Really, the target has to be able to be touched for this to work.

Transfiguration: Can change one thing into another for a period of time. The longer the period of time and how big the object is that he is changing takes another bead. If changing a small person's physical appearance to the appearance of a person of the same species and body type but different racial features, which he rarely does, would be 3-5 seconds per bead to maintain it. If we get into specifics, a 200+ lbs. man would take 3-5 beads per 3-5 seconds, anything lower than that would take less and less. The bigger the changes from the person's size to a different size and their physical traits will require more and more beads to maintain per seconds. He uses this mainly for transportation purposes. The longer the period of time and how drastically the object is changed the more beads it costs. So say if he tried to change an elephant to a mouse for 3-5 seconds it would cost 20 beads due to vast size differences and physical changes. So as long as he is changing something to another of a similar size and physical traits, like a large metal pole into a metal bicycle, he should be able to maintain the change for a half hour per 5 beads.

Teleportation: Can be used for him and others to move distances faster than usual. When teleporting it seem to the user that they are going into a black hole.The more people and the farther the distance the more beads it takes. 2 and a half miles per bead, and add that cost onto (besides himself) a bead per person he takes along with him.

Portal Making: Used for self only. Can make portal only to places he has seen. Cannot go to places he has heard of, only seen. The longer the traveling distance, the more beads it takes. This is simpler than teleportation, so 5 miles per bead.

Invisibility: Turns invisible, not able to be seen by normal people, for a period of 5 seconds per bead.

He has learned more elemental magic over the past few years.

Fireball: A ball of dark blue, almost black flame. It is considered medium effective range. It is hot enough to melt through steel in the first 30 feet, but than cools down to 2nd degree burn at 60, and not even enough to singe the hair on your chin at 900. Sometimes used as a scare tactic. Minimum is 5 beads. He is constantly working on this spell.

Vine Snare: Calls vines out of the ground to hold down a victim. The range is how far he can throw the seeds. Minimum 3 beads. On his own, he can throw the seeds about 6 feet in the daytime, but at night that is nearly tripled.

Pebble Storm: Takes the small rocks around him, and is able to direct them at a target. Very volatile. The stones move so fast that you can hardly see them, but lose velocity quickly. considered a short range spell. Can Be used effectively to about 7- 10 feet.

Mind Reading: A master of this technique, Tarok can see into people minds, with varying degrees of complexity. He can easily read thoughts at the front of peoples minds, such as questions they may currently be asking themselves, or opinions they have begone to form. For more personal thoughts, such as memories and close held secrets, Tarok needs to understand a person fundamentally, and be in a position of trust to the person. As such, it is much easier for him to read the mind of a close friend than it is for him to read the mind of a new acquaintance or a mortal enemy.

The more secretive a person is about themselves, the harder it is to hear even their open thoughts. For example if Tarok tried to read the mind of an assassin trained to take his secrets to the grave, he will have great difficulty getting a glimpse of his thoughts. In short, Tarok will only be able to read the most basic of thoughts, such as the mood the person may be in, but not the reasons for said mood.

Appearance: Usually has a cloak as black as a starless and moonless night shadowing face, but when cloak is off, to a regular human would look like the most handsome boy they have ever seen. It is a racial trait that made him a handsome boy. He has a heart shaped face, his face is completely white. When the cloak is off, he wears beautiful light weight clothes. He wears a necklace with beads of black obsidian with a green emerald pendant in the middle. The emerald pendant is able to store the beads power.
Also usually wearing a backpack that is as lightweight as his clothes. Holds all of his magic items, but thanks to Nightling magic, its as light as a feather. He came across it by stealing it from a Nightling city, where it was crafted. He also carries around a small pouch full of rocks and vine seed for his spells.

Personality, He is even less trusting to strangers, but to accomplices he has met in the past, he will trust them as much as he can. That could end badly.

Bio: Tarok has been able to avoid the government for a while, but they are getting stronger and braver as he has gotten older. Luckily, so has he. His father is dead, and he is now officially an orphan. Tarok doesn't let that get to him though, and if someone brings it up, he is very passive.

