Sorry for the wait. Been busy.
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Discharge: Can send out a magic shield for max of five yards. He can now manipulate it into any shape he wants. The shield can take plenty of punishment, like if somebody came down with a single sword once, they wouldn't break it, but if they did that 10 or 15 times, it would start to break apart. Unless otherwise said, the shield is spherical.
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This is better, but still not very accurate. What really factors into whether the shield breaks should be the force applied behind the sword, no? So you should go with an example of how much force. You can keep the part about 10 or 15 times, but just be more specific about the force/pressure behind said sword swings.
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Immobility: The target is immediately immobilized for a few seconds. If he wanted it longer, he would have to use another bead from his necklace. This spell has a maximum period per bead of 10 seconds. Really, The target has to be able to be touched for this t work.
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Good job with this. I like that he has to touch them for the spell to work. The only thing is I want a more exact time for "a few seconds." Like 2-3 seconds or something. I also just underlined some typos for you to fix.
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Transfiguration: Can change one thing into another for a period of time. The longer the period of time and how big the object is that he is changing takes another bead. The time limit on one bead for a object, like a breadbox, would be 12 hours. If changing a person, which he rarely does, would be 3-5 seconds per bead. He uses this mainly for transportation purposes.The larger the change, as if from an elephant to a mouse, would very well wear him out in a few seconds. |
I don't think it makes sense for this to wear
him out when he uses the beads for energy. I should have been clearer before. I think maybe you should rework this so that it's based more on how big the change is. For example:
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The longer the period of time and how drastically the object is changed the more beads it costs.
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I would then cut out the breadbox example as it doesn't do anything for this way of structuring the spell. Instead, give an example of the biggest change he can do with the level he is at. Or if it depends entirely on the bead amount, give an example of the biggest change he can do for how long with what amount of beads. I know he uses it mostly for transportation (even though he has teleport and portal for that) but if he gets in a hot spot and has to think creatively, you still need to flesh out the limits for it.
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Vine Snare: Calls vines out of the ground to hold down a victim. The range is how far he can throw the seeds. Minimum 3 beads. On his own, he can throw the seeds about 6 feet, but he fuels it usually with wind slash. |
Now, I mentioned before that he sort of has two different strength levels, depending on whether it is night or day, right? So there would be two different distances that he should be able to throw. One distance when it is night and he is strong. Another distance for when it is day and he is weaker. Which one is the "6 feet" measurement for? Night or day? I also expect a second measurement based on this.
When you have specifics on strength level, you need to be consistent throughout his abilities with it. That's why I'm pushing this here. I want you to think about these sort of things when you give him new abilities.
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Wind slash: Tarok can make a barrier of wind, as strong or as soft as he wants, and can put it out for 5 yards. Usually used to help carry seeds for the vine snare attack.
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Are you sure you really want to add this now? I see a lot of things you need to be more specific on this ability already. It will be more work for you, so if you just want to get this approved and over with, maybe you should remove it. But if you really want it enough to be patient with me, I'll go through it with you.
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Mind Reading: He is now a master of this skill. He can sense thoughts from open minds that are directed at him, as in, if somebody projected a thought, he would be able to sense it.r And, if an enemy were to come close, he would put up barriers around his own mind, and reach out into theirs. A weakly guarded mind would take 5 minutes or less to break into, but a trained mind, such as a mage, if they sensed him and were able to fight back, Tarok will get into a battle which could last for as long as a half hour, and his concentration would have to be focused on the mind 'wall'. if his concentration is broken, Tarok would have to draw back his mind and try to put the barriers back up before the mind entered his own.
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This skill is generally a difficult one. It's a little too easy to godmode with, which is why I wanted you to tone it down more. It's difficult because going off this model, it depends on will power of the character, which is a hard thing to measure. If your character got into one of these mind-battles, you could just end up arguing with the other RPer about who had the stronger will.
So for now, let's start with what might be defined as a "open mind." That could even bring this down to the general attitude and demeanor of the person. People who are less open and more secretive are probably going to be harder to hear. People who are cheery and open and perhaps more talkative may have "louder thoughts" which are easier to pick up on. Though there can be variations, like someone who appears cheery and talkative on the outside but are actually very secretive and perhaps deceptive. Just the fact of whether he can hear them as easily or not can tell him a lot about another character. Especially if you compared that to how they appear on the surface.
Not that it's impossible to "hear" into the secretive and close-off and maybe more introverted type. It's more that they're less open and not as loud with their thoughts. It just makes it harder to hear them and get into their heads. It's kind of hard to just "project" thoughts. Most people wouldn't really know how to do that. Maybe they might do that by accident. I would more categorize it as when a person who maybe making eye-contact or are thinking hard and maybe emotionally about someone or something. It could be about him or about something or someone else near him. He should be able to tell generally where these thoughts and feelings are being projected. Especially if they're intense, these thoughts will tend to be "louder" than others.
Also, can he communicate telepathically? If he does, you need to consider range, the connection with the person, how to establish connections, how limited those connections can be, etc.
I would like it better that for now, Tarok can't "break into" minds. I think he should be able to pick up on open-minded thoughts and projects like I stated above. The more closed-off kinds he'll have to get them to warm up to him, be closer to him personally, generally trust him before he'll be able to hear their thoughts clearly.
As for telepathy, I would suggest that connections are based, again, on how close he is with that person and how much they trust him. The strength of their bond should also affect how long the range limit is between them. You may want to give a general example of how far he can reach in maybe three different cases: close-friend, familiar-acquaintance/almost friend, and near-stranger acquaintance.
How does that sound? I'm just giving you something I think is ideal. You can run some of your own ideas about this by me, and I'm sure we'll come up with something you like and that I will approve.