Tarok figured this out when he snuck into a Nightling prison. His informant had told hi, they had found his father. When he got in and looked into the cell, his father was lying there on the ground, fresh blood around him and a knife in his back. Then the dungeon door closed, leaving Tarok to weep over his father. After three days of mourning, he stood up, and looked around for the first time. Rebels had been around the cell as well, and it was a very bad idea for them to lock them in there with him.

For five years, they planned on how to get them all out, and all the while, a rebel mage was teaching Tarok some elemental magic. The day came that it was time to break out, and they made it out. As planned, it was nighttime when they got out. They all went back into hiding, keeping in touch telepathically. He has been moving around ever since.
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Last Edited by Haagar212; 10-30-2011 at 12:49 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #29 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-10-2010, 04:27 PM
Shrub Shrub is offline
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Re: New Charector

Alrighty, there's actually a few things I forgot the last time I approved this character that I want to go over with you.
Quote:
Armor: Cloak of Protection. Protects wearer from physical and non physical attacks.
Quote:
Weakness,Without the Cloak of Protection, he cannot travel in the sunlight. If he tried it, he would not last 5 minutes out in the sun without it. he would be burned beyond recongnition. If you cut his cloak, he would have to get inside a building or in some shade fast or (look above). He is not very strong, but the Cloak of Protection gives him a little extra strength.
Okay, so when you first mention the cloak you say it protects him from physical attacks, but then you state in Weaknesses that if the cloak is cut, it would cause him problems (as they are stated). So this suggests it is possible for the cloak to be damaged, right? I need you to describe in Armor, where the cloak is first mentioned, what kind of damage and how much the cloak can take before it gets ripped, torn, burned, or otherwise damaged in the point of vulnerability. Give me the limits and capability of the Cloak of Protection.
Quote:
Strength: Nightime is when his full power is reaveled. The humans say that the Nightlings are creatures of the night. That is one of the few rumors they have right. When the sun sets, he is stronger, faster, and smarter than in the daytime. He would be so fast that the regular human could not see him. Also he could lift three times his body weight. He would also know more spells than in the daytime.
More details on the increased intelligence factor. And do you actually use this as you've RPed with him? I want to see examples. Does it affect his personality? If so, have you followed this rule in your RPing? Examples needed.

I also want more details on his Weaknesses now. How fast, strong, and smart is he during the daytime when compared to night time?
Quote:
Skills/Magic,He know a few charms, but again, his true power lies in the nightime. Also heals quickly. The attack charms are:
The fast healing belongs in his Strengths. I also will need more details about that. How fast does he heal exactly? Do certain kinds of magic or damage make wounds slower to heal than others? If so, which kinds? I would assume that sunlight and light magic wounds would be more difficult for him.
Quote:
Discharge: Can send out a magic sheild for five yards around.
I'm assuming it's a sphere shield right? Might want to be more exact in the details and make sure that readers know that he is protected from every direction. Also, how long does the shield last and how much force can it take before it snaps?
Quote:
Immobility: The target is immediatley immobilized for a few seconds. If he wanted it longer, he would have to use another.
Be more exact. How much is a few seconds? 3-5?
Quote:
Transfiguration: Can change one thing into another for a period of time. The longer the period of time and how big the object is that he is changing takes another bead.
How much is the standard "period of time"? Again, you need to be a little more exact. Also, what would count as a "big object" for him? I also want to see more limits to this spell. Changing something into another is pretty intense magic. I should think the more drastic the change the more beads the spell would require. And remember to be more exact.
Quote:
Teleportation: Can be used for him and others to move distances faster than usual. When teleporting it seem to the user that they are going into a black hole.The more people and the farther the distance the more beads it takes.
Again, you need to be more exact. How many people per how many beads? How many miles per how many beads? That sort of thing.
Quote:
Portal Making: Used for self only. Can make portal only to places he has seen. Cannot go to places he has heard of,only seen. The longer the traveling distance, the more beads it takes.
Again, give me a more exact bead cost for distance.
Quote:
Fireball: A ball of dark blue, almost black flame.
Limits and details are needed. How hot for how long? What's his range with this spell? Long, short, medium? And then remember to be exact in the distance he can reach in "long", "medium", and "short" range.
Quote:
Vine Snare: Calls vines out of the ground to hold down a victim.
Details: does this only apply if there are plants or vine-like plants nearby to grow? If not, where do the plants come from? Would he need to carry seeds with him to use this spell if there are not plants present?
Quote:
Pebble Storm: Takes the small rocks around him, and is able to direct them at a target. Very volatile.
For how long? How hard and fast are the rocks thrown? What's his range on this attack?
Quote:
Mind Reading: He is now a master of this skill. He can sense thoughts directed at him, and break into other peoples minds easily.
This is too powerful. Give him more limits.
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Last Edited by Shrub; 11-10-2010 at 10:38 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #30 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-11-2010, 06:12 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

Thanks for taking another look at this, Shrub my friend. I hope everything is to your 'approval'. *wink wink.*
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  #31 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-11-2010, 07:09 PM
Shrub Shrub is offline
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Re: New Charector

Not quite yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shrub
Quote:
Originally Posted by You
Armor: Cloak of Protection. Protects wearer from physical and non physical attacks. Also blocks the sunlight in such a way that it does not burn him as most nightlings would in the daytime.
Okay, so when you first mention the cloak you say it protects him from physical attacks, but then you state in Weaknesses that if the cloak is cut, it would cause him problems (as they are stated). So this suggests it is possible for the cloak to be damaged, right? I need you to describe in Armor, where the cloak is first mentioned, what kind of damage and how much the cloak can take before it gets ripped, torn, burned, or otherwise damaged in the point of vulnerability. Give me the limits and capability of the Cloak of Protection.
Do you understand what I'm asking for here? Because you haven't given it to me yet.
Quote:
Weakness: Without the Cloak of Protection, he cannot travel in the sunlight. If he tried it, he would not last 5 minutes out in the sun without it. he would be burned beyond recongnition. If you cut his cloak, he would have to get inside a building or in some shade fast or (look above). He is not very strong, but the Cloak of Protection gives him a little extra strength.
So tell me how strong he is with AND without the cloak. Vague descriptions like "is not very strong" or "gives him a little extra strength" will not do. Try comparing his strength with something else, or tell me how much he can lift like you did in Strengths.
Quote:
Skills/Magic,He know a few charms, but again, his true power lies in the nightime. In the night, as a racial trait, most damage is lifted under the glow of the moon. The attack charms are:
Does this mean all damage instantly? What's the rate of healing?
Quote:
Discharge: Can send out a magic shield for max of five yards. He can now manipulate it into any shape he wants. The shield can take plenty of punishment, but it will break after repeated attacks. Unless otherwise said, the shield is spherical.
Again, these phrases here don't really tell me anything. They're too vague. "Plenty" can mean different things to people, so you need to tell us more exactly how much punishment it can take. What kind of attacks? The phrase "repeated attacks" doesn't help at all either. How many repeated attacks and what kind of attacks? How powerful do they have to be? Don't be afraid to use examples. You should also state clearly if he can hold this shield up, permitting it doesn't get broken, indefinitely or if it will come down on its own after a period of time. If so, be sure to give a specific period of time like five minutes or something like that.
Quote:
Immobility: The target is immediately immobilized for a few seconds. If he wanted it longer, he would have to use another bead from his necklace. This spell has a maximum period per bead of 10 seconds.
So a "few seconds" is 10 seconds, right? I'm just making sure here. Also, do they have to be in a certain range of him? If not, I would prefer that you did give you a range that he cannot cast this spell outside of, just for another good limit, because this is kind of powerful.
Quote:
Transfiguration: Can change one thing into another for a period of time. The longer the period of time and how big the object is that he is changing takes another bead. The time limit on one bead for a object, like a breadbox, would be 12 hours. If changing a person, which he rarely does, would be 3-5 seconds per bead. He uses this mainly for transportation purposes.
Okay, but the thing about size is more about converting something that is originally smaller to something much bigger than it was, and vice versa (something big to something small). The bigger the change of the object or person the more beads it should require and the harder it should be for it to maintain that change for very long. If you have questions for me, don't hesitate to ask.
Quote:
Vine Snare: Calls vines out of the ground to hold down a victim. The range is how far he can throw the seeds. Minimum 3 beads.
So how far can he through them? I'm sure there will be a different distance depending on whether it's night or day, as his strength will be different. Be sure to state them both.
Quote:
Pebble Storm: Takes the small rocks around him, and is able to direct them at a target. Very volatile. The stones move so fast that you can hardly see them, but lose velocity quickly. considered a short range spell.
So what's the range exactly? Give me a measurement of feet and such.
Quote:
Mind Reading: He is now a master of this skill. He can sense thoughts from open minds that are directed at him. And, if an enemy were to come close, he would put up barriers around his own mind, and reach out into theirs. A weakly guarded mind would take 5 minutes or less to break into, but a trained mind, such as a mage, if they sensed him and were able to fight back, Tarok will get into a battle which could last for as long as a half hour, and his concentration would have to be focused on the mind 'wall'. if his concentration is broken, Tarok would have to draw back his mind and try to put the barriers back up before the mind entered his own.
This is still more powerful than I would like it to be. Also, what would you consider an "open mind" and a thought "directed at him"?

Keep in mind some of these questions, like the one above and the transfiguration magic, we can discuss here first if needed before you edit them into your original post. This is so you can ask me questions if you don't understand something and etc.
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Last Edited by Shrub; 11-12-2010 at 03:02 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #32 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-18-2010, 07:35 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

Let's see if this works. Mind reading definitely has a few bugs I'm not sure how to fix, so maybe you can help me with that.
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Old 11-24-2010, 07:00 PM
Shrub Shrub is offline
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Re: New Charector

Sorry for the wait. Been busy.
Quote:
Discharge: Can send out a magic shield for max of five yards. He can now manipulate it into any shape he wants. The shield can take plenty of punishment, like if somebody came down with a single sword once, they wouldn't break it, but if they did that 10 or 15 times, it would start to break apart. Unless otherwise said, the shield is spherical.
This is better, but still not very accurate. What really factors into whether the shield breaks should be the force applied behind the sword, no? So you should go with an example of how much force. You can keep the part about 10 or 15 times, but just be more specific about the force/pressure behind said sword swings.
Quote:
Immobility: The target is immediately immobilized for a few seconds. If he wanted it longer, he would have to use another bead from his necklace. This spell has a maximum period per bead of 10 seconds. Really, The target has to be able to be touched for this t work.
Good job with this. I like that he has to touch them for the spell to work. The only thing is I want a more exact time for "a few seconds." Like 2-3 seconds or something. I also just underlined some typos for you to fix.
Quote:
Transfiguration: Can change one thing into another for a period of time. The longer the period of time and how big the object is that he is changing takes another bead. The time limit on one bead for a object, like a breadbox, would be 12 hours. If changing a person, which he rarely does, would be 3-5 seconds per bead. He uses this mainly for transportation purposes.The larger the change, as if from an elephant to a mouse, would very well wear him out in a few seconds.
I don't think it makes sense for this to wear him out when he uses the beads for energy. I should have been clearer before. I think maybe you should rework this so that it's based more on how big the change is. For example:
Quote:
The longer the period of time and how drastically the object is changed the more beads it costs.
I would then cut out the breadbox example as it doesn't do anything for this way of structuring the spell. Instead, give an example of the biggest change he can do with the level he is at. Or if it depends entirely on the bead amount, give an example of the biggest change he can do for how long with what amount of beads. I know he uses it mostly for transportation (even though he has teleport and portal for that) but if he gets in a hot spot and has to think creatively, you still need to flesh out the limits for it.
Quote:
Vine Snare: Calls vines out of the ground to hold down a victim. The range is how far he can throw the seeds. Minimum 3 beads. On his own, he can throw the seeds about 6 feet, but he fuels it usually with wind slash.
Now, I mentioned before that he sort of has two different strength levels, depending on whether it is night or day, right? So there would be two different distances that he should be able to throw. One distance when it is night and he is strong. Another distance for when it is day and he is weaker. Which one is the "6 feet" measurement for? Night or day? I also expect a second measurement based on this.

When you have specifics on strength level, you need to be consistent throughout his abilities with it. That's why I'm pushing this here. I want you to think about these sort of things when you give him new abilities.
Quote:
Wind slash: Tarok can make a barrier of wind, as strong or as soft as he wants, and can put it out for 5 yards. Usually used to help carry seeds for the vine snare attack.
Are you sure you really want to add this now? I see a lot of things you need to be more specific on this ability already. It will be more work for you, so if you just want to get this approved and over with, maybe you should remove it. But if you really want it enough to be patient with me, I'll go through it with you.
Quote:
Mind Reading: He is now a master of this skill. He can sense thoughts from open minds that are directed at him, as in, if somebody projected a thought, he would be able to sense it.r And, if an enemy were to come close, he would put up barriers around his own mind, and reach out into theirs. A weakly guarded mind would take 5 minutes or less to break into, but a trained mind, such as a mage, if they sensed him and were able to fight back, Tarok will get into a battle which could last for as long as a half hour, and his concentration would have to be focused on the mind 'wall'. if his concentration is broken, Tarok would have to draw back his mind and try to put the barriers back up before the mind entered his own.
This skill is generally a difficult one. It's a little too easy to godmode with, which is why I wanted you to tone it down more. It's difficult because going off this model, it depends on will power of the character, which is a hard thing to measure. If your character got into one of these mind-battles, you could just end up arguing with the other RPer about who had the stronger will.

So for now, let's start with what might be defined as a "open mind." That could even bring this down to the general attitude and demeanor of the person. People who are less open and more secretive are probably going to be harder to hear. People who are cheery and open and perhaps more talkative may have "louder thoughts" which are easier to pick up on. Though there can be variations, like someone who appears cheery and talkative on the outside but are actually very secretive and perhaps deceptive. Just the fact of whether he can hear them as easily or not can tell him a lot about another character. Especially if you compared that to how they appear on the surface.

Not that it's impossible to "hear" into the secretive and close-off and maybe more introverted type. It's more that they're less open and not as loud with their thoughts. It just makes it harder to hear them and get into their heads. It's kind of hard to just "project" thoughts. Most people wouldn't really know how to do that. Maybe they might do that by accident. I would more categorize it as when a person who maybe making eye-contact or are thinking hard and maybe emotionally about someone or something. It could be about him or about something or someone else near him. He should be able to tell generally where these thoughts and feelings are being projected. Especially if they're intense, these thoughts will tend to be "louder" than others.

Also, can he communicate telepathically? If he does, you need to consider range, the connection with the person, how to establish connections, how limited those connections can be, etc.

I would like it better that for now, Tarok can't "break into" minds. I think he should be able to pick up on open-minded thoughts and projects like I stated above. The more closed-off kinds he'll have to get them to warm up to him, be closer to him personally, generally trust him before he'll be able to hear their thoughts clearly.

As for telepathy, I would suggest that connections are based, again, on how close he is with that person and how much they trust him. The strength of their bond should also affect how long the range limit is between them. You may want to give a general example of how far he can reach in maybe three different cases: close-friend, familiar-acquaintance/almost friend, and near-stranger acquaintance.

How does that sound? I'm just giving you something I think is ideal. You can run some of your own ideas about this by me, and I'm sure we'll come up with something you like and that I will approve.
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Last Edited by Shrub; 11-24-2010 at 07:07 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #34 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-25-2010, 11:19 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

I state the time limit for the immobility i the second part of the last sentence.

The problem with mind reading is I don't know how to put that into a short paragraph. i don't really want to cut it, but I have people waiting for me to join with this updated Tarok.
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Old 11-26-2010, 07:06 PM
Shrub Shrub is offline
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Re: New Charector

Right, right. The thing with the immobility is just that I don't think you're very clear about the few seconds=10 seconds. And I guess it's just a semantics thing that bugs me. A couple=1-2, a few=2-3, and several= 4-10. It's not really important, so I won't require it to be changed to match my view of what "a few" means. I'm just pointing out that people might get confused if you aren't explicitly obvious in exactly what you mean and if you don't state it in a very clear fashion.

The mind reading you can keep if you can satisfy me. So what do you think of the layout I just gave you? :
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shrub
So for now, let's start with what might be defined as a "open mind." That could even bring this down to the general attitude and demeanor of the person. People who are less open and more secretive are probably going to be harder to hear. People who are cheery and open and perhaps more talkative may have "louder thoughts" which are easier to pick up on. Though there can be variations, like someone who appears cheery and talkative on the outside but are actually very secretive and perhaps deceptive. Just the fact of whether he can hear them as easily or not can tell him a lot about another character. Especially if you compared that to how they appear on the surface.

Not that it's impossible to "hear" into the secretive and close-off and maybe more introverted type. It's more that they're less open and not as loud with their thoughts. It just makes it harder to hear them and get into their heads. It's kind of hard to just "project" thoughts. Most people wouldn't really know how to do that. Maybe they might do that by accident. I would more categorize it as when a person who maybe making eye-contact or are thinking hard and maybe emotionally about someone or something. It could be about him or about something or someone else near him. He should be able to tell generally where these thoughts and feelings are being projected. Especially if they're intense, these thoughts will tend to be "louder" than others.

Also, can he communicate telepathically? If he does, you need to consider range, the connection with the person, how to establish connections, how limited those connections can be, etc.

I would like it better that for now, Tarok can't "break into" minds. I think he should be able to pick up on open-minded thoughts and projects like I stated above. The more closed-off kinds he'll have to get them to warm up to him, be closer to him personally, generally trust him before he'll be able to hear their thoughts clearly.

As for telepathy, I would suggest that connections are based, again, on how close he is with that person and how much they trust him. The strength of their bond should also affect how long the range limit is between them. You may want to give a general example of how far he can reach in maybe three different cases: close-friend, familiar-acquaintance/almost friend, and near-stranger acquaintance.
Will that work for you? You can even keep my wording for it if you want. If you want to make any adjustments to this layout, we can talk about it.
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Last Edited by Shrub; 11-26-2010 at 07:12 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 11-26-2010, 07:21 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

I don't really get what you want me to do there.
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Old 11-27-2010, 03:12 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

HAHA! I got it, finally. Thank you, Azerik.
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Last Edited by Haagar212; 11-27-2010 at 03:33 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 11-27-2010, 03:42 PM
Shrub Shrub is offline
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Re: New Charector

Very good ^^ Only a couple things left now.
Quote:
Transfiguration: Can change one thing into another for a period of time. The longer the period of time and how big the object is that he is changing takes another bead. If changing a person, which he rarely does, would be 3-5 seconds per bead. He uses this mainly for transportation purposes. The longer the period of time and how drastically the object is changed the more beads it costs.
I don't think this example is good enough alone, because you don't say what you would be changing. But it is good to have limits on how much you can change a person for how long.

How about another example that shows how many beads it would take for a big change and for how long?
Quote:
Discharge: Can send out a magic shield for max of five yards. He can now manipulate it into any shape he wants. The shield can take plenty of punishment, like if somebody came down with a single sword once, they wouldn't break it, but if they did that 10 or 15 times, it would start to break apart. About 75 pounds of pressure would be needed to make a significant crack. Unless otherwise said, the shield is spherical.
Okay, good, but do you mean each 10 or 15 hits would have to have 75 pounds of pressure each to make a crack? If so that, that's good. Just say it more clearly, okay?
Quote:
Appearance: Usually has a cloak as black as a starless and moonless night shadowing face, but when cloak is off, to a regular human would look like the most handsome boy they have ever seen. It is a racial trait that made him a handsome boy. He has a heart shaped face, his face is completely white. When the cloak is off, he wears beautiful light weight clothes. He wears a necklace with beads of black obsidian with a green emerald pendant in the middle. The emerald pendant is able to store the beads power.
Also usually wearing a backpack that is as lightweight as his clothes. Holds all of his magic items, but thanks to Nightling magic, its as light as a feather. He also carries around a small pouch full of rocks and vine seed for his spells.
So the first underlined part. I want to know what you mean exactly by the pendant storing the beads power. The beads already hold power, so why do you need the pendant? What does it do that is different than the beads?

The second underlined part, about the backpack. Where did he get this? How did it become magical?
Quote:
Weapon: Dagger of Change. Can change into anything the owner wants. Every change is a bead from his necklace. He also has 25 Kunai knives and shurican each. Basic and gotten in one of his adventures with Azerik Zaraki.
Starting with the underlined part about the dagger of change. I want more limits stated explicitly. I expect limits similar to but not exactly like those of the transfiguration spell. Allowing this to change indefinitely into anything you want is a little too powerful. So just add some time limits, and also property limits. What I mean by property limits is that it shouldn't be able to change into anything more powerful than the dagger already is. So no ultra powerful magic swords or items made out of indestructible metal or whatever. However, things like keys or other handy items that are generally normal and non-magical are fine.

Now for the second underlined part about the knives. I just noticed that you don't state how good he is with them. Maybe you should give a little description about his skills in the Skills/Magic section. Something that tell us his strengths and limits when using these weapons, okay?
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Last Edited by Shrub; 11-27-2010 at 09:44 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #39 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 12-01-2010, 06:09 PM
Haagar212 Haagar212 is a male United States Haagar212 is offline
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Re: New Charector

There we go!
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Old 12-02-2010, 03:17 PM
Shrub Shrub is offline
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Re: New Charector

Quote:
Weapon: Dagger of Change. Can change into anything the owner wants. Every change is a bead from his necklace. The limits on this are: He can only have plain steel or wood weapons, no magic swords. He also has 25 Kunai knives and shurican each. Basic and gotten in one of his adventures with Azerik Zaraki.
Better, though I wasn't trying to say the dagger should only change into normal weapons. It can still change into various other items as long as those are normal and not magical as well. So maybe if you change your word choice from weapons and swords to items, it gives a little more accuracy.
Quote:
Transfiguration: Can change one thing into another for a period of time. The longer the period of time and how big the object is that he is changing takes another bead. If changing a person, which he rarely does, would be 3-5 seconds per bead. If we get into specifics, a 200+ man would take 3-5 beads, anything lower than that would take less and less., bu He uses this mainly for transportation purposes. The longer the period of time and how drastically the object is changed the more beads it costs.
This is underlined part is not very clear. Do you mean a man who weighs 200 pounds? If so, state it clearly. Not everyone will know what you mean by "200+ man".

It doesn't completely achieve what I asked of you last time either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shrub
How about another example that shows how many beads it would take for a big change and for how long?
So how about I give to you this for Transfiguration:
Quote:
Originally Posted by From Shrub to you
Transfiguration: Can change one thing into another for a period of time. The longer the period of time and how big the object is that he is changing takes another bead. If changing a small person's physical appearance to the appearance of a person of the same species and body type but different racial features, which he rarely does, would be 3-5 seconds per bead to maintain it. If we get into specifics, a 200+ lbs. man would take 3-5 beads per 3-5 seconds, anything lower than that would take less and less. The bigger the changes from the person's size to a different size and their physical traits will require more and more beads to maintain per seconds. He uses this mainly for transportation purposes. The longer the period of time and how drastically the object is changed the more beads it costs. So say if he tried to change an elephant to a mouse for 3-5 seconds it would cost 20 beads due to vast size differences and physical changes. So as long as he is changing something to another of a similar size and physical traits, like a large metal pole into a metal bicycle, he should be able to maintain the change for a half hour per 5 beads.
How is that? Will this layout work for you to use for this spell?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shrub
Quote:
Originally Posted by You
Appearance: Usually has a cloak as black as a starless and moonless night shadowing face, but when cloak is off, to a regular human would look like the most handsome boy they have ever seen. It is a racial trait that made him a handsome boy. He has a heart shaped face, his face is completely white. When the cloak is off, he wears beautiful light weight clothes. He wears a necklace with beads of black obsidian with a green emerald pendant in the middle. The emerald pendant is able to store the beads power.
So the first underlined part. I want to know what you mean exactly by the pendant storing the beads power. The beads already hold power, so why do you need the pendant? What does it do that is different than the beads?
Good job with the backpack part, but you didn't answer these questions about the pendant for me.

Maybe I didn't say it clearly enough. I want to know the difference between functions of the beads and the pendant. I want to know if they are different, how they are differently exactly.

I'm sorry if I'm not being clear enough. If you're confused, just say so and I'll try to say it more clearly.
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Last Edited by Shrub; 12-02-2010 at 03:19 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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